endlessjess

Panel-Cast: Poison Ivy and Baby Groot

Today I talk about Poison Ivy in multiple forms. There's the current, terrible, mega-cringe, totally in love with Harley fucking Quinn for some reason version of the character. Then there's a brief appearance of the cool seductress villain she used to be which is now limited to one variant cover of a Batman issue she doesn't actually appear in. And finally we go as oldschool as possible with a facsimile re-print of her first appearance, in which she apparently shares an origin with M...

Death Stranding: The Most Powerful Joke

This is the part of the game that became a meme for how "cringe" it is. Sure, if by cringe you mean totally hilarious and silly and cool. Amelie calls herself Princess Beach and it's such a powerful joke that it echoes throughout history and sometime in the past i'm sure even a caveman heard it and died laughing. That was the last pure Neanderthal so we all have Kojima to thank for the human race, which i guess might be a bad thing now that i think about it, but fuck you the joke is still fun...

Arcade Paradise

I assumed this game would be just be some kind of arcade game collection but it's actually a full arcade management sim, which is pretty cool. You start out in the laundromat where michelle yeoh was being middle aged and sexy in that movie, and i guess you slowly turn it into a bumpin funzone full of games and stuff.

So if you just wanna walk around in the arcade atmosphere and play some cool games, you have to earn it by building the damn arcade yourself. Just like life, if you wanna d...

Evil Within: When Will It End?

Imagine stinking around with a funking fart-bomb in your trousers. You go to the sewer and you scope out the crap sacks and the brown mounds floatin around in all the butt water. You're looking for your missing keys because you locked yourself out of the clown car again and all the other clowns are pissed cause that's their home. That's how life be sometimes. Anyway here's The Evil Within. 

I'm almost finished with this game, by which i mean i was like a year ago when this was reco...

Your Japaneses Animes: Death Parade

HEres the only ANIme ThSYA is abOUT DEAD PEOlpee.e e.e

aargh urru

Dath Prssadre is a anime about when you die an d  you fucking go to hell. you go right to fucking hell. yo go to the bar and th eguy says fuck you play some damn bar games and then go into the helveavter . helveavter? i meant to say hellevator.

the girl in this show is mega babe. i mean the main gir; with ethe fuckin damn bangs. aaaaaaahhhhhh i dont got shit to say here. i said it all in the damn video. 2023-08-15 23:31:53 +0000 UTC View Post

Your Japanese Animes: Pretty Boy Detective Club

https://www.bitchute.com/video/6SQptxT2OCHD/

I forget which one of you monsters made me watch this, but it's taken me months to recover. In fact this one may have been the provebial straw that finally fucked my mind and killed me. I'd rather make out with a termite mound than subject myself to this devilish disasterpiece ever again.

I don't know what the hell went wrong to make this the kind of st...

Limited Run Games Showcase

Apparently the world isn't done shoving these weird, sad, post e3 video game trailers in my face so i guess im not done lookin at em and having opinions and stuff. This is Limited Run Games, a "cool" and "hip" company that like, totally gets it, man. 

For some reason they decided to put a story in their game trailer event, involving a time travel plot back to the first e3 to... i guess save the event by showing trailers or re-releases of old games that hadn't even all come out back...

Death Stranding: Beach Nerd Beatdown

GOD I'm sick of this game and this series. I'm sick of looking at it and sick of hearing myself talk at it. I get it, me. It's cool or something and i'm hilarious and great. What else is new? Well, the point is this might be the longest running Blue Glow series I've done at this point. I lost count of the episode numbers a long time ago but the damn bastard game is finally nearing it's merciful conclusion.

Higgs is one of the coolest game antagonists ever, specifically because he's so u...

RE Code V X PS4 Remaster

This might be a one off, or it might be continued at a random time whenever the hell i next decide to play this which could be never, or someday, depending on whether i ever do, but whatever. I just thought it would be neat to pick this back up, continuing from my previous save which might have been 3 or 4 years ago, who the fuck knows. 

This is one of the best Resident Evils and I'll stand by that forever, or until i change my mind. I must have played through good old RE:CV:X:PS2 ...

Death Stranding: Backwards Man

My stupidest series continues to devolve and me with it. Half this episode is spent trundling through trash in the wrong direction, before having to double back through the ruin and wreckage just to get to a private room where i can wack off and fall asleep. Err.. i mean... where Sam can wack off and fall asleep. 

Good old Sam Porter Bridges, your friend and mine, is gonna wack off, take a shit, collect his shit, make some shit grenades to fight a giant shit whale, take a shower, t...

