SpanishRed

I'm a Terrible Sub and Proud of It

Meet Belle. She’s a subly princess who always does what she’s told. She can handle the toughest suspensions for hours, all while fluttering her eyelashes and squirting. It’s true. She lives in a cage and knows how to look elegant while being water-boarded.  Belle has one hard limit: Anything her guy doesn’t want her to do.

She knows all the slave positions by rote and spends most of her time doing yoga. All the best rope bunnies do, you know.

I’m not like Belle. My ...

Can You Bleed (A post for my writing followers)

My writing mentor didn’t teach me much about psychoanalytic criticism or Marxist theory. If you think a “poststructuralism” is a kind of fashion style, I’m not about to send you out to read academic texts. I don’t care about poststructuralism because my mentor’s highest focus was discovering passion, then learning how to distill and direct it.

He taught me to do, not theorise.

We read and studied books. We discussed how they found their power. We worked through reams a...

Who are you

There is a small group of you at this account, but without usernames, I don't know who you are or where your interests lie. It would be good if you could tell me a bit about yourself in the comments. What's your Fet username? What kind of content do you want to see here? I'm going to set up a poll for those of you who just want to click and go. 

The Starfish Girls

Three years ago, a crazy hat-wearing retiree called Cheryl put a post up on my local noticeboard.

“Does anyone in Muizenberg play Scrabble?”

That’s all it took.

A few women turned up for those games in the weeks that followed. There was Heather, who hadn’t been out in public since the pandemic hit. There was Jocelynn, who had moved to South Africa from Zimbabwe, and there was me—the person who thought responding to Scrabble games on the internet was probably a Very...

Why I'm Removing Patience from My Sexual Wishlist

Yesterday a self-titled Sex Guru told me he’d had a much older girlfriend when he was but a lad who taught him to be the pro he is today. This has legitimately happened to every self-titled guru who’s ever graced my threads. I don’t know why they all tell the same story, but I’m pretty sure it has a Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack. 

Dee de dee dee dee. And here’s to you Mrs… Sorry. What was I saying? 

Oh, right. What skills does Norman ha...

When Subs Violate Consent

You know this feeling. You've been here before—bent over the kitchen counter biting down at every strike of his cane. You can do this. You feel you might snap in half, but calling red feels like a personal failing. Besides, you started this. You owe it to him to finish it, and so you clench your teeth until physical pain turns into emotional pain, and emotional pain turns into trauma, and trauma turns into flashbacks.

He's told you to use your safe word at times like this, bu...

WTF is Show Don't Tell?

Readers are like CIA agents. They want to find information about your prose and poetry instead of having it handed to them on a silver platter. Clues that make readers draw information into their heads and mull over it to figure out their meanings force them to internalise your work and thus respond emotionally to it. When readers have internalised your character in this way, they flesh him out three-dimensionally, using their imaginations to build all the sinew and blood that sentences will ...

Things Cis Men Need to Know About Vaginas

• A wet vagina is not necessarily a turned-on vagina. Our body parts are super good at cleaning themselves, so a natural/organic discharge is a sign that MissThang is doing the housecleaning, and not that they're thinking about Tom Hardy in a feather boa. Organic discharges are watery. Sexy discharges are slippery. Now you can tell the difference! Here’s a gold star.
• Only 18% of women can orgasm from penetration alone, but if you understand her anatomy, you might have some luck...
  2023-07-20 11:31:30 +0000 UTC View Post

How to Get Laid on Fetlife As a Straight Male

If you ask your average dudebro, Fetlife is a terrible tool for getting laid. They’ll tell you it’s because 90% of the women on the site are fake profiles with pictures stolen from last year’s Pirelli calendar. The other 10% are here to make a killing through Only Fans. To dudebros, all 100% of us are made out of pixels, not flesh--in more ways than one.

The men who call Fetlife a terrible sex tool have two things in common:

-1. They want to plug into the site as though it�...

The Female Orgasm Has Just One Door

<Puts on David Attenborough voice> The living world is a spectacular marvel. Billions of individuals on this great stage we call “earth” are true pussy whisperers, dazzling in their cunnilingus talents. If you ask these Yellow Breasted Dudebros under the tree canopy what they’re best at, they will say, “Pussy licking, obviously.”

“I’m not like those other guys,” they’ll say. “I was taught by the Boerrie Satva of Boksburg when I was but a teen.” I know they’...

Why Kink References are Bunk (and What to Do Instead)

Yesterday I had a conversation with a Fetlife stranger about consent. He had a nuanced understanding of kink ethics, so I labelled him “one of the good ones” and went on my way. Shortly after that discussion, someone wrote to tell me he’d been implicated in a human trafficking ring.

This happens more often than you might think. One of the first friends I ever made on this site ended up being a registered sex offender. Only after Fetlife booted him from the site did I learn how he ...

Why Kink References are Bunk (and What You Should Use Instead)

Yesterday I had a conversation with a Fetlife stranger about consent. He had a nuanced understanding of kink ethics, so I labelled him “one of the good ones” and went on my way. Shortly after that, someone wrote to tell me he’d been accused of participating in a human trafficking ring.

This happens more often than you might think. One of the first friends I ever made on this site ended up being a registered sex offender. Only after Fetlife booted him from the site did I learn how ...