thehardtimes

Fanboys: Send Bad Music Plz

On this week’s distressingly competent episode of Fanboys, the boys discover the platonic ideal of “indie,” welcome their uncle back to the show, and snoop in someone’s diary. Since you’re a patron, you also get to hear them fight giant insects with some Indian punks and grind their teeth at an 80s rave. You will also be subjected to a musical number about talking spiders. You read that correctly, and no, it is too late to opt out. As always, if you want to guarantee a spot on the s...

The Provolone Ranger w/ Bob Mackey & Henry Gilbert

Hi Ho Paisanos! Mark and Jeremy are joined by What A Cartoon! and  Talking Simpsons cohosts Bob Mackey and Henry Gilbert to discuss this  week’s episode, which finds Mario becoming The Lone Ranger for no  discernible reason before rescuing his friends from Billy the Koopa. In  the live-action, the boys are tasked with babysitting Mrs. Periwinkle’s  pet fish and if you think they don’t murder it and then lie their way  into being paid for the job still, we h...

The Hard Times Podcast w/ Kelen Capener (The Story So Far)

Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast. Kelen Capener of The Story So Far joins Matt and Bill to talk Mike Judge, first kisses, Mormonism, and getting corrupted for life by the Offspring. And so much Bay Area talk. 

The Pitch Group Episode 35: Rob Steinberg

Description-The  Pitch Group podcast is joined by filmmaker and editor, Rob Steinberg.  Check out Stobreinber.com for more of Rob’s work and Please subscribe to  TPG podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc. & consider becoming a patron  of our podcast network at patreon.com/thehardtimes.

Fanboys: Roast of The Hard Times - Part 2

On this week’s episode of Fanboys, the guys make one last desperate attempt to get fired by roasting their fellow Hard Times contributors. Here’s hoping it works - it would save me having to type this shit up every week. Since you’re a Patron, you get to hear the Fanboys endanger their careers by making fun of Matt’s old band. As always, if you want to guarantee a spot on the show, send some music to edgartowner@gmail.com. Finally, be sure to check out this week’s featured artists: ...

Legend of Zelda: Hitch in the Works

Soooooo the only way you can find this week’s live action episode is either in extremely poor quality, or in German. So Mark and Jeremy are stuck between a rock and a schwer place (that’s German for “hard,” I googled it). As best as they can tell, Mario and Luigi find a treasure map in their apartment, and invite Inspector Gadget to come over and help them figure it out. Yeah, that sounds about right. In the animated Zelda episode, Ganon realizes about halfway through that nothing par...

The Hard Times Podcast w/ Patrick Kindlon (Drug Church)

Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast! Patrick Kindlon from Drug Church joins Matt and Bill in our longest episode to date. So long I didn’t have time to write a full intro but they talk a lot about the Bay Area vs LA. 

Pitch Group Episode 34: Steve Esparra

The Pitch Group podcast is joined  by family man and  suburban punk, Steve Esparra. Check out SteveEsparra.com for more of  Steve’s work and Please subscribe to TPG podcast on iTunes, Spotify,  etc. & consider becoming a patron of our podcast network at patreon.com/thehardtimes

Fanboys: Mumblegaze

On this week’s descriptive and adjectival episode of Fanboys, the boys fire their bassist, give the scoop on incest, and go on a shoegaze bender. We regret to inform you, however, that Ty and Diego somehow managed to sneak some harmonicas into the studio, and that becomes a problem. But don’t worry: they have been punished accordingly. Since you’re a Patron, you get to hear the boys scream at their children and do some punk stuff with Satan. You can’t even believe how lucky you are! A...

Plummers Academy

An episode so good, they made a typo in the title! In today’s very ambitious episode of The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!, Mark and Jeremy get an origin story about Mario and Luigi’s formative years in Basic Draining under the tutelage of Drain Sergeant Kooperman. It’s just like the army. No really, Luigi kills a guy with a bayonet and starts freaking out. I’m just kidding, what actually happens is they save the president using plumbing and he gives them a golden plunger that gets stu...

The Hard Times Podcast w/ Sammy Siegler (Youth Of Today)

Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast. Sammy Siegler from many, many, many, many bands joins Matt and Bill to talk about audio mishaps, Santa Clause throwing Chicken Nuggets, touring with Hare Krishna gurus, being in Limp Biscuit for a moment, and seeing GG Allin once. 

The Pitch Group Episode 33: Shea Strauss

Self-Proclaimed nerd writer Shea Strauss joins the Pitch Group podcast to talk writing for multiple places, feeling like a poseur and Shadow Pat! Please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc. 

