Kevin the Bored

124 Scary World

Okay, so it actually took longer for March to read through several detailed psych profiles, including the persons habits and favourites foods and basically everything about them than I thought it would.

As a matter of fact, she's still reading through it now even after we've arrived at Portland.

I'm doing my best to ignore the mocking look Lucy is sending me about my poor show of timing.

When we reached the edges of the city, there was an isolated van waiting for Crawler, wi...

123 "To know your Enemy"

With us flying overhead and Crawler running through the scenery below, I make sure to get March to arrange a pickup for Crawler at the edge of the city limits, so as to avoid causing a scene.

The idea basically being that we'll get a van to stuff him into, I'll ask him if he wants to become a Clown later, and if he doesn't then I'll just let him loose and see what he does.

Should be fun either way.

At the same time, I sent of a few texts of my own, setting things up and givi...

122 Polite Conversation 2 Electric Boogaloo

"Nutcracker?" Lucy asks, sounding sceptical.

"Yup!~ Think about it, cracking is basically the same as breaking, so it's fittingly thematic, and you can get a dope ass costume, a lot like March's here, plus it'd be fitting enough to wear as a Clown.~"

She hums in thought for a moment, before March jumps into the conversation.

"Oooh~ Matching outfits? Sounds fun!~"

"I'll think about it," Lucy says, before continuing with a question, "can you tell me a little about the ot...

ok, I confused myself

I put a message out on discord about how I couldn't post yesterday, but apparently it did post, i guess, just without telling me for some reason, so... yeah...

👍

121 Happy Reunion 2 Electric Boogaloo

Northern Wyoming, July 5th, 01:47.

High up in the sky, a single decommissioned Bell UH-1 Iroquois helicopter, more commonly known as the 'Huey', a helicopter designed and mass produced during the Vietnam war, can be seen hovering in place.

Inside, there are only two occupants, one being the pilot, and the other being a small girl wearing a bunny mask with a red, clown nose and marching band outfit, ears poking up through the brim of a flat-top, feathered cap, with a fancy rapier a...

120 You Win Some, You Lose Some

"So, Tiger, if that even is your real name, you aren't some creepy old dude who's been taking advantage of your projection's body to get freaky with me right?"

My question snaps Lucy out of her stupor enough for her to kick me in the butt, not that she can hit me hard enough for me to even stumble from it, but her exasperated face is pretty funny.

"What? Her being a projection doesn't really change much, we're still in a stalemate. They can't hurt us, we can't hurt them, so why no...

119 Revelation (Minor edits and an edition to the A/N at the end)

Before I can even really react to the situation, Siberian's clawed hand cleaves through my body, bisecting me without any resistance whatsoever and sending my torso flying away from my legs.

Ow.

My power reaches out from my two separate parts, meeting in the middle and my legs snap backwards to meet the rest of my body, my wings bursting out of by back at the same moment, sending me backwards with a single flap and shooting a pair of bone spikes at both of their heads.

Both ...

118 Ah... I see

"Tear. How was your hunt? I see you brought quite the hall." Jack's tone sounds light and casual as he greets me even though I'm certain he's aware of my intentions.

Still, that doesn't mean I won't play along. "Oh, you know, pretty good. Wasn't expecting to find any deer though. Never killed a deer before, so that was cool."

As I speak, I notice his eyes flicker over to the others for a second, clearly taking note of Lucy standing in range of Shatterbird and Burnscar.

In ch...

117 Charisma is the Best Stat

Standing in the small forest clearing, surrounded by rabbit corpses and a single adult deer, it doesn't take too long for Sibby to arrive, carrying a deer of her own in one hand while she uses her mouth and other hand to carry a few rabbits.

Yet, in spite of all the blood leaking from the animals' wounds, her skin is completely untouched by it, which means that she is simply not allowing the blood to stick to her for once.

I guess she prefers hunting humans then, because she gener...

116 Precipice of Change

Northern Wyoming, July 4th, 23:32

Despite the speed at which we are moving as we run through the midnight forest, neither Sibby nor I make a sound, dashing through the trees and untamed wilds with the grace of a true predator, our eyes unbothered by the darkness of the night as we hunt some game.

The others are all back with the RV, except for Crawler, who's probably gone to stretch his legs, waiting for us to come back with some meat to cook.

Not that we don't have any food...

115 Interlude: PHO but it's basically a recap episode

A/N: Ok, just wanna say, I think I may have overestimated Discord's ability to write my chapters for me, so while they did help a decent amount, I've still had to edit and add stuff anyway :(

And here I was thinking I'd be able to skip a day and let other people do the work for me....

