This is part 5 in an ongoing series. See part 4 here.
In the last episode:
i pat armada on the back and say, "you're an amazing friend and an even better barrister, armada. i will never forget this."
armada clears his throat and says, "i'd like to call my first witness to the stand." he glanced at me and winked. i knew what was coming,... 2020-10-13 16:17:01 +0000 UTC View Post
This is part 4 in an ongoing series. See part 3 here.
In the last episode:
hungrybox executed a mini pop-off, prematurely celebrating the implication of myles' comment. 2 of the jurors immediately burst into flames, exploding on contact. the judge asked hungrybox to please refrain from pop-offs until a verdict is reached.
hungrybox cleared his throat and sai... 2020-10-12 16:34:59 +0000 UTC View Post
This is part 3 in an ongoing series. See part 2 here:
armada turned to me and said, "leif, as your lawyer, i'm telling you this won't end well. this guy's gonna pack your ass in a gilded briefcase so hard you're not even going to comprehend the subtleties of this metaphor." armada was right, of course. i didn't under...
2020-10-08 15:57:35 +0000 UTC View PostThis is part 2 in an ongoing series. See part 1 here:
the date was august 14th 2019. i was wearing a pair air jordans, an autographed jersey from basketball legend "James (and the Giant Peach)", and my court-assigned handcuffs.
i couldn't believe what i was hearing in the courtroom. three counts of child ...
2020-10-07 16:34:04 +0000 UTC View Postthe judge announces that i am freed without bail based on my extraordinary gaming achievements. i turn to my parents and say, "fuck you for never believing in me." my parents breathe a sigh of relief. my mom rushes to hug me and says, "i'm just glad I have my leffen back."
i feel the handcuffs go back on. the judge says, "oh im sorry, we thought you were mang0." i told the judge not to worry, it's an honest mistake that happens all the time. i said that he can avoid making such mistake...
This is part 1 in a monthly Q&A with Patrons. Any Patron at the $9.00 tier or higher can ask DeepLeffen a question of their choosing. What follows is a list of the questions submitted in September by Patrons along with the curated DeepLeffen responses.
Q: What tournament is Deep Leffen most proud of?
A: The tournament I'm most proud of is "Hungrybox's Graveyard Jamboree" which Hungrybox made me attend instead of my father's funeral. Hungrybox pl...
2020-10-06 15:39:50 +0000 UTC View PostThis is a continuation of a story. See part one here before reading
On the last episode:
Big Chill is crowd-surfing but not moving anywhere. Nevertheless, he appears to be having a great time
Scar: Can you get off your phone for one fucking second Toph and just appreciate the moment?
...
2020-09-29 15:09:03 +0000 UTC View Postwhen society fails to give me a life worth living, i do what any sane person would do. i go out into the forest and make myself a “Mr. Mud” out of dirty trash and animal droppings. i do my best to make his life a bit better than my own before i execute him in front of Mrs. Mud. i bury him in the garden and give him a funeral. i ask my wife to say a few words. she says, “why can’t we go on vacation like a normal couple?” i get angrier than i should and say, “mr. mud died today, and...
2020-09-22 18:11:46 +0000 UTC View PostDeep Leffen: Hey everyone, welcome to another Smash with the Boyssss episode. For those of you who don't know me, I am Deep Leffen, owner and ranch hand at Smash with the Boyssss, a new podcast we started earlier this year to waste time as we count down the days until our inevitable demise. Today sitting in the Hot Seat is a very special guest indeed, Mr. Game & Watch (Made of Wood). How are you today, Mr. Game & Watch?
Mr. Game & Watch: Hel...
2020-09-21 17:53:16 +0000 UTC View PostMY PERFECT DATE: A FIST FULL OF SOUR PATCH KIDS, A CHUNK OF PEWTER, A MATCH BOX FILLED WITH KIDNEY STONES, AND A 1996 COPY OF READER RABBIT (SHAREWARE).
I PUT ON A COPY OF KAVINSKY'S NIGHTCALL. I'M DOING PUSH-UPS IN THE FUCKING KITCHEN THE MOMENT YOU WALK IN. I HAND YOU A CRISP $2.00 BILL AND A STACK OF PANCAKES SO HIGH YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE MY PERFECT PUSH-UP FORM. I SLAP A GAME GENIE OUT OF YOUR HAND BECAUSE I'M A REGISTERED E-GAMER. THE ONLY CHEAT CODE I NEED IS WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE, ...
Deep Leffen: Welcome back to Smash with the Boyssss, where we get nasty with some of our most beloved Smash players and personalities, asking them deep questions about video games, life, their thoughts on the Copenhagen Interpretation of Quantum Mechanics, and their sexual proclivities. I have with me in the studio MKLeo, who is currently ranked number one in the world for Super Smash Bros Ultimate. He was born and raised in Mexico, where, according to my notes, he once fough...
2020-09-14 14:08:47 +0000 UTC View PostThe most busted gimmick in smash is playing a character you love. Don't let anyone take that away from you.
2020-09-09 20:48:34 +0000 UTC View PostScar: It's your boy Scar on commentary and I'm joined by legendary Toph “Mufasa” Toph. Over the past few months, Super Smash Bros Melee legend William "Leffen" Hjelte AKA Big Leff has made a name for himself in the battle rap scene, taking out everybody in his wake. We are live at the studio now in what is being called the "War of the Words." Big Leff AKA Fox Privilege AKA Tech This AKA Ultra Instinct has just entered the battle arena and he appears to be fully torqued. 2020-09-08 17:47:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Toph and Scar enter the arena, their eyes alight with the same fervor they had watching the Grand Finals. The two warriors strut down the hallways, stepping past a tall, lanky figure that stands out from the crowd. Scar stops in his tracks and bows down to the floor.
Scar: "I'm not worthy of your presence, Emperor. I shall sacrifice Toph's life in honor of this glorious day."
Toph: "Scar, what the fuck? Get up. You're embarrassing me."
Toph ...
2020-09-08 16:39:48 +0000 UTC View Post