This was going to be a pretty straightforward one in terms of background assets until another cartoonist friend echoed a thought that had been on my mind for the last two days and that I attempted to brush off. Namely, it would be cool if there were packing peanuts flying everywhere when the FYOM popped out of his box. Now that idea, which had never been outside the confines of my own twisted imagination*, had made its way into the world of tangible language and could not be ignored....
2025-10-03 22:46:22 +0000 UTC
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Trying to figure out a fun, different sex position to draw Kayla in for the next comic’s bonus panel. Is there any position that you’ve REALLY wanted to see her in?
UPDATE:
Going with piledriver! But I’m for sure putting all these suggestions in a little document to pull from and I think I can get to all of them before too long. Thank you so much, everyone! ❤️
2025-10-01 00:10:00 +0000 UTC
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Did you know the first automatic doors were actually invented in ancient Greece? I guess some guy named Heron rigged up a thing where you light a fire that would heat up the air in a thing with water in it. The pressure would then force the water into another thing that was attached to a pulley system for the door. Pretty neat!
Though I dunno how “automatic” I’d call that door. I feel like the time and energy it takes to start a fire has a much higher threshold than what it takes ...
2025-09-30 00:13:06 +0000 UTC
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I’m not sure if I have stress dreams or not because I never remember my dreams. I experience more of what some are calling “waking stress”. Basically, during each and every hour of every day I experience a low-level static of panic over every choice I’ve ever made or ever will make.
Crazy, right? It’s not like we live in a dystopian hellscape of uncertainty and isolation. Oh wait. Actually, ya know what? There has never been a better time for someone who’s spent most of thei...
2025-09-27 16:25:04 +0000 UTC
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You know that stat you hear sometimes? That the human body is 70 percent water? Much like the “we only use 1% of our brain” statistic, it’s actually not true. It’s really just a little over 50%. Which is still a notable amount if you ask me.
What I really want to know though, is why hasn’t anyone taken that fake fact and run with it for the premise of a movie like the 1% brain thing has been done to death? It could be like… everyone is 70% water, but Lucy drank one ...
2025-09-25 17:49:27 +0000 UTC
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I gotta say, for the first panel, the siren song that is drawing a Tex Avery-style wolf reaction face called to me like hype-fueled market manipulation calls to a crypto bro. That is to say, it felt virtually irresistible but I knew it would hurt things in the long run.
I’m going to be getting a little into the dry business of comedy craft. So, forgive me in advance for lecture time. But, the problem with doing an all-out reaction face like that in the first panel is that it doesn’t...
2025-09-23 00:41:26 +0000 UTC
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Decided to switch things up a little by doing a little drawing for its own sake with no pressure. I think she turned out pretty well. What do you think?
Anyway, back to comics now. I gotta write something!
2025-09-18 14:46:50 +0000 UTC
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Gawddamn it! Why do I keep doing this? I designed a whole-ass dumpster with splotches of dirt and grime, some blink-and-you’ll-miss-it text gags on the side of it, printed, cut everything out, assembled it, and how much did I use? Just the littlest corner. I guess I’ll have to write another dumpster-related comic in the near future just to make sure it doesn’t go to waste. Though, that would be a fitting irony for a dumpster. To go to waste, that is.
But...
2025-09-17 23:22:58 +0000 UTC
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I said it’s “not safe for work”! If you can’t handle seeing a dick, you can’t handle… life! Or, you’re twelve. If you’re twelve, I’ve got no gripe with you. Not only is being twelve not your fault, but I’m confident you’ll grow out of it. Just takes time. Some have said I even had such a phase for about a year a long time ago. I will neither confirm nor deny these rumors. You will be hearing from my lawyers if you repeat such an egregious accus...
2025-09-15 18:20:33 +0000 UTC
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I have to wonder if there’s a single type of clothing article that’s not fetishized by at least some l small group of people. There are obviously certain items that top the leaderboards. High heels, stockings, any type of uniform, those white sneakers the Green M&M girl wears. That’s right, I think she’s actually hotter now!
But, back on topic. My theory is that if you put human bodies behind or under anything and expose that pairing enough times to eno...