Either way, if this chap sucks, don't blame me

                        &n...

114 Interlude: Rachel 'String Theory' Parker

Looking frantically between all the flashing lights and monitors yelling out warnings, I can't help but wonder where it all went wrong.

Everything has been going fine for the last two years, and now all of a sudden it's going to shit.

After Triggering with a Tinker power, my first couple of months were rather slow, not having the money to get the materials I needed to build what I wanted.

But then I had the amazing idea to solve that issue. My power basically lets me build a...

113 Interlude: Rebecca Costa-Brown

There were times where Rebecca wondered if it was even worth the effort to keep her job.

Working as the Chief Director of the entire PRT is a stressful, painful thing, something that is all the more obvious as she sits in her office and watches another report on the news about the Nine laying waste to another city.

The only positive, if it can even be called as such, is that they haven't done anything even nearing the casualty count from that disaster in Columbus, but that's hardl...

Omake: Lusia the Adventurer

A/N: Just wanted to say, but the next PHO chap is coming up. I would have already started it, but we have to wait for the losers that don't give me money to catch up first, so once I post chap 110, which should be in 3 days, I'll be opening the pho thread on my discord. If ya wanna be a part of it then head on over, cuz I'm only planning on playing the part of canon characters :)

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The Adventurer's Guild has long since been a bastion of Humanity, having been founded since we...

112 Interlude: Clowning Around

"Kitsune. I wasn't expecting to see you so soon?" The new Director says with a questioning tone.

I suppose his confusion does make some sense. After all, I was only promoted to the leader of this branch of the Protectorate a couple of days ago.

I wasn't originally a true contender for the position, what with Carol already having been reaching for the mantle for a while now, not to mention that Director Balvan never would have considered me for the position.

But with Noah rea...

111 Read This Chap's A/N At Least, Please?

Columbus, outskirts of Georgia. April 15th, 08:30.

Leaning back on my parked bike, I look out over the ruins of a formerly proud city a small distance away and nod once to myself, a slight feeling of satisfaction filling me, only to be swiftly followed by minor annoyance, that is also soon smothered out into bare indifference.

I always thought the Nine were tacky, and honestly? The past two weeks or so have done nothing to change my mind.

I won't deny that slaughtering hundr...

110 This Mini Arc Has Gone On Way Too Long

A/N: Sorry for not uploading for three days, I'm not ill or anything, I'm just getting hella bored of this. Seriously, Fuck Columbus, I am never going to step foot in a Columbus ever, this is the second time something like this has gone on too long to be fun in Columbus :<

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Columbus, Georgia. April 11th, 17:49.

"Woah there!~" I exclaim as I duck under another energy spear, placing my hands on my head as I do so, "be careful!~ You could hurt someone!~"

Devi...

109 Can't Think of a Title

Columbus, Georgia. April 11th, 16:09.

Sitting on the roof of a carefully chosen building, I try my best to distract myself by playing solitaire, but my mind is just too preoccupied by annoyance to really enjoy the game.

Then I get annoyed about the fact that I'm even feeling annoyed in the first place, leaving me in a generally not amazing mood.

Siberian's test for Queenie finished earlier today, and I was happy to hear that the experiment survived. Now Siberian only has Car...

108 Chess (Credit to Toyah99 for the idea)

Columbus, Georgia. April 10th, 14:20.

It ended up taking a couple of hours to track down all of the people Lucy needed to kill, though to be honest I might have marked too many people for her.

It's not like she was counting, but there were likely a few extra.

Honestly, I'm a little upset, because her kill count has just surpassed my own in a single night, how unfair is that?

I've only killed like, three or four hundred people with my own two metaphorical hands after al...

107 Gotta Get That K/D Grind

Walking along the street, I tune out Bonesaw's ramblings as I focus on playing the part of bodyguard and ensuring that Bonesaw is never within five metres of Lucy, as she now apparently wants to be called.

When Hatchet Face came back earlier in the day, I was both disappointed and intrigued.

Disappointed because he didn't end up like Mannequin, and intrigued because of how he described the former Ward, and I have to say, I am certainly pleased with how she has turned out.

He...

106 Interlude: Lucy Darwick again! Cuz I think she's cool! :D

Columbus, Georgia. April 9th, 22:02.

The stars are beautiful to look at.

Especially from so high up, and there isn't a taller building than the one I chose to relax on.

This way, I'm sure I'll be left alone.

