One Line from a Future Comic Taken Totally out of Context
In truth, I have no problem with the tuba, or with those who play the tuba. I would like for those who play the tuba to consider me a friend, if only because they tend to have great upper-body strength and lung capacity, meaning that they could probably deliver a serious beating for a prolonged period of time.
I have picked on both the tuba and the trombone. I don't know why. Maybe, on a subconscious level, I have it in for the brass section. I played the trumpet for a few years back in...
2022-08-15 08:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Missy here again, with my final post about these books. I've just turned on the listings for all of our remaining non-Magic books. Quantities are very limited. Here's what's available:
Help Is on the Way (Basic Instructions): 4 c...
2022-08-08 23:27:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Sadly, the smile-detecting camera is not a figment of my imagination.
I understand the use-case for the camera. In all of the photos of my brothers and I when we were growing up, we all look disgruntled. It’s not that mom chose to document moments when we were unhappy. She chose happy moments, and the process of posing the photo made us unhappy. See, my b...
2022-08-08 08:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Greetings, Scott's Patrons! Missy here again.
You ever have one of those head-smacking moments where you realize you're making things WAY too hard on yourself? Yeah. It occurred to me that I can skip over all of the messaging and invoicing and back-and-forth, and just list these signed books of Scott's over on my own online shop!
So, here we go! I've jus...
2022-08-05 23:51:13 +0000 UTC View Post
Edit: all 10 of these sets are claimed, thank you! I'll be posting offers for individual copies in the near future.
Hello, Scott's patrons; Missy here! I'm clearing out some boxes, and have come across quite a few copies of the first three Basic Instructions books: Help Is on the Way, Made with 90% Recycled Art, and The Curse of...
2022-08-04 18:11:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Unsurprisingly, this one is based on an actual conversation Ric and I had, about how much we enjoyed Star Trek: Strange New Worlds. We both particularly like how they handle the Gorn, but agree that setting them up as being so thoroughly terrifying will make it awkward on a later series, when a Gorn is the new weapons officer or something.
Some of you may be scoffing, but think about it.
On the original series, the big-bad was the Klingons.
In Next Gen, a Klingon was on the ...
2022-08-01 08:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
I tried a new deodorant and discovered that it smelled like far worse BO than any I’ve ever had. I did ask Missy to smell it, and she agreed with me, then cursed me for inflicting that odor on her.
I thought about it and have decided not to call out the brand and scent in question. I’m not worried about any legal repercussions; I just don’t want to deny any of you the thrill of discovery. Buying men’s scented grooming products is a form of gambling. If you lose you smell bad for...
2022-07-25 08:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Half of the real Ric and my conversations consist of us picking apart things we both claim to enjoy. It's good we have each other to vent this stuff at. I'm sure Missy's happy to have someone else share the load, and not many people appreciate that particular type of fandom.
Ric tells me that the staff members at his local comics shop don't seem as happy to see him as they once were. They were talking one day about the film, The Batman. Ric shared his opinion, that it is basica...
2022-07-18 08:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post
I was a barista in the early 90s, in Seattle. That sounds like it should mean something, but it doesn't. I wasn't very good at it. I once talked to my boss about pursuing further training on the exquisite art of pulling shots, but her position was that it wasn't needed, because she already showed me how to "run the machine."
That said, I wasn't interested enough to go get the training on my own dime, so what does that tell you.
Now you can spend hours watching instructional videos...
2022-07-11 08:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
It's true. I have a VR headset, because I am a sci-fi author and it seemed like valid research (And I wanted to pleay Star Trek: Bridge Crew with my brothers). I have watched several movies in my VR headset. There are a few different programs that create realistic movie theaters in which to sit and watch either streaming content, or files you have on your hard drive. The resolution isn't exactly 4k, but then again, I mostly watch old movies I didn't get to see in the theater when I was a kid....
2022-07-04 08:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Yes, I love coffee.
No, I've never had Kopi Luwak.
No, I definitely do not want some. The idea does not appeal to me in the first place, and my understanding is that the industry that has sprung up to supply it is not exactly "cruelty free." Also, one stage of the harvesting process looks disturbingly like a Payday bar, which I find disturbing.
Palm Civets, however, 2022-06-27 08:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
These are actual entries from my old idea files. The Impala conversation did occur, and I don’t remember who with. The phrase “Land Squid” appears in the notes, entirely by itself, with no explanation whatsoever. And I do, in fact, believe that the surrealist painter René Magritte really hated painting faces, and made a career out of finding ways to weasel out of it whenever he could.
2022-06-20 08:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
This is partially fictionalized, in that I had Rick and I each have a movie that made us mad, while in real life it was I who was irritated by both movies, for the reasons enumerated in the comic.
I really did complain at the end of In The Heart of the Sea, because they didn't show Thor and Spider-Man even DISCUSSING drinking pee, let alone doing it. I really did feel robbed.
I am capable of being both petty and gross.
Of course, when deciding who should get the complaint th...
2022-06-13 08:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Yeah, there was a mix-up with the running order of the comics, and this one is taken out of context from a comic you've already seen. Sorry about that.
2022-06-09 08:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
The dialog in panel two is, almost verbatim, a conversation the real Ric and I had. I was joking, of course. I listen to some jazz, but not the steady diet Ric subjects himself to. Downbeat is a real magazine, and Ric is a subscriber, partly because he loves jazz, and partly because he finds it "hilariously depressing." So you see, I have not exaggerated his personality.
Also, for the record, the real Missy joined Mensa as a goof, and used to enjoy pointing out the spelling and punc...
Norm Macdonald had a theory (E-I-E-I-O). He felt that the setup and punchline of the perfect joke would be identical, literally just the same sentence repeated twice. He never managed to write that joke. The closest he ever got was a joke he did for Weekend Update on Saturday Night live. I went something like, "Julia Roberts filed for divorce from Lyle Lovett. When asked why, she said she realized that she is Julia Roberts, and that she was married to Lyle Lovett."
I bring this up becau...
2022-05-30 08:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Swoop is all too real.
This is the first appearance of the newly-aged Rick. I don't know if this art will be the final version. In panel four he looks a little too much like Seth Green.
It seems Ric wears that sweater every day, even in the summer, as his workplace is drafty. That's the difference between him still living in Seattle, and me living in Phoenix. Most days, when I need to take photos for a new drawing, ...
2022-05-23 08:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Just a patrons-only feature I'm running as an experiment. What do you think?
2022-05-19 08:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post