2025-09-12 16:21:08 +0000 UTC
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Is this why “selfie sticks” came into fashion? Did the public realize that handing your phone to a complete stranger is a shocking display of trust that doesn’t match up with our lending policy for any other possession (particularly our phones) under any other circumstances.
But then, why did they go out of fashion? Did we realize that a world where we can’t trust one another is a society destined for collapse and primed for fascism? Did we realize that if we don’t st...
2025-09-10 18:37:44 +0000 UTC
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It’s weird that we haven’t really made advancements in the technology we use to control our televisions since the 1980s. Just a blackish-grey rectangle that blinks an infrared bulb in what’s basically Morse code to tell your TV (be it a curved, 3D, 8K flatscreen or a standard definition cement block) to turn the volume up or down.
I guess they’ve added the ability to press a button and speak into your remote. I use the word “ability” very loosely here. I’m not sure if this...
2025-09-08 19:33:11 +0000 UTC
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I’m going to be honest, I’ve never seen One Tree Hill. I don’t even have a single clue what it’s about. I’m going to go out on a limb (Limb? Like on a tree? Like the “Tree” in One Tree Hill? There’s also a joke there.) and assume there’s a hill with one tree on it where this group of outcast high schoolers who look like they’re thirty congregate and tell each other secrets? Maybe they’re outcasts because they’re in their mid-thirties, but still in high school. But not ...
2025-09-05 01:03:27 +0000 UTC
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Everything’s fine. I’m gonna be fine! I just need a real quick break. If I’d planned better I’d have done stuff ahead so no one would even notice. Is it presumptuous for me to think anyone would have noticed anyway? Look, I’m not saying I’m deserving of being noticed in the least! I’m but just in case they do, I didn’t want anyone thinking I didn’t care or don’t appreciate everyone! Is that coming across?! That I care?! I care so much! Do you know
2025-08-31 19:37:15 +0000 UTC
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So, first of all, I’d like to mention before anyone else points it out, I am aware that “rolling skiing” is in fact a real thing. I will maintain that this doesn’t “break” the scenario within the comic, because the character hasn’t heard of it before.
Now, did I only find out about it inadvertently after I was already well into a very tight sketch while looking up ski equipment references? Perhaps. Anything’s possible. We live in a world of ete...
2025-08-27 23:05:04 +0000 UTC
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I wanna talk about the physical prop asset for a bush I made (the kind of bush with leaves, not the other kind). Unfortunately, it’s a background element that’s only in the bonus panel, so, if you’re not subscribed to my Patreon, you’re not even going to know what I’m talking about.
It’s pretty cool though! I went out and got some stainless steel scouring pad ball things, then teased one of them up to look more organic and then painted it green. Now, even i...
2025-08-23 17:57:47 +0000 UTC
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Actually, now that I think about it, are the lifeguards at nude beaches also nude? On the one hand you’d be kinda out of place and might feel left out. On the other hand, you are at work, and how are people going to distinguish you as someone with some level of authority and responsibility? Clothes really are useful indicators for that sort of thing.
I guess you could use body paint and write out “lifeguard” across your torso. Or… wear a whistle. But then what ...
2025-08-20 22:32:29 +0000 UTC
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What do you call your boobs? Don’t have boobs? That’s okay! Nearly half the population is in the same boat as you. Even if you do have breasts of your own, I don’t expect that it’s a given that you have names for them. Currently, not a great deal of the women I know have individual monikers for their tits.
I do wonder how it breaks down though. Do women who name their breasts share a lot in common with the kinds of guys with a name for their dick? Or are these completely differ...
2025-08-18 22:49:29 +0000 UTC
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Got surprised with this awesome pinup by a reader of the comic! With his blessing, I’m posting it here for all of you to enjoy as well! Oh! And here’s all his links if you wanna see more of his stuff!
2025-08-16 02:31:48 +0000 UTC
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The biggest loss for me personally with the advent of ChatGPT is that it’s forced me to strip em-dashes out of my writing style. Ya know, that dash that’s a little longer than a regular dash — like that!
It used to be a fun, infrequently used, but easily understood form of punctuation to throw in place of a semicolon, or just to use for a pause. And while it’s still infrequently used by humans, robots are apparently obsessed with them. And as much as I...
