#388 Babel’s Tower of the Sun

#388 Babel’s Tower of the Sun

I am Apollo, the sun god and one of the most beloved sons of Zeus, the apex of the celestial gods.

Mine own father will not be released from imprisonment for the next three hundred million years due to a certain blunder.

In the meantime, it is up to me to rule the skies in his stead.

From the very beginning, mine own sister Artemis and I have been in charge of managing the heavens.

I will tranquilly fulfill mine own duty until Father is released!

For that reason, I must develop a new witty one-liner!

As well as being in charge of the sun and the daytime celestial operations, I am also the god of art and culture.

And speaking of art and culture, do both of those not include comedy?

That is why I have been working day and night to develop the perfect gag that will send everyone in heaven, earth, and sea into a burst of laughter!

Perfecting mine own gag will also shut up Artemis, the moon goddess, from telling me mine own jokes art lame! 

But it was on such a day when I was working assiduously that...

***

The earth seemed clamorous, I thought to mine ownself.

Mine own culture radar is going off.

I look to see what is going on and find it to be quite lively.

Is there an event?

All the people art gathered in one place, making merry.

As the god of art, I cannot help but be intrigued by this kind of atmosphere.

I wonder if it is a cultural gathering sophisticated enough to be worthy of mine own time?

Or so I thought, but upon closer inspection, I was disappointed.

It is an event done by the demons.

The race created by Uncle Hades art outside mine own jurisdiction.

In other words, they art not worth worrying about.

Besides, Father was imprisoned because the human race that he created was defeated by the demon race.

In light of that, you could say I have a grudge against them.

I may be interested in cultural gatherings, but if they art hosted by the demons, I might as well ignore them.

One can cry out loud that there is nothing more pitiable than a cultural gathering disregarded by the god of art!

...?

What is that over yonder?

Something is being built in a certain section of the demons’ little event.

Is it not too late to build something when the event is already being held? 

What art they building, even?

A tower? 

Mayhaps.

I remember Father saying humanity building towers is a bad sign and must be watched over.

This is when the God Manual that Father Zeus gave me comes into play!

It contains a wealth of detailed information on 666 ways of punishing mankind when they get too cocky!

I have heard veteran gods from other worlds have written down their actual experiences, so it is exceptionally reliable!

Mine own father had given me this manual to mess with humanity if things go south!

I search for the word “tower” in the index. 

Ta, te, ti, to, to, to, to...!

There it is!

It is on page 49,572.

[The intentions and purposes of humanity when they began to build towers.]

Okay... What does it say next?

[The building of towers is evidence of humanity’s hubris. It is the desire of man to build taller structures to climb higher than the gods.]

What?!

I was not aware there was such a horrible meaning behind it!

Thinking about it now, the demons defeated the humans and became the rulers of the earth.

And then, there are the celestial gods, who have been manipulating the human race behind the scenes, so it is only logical they want to challenge us.

Is that why the tower is a means of ascending to heaven?!

This is a serious affair!

As Father’s proxy, I must take countermeasures!

What should I do?

Let us consult the God Manual once more!

[What to do when mankind starts building towers (example)]

Oh?

[Mess up their language to void communication. That way, they won’t be able to cooperate and dare build towers again.]

Eek!

Scary!

What horrible things this manual has!

I bet whoever wrote this must have been evil!

This method is too sinister!

As a bright and cheerful sun god, I would like to deal with this in a more peaceful manner.

I’m also the god of culture, so I also want a more sophisticated and vivid judgment.

Hmm, what to do?

Perhaps it was because I was so absorbed in mine own worries that I neglected to pay attention to mine own footing and...

Slipped.

“Ah-”

And the place where I fell was a bad spot.

Because I was on the edge of the clouds, our territory...

I fell and went straight to the ground.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!”

The realm of the celestial gods is high in the sky.

So if you miss your footing, the place you will fall to is...

Correct. The earth.

***

(Still falling)

***

Rumbleeeeeeeeeee.

It seems I have fallen all the way to the earth’s surface.

“Ow...”

It has been a long time since I have done this.

In the past, other celestial gods used to fall from the heavens like this. Mine own father would deliberately say, “Oh, mine own foot slipped,” and would have more mistresses and children upon his return.

After the pact was signed, such excuses were no longer acceptable, so our carelessness remarkably reduced.

Anyhow, I look around calmly and realize...

Am I not atop of the tower in question?!

Oh, and!

The demons gathered in this event art all looking at me!

This is like...

A full house just for me!

The demons, on the other hand...

“What’s that?”

“Is that... a god?!”

“That must be Apollo, the sun god, the most glorious of the celestial gods...!”

“Why would a celestial god be at a demon expo?”

“A god has descended!”

Oh no, the audience is confused.

The quality of a real comedian is to provide the audience with laughter and excitement and not give them a dull moment.

As the god of culture and art, I must do mine own best to liven up this place!

Okay, now is mine own chance to practice mine own new joke at the next round-table talk with the gods!

A full-blown, laugh-out-loud joke!

I cross mine own arms in a downward position and then...

“Whoo-hee!”

I raise mine own arms in the air.

Right arm, left arm, both arms diagonally upward!

“Yay!”

How was that?!

The shape of mine own arms and torso looks like the letter Y, and chanting “yay” makes it an advanced gag!

It is so advanced even gods do not appreciate it, but can the mortals?

Clap, clap, clap!

“A deity descent!”

“A god is blessing this expo!”

“It doesn’t matter if it’s a celestial god or an earth god.”

“Thank you, Apollo. Thank you...!”

They like itttttttttttt!!!

Oh, I am so thrilled!

If I did this in front of the gods, Artemis would have told me to kill mine ownself for presenting a lame joke!

How understanding mortals art! What culturally advanced creatures!

Or maybe it is because they art demons created by Uncle Hades?

It no longer matters what race they art from!

“We, the celestial gods, bless and protect all human beings regardless of race.”

“Ohhh!”

Yes.

There is no reason for people who understand each other’s culture to fight.

This world is now united through gags!