"Don't call me 'sir.' Call me 'my lord.'"
"Of course, my lord."
Harry smiled. "That's more like it."
A group of soldiers rushed off to presumably get the Tesseract.
Harry turned back to the scientists. "Do any of you have any explosive-making tips? At the moment, I mainly make nitroglycerin because the fumes smell nice and I accidentally made a few tonnes of nitric acid so decided to buy a few tonnes of sulphuric acid."
The soldiers in the room all seemed to...
Loki-Two had no time to react, to realise that his attacker knew every one of his weaknesses, every backdoor that he had made.
Harry sifted through Loki's thoughts and, once he found the memories relating to the sceptre, followed the trail, and he was suddenly in a world of blue—a place not of this world, or of any other of the Nine Realms, for that matter.
A humanoid stood before him, seven feet tall and inhumanly muscled, his shoulders broad and his skin blue. Even in the me...
Loki apparently wasn't expecting that—or for the spear to be carved with Asgardian symbols. The spear met his sceptre with a clang.
Using his longer weapon's greater reach, Harry twisted his weapon downwards, bringing it slashing across Loki's shoulder.
Before it could damage him too deeply, Loki stepped sideways, immediately lashing out with his sceptre, catching Harry's spear between the two blades out the end and attempting to twist it from his grip.
When the spear ...
"Uh…"
"I'm just kidding, Cap. I had no idea who you were when I was a child and the only man I'm sexually attracted to is myself. You're far too blond for me." Harry caught sight of his reflection in a window and abruptly remembered he currently had blond hair. "Ah… You see, I'm not usually blond. I can just shapeshift because I'm a demigod with a god complex and a god with a god complex in my head." He paused. "Magic helps."
'I don't think it's a god complex if you're a god...
'As troubling as the concept seems, maybe. It could be that another one of my soul's fragments survived and simply had more luck getting its own body.'
'How would they do that? We looked for years, and the best lead we got was Voldemort's ritual—and that wouldn't have worked.'
'I have no clue. Perhaps this attack is meant to attract the attention of any other Lokis.'
Harry shook his head. 'No, that can't be. You'd be far too arrogant to believe that any part except you ...
"Special circumstances," the second one said.
Harry grinned. "Glad I could be an inconvenience." He glanced over the edge of the building. "I assume it goes straight up, seeing as there isn't a runway." He held out a hand. "Wait! Don't tell me! I want it to be a surprise."
With that, he climbed abroad. Slightly to Harry's disappointment, the plane went straight upwards instead of driving forward and plunging towards the ground in a ball of fiery death and twisted metal. It rose ...
He let broken handcuffs fall off and wandlessly conjured a piece of paper and a pen, and then scrawled down a phone number. Tracking it wouldn't work—he had managed to create a small portal, so to speak, so the phone actually connected to a random radio tower in the middle of rural New Zealand, no matter where it was. And if they happened to damage said radio tower…well, they would get to "test" his homemade explosives.
He glanced at his wrist. "Well, look at the time. I've been aw...
'I'm pretty sure they're the most common names in the world. Well, it's either Lee or Wang as the most common surname, but Muhammad Wang would just sound silly.'
"I know what you're thinking," Harry said. "Why is a white guy who speaks perfect Italian called Muhammad Wang? I mean, 'why is a white guy who speaks perfect Italian called Muhammad Lee?' Well, the answer is that I was conceived during a foursome including my mother, a white guy, an Arab, and a Chinese guy, and since I came o...
They cared not; they had done it before, after all. Why would Asgard be very different to Jotunheim? Well, they worried that perhaps a magical item too strong would stop them. But, still, they did not halt their efforts.
And a moment later, it all paid off. In a brilliant flash of light, a hybrid of a Portkey and realm-crossing portal activated, and magic surged around them, exploding runes and flinging dirt everywhere. A metre in front of Harry sat his prize: Mjolnir. Luckily, it had ...
Finally, he turned his clothes into a black business suit, conjured himself a pair of sunglasses, and cast an illusion that would age him slightly, so he appeared to be in his mid-twenties.
They were a backup plan; he didn't plan on being seen at all.
He buried his broomstick under a foot of sand and made towards the crash site, going over his plan.
He had an idea as to what he might do to Mjolnir as to prevent Thor from getting it, but he knew he couldn't do it now.
"Anyway, can you get on with that Portkey making? And this one better not leave me stranded in a graveyard in the middle of nowhere." He winked at Barty Crouch Jr.
"That's where I totally killed Lord Voldemort, by the way. I doubt you'll have time to visit it and leave him some flowers before Dumbledore executes you as not to reveal that he is so incompetent he let a Death Eater pretend to be a teacher for a year."
With a sigh, Dumbledore murmured, "Portus." The spell made a qu...
Sorry for not updating for a while. Things were quite bad this week, so I wasn't able to upload anything here. But I am here and upload will start regularly now. Chapter is coming in a just a while.
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2023-12-22 14:50:09 +0000 UTC View Post