tonygoldmark

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! Agatha Vs. Doggans

Available eighteen hours early for my Patreon patrons!

As I said in the intro to the Man of the House episode, I gotta take this week off to give myself time to catch up (and hopefully stay caught up) before Patreon Request Month (still eight more days to submit requests btw!) but in the meantime, here's an extended outtake - a much longer version of the "Agatha bugging Doggans" bit from the Man of the House episode!

Escape From Vault Disney #90: "Man of the House"

UPDATE: It's done! (Those of you who already listened to the almost-finished version and wanna skip straight to the closing segments MIGHT also wanna skip to the 56:05 and 1:00:50 marks too.)

This week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Charlie Callahan inexplicably throws away the one and only Guest's Choice episode he'll ever get on a deservedly-obscure Disney "comedy" from 1995 that's equal parts boring and racist, in whic...

August will be PATREON REQUEST MONTH!!! Help support a good cause! (UPDATE: Request lines are CLOSED!)

UPDATE!!! Annnnd, the request lines are CLOSED! Thank you all so much for your requests and your loyal patronage, and best of luck to all of you!

That's right my beloved patrons, August 2022 will be Escape From Vault Disney's third annual PATREON REQUEST MONTH! We had it in September the last two years, but this year I'm moving it to August!

That means, from now until Wednesday, July 20th, I encourage you all to submit REQUESTS for any movie, TV episode, TV special or series of ...

Escape From Vault Disney #89: "Strange Magic"

UPDATE: It is done!

This week, as Tony returns from his impromptu hard drive crash-induced mini-hiatus, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2015 to pick the last film (as of now) that the legendary George Lucas was personally involved with, an animated fairy tale with a story devised by Lucas himself combining his love of mythic fantasy with his penchant for subversive genre fusion...only this time, for some bizarre reason he combined the plots and/or aesthetics of Beauty and the B...

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! My Scrooge McDuck Song (or: Jungle Animal Rescue can't be rescued)

Available twelve hours early for my Patreon patrons!

As you know if you've been following my recent tweets, unfortunately due to severe technical difficulties I have no choice but to declare my Jungle Animal Rescue episode a lost episode. Instead, have a minisode this week featuring a song I recorded about Scrooge McDuck in the late 2000s, plus a teaser for what next week's episode WILL be!

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! Even More Outtakes!

Escape From Vault Disney will be back next week with a full episode on NatGeo's Jungle Animal Rescue, but in the meantime here's a BONUS MINISODE featuring various outtakes from the Luck of the Irish, Behind the Attraction, Encanto, Alice In Wonderland and Hawkeye episodes!

Escape From Vault Disney #88: "Alice In Wonderland (1951)"

UPDATE: It is done!

This week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Alessandra Dreyer "makes" us watch a 1951 classic from the Disney Animated Canon, a heartwarming tale about a little girl who enters an incredible fantasy world and spends about an hour and change getting harassed, bullied, trolled, gaslit, demonized, psychologically tortured, nearly burned alive and nearly decapitated by a seemingly endless string of sociopathi...

Escape From Vault Disney #87: "Ducktales (2017) S2E11: The Golden Spear!"

UPDATE: It's finished!

This week, as Tony returns from his impromptu COVID-induced mini-hiatus, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to pick an episode of perhaps one of the top ten animated nostalgia reboot series about talking ducks to feature aliens, zombies, Greek Gods, slap bracelets, and magical shadow dimensions ruled by superintelligent goats. And that's all just in this episode. Join Tony Goldmark, Alessandra Dreyer, Morgan Funder and David Ganssle as they grab onto so...

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! Star Wars Episode Outtakes

Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!

Escape From Vault Disney will return with a full new episode next week, but in the meantime, here's a BONUS MINISODE of some canon-breaking outtakes from our Star Wars episode from a few weeks ago, featuring Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Morgan Funder and Luke Ski!

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! Agatha Vs. Technology

Available twelve hours early to my Patreon patrons!

Escape From Vault Disney will be back with new episodes in June after Tony fully recovers from COVID, but in the meantime, here's a BONUS MINISODE of an extended outtake of the behind-the-scenes shenanigans of our Luck of the Irish episode, featuring Tony Goldmark, David Ganssle, Zach Hurst, Cassie Shima and Agatha Vile!

2022-05-18 08:46:29 +0000 UTC View Post

Escape From Vault Disney #86: "Impact with Gal Gadot S1E3-4: The Ripple Effect/Coming Home" (with Anarkee!)

