tedsteel

2.14 - Pieces of Silver

14.

I turned back from the window and plastered a smile on my face. Everything would be all right! It was a cold smile though. I wasn't sure I believed it.

"Max," said Emma, with the exact right amount of concern. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," I said. "I just need to talk to Henri about football. Bad timing I know, but..." I looked up at the wall clock. Two hours to go. Easy. "It's sort of time sensitive. There's a guy about to go on holiday and he's the only one w...

2.13 - Complaints

13.

After my shower, I went for lunch with Cutter. All very civilised. I asked him about his footballing philosophy and how he'd assembled such a good team. He asked about my footballing history, I told him I had none, and he typed my name into some website and it came up blank. "Unbelievable," he said. "You just popped up out of nowhere."

He asked me to return the next morning for a sort of demonstration match so he could show me to some guys from Darlington’s board of director...

2.12 - Challenge

12.

"Max," said Cutter. "You're interested in our drills, yeah? Do you want to have a go from the inside?"

"Absolutely," I said.

He scanned the pattern of the cones and said the transition drills were over and they were now doing a simple one-touch passing drill. "It's about working as a unit. Scanning for options before the pass comes to you. Variety of passing. It's harder than it looks." Again, everything he said was music to my ears.

Cutter stopped the s...

2.11 - Transitions

11.

Football glossary: transition. The chaotic period where an attacking team loses the ball and the defending team becomes the attacking team.

***

Friday, 11th November

It was a two and a quarter hour drive to Darlington, made worse by the rush hour traffic around Leeds. I'd stuffed my phone full of football podcasts, though, so the trip wasn't entirely dead air. Every now and then I'd pause the podcasts and have a little think. Was I right to wait for the World Cup-t...

2.10 - Chat Shit Get Banged

[Mega double chapter! Put the kettle on!]

10.

Football glossary: Chat Shit Get Banged. In 2011, long before he shot Leicester City to their 5000-1 Premier League victory, non-league striker Jamie Vardy was mocked by fans of a rival team. He tweeted that 'those who say negative things might well expect to face negative consequences', though being Jamie Vardy, he managed to squeeze all this meaning into four commaless words.

***

Beep. "Hi, Max here,...

2.9 - Change

9.

MD fucked off with good grace.

I stood, picked up the marker pen, and went to the window.

I watched the match for a few moments. I was partly giving MD time to get out of earshot, partly giving myself time to gather my thoughts. Discussing the contract dates would be explosive and would surely end my time in Chester. Before doing that, I decided to try to talk to Ian Evans, to get to know him a bit, to see if there was an alternate path. To ...

2.8 - A Prisoner's Dilemma

8.

Wednesday, 9th November

The outskirts of Chester. The UK headquarters of a small but international credit card company.

I was in the temporary office of Chester FC's 72-year-old manager, Ian Evans. There was this weird sense of being in a police interrogation room. The main piece of furniture was a desk; one whole wall was a window. Unlike a real police room, this window wasn't a one-way mirror. It was a real window looking out onto the pitches outside. To the left, some ...

2.7 - Betamax

7.

The changing room, the showers, my first time with professional players, seen, heard, and smelt through a gauzy Instagram filter. Hazy, distant, weak. There was banter, joking, oneupsmanship, but even though I felt disembodied the banter seemed lacking. Forced. This 19-man squad had been divided into winners and losers, and the losers had just beaten the winners. No-one knew how to act.

Some of the reserves tried to chat with me. With most of them, I only had the ene...

2.6 - And Again

6.

Football Glossary: 'And again!' A shout from one participant to another meaning 'do that one more time, please, would you, good sir?' or 'please complete the action that I have started'. For example, a coach might use this phrase to encourage a player to repeat a certain sprint. Or player 1 may pass the ball to player 2 and shout 'and again!' which is understood to be a request for the ball to be returned to player 1.

***

13 minutes until the end of my trial...

2.5 - Diamond Geezer

5.

30 minutes until the end of my trial.

You're caught in a snare. You need something sharp to cut your way out.

Your friends need to show off, but they're looking a bit drab. A bit dowdy. You need to dress them up and there's no time to lose.

You've got to pay your rent and you need to sell something fast.

There's one answer to all these problems.

Diamonds are hard; they cut. Diamonds are beautiful; they pimp. Diamonds are my favourite colour - ...

2.4 - Two Touch

4.

Football glossary: Two Touch. A type of game (usually a training sesh) where players are only allowed to touch the ball twice. Controlling the ball counts as one touch, and the subsequent pass or shot is the second touch. Once another player has touched the ball, your touches are reset. Two Touch sessions develop technique and speed of thought.

***

I allowed myself a moment to enjoy the sensation of my ambitions crumbling around me. It was like the moment after...

