nymphowarsxxx

today's club ellen will be a late upload

probably around 9 or 10pm EST — apologies to people with urgent household chores!

NOVEMBER PLAYLIST

Leaves crunch underfoot. Asses slip out of pants. Hot Toddies get poured. Some say the entrance to the woods is haunted, but really there's an old lady stuck behind a fence who's been surviving off of yak meat deliveries and charging her phone with a stripped wire from a streetlight. Her name is Behinda Fence. Biden is pardoning all the turkeys this year because of a clerical error. Many grocery stores won't be able to to keep stock of stock because the chickens are refusing to be juiced. Bea...

CLUB ELLEN - NOVEMBER 16, 2024

get your it’s very nice to meet you’s out, it’s time for club ELLEN + who’s that singing from the rafters of eurovision? why it’s miss loreen of course + this year’s musical finale Emilia Perez is a nostalgic return to pre-woked trans storytelling  + news in, discretion out + an apartment has been gotten of by theda + therapist didn’t keep their discretion out + andy cohen identity theft + trump has promised that the dr. seuss cartoons will all be real, like spiderma...

TOPICS FOR TOMORROW?

do people have topics they want discussed....?!?!?! chime in BELOW...

NOTHING'S REALLY AQUAMARINE

Download Link:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1y8ZVGBprlryO6b9gSfU-4McDexeMqpH8/view?usp=drive_link

CLUB COCONUT - NOVEMBER 9, 2024

SORRY SORRY SORRY TO UPLOAD LATE.....!!!!! LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

CLUB ELLEN - NOVEMBER 2, 2024

DESCRIPTION 2 CUM...SORRY GOTTA RUN OUT THE DOOR

CLOSER DISEASE

Happy Halloween! Keep Curing That Disease!

....

Candy & Willie

CLUB DISEASE - OCTOBER 26, 2024

HOURLONG DISEASE POSTMORTEM / MACY IN MONTREAL / APARTMENT SEARCH / SHOUT OUT TO DAVID CHANG / GAY DIVORCED FRIENDS / TORI AND THE MUSES / EFFEMINATE LUMBERJACKS

CLUB ROOM - October 19, 2024

Rick & Tori!!! The time has come to BEATTO ourselves OFF in the glorious acoustic space of CLUB ROOM! We have Beattomania, Beatlemania, and Breillatmania and we're diving back into a bit o the ole SUBSTANCE! We want your ugly, we want your DISEASE, and our Thanksgiving candies are gonna knock your socks off!

OCTOBER PLAYLIST

Angela entered the graveyard at 5:00 pm. It was supposed to be closed by then but the maintenance guy took his time closing up on Thursdays because his daughter would call around 4:00 but then he still had to mow half of the massive lawn. Some old timey music played from the equipment shed, barely audible above the scream of the mower. Angela tried to look nonchalant as she hugged the side of the shed, Mission: Impossible style, to avoid being caught after hours. Once the sentinel was far eno...

Live From C'mon Everybody: "Franny à Deux: A Tale of 2 Frans"

Recording of our live show from C'mon Everybody this week!!! "Nymphowars/KNFW is back with a Halloween spectacular that will disgust your socks off. Seen The Substance? This is 50 times grosser! Theda and Macy are joined by Fran Lebowitz and…Fran Lebowitz?? Folie A Deux indeed."

LIVE SHOW! NYC!

TICKETS

7:00 Dress Rehearsal (Discounted) 9:00 Show

Nymphowars/KNFW is back with a Halloween spectacular that will disgust your socks off. Seen The Substance? This is 50 times grosser! Theda and Macy are joined by Fran Lebowitz and…Fran Lebowitz?? Folie A Deux indeed.

CLUB ROOM - OCTOBER 5, 2024

ELLEN! JOKER! YOGHURT! It's all covered today in club room, the acoustic counterpart to Ellen's techno focused club!

WORLD ON A STRING (VENUS REMIX)

HARLENQUISSANCE VOL. 1

discussing the latest from our mortal enemy

MINI CLUB

hi everybody — this ep was recorded last monday because of travel logistics, so it is short and out of date. we understand there has been a great deal of BREAKING NEWS this week and are going to record and release something right away for release on Monday — but here is stuff to hold you over for now...thank you and please keep Being That Yourselves...

CLUB ELLEN - SEPTEMBER 20, 2024

it's midnight in europe — theda’s in london having a shrek experience (actually it might be called “shrek’s adventure”? apologies) + steve-o is having a breast experience + never go to picadilly circus + big toe costume to protect from thrown tomato (mispronounced) + cock sucking at panto with graham norton + LG7 leak and bootleg review + stick your dick in the top of the barrel + pork and pig wrapped dates at the pen + we “wowched” UGLIES + lady gaga loves false breasts + maril...