Fanboys: Roast of Hard Drive

On this week’s upscaled and antialiased episode of Fanboys, the guys hold gamers accountable for their many crimes by roasting their fellow Hard Drive contributors. We here at The Hard Times would like to state for the record that we consider video games to be shameful and evil, and we’re happy to finally be putting them in their place. And as a Patron, you get a special treat: stick around to hear the Fanboys subject themselves to an honest-to-god Legend of Zelda rock opera. It’s the g...

Elvin Lives w/ Kevin Flynn

Hard Drive editor Kevin Flynn joins Mark and Jeremy to talk about today’s adventure to Sockhop Land, where Koopa the Kool kidnaps Princess Toadstool in an attempt to get her to go steady with him. This, of course, means that Mario and Luigi have to put Elvis’ living, talking shoes onto his feet so that he may become unfrozen. Then everyone has a big nice car race. In the live action segment, Mario and Luigi get out of the plumbing game and relaunch their careers as radio DJs known as The ...

The Hard Times Podcast w/ Tim Kasher (Cursive)

Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast! Tim Kasher, frontman of Cursive, joins Matt and Bill today talk Tom Petty, screenwriting and then we bully Tim for going on Jonah Ray’s podcast. Catch Cursive on tour starting next week https://cursivetheband.com/shows

The Pitch Group Episode 32: Jonah Nink

Jonah Nink is taking a break from all of the many things that fill his time! We discuss his multiple bands, his time on college radio and of course, hard times. Please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc. 

Fanboys: Nobody Punks on the Hulkster

On this week’s trippy and horny episode of Fanboys, the boys dunk on Hulk Hogan, drop acid while watching the news, and do some good old-fashioned self-diagnosis. They also do a whole ton of shouting. Like, we get it, you’re happy to be back, but just… fucking cool it, guys. Whatever. Onto the Patreon Perks: since you have so generously given us your hard-earned money, you get to hear the boys get barked at by anarchists and just kinda chill out and vibe on some shit. It’s a lot more ...

Listener Questions

We took a break from watching The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! to answer your questions about all sorts of shit! We cover many, many questions about which Mario characters we would like to fuck the most, who we would cast as who, how our lives are going, and more. Plus, we play the legendary clip where Captain Lou Albano says that if you do drugs you will "go to Hell before you die." Happy new year, paisanos!

The Hard Times Podcast w/ No One

It’s the first episode of 2020 and to celebrate Matt and Bill brought instead they read their favorite headlines of the year, then play a game of traffic golf to see where our readers are from and tell a very funny story about a vegan cake. They also talk about countries and get so many things wrong it’s deeply embarrassing, so I’m forever shaming them in the description. 

The Pitch Group Episode 31: Pat George

Pat is pulling double duty for this episode of the Pitch Group Podcast. Find out Pat’s history in bands, comedy, podcasts & the Hard Times!! Please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc. 

Fanboys: Roast of The Hard Times - Part 1

On this week’s long-delayed episode of Fanboys, the guys celebrate Edgar’s horrific and untimely death by roasting their fellow Hard Times contributors. On a real note, big thanks to everyone who reached out to wish Edgar a speedy recovery. We missed our chance to send him to an early grave this time, but given his lifestyle, we’ll have plenty of other opportunities going forward. You know the drill: since you’re a Patron, you get to hear the Fanboys endanger their careers by making f...

The Great Gold Coin Rush

Today’s animated segment takes place in the Wild Wild West (neither the show nor the movie) and Mark and Jeremy agree that it is an episode of television in which things happen. In the live action segment, Luigi gets zonked on the fuckin’ head and wakes up thinking he’s a game show host. It’s horrifying. Luckily, Mario has legendary game show host Jim Lange’s phone number and he gets him to come do some kind of exorcism. Come for the Mario breakdown, stay for the discussions of soup...

The Hard Times Podcast w/ Scott Crawford (Salad Days)

Filmmaker Scott Crawford calls into the show to talk about Ian Mackaye’s secret diet, classify different skinheads and his newest film about Creem magazine. 

The Pitch Group Episode 30: James Knapp

Poet and self-proclaimed “indoor kid” James Knapp joins the show in person, live! Please enjoy hearing Eric make eye contact for the first time as James tells us about finding and joking the Hard Times. Please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc. 

Headlines for the Holidays

Hello everyone, we here at The Hard Times/Hard Drive hope you are having a wonderful time pretending to enjoy the company of your family. For all you $10 Patrons here is the updated list of headlines to pose. If you see something you like you can claim it by emailing bill@thehardtimes.net for a Hard Times headline or jeremy@thehardtimes.net for a Hard Drive headline. This is first come first served. Dig in.

Hard Times Headlines email bill@thehardtimes.net to claim 2019-12-24 20:37:48 +0000 UTC View Post