This week on The Pitch Group we talk with Hard Times contributor and senior writer at Cracked.Com, Jordan Breeding. Make sure to follow his band at skywardband.com and as always, thanks for listening! Please subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc.
2019-07-17 08:09:40 +0000 UTC View PostOver the last couple months, the Fanboys have nearly run out of music to listen to/shit on, so they’re putting out a new call for submissions. And because you’re a Patreon subscriber, you get to skip the line: if you send a link to your Bandcamp/Spotify/whatever page to edgartowner@gmail.com, you are guaranteed to get a spot on an upcoming episode of Fanboys, no matter how much you suck. In fact, the shittier, t...
2019-07-16 15:30:00 +0000 UTC View Post
This week on Fanboys, the guys rush to the defense of a beleaguered Bruce Springsteen, reluctantly crown a second Hall of Famer, and debate the true meaning of “goth.” This is another long one, and for good reason: since you’re a generous, talented, and attractive Patreon subscriber, you get access to an in-depth discussion of the most productive types of toxic relationships for artists as well as a disastrous attempt at a poetry reading. You’re so lucky! While you’re at it, be sure...
2019-07-16 07:36:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Today’s episode makes a whole bunch of no sense. Mario and Luigi go fishing, even though they have plans to go to the big plumber’s hoedown later that night. All the prettiest girls in Brooklyn will be there, you see. As soon as they leave, their apartment is invaded by their southern cousins, Mario Joe and Luigi Bob. You’re probably not going to believe this, but in the four minutes that they’re house sitting for the boys, Donna Douglas from The Beverly Hillbillies shows ...
2019-07-15 13:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast! Matt and Bill are joined by Rotting Out’s Walter Delgado to talk about prison and weight training. You know, light stuff.
2019-07-11 12:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
This week on The Pitch Group we talk with stand up comedian and musician Kevin Tit. From Hawaii, to Germany, to Washington DC, Kevin has experienced punk and comedy all over the world. He is the author the hit articles “I Want to Eat the Rich but Like Are There Vegan Options” and hosts the legendary Punk House Comedy monthly show in DC. Follow Kevin @notkevintit. Subscribe to the podcast on iTunes, Spotify, etc. and become a patron of our podcast network at patreon.com/thehardtimes.
2019-07-10 12:59:59 +0000 UTC View Post
This week, the Fanboys insult at least two beautiful countries, commiserate with derivative pop-punk bands, and dig up a seven-year-old metal murder case. They also give Johnny Depp and Alice Cooper the business and air some old grievances about band break-ups. And because you’re giving us that sweet, sweet Patreon money, you also get to hear the boys roast a fellow Hard Timer and express some frankly unnecessary opinions about aspect ratios. Wow! Be sure to check out this week’s featured...
2019-07-09 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
The great Ashley Oh from The Polygon Show joins the pasta paisanos to discuss this intricately plotted homage to Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s masterpiece Herlock Solmes. Professor Kooparity has enslaved Princess Toadstool’s people (?) so they need the help of the world’s greatest detective (??) to free them by insulting Koopa for holding the world record for failing kindergarten the most times (???). In the live action, Mario and Luigi win the award for Plumber of the Year, which is most ce...
2019-07-08 07:06:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of the Hard Times Podcast. No guests this week as Matt and Bill talk breaking edge, gush over their favorite MMA fighters, how cops are bad and lazy, and old man Bill teaches Matt how to play satanic messages on records.
2019-07-04 07:00:51 +0000 UTC View Post
This week on The Pitch Group we talk with comedian, musician, and meme pioneer Tiana Miller. She is the author of the hit article Doom Metal Band Asks if They Have Time for One More Chord along with several viral HT memes. Follow her on Instagram @tianathegoblin.
2019-07-03 06:01:23 +0000 UTC View Post
This week, the Fanboys jam out to a Ford commercial, create a new genre called “trucker punk,” and wonder why indie musicians are so into Asian women. The guys went a little long this week, but you can’t rush art. And they actually did make art - because you’re a beautiful, generous Patreon subscriber, you get to hear the extended cut of the episode, which features an honest-to-god grunge song that the Fanboys wrote and recorded for no real reason. Incredible! Be sure to check out thi...
