RPMF1

Voicemail #008 - Turds to the face

Friday 14th November 2025

https://x.com/SkySports/status/1988936646771843294

Voicemail #007 - Im a therapist

13th November 2025

#genocideforthetendies

Voicemail #006 - Family day out hate crime

12th November 2025

The crime: https://x.com/Norrislandofans/status/1988066138602041621?s=20

Voicemail #005 - Must be the spaghetti

Tuesday 11th November 2025

Voicemail #004 - WANGHAF Monday Motivation

10th November 2025

Voicemail #003

9th November 2025

My Sunday morning report for the Brazilian Grand Prix Sprint race & Qualifying. Oscar having a nervous breakdown, putting my neighbours windows in and debating if we should nuke India. Yes we should.

Voicemail #002

Voicemail #001

THE OVEN IS BACK ON 🔥🔥🔥

first of all, calm down

2nd, no I am not dead, unless HMRC is reading this in which case I never even existed

3rd, I have AN ACTUAL BROADCAST in the oven baking nicely

4th, I would like to extend my condolences to Prince Andrew after been forced out of the royal lodge earlier this week, I wish him well.

5th, I didn't want to update the CUMunity until I had a video in the bag, it will be out next week.

PS: please stop abusing the mods in the patreon cha...

Formula Fakers situation is crazy (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)

UPDATE

Its been a week since my last communication so I thought I should update the CUMmunity:

This fucking video is already over 27 minuets long, iv got about 60% of it edited but iv still got a whole section to record about the Verstappen terrorism. 

Sometimes I livestream the edit on the discord server for people who are interested, it’s just me staring at my computer in silence while having a panic attack for about 5 hours but its cool for people to check in on how its going a...

(just the tip)

a lil preview of the next video

I have no fucking idea what the title is yet cos I have many more things to cover in the final piece

Im gonna finish this bit about the Wicklow licker, then I need to cover lando's terrorism in Canada and Max's terrorism in Spain.

many terrorisms.

I will keep you updated in the chat about the progress of the full shaft

COOKING (finally)

Into the tub again, same old trip is was baaaaackkk thennnn 

(Alice in chains reference) 

Didnt want to update the CUMmunity until I had something in the bag. 

iv fucked off the green screen and im back to the tub for classic rage videos. 

Need to see what happens today in the spaztics home race so I can write the end but most of it is already in the oven and cooking real nice, will be out in the next few days. 

I’ll keep you updated ab...

The Nerve #40 - Dirty Protest

i already know what people are gonna say "yOu UpLoaDeD tHiS riGhT bEfoRe tHe sTaRt oF tHe rAcE" THEN FUCKIN LISTEN TO IT LATER DICK HEAD

this is a perfectly comprehensible analysis of Pando Porris bottling the 2025 world championship for no good reason

Oscar 4 the win

Clam Academy

I was hinge deep making another 30+ minuet video trying to cover all this seasons shenanigans so far but was taking ages to edit and ppl where threatening to burn my house down, as per

So, I thought fuck it and made a classic rage video about the clams instead

#womenintheworkplace

RPM AWARDS 2024

The Nerve #39 - A Long Cold Bleak Winter

This is not a conservative show, I love my family and I think musicians are the brightest people in our society.

Sponsored by Ginsters pasties

(just the tip) RPM AWARDS 2024

The first few minuets of the RPM 2024 awards, as mentioned in my update post im hinge deep in the edit but its a THIC boy that's gonna take a couple weeks to finish.

Seeing as the patreon group chat looks like the Gaza strip I thought I better upload something to calm people down.

A few updates

Update #1: This morning I caught the cows plotting an assassination attempt on King Charles. 

Update #2: I am hinge deep in making the RPM end of season unofficial but still really important prize-giving ceremony, its gonna be a THIC BOY (>30 mins) and take a couple weeks to make HOWEVER_I have the first few minuets done and im gonna cut that and upload tonight just to get the content train rolling again. 

Update #3: I have joined the cows in their plot to assassinate...

The Nerve #38 - Osama's Bussy

In this episode of The Nerve I cover the EXPLOSIVE drama between Osama bin Russell and Max Verstappen. I did get sidetracked multiple times talking about race horses, complaining about the McDonald's ordering experience and vaguely explained how the banking system can fail.

The Nerve #37 - Fatphobic Homosexual

In this transmission of The Nerve I briefly mention this mornings qualifying for the Las Vegas Grand Prix but spend most of it screaming about halloween, a mass shooting, fat children and Will Buxton's new book.

Steve Miller national treasure:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8Z0EGrkcDI

2024-11-23 16:41:05 +0000 UTC View Post

"He can't win from 17th on the grid..."

OK PARTY PEOPLE

I have returned, after spending the past 2 weeks in bed with a pulled achilles so wasn't able to get to the underground bunker.

HOWEVER

While I was sat in bed as an actual disabled person, I made this cinematic masterpiece about the Brazilian Grand Prix

I lied, I didn't pull my achilles

I spent the past 2 weeks managing Donald Trump's presidential campaign.

#cheeseball4thewin

Lando Situation is Crazy

cucking

Video in oven at full roast, will be out before the weekend or im gay and my whole family dies

The Nerve #36 - Spastic infinite money glitch

in this transmission of The Nerve i delve into the recent FIA clamp down on PROfannyTEE, explain why Mohammed Ben Sulayem might be the next Adolf Hitler and present a perfectly reasonable financial strategy to increase your portfolio.

ABSOLUTE SCENES on the discord

i have no idea how or why this happened

I shut down the live channel after about 3 hours because of the chaos

we will try it again at some point but for now everybody go into hiding

The Nerve #35 - RIP Retardo

in this transmission i conduct actual joURnALiZm about Daniel Ricciardo's career, scream about some personal affairs and morn the loss of the Duchess of Grantham.

Ferrari F2004 Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpDqs9ljSqg&t=80s

Red Bull Situation is Crazy

will this video make it onto the YouTube channel without multiple re edits?

the hell it will.

phatty cummin soon

i had to re shoot a bunch cos newey decided to disgrace himself by going to Aston Martin

but I swear it will be out by this weekend or i will deface my nans gravestone

also today is 9/11 so happy birthday Osama Bin Russell

Small Meltdown Update

K so patreon added a live voice feature to the chats so I can now scream at you in real time YAY

hOwEVeR - I tried it out earlier in the RPM chat and while it worked PHINE, the traffic spike gave patreon an aneurysm.

For some reason all my content disappeared off the main feed, but if you click 'clear filter' it all comes back as normal.

If you missed the live chat, I was just giving an Address to the compound about overtaking the P2 podcas...