On today's THE RALPH REPORT : We salute more heroes during the COVID-19 crisis! (helpmakemasks.org) Relive Ralph's punishing defeat on the 1993 TV game show, "Scrabble"! And, we pay tribute to the theme song of a TV show that only lasted SIX EPISODES on TV TUNES TUESDAY!
On today's MUNCHIN' MONDAY, we feed Eddie a "MYSTERY FOOD" to see if he can overcome his prejudices and enjoy a new taste treat!
2020-04-13 12:05:00 +0000 UTC View PostOn today's THE RALPH REPORT, it's time for "Holiday or Holi-nay"! Ziggy still sucks! Olivia reviews TROLLS: WORLD TOUR! And, on today's MUNCHIN' MONDAY, we feed Eddie a "MYSTERY FOOD" to see if he can overcome his prejudices and enjoy a new taste treat!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Steve Ashton checks in from the UK! The downside of being a ZOMBIE! We open the TRR VIDEO VAULT with more recommendations for "quarantine viewing"! And, a goodbye to legendary MAD Magazine artist, MORT DRUCKER!
On today's #TheRalphReport : The Thursday SEX U. class: Is the quarantine going to create a new batch of SELF-LOVE ADDICTS?! The return of our UK UPDATE with @steveashton! And, a doctor in Germany has the answer to our problems ... BOOZE!
I hate to drink alone!
(Well, I don't hate it, but, I don't like it ... I mean, I do it, but, it's not like it's my favorite or anything ...)
So, during this time when we're all quarantined, I'm throwing a self-isolated, socially distant, VIRTUAL COCKTAIL PARTY!
Join me, and a few thousand of my closest friends as we ingest whatever helps up get through the madness, and share a few laughs!
Pour yourself a little somethin...
2020-04-08 14:44:36 +0000 UTC View PostOn today's THE RALPH REPORT : A classic ONE-HOT WONDER from the 1970's! A Garmy member is a hero of the COVID-19 crisis in West Virginia! And, the return of PIKOTARO that someone (?) wanted!
Some folks are having a hard time locating their private RSS feed.
Try this:
You'll also find your RSS link on The Ralph Report's Patreon page located in the My membership section.
In that section, you'll find a card on the right side labeled “Private RSS link.” Click the “Copy link” button to copy the link to your clipboard, and paste it into your podcast app or RSS 2020-04-07 14:59:23 +0000 UTC View Post
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Happy National Beer Day! We blow up some COVID-19 villains! Why is The Flash choking people out?! Goodbye to Pussy Galore! And, what's happening on this TV TUESDAY TUESDAY?!
Hi guys!
It seems that lately a number of folks who listen to the show on a podcast player app other than Patreon's have had issues with their RSS feeds for The Ralph Report.
This happens from time to time, (especially with the iTunes player), where a podcast player will drop an RSS feed and you need to load your private RSS feed into your player again.
Here's how you find and use your private RSS feed for The Ralph Report:
Patreon offers each...
2020-04-06 16:14:32 +0000 UTC View Post
On #TheRalphReport this MUNCHIN' MONDAY, it's a no-holds-barred snackin' smackdown!
What's better? WHOOPIE PIES or MOON PIES?!
2020-04-06 15:57:28 +0000 UTC View PostOn today's THE RALPH REPORT : Let Eddie Pence kick off your week with a musical performance! Heroes and villains of the COVID-19 pandemic! And, on this MUNCHIN' MONDAY, it's a no-holds-barred snack battle! ...
WHOOPIE PIES vs. MOON PIES!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Some good news for America's food pantries and the "food insecure"! (Artists formerly known as "hungry".) We open the VIDEO VAULT for more helpful "quarantine viewing" suggestions! And, can Ralph overcome a "self-isolation challenge" of tragic proportions?!
Tune in ... Same Ralph time! Same Ralph channel!
(Some heroes use microphones ...)
Well, we're stuck at home, so let's have a cocktail party!
All we need is you, me and some ice!
Join me Friday at 3pm (Pacific Time) for a LIVE STREAM event to kick off the weekend!
Turn on your camera when you watch, so I can share your pretty face with the Garmy!
LMB!
