Splat. My body bounced off taste buds slick with saliva. The room shuddered in pleasure because this dungeon could taste us. I had one life left, and was positive the dungeon wanted to finish its meal.
I was now in the dungeon’s holding tank, waiting for the rest of the party to wipe or succeed and leave without me. Respawning wasn’t painful, exactly, but I felt distant. Removed from the world. And as my senses and thoughts returned, I was more demoralized than ever.
I'd died ...
2025-07-06 18:11:01 +0000 UTC
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"Tandy, a little help with these?" Meredeath was ineffectively trying to carve up one of my old shirts with her dagger.
Digging through her pack furtively, Tandy pulled out a legendary item I never thought would leave her studio.
"Is that your fabric scissors?!" I scrambled forward to get a better look. I'd heard the story. Leo had borrowed her scissors to go mushroom hunting. The two wouldn't speak to each other for a month after the tongue-lashing Tandy gave him.
Looking a...
2025-07-03 18:11:01 +0000 UTC
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NEW ACHIEVEMENT!
You’ve helped blow past our 30 Follower goal in this first week on Royal Road. A poll will be open after Chapter 18, giving you options on a bonus chapter to be published next week. Some options may have interesting ramifications for our characters down the line.
Poll ends July 4th!
2025-07-02 20:10:27 +0000 UTC
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One might ask how I ended up back between Meredeath's thighs so soon.
"How much time's on our dungeon timer?" Meredeath asked as she used a dagger to cut at the glue pinning Leo to the ceiling. Richard’s glue hadn't mixed well with the dungeon's saliva.
The only person who could reach Leo was Meredeath, sitting on my shoulders.
I brought up the text, "It says 10 hours."
"Not long enough," Tandy was working on Richard, who was also glued to the floor.
I stumble...
2025-07-01 18:11:02 +0000 UTC
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Cole – The Reluctant Hero
Meet Richard: ‘immortal’ banana slug, emotional terrorist, dungeon life coach… Then there’s Cole. He just wants to survive. Richard has goals. Neither of them is optimistic.
In a world split between mundanes and adventurers, Cole rolled the worst specialization imaginable: [Self-Criticism]. One drunken mistake later, he’s conscripte...
2025-06-30 14:25:41 +0000 UTC
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July 18 - 20, 2025
Denver, Colorado
Grand Hyatt
https://litrpgcon.com/
Come meet MJ Douglas/Reck Well and friends!
2025-06-30 14:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Okay, it's not that Meredeath's heavy, [Enlarge] is wearing off! Hurry!
The dungeon groaned as Richard slowly pulled Meredeath up its esophagus. It took everything in me to run towards the wet burps gurgling up.
Richard was just over the lip, uvula bobbing and tonsils twitching around him. The harness wrapped around him was oversized, and his usually vibrant yellow skin was muted with the strain.
The harness was an intricate masterwork that carefully distributed weight acro...
2025-06-29 18:11:01 +0000 UTC
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Runes began to glow on the top jaw of the dungeon. Energy gathered above our heads, whirling into a portal. I could see Leo, or rather his body in the void, falling towards us. A gruesome injury cut across his face and torso, splitting him almost in two.
His flesh and sinew knit together as he got closer to us, until he fell through the portal, smacking into the floor with a wet plop.
Leo bounced up to his full six-foot, bearded lumberjack self. Eyes wild, he crouched as though ex...
2025-06-28 18:11:01 +0000 UTC
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Tandy paced even in death.
Her footsteps sloshed on the dungeon's tongue as we waited for the rest of our party to die.
The dungeon mouth had been reset, and each root canal was returned to its original place.
Tandy muttered to herself, trying to determine what we'd done wrong. What could we do differently? Why wasn't the rest of the party dead yet?
I had the same thoughts, but had dipped into using my [Meditative State] skill to see the questions bubble up. And let...
2025-06-27 18:11:01 +0000 UTC
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To my horror, I swallowed the frothy sludge. The acid burned all the way down. Lungs on fire, I fought aspiration as my stomach roiled.
[You have been [Poisoned]. All health regeneration has stopped. If you already suffer a health debuff, you will lose an additional health point every thirty seconds.
Currently [Poisoned] stacks with [Acidified]. You lose two health points every thirty seconds.]
My health bar had already turned a brownish-red color due to my [Diseased] state,...