Evil Within: Put The Shootin On

My adventures in collecting green gel and occasionally seeing something spooky continue in this spooky scary train section of the game, which is totally different from the previous spooky scary subway section of the game. 

That's what you get when a game has 700 chapters like this one. You might see more than one train, and you know what, you're just gonna have to deal with it. What, people are too good for trains these days? Are trains not woke enough for the modern era? ...

Death Stranding - Kaijou Guy-jou

We're getting into the endgame here so the weird silly stuff is gonna start multiplying rapidly in both frequency and power. In this one the goo man turns into a giant goo man with a big gooey swinging dong. It's actually a goo umbilical cord but calling it his dong is funnier, trust me i'm a highly trained expert. I studied infinite jest at Fooliard, the concept not the book. That means I can craft jokes forever, many of which will be funny, probably.

My cat's bothering me so this will...

Lillies Glow - The Crappy Part

This is a one off, I just wanted to show off some gameplay and complain about this annoying ass red part of the game as a little companion piece for my review. This game is full of little annoying crappy parts. None of them really ruin the game, but this one comes close.

This is one of those games with a fake out final boss fight and a whole bunch of other stuff ya gotta do to see the real final boss. So if you want the true ending you have no choice but to do this terrible shit. This s...

Ender Lillies Review

Hey, it's only been 10,000 years since i put out an actual game review. I've been meaning to do something about that, but i've been busy being a buff movie anime wrestling comic book request guy. Somehow this one 5 minute review took 8 months to make. I started it in December around the same time i began offering an obscene amount of request tiers, so the poor thing kept getting pushed back.

I still have requests to finish, but i found the time here and there for this to slowly come tog...

AEW Nasty Ugly Blood and Guts.

I am making this post on my phone while sitting and waiting with a bunch of fat ugly toads in a plasma center to get chained up in a torture bed and have my blood extracted by a guy with too many pokemon pins on his doctor coat, all so Morbius can live to have a sequel. I am sitting directly across from the most repugnant example of human failure I've seen yet today.

This gelatinous middle aged female in cut off jean shorts and pink tank top with a pink purse and bleach blonde ponytail ...

Echo-Pod 5: Stupid Crap For Babies and Nerds

BOARD GAMES! POKEMON CARDS! FANFICTION AND SPIDER-MAN! 

WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??

Here's a giant-sized echo pod for your giant-sized inane topics. It was a nightmare and I swear on all that's holy i'm never going over an hour again. This one's nearly 2 hours and i cut a lot out of it. 

Most of the topics this time had multiple parts to them because you devious dolphin dorks have learned to word your requests in such a way as to sneak multiple topics i...

Buff Movie Buff - First Blood

The youtube link for this one is blocked in some countries so if you're in one of em here's a bitchute: 

https://www.bitchute.com/video/g6zhl1G85HW2/

I was gonna be cool and post this on the 4th of July but then instead i decided to give up on life entirely and go on a 2 week bender. I would like it to be an infinite bender, but unfortunately i still have to post on here and do thi...

Why Am I Playing This Yugioh Game?

Yugio, Yu-Gi-Oh, YuGIOH, i don't fucking know how to spell it. I hate this franchise. The only cool thing about it is Hungry Burger. Also that one card that looks like Solid Snake. Also Dark Magician Girl, she's a sexy little piece. Okay, maybe i like Yugioh a little bit. But not enough to not call it gay 50 times in a row before rage quitting the tutorial. That's just my duelist method.

This show did have some cool characters, i remember the dumb brooklyn guy Joey Wheeler. I used to ha...

SHING!

More fun from the psn store bargain barrel. This game controls and looks pretty sweet for the probably 50 cents i paid for it. It even has a nice little opening cutscenes with jiggly boob animations on the ninja ladies. 

The name of this game is an onomatopoeia, i like that. If i could spell the sound of a shitting farting disaster in my pants, I'd say that should be what Wendy's calls their chicken sandwiches. Okay that's my joke for the night. A perfect joke. You're welcome, peop...

Why Am I Playing This Golf Game?

It's that time again, people. Time for more weird, random, end of the month Blue Glow one offs. The video equivalent of the coffee that's been sitting at the bottom of the pot all day. This one is golf. Sadly not Mario Golf or Hot Shots golf or any of the fun, silly golf games. This one's a serious golf game. 

That's okay, serious golf games can still be fun. Like those old arcade ones with the big ball that you roll. I love those fuckers. But this isn't one of those either. It's t...

WRESTLING - AEW Collision/Forbidden Door

LIKE MUSSSOLIIINNIIIII

AND KENNEDYYYYYYYYY

IM A GUY WHO LIKES TO DRINK PEPSIIII. 