2020-04-03 01:28:00 +0000 UTC View PostOn today's THE RALPH REPORT : Who in the U.S. is entitled to COVID-19 stimulus money? More of that "singing superstar", Eddie Pence! And, 10 TIPS on how to keep your SEX LIFE alive if you're quarantined away from your partner!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : We tell you what "the word" is on this ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY! (And, no, it's NOT "bird".) For the first time, the TRR CITIZEN OF THE WEEK is an entire U.S. STATE! And, some important talk about getting mental health help, if you need it, during this time of isolation:
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : We leap into the past on this TV TUNES TUESDAY! The culinary version of RUSSIAN ROULETTE! And, our musical tribute to Myrtle Beach, SC, home of "Doc" Artle from TIGER KING!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Kari drops by and joins the fun! CARDI B. is the Tiger King's biggest fan! We enjoy the perfect song for these troubling times! And, more of EDDIE'S DRUNK THOUGHTS!
Think you're self-quarantining ALONE? ... WRONG!
You're not alone ... You're in the GARMY!
And, we're all gonna gather together on Sunday, March 29th at 1pm (US pacific time) and help each other through this insanity!
Usually, the LIVESTREAM events are reserved for the 3 & 4 STAR levels of support, but, while we're all going through this shitshow, this is open to EVERY MEMBER OF THE GARMY!
Join me, Eddie and Kari (and Steve Ashton, if he's sober) for an hour or so ...
2020-03-28 01:55:52 +0000 UTC View PostOn today's THE RALPH REPORT : BRITNEY SPEARS is the world's FASTEST human! Hey douchebags, STOP LICKING THINGS! Another UK UPDATE with Steve Ashton! And, need something to watch while you're stuck at home? We're here to help, with our new segment ... the TRR VIDEO VAULT!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT : The TRR "Citizen of the Week"! DOCTOR WHO saves us again! More of EDDIE'S DRUNK THOUGHTS! And: Stuck in the house during quarantine? SEX U. presents the household items people are using as SEX TOYS!
Wanna join in the conversation with other Garmy members on the Discord app?
Here's the link!
(Special thanks to Stacy and Bobby for starting this!)
2020-03-25 15:57:29 +0000 UTC View PostOn today's THE RALPH REPORT: How to BARTER during quarantine! Day three of 'EDDIE SINGS' week! Today's ONE HIT-WONDER might make you wanna buy a car! And, the WORLD'S LARGEST BANANA SPLIT!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Eddie Pence sings again! This TV TUNES TUESDAY is "perfect"! Cocktails during quarantine: We talk about day-drinking and hangovers! And, HAPPY CHEESE STEAK DAY!
Way back in 2006, I got my meet two of my musical favorites, John Wetton and Geoffrey Downes from ASIA.
They stopped by the morning radio show I was working at to promote an upcoming gig and had heard what a huge fan I was.
They performed an acoustic version of "Heat of the Moment" on-air, and John was kind enough to work my name into the lyrics.
Here's that version in it's entirety.
2020-03-23 16:52:02 +0000 UTC
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On today's THE RALPH REPORT: More of the musical stylings of Mr. Eddie Pence! How to talk to your kids about what's going on! And, designing a schedule for your self-quarantined BINGE WATCHING!
Help us pick the next graphic to be featured on TRR merch!
(Which will be available with the rest here: https://theralphreport.com/merchandise )
Scroll down and pick your fave of these two:
"DIP" by Jaden Miller
or
"BROTHERHOOD" by Charlie Fithian
2020-03-21 18:45:18 +0000 UTC
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Hey all GARMY members!
Don't self-quarantine by yourself!
Let's reduce the "distance" in our "social"!
Usually, our monthly LIVESTREAM events are just for the 3 and 4 STAR generals, but, in order to bring us together in these crazy times, we're opening up this livestream to the whole GARMY all around the WORLD!
Join me, Eddie, and Kari this Sunday, March 22nd at 9am (Pacific time)!
LMB!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT: NEW MOVIES you can watch while you're self- quarantined! Another UK UPDATE with Steve Ashton! And, on the upside, Captain Kirk is TWEETING!
On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Is QAnon is nuts! (Trick question. Yes, they are.) CARDI B. wants that "coin", yo! And, today's SEX U. class: "HOOKING UP in the time of the coronavirus!"
