Kelly McCullough

Monday Meows

Birb, birb, birb…

Excuse me?

BIRB IS THE WIRB!

Oh, well that explains it then.

It absolutely does not!

2024-03-11 11:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post

Monday Meows

Look what I just coughed up.

*horking noises*

That looks AWFUL.

This is why you should not lick the other cats.

I dunno, I've...

Whispering Blade Chapter 15

#15# 

Nota Bene: Patreon has broken italics, so I'm now denoting italics with an underline, my apologies for the inconvenience.

They come in the darkness and they carry us whither they will. Untamable. Unrelenting. Unreal? Night's mare is the merger of dream and shadow. Mine found me in the dim cave of my room and bore me willy-nilly across the plains that lie between Hove and the Wastes and there it threw me, and I fell out of the world into...

Quick Note

Hi folks, I have only just discovered that Patreon's recent updates have utterly broken italics. This is, of course, a major problem for the Blade chapters as italics are the way I denote mind speech. I wanted to A) apologize for the inconvenience for you all, and B) check and see whether you just want to ride it out on older posts for now, or if I should craft a work around. I have been doing this long enough that I learned how to do manuscripts in traditional typewriter format, and back in ...

Monday Meows

No shit, there I was…

What are you is?

Day drinkers, I think.

I suppose it takes all kinds, but personally I prefer cord noming.

<...

Monday Meows

Wherever we go…

Whatever we do…

We're gonna go through it…

TOGETHER!

Wait, what the hell was that?

2024-02-19 12:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post

Swine Prince bonus chapter for February

#Gnome Man's Land#

Hal couldn't help but notice how absolutely black it was in the cave, and how very painful. I've never been in a cave that hurt quite this much before, he thought as something like awareness slowly returned to him. A moment later, memory followed it. He'd been outside a stone door preparing to enter when the assassins attacked with arrows. They'd hit him twice in the leg and he had fallen, though he was a little uncertain on the order. After that, things got ...

Monday Meows

Wait, is that the sacred volcano of Lake Menomin?

The what now?

*flames waving* Hallloooo? Anybody home?

That is not okay.

I ...

Monday Meows

What the hell is that?

Winter comes to Avalon.

It's no basis for a system of government.

You take that back!

Rule by Tortie. ...

Whispering Blade Chapter 14

#14#

The human soul is a maze full of dead ends, weird twists, black pits, and surprising turns. Just when you're pretty sure you know where you are and where you need to go, you find yourself at a sudden fork that you could never have seen ten steps back.

That's how I felt as I sat on a low bench and looked down at the sweating pain-wracked face of a man who bad been the best friend of my childhood and one of the worst enemies of my adult years. Faran had done ev...

Monday Meows

I am having the hardest time communicating with these guys…

Do you wanna tell him?

Too easy.

Pick me! I'll do it.

Monday Meows

OMFSM!

What

is

That?

What? You've never seen a guy vitamin C loading before?

2024-01-23 01:59:01 +0000 UTC View Post

Monday Meows

We were told there would be snacks.

How about pettin's?

I can work with that.

Pettin's are the best!

It'll do.

2024-01-15 13:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post

Mid-month Bonus Chapter of Swine Prince

#Just Deserts#

"Another sandstorm," Hal spat into the rising wind. "Just what we need. Thank you, Azifir."

Tasha raised an eyebrow at him as if to say, "What did you expect?"

"I know he's the god of sandstorms and all that," said Hal. "Teeth of the Desert, Scourge of the Unbeliever, He Who Must Not Be Angered, etc. etc. etc., but does he have to keep dropping the stuff on our heads day after day after day. All we did was violate his temple a little bit and steal a few things...

Monday Meows

Paint me like your French cats, Jeeves!

You are the strangest little cat.

Yeah, he's a weirdie!

Says the tortie I caught doing this the other day.

2024-01-08 13:00:01 +0000 UTC View Post

Whispering Blade Chapter 13

#13#

We are all shadows on the cave wall—the dark and flawed outlines of our ideal selves—or so the philosophers say. I don't know if that's true, or if it's just a whimsy that caught my attention because of the framing device. I do know that my life has always been a game of shadows played for life and death stakes with the fate of kings riding on a toss of the dice, and the past and the future both shrouded in different sorts of darkness.

In the moment, my p...

Monday Meows

Ah man, it's empty

I have no clue how that could have happened.

He's lying!

Like dis?

Is all good now, this bowl is full of m...

Monday Meows

Mmm, taste the rainbow!

I like rainbows!

Dude, that's your face you're tasting.

Mmmm, taste the face…

Monday Meows

This box has no door!

You'd think he was kidding, but no.

It's sad really.

Yeah…super sad. Wake me if he gets out.

...........

Continuing with the Swine Prince Bonus Chapters

#Shagreen#

Their reluctant guide led them down yet another long hall cut from the living rock to a small winding stairway. They took this down a flight and pushed through the door at the first landing. To no one's great surprise it opened into a stone hallway, this one whitewashed and rather drab. Two hundred feet or so later they came abreast of a small unmarked wooden door set into the left side of the corridor.

"Not very impressive for a treasury door," said Truffles.

The...

Monday Meows

Do you see what the neighbors are doing?

Does it look like this?

Ewwwwwwwww!

Chill my dude, some of us aren't quite so…inhibited.

...

Monday Meows

What, no! Why would you think we were up to something?

Because I've met you?

Nope. Complete innocence here. Right?

Uhhhh, yeah, innocence, that's the ticket. Nothing to see here.

2023-12-04 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post

Whispering Blade Chapter 12

#12#

I am a story written in skin with ink distilled from the crushed seeds of choice and incident. In and of itself there is nothing about this that makes my tale different from a thousand and one of my fellows. It is only when you start to look at the specifics that you arrive in the moment where a man whose familiar is a god tells you that you are no longer human.

"What does that even mean?" I asked.

Udar smiled and shrugged. "Ultimately, the only one who...

Monday Meows

I gotta cut loose, footloose

Everybody cut footloose

You have got to be kidding me.

You can fly if you'd only cut loose, footloose

<...

Lost Blades Final Draft

Hi folks, this is the going to the agent draft.

Monday Meows

Pardon me, I'm late for class, can you let me into the building?

What in the everloving name of Bast is that?

Don't know. Don't want to know.

Y'all are overreacting. It's a perfect dear.

2023-11-20 12:59:00 +0000 UTC View Post

The Next Swine Prince Bonus Chapter

#Underpriest under foot#

The guardroom held all the things one would expect to find in any dungeon guardroom—keys, whips, shackles, decks of cards, etc. It also held some things more specific to this particular dungeon. To whit, a number of large kegs full of resin or salt and a bucket for mixing the two. Really, the only thing missing from the picture was the guards.

Rather than spending a lot of time worrying about the guard dog that didn't bite in the night Tasha sent up a sm...

Monday Meows

I spy with my little eye…someone making terrible decisions.

He is going to get such a smacking.

Hmph! …………………OTOH, they weren't wrong.

Monday Meows

Just hanging out. I didn't even notice the interloper there.

I don't think this is the mean one…

You know, maybe I'll just leave well enough alone.

It was only Oddgrr, he's…nice…I suppose.

2023-11-06 12:59:00 +0000 UTC View Post

Whispering Blade Chapter 11

#11#

Memory is a dream of the past, all blurred edges and yawning voids between moments of clarity. We think we remember what occurred, but it's an illusion, sense made from a series of events that may or may not have happened in the way they play out before the mind's eye. Ask three people about an important experience they lived together and you will get three different stories. Even if they remember the incident in the same way, each emphasizes different details and ...