#900 The Vegetable that Summons the Cool Breeze

This is a farm.

I’m managing it.

Did you know that?

...Don't you think I've been forgetting my roots lately, to the point where one might feel compelled to question it?

Maybe it’s a bit late for that realization. 

Yeah.

It’s not like I’m suggesting we go back to square one, but today’s chat will be all farm talk.

Even as we’ve built various things outside the farm and meddled in the politics of different countries, farming always happened on the side.

Tilling diligently, sowing seeds, and taking care until harvest, our storehouses are always brimming.

It might be time to build the 27th storehouse, I think.

That aside, after farming for so long, you’d think there isn’t a crop I haven’t tried my hand at. Well, there is, actually.

What do you think it is?

Watermelons.

Surprisingly, I’ve never tried growing them before.

So, on a whim, I decided to give it a go.

And voilà.

“They grew splendidly.”

In a new corner of the farm dedicated to watermelons, they’re thriving, rolling around in abundance. 

Each one is impressively large, rivaling a bowling ball in size.

Their unique striped patterns bring a sense of nostalgia to me, a traveler from another world.

But getting to this point was a journey...!

Like many crops, watermelons attracted their fair share of birds, beasts, and bugs intent on thieving bites...!!!

Especially notable was the emergence of a new species of small monsters that appeared out of nowhere once the watermelons started growing.

These creatures would make tiny holes in the watermelons and eat the insides cleanly.

These monsters, called Trash Bears, were small but ferociously wild, making it dangerous for children to be near them.

Initially, I was desperate to defend the crop, but then, on a whim, I tried offering them cotton candy. 

Perhaps it’s in their nature, but before eating, they tried to wash it, which, of course, led to the candy dissolving in water. Shocked by this, they haven’t come near since.

But I digress. Essentially, after overcoming numerous challenges, the watermelons were a successssssss!

Huh?

Why watermelons, you ask?

...Uh, no particular reason?

If pressed, I’d say because they’re delicious?

Watermelons are tasty, aren’t they?

Watermelons are a symbol of summer, after all.

Combine that with wind chimes and bamboo blinds, and you’ve got the perfect summer set.

They’re the best way to cool off, no matter how scorching hot it gets.

“We did it, Lord Saint! A new crop has flourished!!!”

The orcs and goblins working with me in the fields are overjoyed.

“Now that they’ve grown, let’s taste them at once!!!”

Right.

Only by tasting them can we truly appreciate the effort of nurturing them to this stage.

“So, how do we prepare this crop?!”

“Hm?”

“Do we boil it? Roast it? Or perhaps pickle it in vinegar?”

What are you guys talking about?

“Watermelons aren’t meant to be cooked. They’re not vegetables.”

“They’re not vegetables?”

“Huh?”

Why would watermelons be considered vegetables?

But wait.

I look over the vegetable garden spread before me.

These watermelons were harvested from the field.

And everything harvested from the field is a vegetable...

...Is that how it works?

“By the way, what constitutes a fruit for you guys?”

“Fruits are what grows in the Dungeon Orchard.”

In their understanding, fruits are things that grow on trees.

Anything that grows from a stem or vine in a field is a vegetable.

That logic is mostly correct, but...!

“Well, I hate to overthrow your common sense, but let’s open our minds and listen closely.”

“Y-Yes, My Lord...!”

“Watermelons...are fruits.”

Though, that might not strictly be true.

There’s a real argument to be had about whether watermelons, which don’t grow on trees, are vegetables. 

Are they really vegetables? Or fruits?

But if a fruit shop handles them and they’re sold in the produce section of a supermarket, then isn’t it fine to call them fruits?

Maybe we should ask an expert in the field?

“Is there even a professional for distinguishing fruits from vegetables?” you might ask. Well, there is. 

Right here on this farm.

The tree spirits living in the Dungeon Orchard.

Though spiritual beings, they gain physical bodies by inhabiting trees, allowing them to influence this world.

I figured this could be handy, so I asked them to look after our fruit trees.

This is a win-win because once they move into a tree, they know exactly how it’s doing and if it’s sick or not.

Citrus, apples, grapes... various types of tree spirits gathered...

And started a heated debate.

“Fruits that don’t grow on trees cannot be acknowledged as fruits!”

“That’s right! Remember what we call ourselves? ‘Tree’ spirits! How could we inhabit anything but trees? Our pride won’t allow it!!!”

“But considering the noble mission bestowed upon us by Lord Saint, shouldn’t we possess even stems and vines if needed?!”

“As long as the host is a fruit filled with essence, it shouldn’t matter if it’s not a leaf or root!”

“But it’s an annual plant!”

The debate heated up, and there were no signs of concluding soon, so I decided to leave it at that for now.

Let’s fully enjoy the fruits of our labor with these watermelons.

I’ve already sunk one or two in the water well.

Why?

To chill them, of course.

Though I could have just put them in the cold storage managed by Discus, isn’t there something special about the tradition?

Eating a watermelon chilled in a well or stream water is something everyone should experience at least once in their life!

And so, I fulfill this dream in another world!!!

Now, to retrieve the watermelon from the well’s depths... and cleave it in two with the holy sword Dreischwartz!

Schwiwiwing!

As expected of the holy sword. It leaves the cut surface as smooth as glass.

“My Lord...! Is it really okay to eat it like this?”

“What about boiling or roasting it?!”

The orcs and goblins are still skeptical, not fully convinced it’s not a vegetable.

It’s gonna be fine, guys.

Not all vegetables need to be cooked before eating, you know?

Cucumbers and tomatoes are often eaten chilled and raw!

Just give it a try, will you? 

Here!

“This is delicioussssssssss!!!”

“The crisp texture and subtle sweetness! And the juiciness! Even the crunch of the seeds adds to the experienceeeeee!!”

...Yeah.

But spit out the seeds, don’t chew them. 

They’re not meant to be eaten.

Like this, pfft, pfft, pfft... spitting them out like a machine gun is another summer tradition.

But yeah, watermelon seeds do make eating a bit cumbersome.

If the edible part of watermelons weren’t rigged with seeds in what can only be described as a vexatious distribution, wouldn’t the consumption of watermelons have doubled by now?

Pondering over this, I start picking out the seeds.

If you had to categorize, I’m the type to pick them out before eating rather than sorting them in my mouth.

“Mmm, watermelon is so good.”

“The seeds are tasty too.”

In the end, the orcs and goblins happily munch on, seeds and all.

Given their dental strength, jaw power, and digestive resilience are on a different level, maybe it’s no issue for them.

“You might think we’ve covered it all, but there’s another level to this watermelon!!!”

And that is... this: salt!

“Salt? But this watermelon is sweet?”

“We might add salt to cucumbers or tomatoes for flavor, but wouldn’t adding salt to such a sweet watermelon cause a clash?”

You might think so, right?

But be deceived no more, just sprinkle a bit of salt and see.

“Whooooaaaaa!”

“Is it the contrast from the saltiness?! It makes the watermelon’s sweetness even more intensifiiiiied!”

“What kind of sorcery is this?!”

By adding a bit of salt, the inherent sweetness of the watermelon is enhanced.

The method of sprinkling watermelon with salt was well received by everyone.