#907 A Story About Bacteria Lately

Countless phantoms now drift through the air at the Mermaid Medical Association’s conference venue.

They represent the myriad of bacteria and viruses teeming in space, made visible by transmuting their spirits.

There are spherical ones, some stretching into ellipses. 

The are also others that look like single hair-like appendages similar to Naminohira’s hairstyle.

Each carries a vaguely familiar visual presence.

“Eeeeeeeeeeeeeek! What the?! What are theseeeeeeeeeeeeeeee?!”

“Is this some new offensive potion by a witch?! Are we gonna get killedddddddddd?!” 

The members of the Mermaid Medical Association are seized by terror.

They look like they’re on the verge of stampeding towards the exit.

Alas, their escape is thwarted by Platy and Puffer, standing guard, ensuring no one can flee. What savages.

Even amidst the chaos, the spirit-transformed bacteria leisurely drift through the air...

“Munnnn, munnnn.”

“Ferment and rottttt.”

“Shiny shinyyyy.”

What languid creatures.

Really, do bacteria behave like this?

From what I hear, bacteria are unicellular organisms of simple construction, lacking their own means of movement (though there are exceptions). They drift with the wind and flow of water, leaving their fate to nature. They survive if they happen upon a suitable host and die if not.

Perhaps this casual existence is to be expected from such beings...?

“Now, seeing is not enough for you skeptics, is it? Let us proceed to more concrete demonstrations,” says Garra Rufa, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

She’s on a roll, isn’t she?!

“Dear bacteria, what might your name be?”

“Am E. coli, y’knowww.”

E. coli?!

The infamous one?!

“While many treat me as a villainnnn, I also help with digestion in your guts, y’knowwww. There’s plenty of me in your pooooop.”

“E. coli here is none other than a spirit incarnation of the bacteria residing in your very own gut,” says Garra Rufa, pointing at one of the Association members.

Suddenly called out, they are left baffled.

“Th-That creature... inside me...?!”

“E. coli assists with digestion but can also cause specific diseases. To demonstrate this... E. coli, could you cause a bit of trouble?” 

“Owkieee. Pathogenic E. coli, at your serviceeee.”

Immediately, one of the Association members begins to writhe in agony.

“Hgyaaaaaaaa! Ooooobhhhhh!!! My stomach! It hurts unbearablyyyyyy! Let me go to the toilet, pleaseeeeeee!”

“The symptoms caused by pathogenic E. coli include diarrhea, abdominal pain, and vomiting, spreading through the feces or vomit of the infected. The primary prevention measure is to securely contain excretions and prevent them from being touched by others. E. coli slowly dies off in the air, as I have observed.”

Garra Rufa... is capable of conversing with and commanding bacteria...?!

At her command, bacteria work, causing diseases... 

Just as her nickname, “The Witch of Plague,” suggests.

Has Garra Rufa truly embodied her witch name?!

“Well then. Stubborn as you are, a single demonstration won’t convince you, will it? Next, let’s have the cholera bacteria take the stage.”

“Stop! We concede! Your theory is correct! Please, no moreeee!!!”

They quickly yield to her threat.

Even the Mermaid Medical Association, who had refused to acknowledge Garra Rufa’s theories, admitted defeat all too easily.

“What? That’s it? I was about to introduce viruses after the bacteria.” 

“Yeah! You’re all pathetic!!!”

What’s that angry bacteria spirit beside Garra Rufa?

Or maybe it’s a virus spirit?

“Let me introduce... this entity is the virus responsible for the dreaded disease Hydro Runaway.”

“Don’t lump me with bacteria! We’re noble molecular structures! We can even infect computers!”

That’s a different kind of virus altogether.

“Through conversations with this Hydro Runaway virus.. we’ve come to understand each other. And I’ve successfully persuaded the virus to weaken its virulence.” 

“She’s right! For the lady’s sake, I can’t refuse! I’ll weaken my toxins a bit!” 

“What?”

“I-I mean, I’ll greatly weaken them! Or even make them non-toxic! I can’t stand up to the lady at all!!!”

...

...Could it be...?

Is this how vaccines are made for viruses and bacteria?!

Not through a scientific approach, but by direct negotiation?!

“Yes, that’s right! I really wanted to talk with the bacteria, so I learned possession magic from the Professor and finally managed to communicate with them. From there, I moved to detoxification and vaccine creation.”

Truly, a genius’s thought process is beyond comprehension...

So, does this mean the great debate over bacteria and viruses at the Mermaid Medical Association has finally come to a close?

It feels a bit like we forced our way to a resolution, doesn’t it?

“What an argument... we’ve lost.”

Ah, is that the tsundere, Docosa Hexaene?

He approaches Garra Rufa, his expression lacking its former hostility.

“Admitting defeat was this easy after all. Your genius, the invisible world visible to you... I should have believed in your theories to protect you rather than convincing you to conform, thinking it was for your best...!”

So, he’s been actively trying to undermine Garra Rufa’s theories?

Well, she’s not exactly socially adept.

Thinking of her best, changing her mind to conform might have seemed the right path.

“But it seems I was mistaken... It’s geniuses like you who change and advance society. I should have been helping with that. It’s not too late; let me assist in your great achievements!!!”

“Now he’s being reasonable?”

Platy, shush.

“I want to nominate you as the honorary president of the Mermaid Medical Association! And with you as the leader, spread vaccines throughout the Mermaid Kingdom! I’ll support you with all my might! And... to further our cooperation... will you marry me?!”

Ohh, he even proposed amidst the chaos?!

It’s a merfolk tradition to rush into marriage with such momentum and vigor, though it’s rare for a man to make such advances toward a woman!

Will Garra Rufa accept this momentum and step into the realm of married witches like her peers?!

“No, thank you.”

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa?! 

She refuseddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd?!

An unprecedented response?!

Docosa Hexaene was sent flying. Without any physical impact, he soared four meters through the air, crashed to the ground, rolled across the floor, and finally came to a halt against a wall!

“Being an honorary president sounds too troublesome! I just want to focus on my research! I don’t want to deal with the tedious work of the society!”

Oh, that’s what she meant.

A typical argument of a research-focused genius, but what about the proposal?

“I plan to continue researching the farm for life, so I can’t return to the Mermaid Kingdom! Therefore, I cannot marry! No hard feelings!”

Garra Rufa bows politely before Docosa Hexaene, now a man crushed in defeat.

Hmm, I pity the guy.

Had he expressed his affection more straightforwardly earlier, perhaps a different outcome awaited. I guess tsundere actions are worth pondering over.

Two spirit entities console the devastated Docosa Hexaene.

“Cheer upppp, want some nutrient drinkkkk?”

“Pathetic! Getting dumped isn’t the end of the world! Man up! We viruses don’t have genders, but still!”

Apologies, one of the two is a virus.

Being comforted by bacteria and viruses must be a first for humanity.

Though the conclusion was unexpected, the Mermaid Kingdom’s vaccine debate, championed by Garra Rufa’s exposition of bacteria and viruses, has come to a close.