2.3 - Max's Misfits

3.

Ian Evans gave me ten minutes to organise my team. My guys grabbed luminous yellow bibs and then formed a loose huddle in our half of the pitch. As Raffi went to grab his, Shona called out to him, 'Why you playing a match?' He smiled at her as if to say, 'it's okay, honey. This is part of the plan'. You can't spell smile without lie, readers.

Henri picked up a bib.

"No way," I said.

"Max," he said. But instead of finishing the sentence, he pulled...

2.2 - Ian Evans

2.

Raffi picked me up and we drove to Chester. He was excited; I was nervous. I was a bag of nerves. There was so much riding on this one morning!

We arrived at Chester's training ground - literally a business park owned by a credit card company - and I got changed. Raffi hadn't been joking about his boxing training - when he took his shirt off I saw a phenomenal set of abs. Way to make a dude feel puny, bro.

The place was so strange. It was soulless. Eve...

2.1 - Scouting Max Best

...

Season 2022/23 - The Second Half

Recap

Max Best has been cursed with the ability to see the attributes of football players. He gains experience points by watching live football matches and can spend XP to upgrade his skills. He has had enough minor success as a manager and scout to impress a handful of football insiders. But he still works in a call centre and has turned months of grinding into exactly one hundred pounds.

***

“In order to...

1.71 - Home to Roost

71.

When I say ‘next’ I don’t mean the next ten minutes of the match, because they were fairly mediocre. I was concentrating, gathering XP, checking the match ratings and the commentary and all the other things. By the way, I'd reprogrammed the curse to show me the match ratings in my normal vision even if I was looking away from the pitch. So I could seem to be giving a vice president of a biotech company my full attention while also keeping track of what was ...

1.70 - Planting Seeds

70.

Mike Dean had a good time, by his standards a legendary night on the tiles, until it was home o'clock, at which point he realised he'd have to spend the night in Moss Side. You'd think that would sober him up, but no. Even though I had the dodgy ankle, it fell to me to help him back to my place. When he found out there was only one bed I worried he'd burst into tears, so I let him take it.

Down in my living room, I took the two cushions fr...

1.69 - The Promised Land

69.

What's the busiest train station in the world? I'm not sure what Trivial Pursuit would say, but the real answer is: my head. Hundreds of trains of thought departing in all directions.

Director of Football! I'd be in charge of most of the football stuff. Contracts. Buying and selling players. Improving the squad. Making sales, reinvesting in better players while improving the facilities. That shitty little gym had to go. How much did a cryotherapy chamber cost? The y...

Helpul Links

I'll be putting links and epub files and stuff in here to make it easier to find where you are up to etc etc.

Brand New? (Plus Jump Links)

The current schedule is chapters on Mon-Wed-Fri. T1 and T2 Patrons will find new chapters unlocked. T3 dudes are notified or sent an email.

The very first chapter is here.
2022-12-21 11:04:17 +0000 UTC View Post

1.68 - Maxy No-Thumbs

68.

I was early. I'd brought the crutches because I'd told Mike Dean that I was still using them. And I was, sometimes. But at about 10 AM I'd gotten a notification that Chester FC had sent me 170 pounds. 60 for the petrol, 10 for a pie, and 100 for my scouting report. And that had reduced what remained of my pain by approximately 80%.

Alchemy! For the first time, I'd turned football into CASH.

I could have danced, yo!

Fine. I danced a bit. Relax. N...

1.67 - Next Stop Vegas

67.

I wasn't allowed into the changing rooms after the match, and wouldn't have wanted to be there. So I texted Ziggy a string of ball emojis followed by a string of goal! emojis.

Then I went to the bookies to collect my winnings.

While I was in the queue, I saw that Chester had drawn 1-1. Against Oldham, weirdly. The club with the agent-hating gammons. Small world! Chester hadn't won in a while. It seemed that hiring the safe, experienced manager wasn't really wo...

1.66 - Celebrations

[You want a mega double chapter to help you through the weekend? You got it!]

66.

Thursday was fine. My ankle was much better and the black eye was no longer sore when I touched it. I celebrated by eating my last hobnobs. There would be no more treats until I had sent my 500 pounds off to the FA. Strict frugality.

I went to work and in the gaps between calls thought about my options. Earning money via scouting was a useful side hustle, but ther...

1.65 - Duels

65.

Tuesday night, home late, few hours sleep, up bright and early for work on Wednesday. Or since this was England in the autumn, up dark and early. Around lunch I got a text from my former assistant.

Henri Lyons: Max! Three days with no communication. I do not feel seduced. I expect you to chase me like you'd chase a lover.

Me: I always wait 6 days before texting. But hey, if I drive to Darlington, will you take me up to Newca...