2025-08-15 18:31:02 +0000 UTC
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I’ve never been much for yoga personally. I’m sure it’s very beneficial in a lot of different arenas; I just don’t have the patience for it.
It’s weird, because I have the patience for a lot of other things, but most of those other things don’t require staying still and nothing happening. Same reason I “can’t” meditate. I know, I know; you gotta accept and acknowledge it when you get distracted and then recenter yourself or whatever. I just don’t have the patience.
2025-08-13 19:33:31 +0000 UTC
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Just to get ahead of it, yes, on some commercials Skyrizi’s slogan is “Nothing is Everything”, but on other commercials they use the slogan “Control is everything to me”. And if you’re outside the States, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about, because outside of us and New Zealand, I don’t think other countries allow commercials for prescription pharmaceuticals.
But don’t worry; for every drug commercial you don’t get to see, they just show it her...
2025-08-11 20:01:38 +0000 UTC
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Much of the time I’m more in agreement with Esther, but I’m actually with Kayla on this one. Chopsticks just feel like the more elegant solution for getting food from a plate to your mouth. It mildly annoys me that more Americans aren’t on board with this thinking, since it means I have to tell the Chinese place when I pick up a delivery that I want chopsticks in the bag.
I do wonder if they’d also just throw in a plastic fork if an Asian were to pick it up. That’s discriminat...
2025-08-07 19:03:46 +0000 UTC
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According to my understanding, the word “twerk” has its origins in the early ‘90s before gaining more mainstream popularity in the 2000s. What about before then, though? Surely in all of human history of moving one’s butt around, someone stumbled across the notion of moving it in that particular fashion. Were flappers twerking? Perhaps some courtiers during the Middle Ages? Perchance it was performed by concubines of the Far East?
All I know is that it’s really hard t...
2025-08-05 01:30:04 +0000 UTC
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I just realized, for the last comic I did actually draw out Esther’s full body behind the shower curtain for the purposes of getting the proper subtle diffusion of her form through the mostly opaque curtain as so.
So, I figured, why am I keeping that in a layer in a file on my computer, forever unseen? So, here it is. I imagine this addition takes place in an al...
2025-08-04 13:38:06 +0000 UTC
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This is actually based (and when I say “based” I mean “almost verbatim transcript”) on a conversation between me and a good friend and fellow cartoonist. And when I say “good friend”, I mean we’ve been friends for many years. Not that calling your friend “trailer trash” makes you particularly “good”.
I really do have a pathological dislike for most anyone even moderately rich. I carve out an exception for writers, artists and other creatives. Even if I don...
2025-08-01 19:35:33 +0000 UTC
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This is actually based (and when I say “based” I mean “almost verbatim transcript”) on a conversation between me and a good friend and fellow cartoonist. And when I say “good friend”, I mean we’ve been friends for many years. Not that calling your friend “trailer trash” makes you particularly “good”.
I really do have a pathological dislike for most anyone even moderately rich. I carve out an exception for writers, artists and other creatives. Even if I don...
2025-08-01 19:33:06 +0000 UTC
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Just a little preview of the comic I’m going to be posting tomorrow! ❤️
2025-08-01 00:21:52 +0000 UTC
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Was “Beyond the Pale” the name of a Jim Gaffigan stand up special? I feel like it has to have been. In my mind I feel like every special he does incorporates the word “pale” somehow. I’m probably totally wrong. But, in my defense, if you reuse a word other than “the” or “and” in more than three separate specials, that’s worthy of note. Actually, even “and” would be kinda notable.
So, if you’re reading this, Jim, I got a pitch for your next one. Ready? ...
2025-07-28 20:28:49 +0000 UTC
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Was “Beyond the Pale” the name of a Jim Gaffigan stand up special? I feel like it has to have been. In my mind I feel like every special he does incorporates the word “pale” somehow. I’m probably totally wrong. But, in my defense, if you reuse a word other than “the” or “and” in more than three separate specials, that’s worthy of note. Actually, even “and” would be kinda notable.
So, if you’re reading this, Jim, I got a pitch for your next one. Ready? ...
2025-07-28 20:23:10 +0000 UTC
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