#693 A Tea A Day Keeps the Doctor Away

Ssssssip...!

Coffee’s so good. Oh, hey, it’s me again.

The elves have circulated the tea leaves they produced, and time has passed.

Offering the final product for free or nearly free is a typical strategy for launching a new product.

I mean, it takes guts to buy something unknown.

You could waste your hard-earned money.

That’s why sending out samples is so effective.

We’re not taking any money at first!

Just try our product for free!

And if you experience its effectiveness and can confirm the product’s good, you’ll purchase it at a reasonable price from next time!

It’s indulgent of the seller to ask for the full price from the beginning!

When it comes to a new product, the important thing is to get people to know about it. After all, the consumer has no basis for judging at first! 

Like advertising costs, there’s no way the product can become known to the world for free, so initial investment to raise awareness is essential!

Thus, it seemed like a good strategy for the elves to distribute the new product—tea—for free to promote it.

Although, I wondered about them entering homes unnoticed and leaving them there.

They’re trespassing like Santa Claus.

Then again, just a few years ago, these elves were literally breaking into houses and stealing, so in a sense, they were leveraging their experience.

However, wouldn’t people be too suspicious to use something left in their house without their knowledge?

As I worried about this, feedback began to trickle in from the homes that had received the tea samples.

I was surprised there was a system to collect such reviews, but the following are the comments from the people who tried Elf Tea:

“With Elf Tea, Grandpa’s back pain was cured!”

“With Elf Tea, my sickly daughter has become healthy!”

“With Elf Tea, my chronic ailment has disappeared!”

“With Elf Tea, my arrow-pierced knee has completely healed!”

“With Elf Tea, I got a girlfriend!”

“With Elf Tea, I was able to master the ultimate secret technique that I couldn’t learn for many years!”

“With Elf Tea, I was able to attain a complete form!”

“With Elf Tea, I was able to prevent the resurrection of the evil god Hippopomadus!”

“With Elf Tea, I was able to avoid a meteor collision!”

...

Quite the rave reviews, huh.

Well, I had a hunch this would happen before it hit the market.

I mean, we’re talking about tea infused with the effects of Yggdrasil here.

Naturally, drinking it will cure any disease or injury, and you might even rejuvenate.

It might even bring the dead back to life... no, that’s probably impossible since it’s not the actual leaf.

Either way, its incredible efficacy is undeniable, and its impact is transforming society itself.

“This isn’t good...!”

Originally, I didn’t like causing unnecessary changes with the modern knowledge I brought from another world or the gifts I received from the gods.

Rapid changes always lead to distortions somewhere, or so the manga I once read said.

So as much as possible, even if my existence unavoidably affects the world, I want it to be minimal and for the changes to be gradual.

The impact of this Elf Tea is clearly beyond what I can allow.

So, I decided to call in all the elves, starting with Aileron, and have a discussion with them.

“Please stop selling Elf Tea.”

“WHAAAAAT?!”

Aileron, the High Elves L4C, and the Elf Monarch express their disapproval in unison.

No matter how much they dislike it, no means no!

“The Elf Tea is too effective. At this rate, it will cure all the sick and injured people in the world and eradicate all causes of death. Life expectancy will skyrocket.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? Isn’t that good as it is?”

It’s not as simple as you think.

Yes, it’s good for people to be healthy and live long, but if everyone in the world becomes like that, the impact on various parts of society will be enormous.

First of all, all the doctors worldwide will lose their jobs.

There will be some sort of chaos due to the drastic spike in average lifespan, affecting food and housing situations.

The chaos that would ensue might affect more lives than would be lost to ordinary diseases.

“If a catastrophic war or something like that happens to adjust the overgrown population, or if people are abandoned in space, the responsibility will fall on me. I don’t want rapid changes in order to preserve the peace of another world. Do you understand?”

“Mmmrh...?!”

As I patiently explain, the elves, who find my explanation perplexing, reluctantly say...

“...Can’t be helped; we can’t proceed with the plan if Lord Saint opposes it.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“But! We could just suppress the effects of the tea leaves and keep selling them, right?! That should minimize the impact, and there should be no problem!”

“Wha...?!”

Sure, it’d be great if the effects could be lessened... 

But is that even possible?

“Absolutely! If you appeal to the spirit residing in Yggdrasil, she can easily adjust the effects!”

Guided by Aileron’s words, we arrived at the tea fields in the elven forest.

...In the end, she made this by transplanting tea tree saplings from the farm without my permission.

Aileron always reveals her kleptomania when I’m not looking.

“Here is the spirit of the Yggdrasil tea, produced by the elves.”

Introduced to us is a young woman, oddly dressed as a tea picker.

She dons a kimono and a kerchief to complete the look.

Despite the different cultures in this other world, I guess it’s fine if a spirit does it?

“Do you want this green tea? Or perhaps the red tea?”

Don’t ask me like it’s a choice between a golden axe and a silver one.

“I have heard your wish. As a spirit, it’s a pity if people don’t consume the mature tea leaves. It seems my efforts to make it drinkable by as many people as possible have ironically become a hindrance.”

It helps that she already understands the situation.

Now, onto the main question: can the quality of the harvested Yggdrasil be degraded to have less potent effects?

“I shall comply with your requests. From now on, my tea leaves will be just like regular tea leaves from other regions, with the same effects.”

“Ohh!”

“Just like regular tea, they provide vitamins and have a stimulating effect due to caffeine. They also regulate cholesterol and blood sugar levels and have antioxidant, anti-allergic, anti-cancer, and anti-aging effects due to catechins. They also have antibacterial effects, induce relaxation, act as a diuretic, and help burn and decrease subcutaneous fat. Please rest assured.”

... 

Hearing that explanation, it’s kind of scary how many effects tea has.

Anyway, Yggdrasil tea leaves lost their dangerous properties and began to circulate internationally as normal tea leaves.

Then, what was the point of the elves’ year-long efforts, you ask? That question certainly comes to mind, but as they say, “Too much of anything is never good.” So please allow room for some adjustment.

If the power of tea, with its ample medicinal benefits even at a general level, could gradually improve the health status of the people in this world, there’s nothing more I could ask for.

* * *

As the tea promotion project led by the elves progressed, I received good news.

One after another.

“Letters...?!”

They were letters from the students who had just left the farm.

From Ritheseus, Eryngear, and many other students.

They had learned most of what they could at the farm and went to different places to put it to use in the world.

By now, they must be showcasing their abilities either in places they’ve been recognized or back in their hometowns. 

We could only dream from afar about their situations, but they themselves sent us updates so we wouldn’t have to just imagine.

I wonder how they’re doing since they returned home?

I hope they’re not sick or anything.

These letters would help provide us insight into their current situations.

I should read them together with Sensei.

There are various letters, but let’s start with the one Ritheseus sent.

As the most promising graduate from the farm, his post-graduation achievements must be equally impressive.

Without further ado, let’s begin reading his letter...

Let’s see...

“Lord Saint, we’re in trouble.” ...?!