thedickshow

[AUDIO] Road Rage: Portland

Portland is what the entire world would be like if Dr. Seuss had written The Bible. Thank you to Myroom Records, the seven foot penis guys, MC MC, 80s Guy, Peach, Madcucks, Sean, Layc, Heather S, The Secret Society, that poor bastard at the Local Lounge having the worst karaoke night of his life, DIEGO, and Ben from The Drunken Peasants. 

Custom TP, Top Gay Staffs of Ra, Hard Dickels, Everything that they say about the strip clubs in Portland is true. 

Thank you all!!

2018-03-01 21:52:39 +0000 UTC View Post

Road Rage: Portland

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Portland is what the entire world would be like if Dr. Seuss had written The Bible. Thank you to Myroom Records, the seven foot penis guys, MC MC, 80s Guy, Peach, Madcucks, Sean, Layc, Heather S, The Secret Society, that poor bastard at the Local Lounge having the worst karaoke night of his life, DIEGO, and Ben from The Drunken Peasants. 

Custom TP, Top Gay Staffs of Ra, Hard Dickels, Eve...

Episode 91 - Dick on Road Rage: Portland

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Road Rage: Portland, planting the strip club seed, cops preventing crimes, 80s Guy loses his keys, the Portland Goss Bomb, women hiding your stuff, bathroom fans that are too quiet and the poop orchestra, Jane Walker Black, the future dystopia and the purchasing power of women, The Dick Show IQ Test, double doors, self-censorship, and getting my nipples pulled off; all tha...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 91 - Monday 4PM PST

7 foot penises. Hot pocket Goss. The Madcucks' gambit. Lost keys. A waffle eating contest. Portland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpVJ5JaYD10

[LIVESTREAM] Road Rage: Portland 9PM PST

This time I brought duck tape. Will the internet hold out?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmtgQlDnvjU

Episode 90 - Dick on The Dick Show Album

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The Dick Show Album is released and hits #1 in ALL CATEGORIES, I have an altercation with someone else's neighbors, The Maddox IQ Test story, catching your pocket on door handles, a new working lolsuit theory, my life-threatening whale T-shirt, Peach tells us how to identify a lesbian, The Winter Cuck Olympics, Madcucks news, school shootings are not news, Sean and I get i...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 90 - Sun 11AM PST

I'll be here talkin, unless Maddox's TEMPORARY RESTRAINING ORDER gets granted. Just filed. Read it and weep...from laughter, lolsuit.com 

See you mothereffers in Portland!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-ozmlFXqo0

[LIVESTREAM] Bonus Episode 21 - Thu 7PM PST

Did Nick cover everything?? Let's find out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1d2qBtmieyo

Episode 89 - Dick on Getting Caught

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People who ignore "The Zipper", the mystery of my broken toilet, Smiley my broken handyman, "My House" TV has turned me into a dog, Nick Rekieta calls in with some Hot Goss about Maddox's maybe two or three time DUI lawyer "Dog Bite" Kevin Landau, Asterios' Cernovich sex tape, an erotic story for Valentine's Day, Sean learns to ride a bicycle, The Skate Mate, being on The ...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 89 - Sun NOON PST

The show is going to start a little later because I'm calling in to THE MILO SHOW in the morning. Hehe.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oWAgZv30KDE

Episode 88 - Dick on Blue Balls

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The bikini chicks from Ivan "Ironman" Stewart's Super Off-Road, Western Feminism intersects with Islamic Fundamentalism, eSports "practice", the "fake because", April O'Neil, the endless blue balls of waiting on a single computer part, forgetting your wallet, Jordan Petersen is Al Bundy with statistics, the time I smuggled weed into Belgium, people who see each other drivi...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 88 SATURDAY 11AM PST

Everyone's going to be watching THE BIG GAME on Sunday--because no one can say "Super Bowl" for some fucking reason so we all have to say "Big Game" and listen to "Big Game" on the radio for commercials about big screen TV sales like stupid morons, like we're on the intro of Rosanne drinking BEER, and GRAPE, and SODA. Go check it out. Dan's Budweiser can says "Beer" in italics. So we're recording on Saturday.

I bet the XFL will let everyone say the name of whatever their big game is.

2018-02-02 01:13:49 +0000 UTC View Post

Episode 87 - Dick on The Ultimate Douchebag Machine

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The Ultimate Douchebag Machine, Acting!, Small Time Tyrants, Dexter meets The Gimp, Coach is pregnant, a mob of angry Q's from Google target Nick Rekieta, what Lettuce Jones missed the most in jail, where bastards come from, The 2018 "Be More F*ck-able" Challenge, body cameras and my PR campaign for the police, watching children float out to sea, sex with Smeagol, the buyi...

[VIDEO] Bonus Episode 20 - Dick on Big Fouls

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Pooping in Lederhosen, the curse of never-ending stamina, not-level advice on prostitution, the loneliest Dickhead, Matty P and salsa jars are too high, adblockers and spite, people who shout at dogs, academic affirmative action, slow gas pumps, the Jesus of Lawsuits, and the full uncut audio from episode 17 of The ...

[AUDIO] Bonus Episode 20 - Dick on Big Fouls

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Pooping in Lederhosen, the curse of never-ending stamina, not-level advice on prostitution, the loneliest Dickhead, Matty P and salsa jars are too high, adblockers and spite, people who shout at dogs, academic affirmative action, slow gas pumps, the Jesus of Lawsuits, and the full uncut audio from episode 17 of The Biggest Problem in the Universe; all that and more on this bonus episode of The...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 87 Sun 11AM

Dickel-mania is sweeping the Internet. Nick's calling in because he pissed off Google, Madcucks is calling in. Lettuce Jones is calling in?