UPDATE: It's done!

Y'know, as I've said before in these episode descriptions, doing this podcast can be a precarious endeavor sometimes. Some weeks, we get to watch ridiculous oddities like The Luck of the Irish or delightful obscure gems like Life With Mikey...and then there's weeks like this one, when the almighty randomizer sees fit to say "Hey look, two episodes of a made-for-YouTube NatGeo documentary series from last year about the ongoing Puerto Rican water crisis and the life-o...

Escape From Vault Disney #85: "Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope"

UPDATE: It's done, huzzah!

Before I say anything else, I'm gonna need a HUGE favor from you fine folks on this one: PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL *ANYTHING* ABOUT THIS EPISODE ON SOCIAL MEDIA BEFORE IT GETS PUBLICLY RELEASED. I think you'll know why when you hear it. Thank you very much for keeping this episode just between us until then.

Happy Star Wars Day, everyone! This week, just in time for May the Fourth (and might I add, be with you) we finally force-choke the randomizer into givi...

Escape From Vault Disney #84: "Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug & Cat Noir S4E11: Rocketear"

Update: It is done!

This week the randomizer goes all the way back to 2021 to cover a CGI animated series produced in France and inspired by anime that originally aired in the states on Nickelodeon before moving to Netflix and eventually the Disney Channel and Disney+. It is completely incomprehensible and I neither condone nor understand anything that happens in it. Join Tony Goldmark, Madeline Maye, Renie Rivas and Luke Ski as they stare bewildered at MIRACULOUS: TALES OF LADYBUG &am...

Escape From Vault Disney #83: "Encanto"

UPDATE: It's done!

This week the randomizer goes all the way back to late 2021 to cover Disney Animation's latest instant massive phenomenon that took the world by storm with breathtaking visuals, compelling characters, dynamic storytelling and inhumanly catchy songs...and just our luck, one of our guests on this episode just so happens to be one of the nine people in the universe who intensely despises it with a burning intensity. Yeeeeaaaah, this one got a little contentious. Join To...

Escape From Vault Disney #82: "Behind the Attraction S1E5: Space Mountain"

UPDATE: It is done!

The increasingly-inaccurately-titled PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney finally comes to a close, a mere two weeks after the month ended! For our fifth and final week of "Parks Month and a Half" I guess, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2021 to cover a made-for-Disney+ docuseries that attempts to blend theme park history lessons with postmodern fourth-wall-breaking wacky comedy (wow what a wild idea never seen anything like that before nope never not onc...

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! State of the Parks: Be Kind, Cosmic Rewind

Available a few hours early to my Patreon patrons! I'll post this one publicly after I get some much-needed sleep.

Escape From Vault Disney will be back with the conclusion of Parks Month (or, as it can more accurately be called now, Parks Month And A Half) next week, but in the meantime here's a BONUS MINISODE with a State of the Parks segment on the announcement of Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind's opening date!

Escape From Vault Disney #81: "Magic of Disney's Animal Kingdom S1E3: Betty and the Beast (with Dave Cobb!)"

UPDATE! It's finally fuckin' DONE!

PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney just keeps on riding along! For our fourth week of Parks Month, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2020 to cover an episode of an inevitable series in which Disney realizes they own both a Florida theme park filled with animals (totally not a zoo though, and how dare you leap to such unfounded accusations) and a basic cable network devoted entirely to pointing cameras at animals. Join Tony Goldmark, Jen Seg...

Escape From Vault Disney #80: "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl"

It continues to be PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! For our third week of Parks Month, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2003 to bless us with the one movie based on a theme park ride that won over critics and audiences alike, and made them say "Oh wow, I guess you CAN make a really really really good movie based on a theme park ride!" before that peculiar subgenre squandered everyone's goodwill all over again. Join Tony Goldmark, Sydney Agnew, Ayaka Matsuoka and Chris Nebergall...

No episode this week

I've given it a lot of thought, and I've decided to postpone the release of this week's episode in solidarity with the #DisneyDoBetter walkouts.

I currently plan to release it - both publicly and on Patreon - next week, on Wednesday the 23rd. Releasing it on Patreon early would feel way too much like I was taking advantage of the walkouts, and using them to try to attract more patrons.

For more info on these walkouts, please visit 2022-03-15 14:13:15 +0000 UTC View Post

Escape From Vault Disney #79: "Miles From Tomorrowland S2E16: Once In A Blue Moon/The Queen Gemma Dilemma (with Ron Schneider!)"