The Punker is back and i'm markin out bro. Finally AEW can be watchable again. Fuck The Bucks, I'm team Punk till im dead cause i know a truth teller and a grownup among baby-brains when i see one. They hated him for telling the truth but i knew he was based from the moment he opened his mouth at that media scrum a year ago. 

I watched the man get smeared left and right by the l...

A Street Cat's Tale

It's a damn kitty cat game! This is the Stray killer and it was way cheaper too. You can fill your game with all the realistic cat animations you want but they boofed it up by putting a story in it. What even is the story in Stray? Some Sci-Fi robot stuff probably. I'll never know cause i'll never play it. I have this. 

This is what a cat game should be, a full on sim. Going around, digging through garbage, getting hit by cars. All the cute stuff that cute kitties do. Good kitties ...

Marsi's Adventures : Legend of The 9 cent game.

This might be the cheapest, bottom of the barrel, bargain bin bullshit i've ever boofed on while basking in The Blue Glow. When i see a game for 9 cents, it doesn't matter what the game even is, there's no way it won't be worth it. Something like that i can't afford not to try out. 

Even if it's one single screen of nothing i know i can be entertaining at it for 9 minutes and turn that 9 cents into maybe 9 dollars. I've sunk into a desperate state of dissociative workaholism to ign...

Evil Dead: Remember Ash? He's back, in game form!

The Evil Dead is an anomaly of a horror franchise in that there's never really been a bad one, unless you count the games. There's definitely been bad games, i'm looking at the proof right now. 

I vaguely remember there being one for ps1 that was just an RE clone, so it probably wasn't too terrible, and there was a ps2 one that i think people liked. Who knows, maybe people even like this one, but i ain't one of em. Cause it's one of those online kinda games that i don't understand ...

Panel-Cast: Hairball and Worldtr33

Faint of heart, be warned. I got some extra scary comics this time, so hold on to your pants and try not to crap in them. 

First there's Hairball, a terrifying tail of an adorable demon called the common house cat. This little monster gets up to all kinds of mischief. Pooping outside the box, scratching up the couch, killing your parents, sucking out your soul, and of course coofing out hairballs all over the place, yuck. It's all highly relatable for cat owners. 

Worldt...

Panel-Cast: Codename Ric Flair

WOOOOO. It's the one and only limosine ridin, jet flyin, kiss stealin, wheelin dealin, rolex wearin, diamond ring wearin, alligator shoe wearin, flight attendent gropin, embrassing second retirement match havin, son of a gun the Nature Boy, Ric Flair, now in funny book form! WOOOO!

Yes that's right. They made a comic about Ric Flair, and in the comic he's a secret agent. The odds of me not talking about this were more astronomical than one of Ric's marriages actually working out. Flair'...

Forza 5 Part 5: Furry Mobile and Joker Jeep

We've made it to the finish line. Here's the last of the Forza series that i recorded before uninstalling it to make room for some other too-big game, or a bunch of dumb little indie games and walking simulators. One or the other or all 3, i can't remember. I'm a man of no wealth and eclectic taste as you may have noticed. 

i'll play anything if it's free, and by free i mean game pass, which i told myself i would get off when the free trial ended but it's been a year and i still ha...

Death Stranding: Two Dudes on a Nudie Beach

I'm listening back to this to remember what the hell funny things i said but my speakers are blown out so i've basically just been sitting here for 20 minutes trying to decipher a wall of tin can robot noise. 

The only thing i've been able to decipher is a half second editing mistake that i felt compelled to fix so i had to re-render this whole stupid thing which was slightly annoying and threw my whole week off somehow. Ugh. This is why you should never watch your own content back...

NMH3 - I got the Deathman Blues

This is a game within a game but it's terrible compared to the game that is the game. Hell, it's terrible compared to most games. I'd even say i hate it compared to other fake games within games. Or real ones. I remember in Animal Crossing you could find a nintendo and play excitebook and baloon fight, that's way cooler than Deathman. 

Deathman is a crappy little cunt who sucks butts and poops dicks on a pile of fuck. I hate his stupid game and i'd say i hate his face too but im no...

Lost Old Man Battles Giant Snake (REmake)

I forgot about this series for a moment. This one is from the same session where i was basically turning senile, and it's progressed even more in this one. All this time it's been sitting there in my editing timeline saying "post me, senpai. Kudosai". So i said fine, and here we are. 

I don't know why, but every time i look at this game all i can think to write is AAAAAAHHHHHHH! GRAPPHHIIICCSS. In fact i may have posted that exact sentence on one of these, it even explaining that i...