#610 The Guardian Angels of Paradise

We made it through the first round!

Since this is a tournament, we can’t get carried away with just one win! Another battle awaits us!

Round Two!

Who else has survived one hard-fought battle?

“A moment, please.”

Pardon?

Who dares to stop us?

“You hurt yourselves in the first round, didn’t you? You need some medical attention to perform at your best. Allow me to cast a healing spell on you.”

Woah...!

I feel a green light envelop me, and not long after, all the pain in my body just vanished!

My aching back, twisted ankle, and other injuries that I suffered from my fight with Miss Batemy and Belena healed in a flash!

“I’m completely healed! Thank you, Lifeless King!”

“Good luck out there!”

I thank the mummy in the priest’s robe.

“That was incredible! They’re widespread in games, but this is my first time seeing healing magic in this world!” 

“The concept of healing magic didn’t originally exist, to begin with. For a Lifeless King to manipulate such a thing at will proves that his likes are beyond human intellect!”   

Selena and I talk as we walk.

“The fact that a Lifeless King is on standby as a medic is in itself astonishing. How did the Adventurer’s Guild get him to come?”

“They must’ve asked Lord Alexander. It wouldn’t come as a surprise to me if a Lifeless King or two dwelled in his dungeon.” 

Is this what they call a normalcy bias?

Anyway, thanks to Lifeless King’s healing magic, we’re in tip-top shape, as if we’d just gotten a full night’s rest!

Who will be our opponent in the second round?

* * *

“That’d be us.”

“Heyooo.”

Angels.

Our opponents in the second round are angels.

“We are the angels, Horkosfon and Songokufon. We will be participating in spreading the word about otherworldly pro wrestling. Our team name is Uriels.”

“Pleaseddddd ta meecha!”

Why are there angels participating in pro wrestlingggggggggggg?!

Angels? In pro wrestling?!

Has such a thing ever happened before?!

But aren’t angels supposed to be more... solemn and divine?

“Incidentally, we borrowed our team name from an angel who wrestled with a human in the legend Master told us. I thought it best suited to our situation today.”

“Haha, wowww! Is that so!!! That’s pretty well-thought-out! Ahaha!!!”

This isn’t the time to be replying like that!

Not even shounen mangas are outlandish enough to come up with a twist where you participate in a wrestling tournament and end up fighting angels!

No, before that...!

We go a long way back with one of the two angels before us. 

“You littleeeeee...!!!”

Selena raises a resentful voice that I normally don’t hear from her!

But I’m not surprised!

She must have also realized that we’re facing a fated opponent.

Our fates have intertwined with that petite angel. 

“You’re that sabotaging angel hanging around the Mountain of the Sacred White Maiden!”

“Hohhh?”

The Mountain of the Sacred White Maiden is the world’s largest dungeon, also ruled by the dragon, Lord Alexander!

As adventurers, Selena and I are working to conquer that dungeon!

We have gained experience, honed our skills, gathered ourselves a team of friends, and challenged ourselves to climb this perilous mountain dungeon.

We have tried many, many times.

Alas, we have never succeeded in reaching the summit.

Why?

Because that angel always gets in the way just when the summit is within our reach!

Angel Songokufon—our sworn enemy!!!

“But das a false accuzationnn...”

Shut up, we don’t want to hear you say that in your listless voice! 

“Am in Lord Alexander’s employ now, so is only natural I guard his dungeonnnn. S’all yer fault for intrudinggg.”

“Don’t make it seem like adventurers are burglars who target empty housessss!!!”

But... if you ask me to clarify the difference between the two, it’s hard to do...!

“Besides, you’re deliberately targeting us, aren’t you?! You always sabotage our plans when we’re just one step away from the summit!”

“Aw, das not trueee. S’just a coinkydinkkk. Maybe yer jus projectin’ yer negativity onto someone elseee?”  

“Huhhhhh?! The way you talk is really getting on my nerves!”

Anyway, we’ve been stuck trying to conquer that dungeon for the past few months, all because of that angel!

The very object of that grudge is right in front of us!

I was motivated from the start, but now my fighting spirit is even stronger!

“Momoko, I might overdo it in this match... If I’m about to cross a line I shouldn’t, please stop me...!”

Selena has also awakened to the surge of bloodlust!

Well, that’s understandable. Selena has climbed the Mountain of the Sacred White Maiden countless times with me!

And just before the summit, she was blown away by the bombardment of that blasted angel!

I understand her frustration! I was with her, after all!

“I won’t stop you, Selena...! Let’s jump over to the other side of this era together...!”

Partners are partners because they share the same feelings!

“You’ve really invited their queer bloodlust now, Songokufon. What kind of misdeeds have you been getting yourself involved in?” says the other, more mature angel.

If you’re chummy with that shortie, we won’t go easy on you either!

“Am not doin’ anythin’ wrong, just doin’ my besttt. S’only natural for dungeon guardians ta get rid of intruders, so is not justified for them to hold a grudgeee.”

“I feel there’s a deeper part to that story judging by how they resent you... Good grief. Normally, I’d be paired with Letasreit, but as it stands, she has another duty to fulfill. Teaming up with you was a poor choice of picking people on my part. “

“S’not pickin’ people, s’pickin’ angelsss. Use the proper terms, at leasttt.”

“... (snap).”

Huh? Now, she’s also getting annoyed?!

The other angel is also unable to suppress her annoyance at the arrogant attitude of the midget angel Songokufon!

“...Fair enough. I just have to make up for your worthless portion of the contribution. Master has instructed me to make the event a success. If Letasreit is also doing her best, I can’t afford to cut corners.”

?

The mature angel’s fighting spirit is rising!

It seems impossible to focus only on our revenge against Songokufon!

“I’ll be giving it my all. I’m going all out...!”

“...?!”

“I’ll teach you the wonders of natto!”

Ding!

As if to bring us back to reality, the bell rings.

At the same time, the mature angel takes a lump of sticky beans out from somewhere...!

“What’s that, rotten beans?! What is she going to do with that thing in a wrestling match? This makes no sense to me, even if it’s foul play!”

Selena is bamboozled by the unknown item the angel took out. 

But I know what that is!

After all, I’m a summoned otherworlder. I know what that is without the need for someone else to tell me.

That’s natto!

I never thought I’d come across natto in this world!

“Thaaaat? Againnn? Stop foolin’ round and be seriousss.”

“Silence. I’m always serious.”

“This is why yer always so nastyyy.”

Songokufon is dumbfounded by her tag team partner’s behavior.

“My mission at all times is to spread the word about natto! Even my first-round opponent ended up happily eating natto!”

“I thought ya were torturin’ them by forcin’ natto into their mouth while doin’ the cobra twist. The referee was puzzled and could not interfere coz even he dint know if it was against the rules or not.”

“I didn’t break any rules. I was merely breaking ground!” says the angel as she takes a fighting pose with natto in one hand. 

I shudder at the sight of her.

Why, you ask?

I came from another world and know about natto, so that doesn’t confuse me. 

But you see...

I HATE NATTO!!!

That’s not something humans should eat!!!

I never expected to come to another world and meet the bane of my existenceeee!!!

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breaking rules->breaking ground explanation: an attempt to carry over the pun horkosfon made in jp. she said 反則(foul play) and 販促(sales promotion), which are both read as 'han-soku'