2019-07-02 14:23:11 +0000 UTC View Post
In a story inspired by the hit 1987 film Three Plumbers and a Baby, Mario, Luigi, and Toad all learn the very obvious lesson that they are in no way equipped to care for a child, after a freak accident in the Kingdom of Youth turns Princess Toadstool into an infant. The episode’s setting inspires Mark and Jeremy to ponder life, death, and whether or not they’d be able to convince people they were from 2019 if they ever travelled through time. They also agree that this episode is an ...
2019-07-01 14:00:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast! Jonathan Diener of The Swellers and Baggage joins Matt and Bill to talk craft coffee, playing music with misophonia, how to properly pronounce tinnitus (it’s not great), polyamourous bands, sleeping on the shelves of a Walmart, the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, and the sweet, sweet sound of sucking sauce of your fingers.
2019-06-27 07:31:47 +0000 UTC View PostHello everyone,
Thanks for the continued support, we have a new crop of headlines for your viewing pleasure. Also, we are bringing Metal Week back, long time fans will remember Metal Week as the most satanic and extreme week of satire to ever exist. Keep your eyes peeled for that.
Give the headlines below a look, if you see a Hard Drive headline you like email jeremy@thehardtimes.net, if you see a Hard Times headlines email bill@thehardtimes.n...
This week on The Pitch Group we talk with LA-based stand up comedian, actor, podcast host, and writer Brendan Krick. He has penned such hit articles as, These 5 Skrewdriver Songs Are Totally Problematic Now, Tattooed Barber Excited to Give Everyone That One Haircut Today, and It’s 2018 and It’s Time for Women of Color to Be Represented in Our Marriage. Listen to the podcast on iTunes and Spotify. Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/thehardtimes. Follow Brendan Krick on instagram @brendan...
2019-06-26 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s only the second episode, and a rift is already growing between the Fanboys. On one side: Diego. On the other: people with normal human feet. This week, the boys argue about penny whistles vs. synthesizers, tell legends of Fat Mike, and unearth Edgar’s repressed rivethead past. And good news: since you’re a patron, you also get exclusive access to a stunning piece of stoner punk poetry as well as an emotional plea to keep Mother Earth sticky sticky dank dank. Lucky you! Be sure to c...
2019-06-25 12:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
YouTube all-star Jirard Khalil (The Completionist) joins us to discuss another legendary Legend of Zelda episode! Ganon sets off an evil plan to trick Link into turning into a frog by rescuing a woman and kissing her, even though she’s actually a mummy. That’s the actual premise of this episode and it’s not even the silliest part! Plus, in the live action, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark shows up to mostly insult Luigi after Mario turns HIM into a mummy. Lots of mummy-related hijinks in th...
2019-06-24 07:23:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast. Matt and Bill talk poker, dads and personal white whales, and that’s even before their interview with Terror front man Scott Vogel! They talk about how they listen to more podcasts then music, the downfall of Sword and Scale, stem cell injections, ozone injections and making breakfast while legally dead.
2019-06-20 11:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
John Danek is a comedy writer, musician, and web developer/producer for Team Coco. He’s written hit articles including Just Because I’m a Pantera Fan Doesn’t Mean I’m a Felon. But
Yeah, I Am a Felon, Wow! This Coffee Shop Uses La Croix For Pour Over And You Actually Believed This You Hipster Scum, and 5 Post Hardcore Albums That Just Remind Us We’re Not Listening to “Relationship of Command.” Listen to The Pitch Group podcast on iTunes, Spotify and anywhere else you listen t...
Louie Aronowitz is a film score composer and musician who wrote hit articles including Benefit Concert to Save Guitar Center Features 97 Dudes Playing “Sweet Child O’ Mine,” Punk Dad Bribes Community College Admissions With Billions In Exposure, and Goldfinger Patiently Awaits Reboot of Tony Hawk Franchise. We talk comedy, punk, and how he turned down an offer to score the controversial film “Loqueesha.”