UPDATED to include a State Of The Parks segment on Bob Chapek's non-response to Florida's "Don't Say Gay" bill.

It's still PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And for our second week of Parks Month, the randomizer in its infinite wisdom goes all the way back to 2015 to make us watch an episode of a Disney Junior series with an in-name-only parks connection, depicting a harsh dystopian future of robo-ostriches, gaseous blob-monsters and ruthless dancing space-dictators, where every...

Escape From Vault Disney #78: "One Day At Disney shorts - various episodes"

UPDATED! Now with all the closing segments intact, and a State of the Parks segment about the opening of Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser!

It's PARKS MONTH on Escape From Vault Disney! And for our very first week of Parks Month, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to make us watch a batch of made-for-Disney+ documentary shorts profiling various Imagineering and Disney Parks cast members in ways that I'm sure will be completely evenhanded and brutally honest and not even remotel...

Escape From Vault Disney #77: "The Luck of the Irish"

UPDATED with all the closing segments intact, plus a State of the Parks segment on the "Storyliving By Disney" announcement!

This week we're bypassing the randomizer for yet another Guest's Choice episode, in which our good friend Zach Hurst makes us celebrate St. Patrick's Day a few weeks early by watching a Disney Channel Original Movie from 2001 in which every last Irish stereotype known to man and beast is forced to collide into each other at full speed in a chaotic cataclysmic cac...

Escape From Vault Disney #76: "Hawkeye S1E6: So This Is Christmas?"

UPDATED to include an opening bit announcing Parks Month in March, and a State of the Parks segment about Disneyland and Disney World removing mask mandates!

This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to December 2021 to cover the season-or-possibly-series finale of Marvel's latest Disney+ show, in which they realize they're finally down to the last of the original six OG Avengers and say "Screw it, let's just do a show about the bow-and-arrows guy." Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Ca...

the dumbest patreon exclusive bonus thingy of all time

Behold, an unedited outtake from the upcoming Hawkeye episode. I may or may not edit this and include it in an outtakes minisode someday. There is no earthly way to explain it. Thanks as always for the support!

Escape From Vault Disney #75: "Fancy Nancy: Fancy It Yourself shorts"

Available NINE DAYS EARLY to Patreon patrons!

This week, the randomizer goes all the way back to 2019 to cover a series of Disney Junior interstitial shorts bold enough to combine the cheap animation and insipid writing of a  pre-school show with the insufferable egotism of a YouTube lifestyle vlog. Proceed at your own peril. Join Tony Goldmark, Charlie Callahan, Haley Baker Callahan and Zach Hurst as they neither like, share nor subscribe to the FANCY NANCY: FANCY IT YOURSELF shor...

Time to vote on this year's THEME MONTH!

Remember last year when March was Muppet Month? Welp, the time has come for y'all to VOTE on what the theme's gonna be THIS March! https://twitter.com/efvdpodcast/status/1488059236072394753

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! State of the Parks: Corny Into Imagination

Again, sorry this wasn't ready earlier, but it's still twelve hours early to my Patreon patrons!

Escape From Vault Disney will be back with a full episode next week, but in the meantime here's a BONUS MINISODE with a State of the Parks segment on the unanticipated wild success of Figment popcorn buckets!

Escape From Vault Disney #74: "Life With Mikey"

UPDATED to include a plug for my most recent Channel KRT appearance, and references to the 2022 Theme Month poll: https://twitter.com/efvdpodcast/status/1488059236072394753

This week, for our first episode of 2022, the randomizer goes all the way back to 1993 to pick an underrated Touchstone Pictures comedy starring Michael J. Fox as a former child star turned agent for child actors, in a...

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! More Outtakes!

Available fifteen hours early to my Patreon patrons! (Sorry it wasn't earlier, lost track of time)

Escape From Vault Disney is taking a hiatus for the month of January, but in the meantime here's the second of three BONUS MINISODES! In this one, we present various outtakes from the Prince of Persia, Princess Protection Program, Fantastic Four (1994 series), Chip 'N' Dale Rescue Rangers and Viking Warrior Women episodes!

Escape From Vault Disney BONUS MINISODE! Muppets Haunted Mansion Outtakes (extended Patreon cut!)

Available one day early to my Patreon patrons!

For the first of three minisodes I'm doing for my post-Christmas/January  hiatus, here's a buncha never-before-heard rambly OUTTAKES from the Muppets Haunted Mansion episode I did two months ago with Count Jackula, Madeline Maye and Luke Ski!