Yuumei

Work in Progress: Reflections of Me

Added 2024-07-31 04:10:36 +0000 UTC

This one is a bit personal. It's about all the comments my family has made on my appearance while growing up, saying stuff like I'm not beautiful enough, that I need plastic surgery, and such.

Being Chinese, my culture has some very toxic beauty standards. My parents would point out how my eyes are monolid and want me to get surgery to make them double lid.

They would also point out other parts of me, from my nose, the shape of my face, to how tall I am, everything needed improvement, nothing was good enough. It ruined my self esteem and for a long time. I was afraid of being photographed, because then they'll have evidence of how ugly I am.

I've long since gotten therapy and cut off my abusive family (these comments about my appearance were the least of their crimes, but that's a story for another day). I'm very happy these days but I still think about this a lot, and when that happens, I draw it out. Putting it all on canvas helps me take control of what was done to me.

___

Close up of the eyes

earlier sketch