2019-06-19 14:58:50 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome to The Pitch Group, the official behind the scenes Hard Times podcast. This week’s guest is comedy writer and Hard Times contributor Lauren Lavin, the author of countless hit articles such as
https://thehardtimes.net/hardstyle/what-almost-talking-to-a-poor-taught-me-about-rent-control/,2019-06-19 14:47:20 +0000 UTC
View Post
Welcome to Fanboys, a show where Hard Times contributors Edgar, Ty, and Diego listen to YOUR music and try to say something nice about it! In the first FULL episode (a Patreon exclusive!), the Fanboys compare melting rock stars, crown their first Hall of Famer (on a technicality), and start the world’s premier acapella drone band. Check out this week’s featured artists: Pencil Pusher (https://pencilpusher.bandc...
2019-06-18 11:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post
“Hey, did we do pirates yet?” he asked the room full of Mario writers, to no response. “Fuck it." And with that, today’s episode of The Super Mario Bros Super Show was born. On today’s program, Magic Johnson returns for the first ever repeat celebrity cameo and it’s exactly as awkward as his first appearance, most likely due to both of these segments clearly being filmed in the same hurried afternoon. This one has something to do with a trophy. It’s honestly hard to tell. And th...
2019-06-17 11:00:00 +0000 UTC View PostHey everyone,
Here we go again with another round of headlines. If you see a Hard Drive headline you like email jeremy@thehardtimes.net, if you see a Hard Times headline you like email Bill@thehardtimes.net. All of it is first come first serve. Thanks for being part of the team. Also, have you listened to our new podcast The Pitch Group? One of our editors Eric Navarro talks with Hard Times contributors about all things comedy. You can find it here: 2019-06-14 04:57:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of The Hard Times Podcast! Chris Dodge of Spazz, Angry White Boys and Slap A Ham records joins the guys to talk about punk roots, hanging with GG Allin BEFORE the show, and Chris gets indoctrinated into the Hard Times Pitch Group LIVE AND ON AIR!
2019-06-13 14:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Woolie Madden (Castle Super Beast, Woolie Versus) joins us to discuss Mario and the gang's descent into the dark and spooky TURTLEVANIA! King Koopula and his tomato sauce-sucking vampires chase after Mario and Luigi set to an inexplicable cover of Michael Jackson's Thriller. Did they even get the rights to that or did they just shrug and say "fuck it"? In the live action, Luigi learns how to make objects disappear from the help of famous(?) magician Harry Blackstone Jr, but accidentally uses ...
2019-06-10 14:41:56 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of the Hard Times Podcast. No guest this week as Matt and Bill recap Punk Rock Bowling! They talk about all the bands they saw and Matt talks about poker and hookers so, ya know, business as usual.
2019-06-06 15:00:00 +0000 UTC View PostHello everyone,
If you take a gander down below you will see all the headlines open for posing. If you see a Hard Drive headline you want to pose email jeremy@thehardtimes.net. For a Hard Times headline email bill@thehardtimes.net. These are all first come first serve, so if you see something you like email right away and we can talk over more details. Thank you for the continued support.
Comedian and writer Mike Drucker (The Tonight Show, Full Frontal with Samantha Bee) joins us for a very special episode as we break all the rules that we made up and reach ahead to an episode of the Super Mario Bros 3 cartoon. And if that’s a problem, you need to blame that shit on the rain because this episode rules. Koopa kidnaps Milli Vanilli right out of their big Shea Stadium gig to try and get his niece to stop complaining. One problem though, Koopa’s kidnapped Princess Toadstool’...
2019-06-03 12:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's your ad free episode of the Hard Times Podcast. Brace Belden stops by from fighting for freedom and unions to talk to Matt and Bill about Kurds, beer unions and ISIS. Yes that ISIS.
2019-05-30 07:04:00 +0000 UTC View Post