2025-06-26 18:11:02 +0000 UTC
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Gravity pulled Richard and me through the terminal hole, dumping us into free fall.
[Root canal defeated. You have earned experience. Further details and rewards will be aggregated and awarded upon [Trial Dungeon] completion.]
My “fuck you!!!” scream echoed in the dark cavern. A light source flared below, as I watched a foamy, acrid lake rapidly approach.
The smell of bile confirmed it. We were about to bathe in a lake of stomach acid.
Richard clung, as I held my ...
2025-06-25 19:14:22 +0000 UTC
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A discolored cuspid hit the ground with a splat, turning our attention away from Meredeath's disappearing form. It sank tooth first into the spongy floor of the dungeon.
The cuspid's roots morphed into legs only to wave frantically in the air. It looked like an overturned beetle unable to flip itself right side up. I watched in odd fascination.
I unclipped my hammer. The dark, charred ash handle’s familiarity in my hand was reassuring.
I ran forward. Bringing my hammer u...
2025-06-24 15:01:01 +0000 UTC
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"I hope all dungeons aren't this gross, or I will cut my adventuring career short. One of you needs to become a water mage. Either that, or we’ll need to invest in cleansing potions." Tandy had finally managed to get to her feet, but she was covered in slime. Her hair rose on the right like a giant dog had licked her.
"We need some crystal wash," Meredeath said, her elongated black fingernails poking at one of the molars.
"Whatever the hell that is." Tandy was irritated. "Are we...
2025-06-24 15:00:44 +0000 UTC
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"Tandy, just send her an invite." The more people we had fighting on our side in the dungeon, the better off we’d be.
But Tandy was being stubborn, "Why should we? I haven't seen one shred of evidence that she'd actually help us."
Meredeath's face darkened, something I didn't think possible.
Malyc saved me from making a complete fool of myself. "As the Adventurer's Guild's representative, I formally request that you add Meredeath to your party. I can vouch that she is dea...
2025-06-24 14:49:01 +0000 UTC
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"I like the heft of Ched's axe," Leo said as he swung the axe around. It sang in his hands, whistling as it cut the air.
I bet it's got a handling enchantment on it. It's a Rare [Enchanted Axe of Singing].
Richard's identifying skill was more useful than I thought. Tandy had been picking up the destroyed campground. It was a clear sign she was stuck in her head.
"Great job with [Tighten the Weave]. I'm glad it worked." I tested the waters, watching her response.
Tandy ...
2025-06-24 14:48:08 +0000 UTC
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I wasn't a genius at reading slug emotions, but the more Richard smiled at me, the less convinced I was that he'd survive his plan. It was a terrible plan. He'd made it to the spruce, and every couple of inches, he looked back with an attempt at a reassuring smile.
This wasn't what I wanted. To start my career as an [Adventurer] by running away. By killing my animal companion. Even if a slug wasn't ideal, he was still my slug.
"I think I can help. I have a skill that might make th...
2025-06-24 14:47:52 +0000 UTC
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Another branch cracked. I swung my head to the left, finally making out a human silhouette. Richard was coiled around the collar of my shirt, his head stretched forward as though he could pierce the darkness.
Got it. My [Identify] skill triggered. Do you know a guy named Ched?
I groaned, waving off Tandy and Leo with a whispered, "It's just Ched."
"Hey, sheep fuckers. Sounds like you finally noticed me." Ched walked closer to our ring of trees and stepped into the firelight....
2025-06-24 14:47:37 +0000 UTC
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“I’m not one to hold sheep hatred against a person, but it does seem a rather large leap to [Adventurer].” I knew my words were tinged with bitterness, with poison. But I was having difficulty letting go of the low probability we would survive the [Trial Dungeon].
The fire popped. Silence sat between us as darkness settled on our little camp. We sat beside each other, but not as close, with our backs to the wilderness. The trees loomed ominously in a way they never did when we wer...
2025-06-24 14:47:23 +0000 UTC
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A beefy hand wrapped around the lip of the hatch. Crap, I pulled at the latch and it didn't budge. We were screwed.
"Leo, is that you?" Tandy's shout echoed in my head. I should have recognized his voice, but it still felt like wool had been shoved between my ears.
