v-rustl

#541 A Wandering Octopus

Added 2022-10-06 12:00:08 +0000 UTC

An octopus came to our farm.

It came out of nowhere for who knows what, but the fact is that the octopus is here.

And it’s not just any octopus. It’s ginormous.

I fear it could even sink an industrial ship if the octopus were to wrap itself around it.

Everyone panicked when the gigantic octopus crawled up to our shore.

Orkubo, Gobukichi, and other members who can fight gathered there, ready to intercept, but...!

“Howdy, Platy!!!”

“Krakky! I’ve missed you!!!”

It approached my wife.

Do they know each other, perhaps?

“Let me introduce you, Dear! This is Kraken, my best friend!”

“Pleased to make your acquaintance! I didn’t expect you to get married, Platy! I thought you’d be too strong for any man to handle!”

“Hey, just because we’re friends doesn’t mean you shouldn’t hold back on your words, you!”

“Sowwee!”

My wife seems close to the octopus.

I wonder if her being a mermaid means she gets to be friends with all sea critters?

I wouldn’t be surprised if she started dancing with a seabream and a flounder next.

But wait. Doesn’t Platy eat a lot of fish dishes?

Where do her boundaries lie?

“You see, Krakky may look like an octopus, but he’s actually a spirit! An elder spirit, in fact!”

“That said, I merely wander around the sea without any particular role. That was when I met Platy.”

My wife is friends with a giant octopus.

“Oh, those were the days... I had just dropped out of Mermaid Witch Academia and was enjoying my freedom. I was swimming around the ocean when I met you, and...!”

“We fought for three days and three nights and...!”

“Eventually formed an unbreakable bond after!”

That’s...a wild backstory.

“We hit it off and started hanging out everywhere...The two of us crossed the seven seas together...”

“In pursuit of a single treasure...”

“Anyway, it was a fun time. But what happened all of a sudden, Krakky? Did I tell you that I live on land now?”

“Nuh-uh! There was a lot of uproar back at the Dragon Emperor’s Castle the other day, remember? I heard all of it from my place.”

“Ahh, that.”

The dungeon-conquering competition held at Ardheg’s dungeon between the representatives of the three major races was a big event, and it seems rumors circulated throughout the sea.

Kraken found an old friend among the participants and came here.

“Aw, Krakky...You wanted to see me that badly?”

“Of course, Platy. We’re friends!”

And the octopus wriggles his eight tentacles.

But is it safe for an octopus to stay on the shore for such a long time?

Well, Platy did say he’s a spirit, so maybe he’s fine breathing on land.

“Ah, but to tell you the truth, now that we’ve met again, I have a small favor to ask of you.”

“Oh, what is it?”

“I heard on the way to find this place that your husband is an excellent cook.”

I suddenly became the topic of their conversation.

“Good? But hmm, tell you what, Dear’s dishes are exquisitely out of this world!”

I thought she would be humble about it, but Platy affirmed with all her might.

Was it just me, or was there a hint of boastfulness in her tone?

Well, I’m happy if I could be a source of pride for Platy.

“That’s good to hear. You see, I wanted you to introduce me to a good cook.”

“A cook? But why?”

Platy tilts her head.

“You’re an octopus, so don’t you just eat fish and shellfish as they are? You don’t need to cook them, right?”

Even though he’s a spirit, the octopus still consumes food.

Ah, but the earth spirits living with us do love to eat cake and ice cream.

“I know, but I have my reasons this time, so I’d appreciate it if you could help me out.”

The giant octopus, with a deep gleam in his beady eyes, says, “I want you to make me the best octopus dish in the world.”

“W-Wait...”

An octopus is requesting an octopus dish.

What’s the meaning of this?

Cannibalism?

Or is it a kind of self-sacrifice?

“Wait, listen to me first! The thing is, I have an eternal rival with whom I have been in conflict for a long time.”

“An eternal rival?”

Don’t tell me...

The one who stands on equal ground with the octopus is... a squid.

Is it a squid?!

“A crab.”

“Oh, a crab.”

The octopus is a crab’s natural enemy, but I hear that larger crab species can also prey on them.

I guess it’s a ‘you win some, you lose some’ kind of relationship.

“Desmask, the giant crab that lives in Manigol Cave, and I have been sworn enemies even before I met Platy. This time, he and I are fighting over the following topic...”

Which tastes better, crab or octopus?

Hearing this, I felt weak.

Does it mean their rivalry has boiled down to putting oneself on the receiving end of being eaten?

Is that how much they’ve fought each other?

“This is a match that puts my pride as an octopus on the line. I cannot be defeated by a crab, even when I’m being served on the table!”

But isn’t being eaten considered a defeat in the natural world...?

“As far as taste goes, aren’t crabs far superior?”

“Platy! You didn’t have to express such a delicate thought in words!”

Though...

Crabs are indeed a luxury good, even if octopi might find it hard to admit.

Depending on the type and size, the price can exceed 10,000 yen for one crab. It can be turned into soup stock or even served raw.

It is no exaggeration to say that the crab is the king of seafood.

In comparison, the octopus...

Personally, I find it tasty, but in some areas, octopus is called devilfish and treated like cheap seafood.

If octopi were to compete for survival, it’s evident that they wouldn’t be able to compete in terms of quality as a food item.

I mean, come on. Crabs are delicious!

Say it with me!

Crabs. Are. Delicious!

“That’s why I came to you for advice! I may not be able to compete with Desmask on my own, but with a little ingenuity, we octopi may be able to surpass the taste of crabs! Humans have that kind of skill, don’t they? You call it cooking!”

Kraken talks about cooking as if it were some secret assassination technique.

“You’ve always been smart, Platy, so I’m sure you know a thing or two! And you have a husband who is a great cook! Please, I beg you! Help an old pal?”

“Sure.”

A quick answer?!

“This is my chance to show you how great Dear is! I’ll remind people time and again that nothing is impossible for him.”

“Bab!”

Junior, who’s in Platy’s arms this whole time, claps his tiny hands in approval.

I can’t stand idly when my beloved wife and son trust me that much.

Very well! Let’s get to cooking and whip up an otherworldly octopus dish!

“Wait here. I’ll bring the ingredients.”

“Hooray, Dear!”

I had already decided what to cook.

I prepare the sausages.

I always keep some leftover boar meat to preserve.