Sun 11AM PST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LxxiBzK-XXo

[LIVESTREAM] Bonus Episode 20 - Thu 8:30PM PST

It's time for some late-night goofy Dickness with Sean the Audio Engineer and your pal the 20 Million Dollar Man. Shitty inventions, your rages, and I think I'll play the uncut Episode 17 audio that changed the world as we know it--you know the one!

Any stories I missed? Pop it into the comments below or be on the stream and I'll get to it, my Dickel-ings! It's hard to believe, but this show now has more bonus episodes than the old one. Here's to another 20!

2018-01-25 00:43:53 +0000 UTC View Post

Episode 86 - Dick on Dickels

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Yoga pants vs. bustles, NSFW: a pitch for the mutually beneficial segregation of men and women, "Content" ruined the Internet, man's endless quest to escape the bastards, "Steven Universe" is degenerate, The Women's March, oddguy from Encyclopedia Dramatica calls in with a lolsuit of their own, a school shooting gone wrong, my erotic pallet of familial Jungian archetypes, ...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 86 - Sun Noon PST

EZ PZ calling in. Madcucks...maybe. Many different types of news. I'll be talking about bras and school.

Also Dickels will be given out IN STREAM--provided I can get this fucking blockchain to sync...

Sunday Noon PST!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qHUl2yz8Xvo

Episode 85 - Dick on Do-Overs

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Attention Patreonis: ROAD RAGE: PORTLAND tickets are now on sale!!

BUY TICKETS 

Use promo code: TDSPORTLAND

Katt Williams chews out Asterios for his $600 invoice, "The Fountainhead" and making furniture with...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 85 - Sun 11AM PST

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Whose book failed so he said, "F*ck it."
He sued everyone
Under the sun
Til his case was so weak he could cuck it!

Also Rups is comin in. Wow!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytttFLW4kkg

Episode 84 - Dick on Nuttin'

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Weed should be illegal again, Count Dankula calls in with a fuckery update, Denzel nuts, Nick Rekieta goes over Asterios' lolsuit defense and defines defaming, Scotland brings the dumbest asshole in the world out of retirement, The Dick Show Album draws near, Sergio and Brunette Peach send in the world's wiggliest dildo, Road Rage: Portland is confirmed, I fix Dredd in a n...

Dicktation - Dredd

Grab your nearest gun and/or toilet lid, put on your frowniest face, and get ready to ponder the ambiguities of heroic fascism as Coach, Jamie Lynn Hughes and I watch Dredd; the story of one man's fight to enforce the laws of logical fallacies across the mean streets of Mega City One.

Special thanks to Andy Lee for the thumbnail that Sean is lying about not being turned on by, and Coach and 2018-01-09 01:24:19 +0000 UTC View Post

[LIVESTREAM] Ep 84 - Sun 11AM PST

Leaks are popping up faster than they were ON THE TITANIC. What did Sean say about me that allowed Maddox to continue working with him? What audio does Asterios not want played? Count Dankula and his Nazi pug calls in with the most frustrating update in the universe. The Dick Show 2018: Be More Fuckable Contest. A very special Road Rage: Portland, and, if your mom's birthday is very close to Christmas, how cheap of a present can I get away with buying and not be an asshole? What's the deal here?...

Episode 83 - Dick on Policing Language

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#NotMyShower, Policing Language of Dehumanization, The Waut3rgate Leaks: Part II, unbelievable loading spinners, Maddox's Christmas Lights, 10-round magazines, exact change, manipulative popups, a reimagining of Aessop's Fables, Don't Walk Away...Run, "hehe", how to navigate the Hershey Highway, megalomania, destroying small businesses, and Dickles; all that and more this ...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 83 - Monday 1PM PST

Monday 1PM PST

Get your predictions for 2018 in while they're hot and always keep an "I told you so" in your back pocket. We're going to have a year of new books, new live shows, new albums, new heroes, new villains, the end of lolsuits and lawsuits, and the beginning of new memes and dreams...it's going to be one hell of a year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HqA4h9FBQA

Dicktation - First Blood (Rambo)

Watch and listen--and hell even chat along, with Madcucks and myself as we watch the story of Rambo: First Triggering; the story of a guy who went to Vietnam and then when he got back, too many people corrected him about the title of his movie not being "Rambo" and actually being "First Blood", so he kicked the shit out of them. We get it. Fuck you.

Special thanks to Andy Lee for this P-T-S-Delightful thumbn...

Episode 82 - Dick on Number Three in Space

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The Yawn Police, post-seasonal regret, I get served again, lies on Tinder, getting to first base with an alien, universal habitat for humanity, how to handle your gentleman's sausage in space, how to have sex in space suits, Antarctica's semen policy, sour grapes, Madcucks' invoice, Asterios' new lolsuit, and ordering oatmeal at a fancy restaurant; all that and more this w...

[LIVESTREAM] Episode 82 - Thursday 8 PM PST

UPDATE: Rocket Man caught in meteor shower. Show starts at 8PM.

Rocket Man will be in studio--unless he has to go to INTO SPACE. Gimme your space questions.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz3EjVyghQs

[VIDEO] Bonus Episode 19 - Dick on Fans and Scrilla

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Snooping through other people's phones, I have become a noodle man, fruit flies, nose hairs, shitty after-market controllers, my ten-year, pants-shitting banjo bet, terrible 20-something innovations, working out and throwing up, Rocket Man gets kicked out of Barney's Beanery, makeup, and the time Maddox sent me an e...