CLUB ELLEN - SEPTEMBER 14, 2024

DESCRIPTION 2 CUM....SORRY IT'S A TRAVEL DAY!

SEPTEMBER PLAYLIST

"How do you pronounce that??!!!" The teacher yells over an overcrowded classroom. "MAY-SEE! Like the store!" a 5 year old shouts from a desk tucked in the back corner of the room. The entire class turns around shocked to hear such a young voice in a senior high school class. "Whoah, what the fuck are you doing here, kid?" the teacher yells, dismayed. "I mean...eh...hey! Where is your mommy, little girl?" The precocious tot rolls her eyes at this dilettante. "This fool is meant to be my instru...

CLUB ELLEN - SEPTEMBER 7, 2024

get your stories out, it’s time to heal + briefly mentioned: art is alive and well in chinatown + we called it “going to to parties” + macy’s proud new membership (in sag) + hawk trash + at the end of the day katy perry is a mother + god and christianity are alive and well in the suburbs + michelle phan’s proud new membership (in podcast) + gaga for malala + tati is a drunk + theda’s sober lifestyle + michelle “fan” is no “fan” at all, or she ...

MIDNIGHT ELLEN - AUGUST 31, 2024

have you Chelsea’d lately? + nate’s dad’s son is the frankenstein for our times + are you a gaslighter? are you a big-timer? are you ready for a return to the theater of the mind? + fuhyu-icka dayahdoyay + 2016 choking and slapping era + longlegs lives behind the second hole + there is no penetration in the theater of the mind + dopamine spike reduction through non imagining of dick + the new big thing in pox: clocky pox + why can’t angelina jolie be in a good movie? + brad pitt cock ...

CLUB ELLEN - AUGUST 24, 2024

we are working around the clock + joy in the room + boomer goon + excuse me i'm hawking twah + ice spice says what even is ozempic? + the art of celebrity plastic surgery denial + should ellen marry john mulaney + amanda lear says what even is trans? + why french women don't get fat? because like theda — they love to smoke cigarettes + viktor & rolf privacy curtain for around the clock smoking and eating (you can take it with you!) + magazine minute!!! + the beautiful paintings of the N...

G.U.Y. WITH A SMILE

recorded an emergency Zoom call regarding you know who — HARLENE QUINZEL herself, and TS Bruno Mars... giving the latest in A.I. generated press release aggregators and lyrical analysis for the new song and music video DIE WITH A SMILE — music videos are back...

CLUB ELLEN - AUGUST 17, 2024

wayne that coin miley + james charles news + katy perry on the dunes + issuing a retraction on the Vim Wand + stroking it in the theater of the mind + angel of your dreams says “i love you” + delta “olympic” werk guesses all five sodas + goon coded diet pepsi summer + gay coded hyperbolic world decline + the prototypical trump stan moment + it’s really fucking interesting how i got pea soup on my shirt + diet coke? drink themed song… + drawing a big circle of twigs and leaves + th...

AUGUST PLAYLIST

The air warps from heat rising off the pavement in the wavy last weeks of August. Relief becomes hardest to find out of all the summer months as July's rainstorms dissipate and the blaring sun reigns supreme. Steady beats punch through the thick air and infectious melodies seek refuge above the clouds where it's cool. Muscle cars in dayglo shades can't avoid the slog of South Beach traffic and the start up bros who drive them blast hits from a bygone era in a grasp at an authentic experience....

CLUB ELLEN - AUGUST 10, 2024

the sars curse S.A.D. edition / does anybody still get a malware? / run with merrit weaver bridge / fleaby waller bag / winning the global cock sweepstakes at the olympics /  trans in sports? / what’s gross? / svengali culture of the nineties / what lies beneath the trellis of Kamala Harris / power passion and murder / Oh, Mary on Broadway / austerity comedy at the Cherry Lane / “dramas are hard” / plane jane Tár / macy’s drag race audition / why can’t drag race lip sync be li...

CLUB ELLEN — AUGUST 03, 2024

act of contrition / gaga does the french can can / celine dion lip syncing / showbusiness vs. olympic sports / madonna cobra face / tati's lawsuit is finally over, and winter olympics are where it's at for her / marketeen, packageen / macy as the angel of the club / macy's ROAD trip / m night shyamalan's TRAP (masterpiece) / sean baker ANORA trailer / movie trailers are all bad / hawk-twah and a visit from Celine Dion / hotter and hotter /