#813 The Other Pair of Newlyweds: The Husband’s Side

I am Gobukichi.

The ultimate evolved goblin, the Takehaya Susano-o Goblin.

I’m married.

Indeed, I am a goblin who, against all odds, has taken a wife and established a domestic life.

A married man, Gobukichi.

My comrade-in-arms, Orkubo, who married around the same time, appears to be in considerable distress adjusting to the drastic changes that marriage has brought upon his life.

It seems he’s uncertain about how to embrace the man he’s becoming.

Yet, I’ve had an epiphany.

Who truly commands the matrimonial ship?

The answer is always the same. The one who seizes the situation, who leads, holds the reins!

Being passive means losing the initiative, you see!

Hence, in the household, the husband must never simply let the wife have her way!

One must always be proactive!

However, this doesn’t mean one should become aggressive. Matrimony is about mutual support, after all.

Even our revered master, Lord Saint, who himself is wed, shows us this truth through his example.

Marriage is about husbands cherishing wives and vice-versa.

To lead, one must not outmaneuver or topple one’s spouse but rather preemptively craft a joyous marital life for the other.

Which brings me to this state.

“Oh Carp-tan, I love, love, love, love you! My adoration, my infatuation, it’s overwhelming! Hah, hah! Hah, hah! Just having you by my side empowers me! My heart flutters with thoughts of youuuuuuuuuuuu!!!”

That’s the essence of it.

Do not deem it creepy.

I’m aware that the majority might find it so.

Especially Orkubo, who sometimes passes by our fence with a look of utter dejection, as if to say, “He’s changed.”

...Ah, Orkubo is still too naive. This just proves he has yet to master the art of married life.

That’s right! The secret to marital bliss is to bestow upon one’s wife what she desires before she even knows she desires it!

My wife, Carp-tan, might seem stern, but she is, in fact, a pampered girl craving intense affection deep inside.

As her husband, I can read these cues.

One of my unique abilities as a fully evolved goblin, the power of precognition, reveals to me how to delight Carp-tan the most.

By generously granting her joys, I’ll captivate her heart and guide her sentiments!

Then, Carp-tan will unconsciously follow my lead, and when the moment demands, she will not question my decisions.

The epitome of a husband’s authority achieved!

How about that! This is the art of training a wife!

After all, I am a goblin! I follow the prevalent view that towards women, I should be the most ruthless and fiendish creature!

Prepare yourself, Carp-tan! I shall train you until you are an utterly docile doll that simply responds to my commands!

Gugegegegegegegege...!

...Cough! Cough, cough!

I choked, trying to force an unnatural laugh?!

***

Thus continues the daily ritual of sweetening my wife’s life.

Just the treats and no whip.

Today marks the annual event at Orkubo’s Castle, a customary affair.

Usually, I’d be part of the organization, but we’ve been excused this time as newlyweds.

They said I should use this precious time to attend to my wife instead.

Orkubo was also told the same but chose to participate of his own volition.

It seems he still harbors some internal conflict.

As for me, conflict is foreign to my nature!

Events like this are perfect opportunities to increase her favorability toward... I mean, her dependency on me!

One must leverage every situational advantage to gain favor!

So today, Carp-tan and I are thoroughly enjoying Orkubo’s Castle as regulars.

Then again, it’s actually my first time experiencing this event from a guest’s perspective.

One must take this chance to understand how outsiders perceive Orkubo’s Castle.

...Ah, I must be careful not to slip into work mode again.

“Ahnnnn! This way, darling! This wayyy!”

“Yes, yesss! Coming, Carp-taaaan!!!”

After all, I’m in the midst of conditioning my wife to heed my every whim.

For now, forget personal sentiments and focus on creating enjoyable moments for her. If it means playing the fool, then so be it!

But being on the consumer side, it’s clear that Orkubo’s Castle is designed for the enjoyment of not just the participants but the spectators as well.

The spectators’ kiosk, the variety of mini attractions.

Orkubo’s Castle remains ever popular as a perennial event precisely because it is designed for enjoyment for both participants and onlookers alike.

“Let’s grab something to eat while we’re here, Carp-tan! How about that natto set?!”

Letasreit and Horkosfon’s natto kiosk has become a staple of farm-organized events.

They have options for munching on the go and a wide array of souvenirs.

Natto has become so essential at farm-hosted events it’s practically a requirement.

“I don’t want it. It’s smelly.”

“Ah...”

Silence is golden here.

Now is the time to indulge Carp-tan to the fullest and make her utterly pliable! One must agree with everything she says to cultivate dependency!

“Right you are! Natto is indeed too pungent to stomach!”

“Well said, Sir Gobukichi! I knew you have discerning eyes!!!”

Later, we found a merchandise corner at the store.

Women do adore shopping, after all. Perhaps I can find something to her liking and curry favor.

...Oh?

“Why don’t we buy that, Carp-tan?”

“Huh? That’s...!”

A T-shirt.

It’s one of those event-exclusive tees with the logo!

Here at Orkubo’s Castle, they are an omnipresent item. With sizes from S to XL, each shirt is emblazoned with the castle’s elegantly penned logo.

But what catches my eye most is...

“This couple’s set! Matching shirts for us!”

Not just identical in design for both men and women, but the logos themselves are special!

Hearts adorn the fabric, signaling an over-the-top revelry!

A perfect fit for giddy newlyweds indeed!!!

“S-Sir Gobukichi...! As much as I appreciate it, isn’t this a tad embarrassing...?!”

“Embarrassing? We are merely expressing our love for one another in a tangible form. What’s shameful about that?”

“Oh, darling...!!!”

Thus, we parade through Orkubo’s Castle dressed in the blinding heart pattern of matching t-shirts, making a spectacle of our infatuation!

There were other couples around, but none quite as addled in their courtship as us!

“Ah, look over there, they’re selling couple’s juice too! You know, the kind with two straws in one cup! Let’s share one, Carp-tan!”

“Whaaaaaaaaat?! That, too?!”

That’s right. My plan is to indulge in every conceivable couple’s activity until Carp-tan’s mind is steeped in the honey of happiness!

Eventually, she’ll become a wife who accepts her husband’s words without a doubt!

This is my scheme! A husband’s strategic rule of the household!

Witness, Orkubo! This is the determination needed for those of us who are wed!

There’s no time for confusion at our changing selves!

Worry only after action! Action is the cornerstone that supports the self of tomorrow!

...Oops, there’s a queue.

The popularity of the visitor attractions at Orkubo’s Castle often results in long lines, with waits of an hour or more being commonplace.

Waiting is tedious.

And if one can’t alleviate that tedium, one risks being labeled “boring.”

That very boredom has been known to cause a couple’s strife - the amusement park trap, as declared by Our Lord!

But fear not, I am fully prepared! Behold my killer strategy to keep the charm alive!

“Carp-tan, show me more of your face.”

“Oh, darling...!”

“Even a hundred years would pass unnoticed while I gaze upon your beauty.”

And thus, even the cursed waiting time passes effortlessly.

By the way, my hardworking goblin colleagues on the farm manage the public facilities at Orkubo’s Castle.

They handle everything from the merchandise corner to the sale of couple’s juice to managing the lines for attractions.

Therefore, my unabashed display of affection has been thoroughly witnessed...

“Leader Gobukichi has changed...!”

“He used to be such a reserved goblin...!”

“Is love so potent as to transform a man so completely...?!”

I receive some rather disagreeing looks from my fellow goblin associates.

No, you don’t understand! This is...!

It’s the effort to master married life, as one must remold oneself to please the wife!

He who battles with monsters should see that he does not become a monster himself, you know!