I think part of the reason the sky is such an attractive sight, is because when our heads are in the clouds, we never have to take notice of the suffering that surrounds us.

Sitting as I am, with my legs kicking back and forth over the edge of the tallest bui...

105 Interlude: Lucy Darwick 2 Electric Boogaloo

Columbus, Georgia. April 8th, 12:02.

Standing before the pile of Broken and mangled flesh and metal, the street around me reduced to a fine dust, I still only feel empty.

Giving the corpse one last disinterested glance, I turn around to walk back to my apartment, thoughts slowly swirling about dully in my head.

My power changed when-

My power has changed.

I vaguely understand why, but I shove that thought away to focus on the present.

Like the corpse of Man...

104 IT'S ALIVEEEEEE!!!!

𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬, 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘤𝘬.

After a short pause, the door in front of me is swung open to reveal a few spider bots staring at me with various implements of malicious intent jutting out of their bodies and pointed at me.

"Take me to your leader," I demand of them, putting on a deep voice because it's fun.

Obviously, they don't really respond. Being brains stuffed into spider robots kind of damages their conversational abilities a little bit, but they do chitte...

HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GAWD FUCK YES!!!

So, the artist I commissioned sent me his first sketch of Lusia and maybe it's because I've been picturing her in my head for 3 months now, but holy fuck I cannot contain my excitement for this!!!!! hehehehahahaha!!

And Veela, I only checked the amount after giving thanks but it feels like that thank you wasn't enough, so Thank You oh so very much for helping turn this into a reality!! 

I am so fucking happy right now, I cannot waitttttttttt!!!

God, Imma stop typing oth...

103 There Are Books Other Than The Art of War?

Columbus, Georgia. April 8th, 05:30.

It didn't actually take me that long to get to Siberian, but after following her around as she chases her candidate down, I ended up getting bored pretty quickly with just watching.

Thus, I asked her to herd him towards me when her test was coming to an end, or to come fetch me if he passes away, and then I just found a roof and fell asleep.

Yet, that sleep was just disturbed.

Opening my eyes, I'm greeted with the pleasant sight of ...

Omake: Lusia the Hero

Ok, so. Lemme explain. A certain cretin by the name of Scarlet_Monarch posted an idea about Lusia being summoned as a Hero in the classic Isekai way, and the idea wouldn't leave my head, so I decided to do an omake for it... Except I got too invested in the Lore and now I wanna write an original, but for now, I'm going to make it into a sort of concurrent side story.

Either way, I hope you enjoy :3

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In a grand cathedral hall filled with pillars and chandeliers,...

102 A Glimpse of Something Greater

The area enters a strange sort of standoff with neither side moving.

Hundreds of them against a single me, yet they all know by now that if fighting breaks out that I will be the one to walk away, not them, so they don't open fire immediately.

I also don't make any sudden movements, as I don't want them to ruin the performance by shooting at me.

I wait in silence for a short moment, giving Carrot a chance to say whether she's ready to play or not, but her eyes are wide and u...

101 Happy Reunion

A/N: So I've got an artist working on a commission for Lusia in full Kakuja form, but it's £130 and while I can pay that, it's still a significant portion of my money so if any of y'all are willing to help foot this bill, that'd be grand. Idk if you can give extra on patreon or not, but you can either just pick a higher tier or use paypal.me/BoredWorks to send money directly. Again, you don't have to, I'm grateful enough that you're here in the first place :3

Back to the regularly sche...

100 Interlude: Lucy 'Carrot' Darwick

A/N: Whoop whoop, one hundo baby!! Gonna make it extra depressing in celebration (:

Also, trying something new with this chapter by doing an interlude in 3rd person, mostly cuz writing depression in first person is too hard cuz depressed people don't have a lot of thoughts.

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Blackness.

𝘋𝘳𝘪𝘱.

Nothing to be seen and nothing to be heard except for a single slow, rhythmic sound.

𝘋𝘳𝘪𝘱.

Inside of this pitch black room, there is a ...

99 Do You Think Fish See Air Like We See Water?

Columbus, Georgia. April 7th, 15:57.

Looking down at the exhausted, handless woman covered in dirt and blood, I can't help but be a little disappointed that she's basically clocked out not even five hours in.

So far, there has definitely been some close calls. She 𝘪𝘴 funny and if I wasn't explicitly trying to 𝘯𝘰𝘵 laugh, then I would have ran out of air from all the funny shit she's said and done.

Like an hour ago when I gave the command to 'show me something I...