Leo removed all doubt, however, when he yanked the hatch up. Thankfully, I still had my left arm firmly looped in a rung, or his enthusiasm would have flung me off the ladder. Above, my six-foot-tall, straw-haired giant...
2025-06-24 14:46:56 +0000 UTC
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You hard-headed son of a goat. When are you going to wake up?
Consciousness was both a blessing and a curse. Two tiny teeth pricked the side of my neck.
I know you're awake, idiot.
The problem was, I wasn't sure I was. Eyes open or closed, the view was the same. Darkness.
I remembered searching for Tandy and found her aggressive cloak. I flexed my hand, making sure it still worked. The shock had made me jerk, slamming my head into a rock.
A system indicator bli...
2025-06-24 14:46:39 +0000 UTC
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As a mundane person not in the town militia, my role was clear during the infrequent monster attacks. Evacuate to one of the preidentified fortified buildings scattered throughout the town. Then bunker down and wait out the attack. The fortified buildings also had weapons handy for distribution. We’d never had an attack in my lifetime such that we needed those weapons, but I’d heard stories.
All [Adventurers], local or passing through, were expected to join the town's defense. Betwe...
2025-06-24 14:46:22 +0000 UTC
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The mallard was the size of a goose. Green, shimmering head feathers surrounded two beady, red, glowing eyes. Its bright yellow bill opened, revealing a line of serrated teeth.
Richard mentally shrieked, ducking behind my neck. A lot of good, he's going to be in a fight.
The bogquacker took a deep inhale. Instinctively, I thrust the pan between us, as the air rippled in front of the duck as it unleashed a [Quack Attack]. Au gratin went flying, as the sonic boom ricocheted off the ...
2025-06-24 14:45:55 +0000 UTC
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You're lucky we're already bonded.
"I'm sorry,” I said, immediately hating how whiny it sounded. I was apologizing to a slug. This was a new low.
A gentleman may have helped Richard out of the compost bin, but my stomach clenched at the thought. I didn’t want to add to my disgrace. Instead, I leaned against the sink, trying to face it all.
Two yellow tentacles breached the top of the bin. They waved in the air, almost sniffing before focusing on me. Inching forward, a ti...
2025-06-24 14:45:27 +0000 UTC
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Thank you for joining us at Topeka PRIDE! It was windy and hot, but we had a great time!
We'll see in in Denver in few weeks for LitRPG Con!
2025-06-23 20:32:10 +0000 UTC
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"You're late," Marta's words echoed painfully. I squinted at the head chef of the Ram's Horn, trying to formulate a reply. The drums hammering my skull from Leo’s drunken birthday bash didn’t help.
"At least I showed up?" was all I had.
Marta's stare bore judgmentally into my soul. I was busy trying to limit sensory inputs, focusing on the worn white tiles of the kitchen, instead of the smells of dinner. I put my stomach into a mental death grip to prevent a further escalatio...
2025-06-23 14:48:00 +0000 UTC
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Join us at Topeka PRIDE this Saturday June 21, 2025 at the Evergy Plaza located at 630 S Kansas Ave in Topeka from 6pm-10pm!
2025-06-16 16:59:50 +0000 UTC
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Despite the rain, Lawrence PRIDE was a success! Thanks to everyone who came out to see us!
2025-06-09 21:17:02 +0000 UTC
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It's time for LAWRENCE PRIDE 2025!!
Lawrence PRIDE is on Saturday, June 7, 2025, with a parade in Downtown Lawrence at 11:00 a.m. and a block party in South Park after the parade.
What to Expect:
* Parade along Mass Street
* Drag Performers
* Vendors featuring everything from crafts to delicious treats and PRIDE merch
*Meet author MJ Douglas/Reck Well!
2025-06-02 19:03:18 +0000 UTC
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Stumbling Up is loading…
Monsters? Yep. Magic? Of course. A sensitive banana slug sidekick named Richard? Don’t ask. Just read.
For fans of found family, underdog arcs, and hilarious system glitches, this is your next obsession. Stay tuned- the dungeon gates open this summer! www.losersguidetoprogression.com
2025-05-29 19:18:22 +0000 UTC
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Sat June 7 Lawrence Pride 11AM South Park in Lawrence KS
Sat June 27 Topeka Pride 6pm Evergy Plaza Topeka KS
July 18-20 Litrpgcon Denver
Sept 20 2025-05-20 17:04:09 +0000 UTC
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