endlessjess

2 Cool Games - Sonic and Bennet Foddy

Here's not 1 but 2 extra fun new blue glows. Like for real these games aren't even bad. 

The first one is the clumsily named Sega and Sonic All Stars Racing Transformed. This is a racing game starring Sonic Characters, and also real life race car driver Danica Patrick. 

I obviously didn't plan this but literally as soon as this got posted i look on twitter and find Danica Patrick trending for having crashed and fucking exploded that day. 

I guess it was her last race...

God Of Lore

I know i said no more god of war videos i'm sorry. I had to do this, there's too many god of war raps on youtube and all of them are terrible. 

I'm sorry for the big patreon watermark on this video, i hate it and i think it looks obnoxious and stupid. It's only on there because videos like this get freebooted constantly. 

download: https://endlessjess.bandcamp.com/track/god-of-lore...

GOB OF WOR

hey look i made an actual video for once. I think these are called "video essays" now. 

This is the part where i usually write a big huge text essay to go with the video essay but there ain't nothing left to say. I feel like I've been talking about God of War for a month straight, and now I hope to never talk about it again. 

The only addendum i feel necessary to add to this video is that of the game journalists i poke fun of in the beginning, the first one i show, Victor Lucas...

Patron Exclusive - Oldschool Fool Ep2

Hey 3 dollar bois and girls here's your reward tier bonus video for april! Sorry it's a couple days late i was busy doing some humorous thing that i'm too lazy to think of right now, like... swimming in a toilet or teaching dogs to drive race cars or some... stupid shit like that. 

I know it's only the second episode of this podcast but i really like it. This right here is exactly the kind of content that i wish all content on youtube was. Part of me wants to upload it publicly for everyo...

Bonus Reward - Calling The Classic: Steve Blackman Vs. Kane

Hey 10 dollar bois and girls this one's just for you. It's a special blast from the past from when men were men. By which I mean men were lethal weapons and sometimes demons. 

Yes, It's The Lethal Weapon, Steve Blackman, Vs. The Demon Kane. 

Of the two of them? Steve Blackman is definitely the scariest. 

This is your 10 dollar bonus video, but don't worry, you all still get the 5 dollar bonus video as well. I'm putting the finishing touches on it. It's gonna be extra...

Bonus Rewards - Death Tales W/Digi

This is a terrible game that Digi and I randomly played last summer and immediately forgot about completely. I have no idea how i even got this game. Please enjoy our agitated bewilderment. 

In addition to this, here's an extra 4 minutes of us waiting for a game to install talking about some pointless bullshit. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=obQWgC9Wl5s

Since the pleeb and the weeb ended...

Patron Exclusive - Drunk Sonic Mania

Holy crap! What a productive month for once. To thank all the new patrons I got and the old ones who've stuck around this long here's a special exclusive  blue glow that only you get to see and no one else. It's a cool sonic game!

Also in this post is the 3rd and hopefully last ever God of War blue glow. I didn't want to make any more posts here from the same series of videos so i'm just tossing it in with this much cooler sonic mania video. 

God Of War Blue Glow - Part 3 ...

The Blue Glowiest Blue Glow of all time

Incoherent rambling? That's a paddlin.

Constant flip-flopping on the quality of the game in question? Thats a paddlin.

Running in circles aimlessly accomplishing nothing? That's a paddlin. 

Completely improvised comedy bits that keep building on themselves and somehow miraculously coming full circle? That's a paddlin. 

Playing the game really, really badly? That's a paddlin. 

The amazing joke I'm gonna tell when i get in my canoe? Oh, you better believe t...

My Japanese Animes - The Bullet Club

It's here! The triumphant return of My Japanese Animes! I can hardly imagine the anticipation of all my loyal weebs after a year of ruining my anime channel with The Pleeb and The Weeb. So what's it gonna be?

Am I finally gonna do a big in depth analysis on some classic anime? Cowboy Bebop or Evangelion? Or could it possibly be at long last the fabled My Japanese Animes - Cross Ange? Or.... perhaps... something new? Some new popular animu that everyone's talking about, guaranteed to rake in vi...

Knob of Door - Blue Glow/Not Review

Here's me being a stupid silly idiot while playing a cool new video game about Hunting Boars, Opening Doors, and babysitting. So much babysitting. It's GOD OF WAR. Epic! Err... no.. wait... I forgot epic was the buzzword for 2008. In 2018 the buzzwords are "mature" and "deep narrative experience". 

Judging from my incessant complaining in this video you might walk away with the impression that this game is a horrible nightmare, and another sad example of modern Triple A gaming sensibiliti...

Steven Universe Video - A Deeply Sardonic Lament of Exhausted Rage

This blog took a couple of days because by accident of passion, it originally turned out to be a 100 page manifesto about how youtube is the cancer rotting society and must be destroyed. I've arranged to have it released posthumously upon my inevitable fiery martyrdom.

Here’s a video about a group of people who i don’t respect and whose lives are worthless. Youtubers, the Beach City townsfolk of real life. 

The video is also about Steven Universe, i guess. Sort of. If...

Mania Madness 2018

Hi friends, who wants to hear me talk about wrestling for 3 hours? Judging from the hundreds of subscribers i immediately lost, absolutely no one! Well too bad! Here's my 6-part review/recap/notreview/analysis/tortured screams of Wrestlemania 34! It's my favorite prolonged night-terror of the year!

I actually recorded this spiraling, rambling nightmare for a full 5 hours, but i left a lot of it on the cutting room floor. Stuff that was cut includes a lot of long, pointless tangents about thing...

Da PleeB WeBE FInALE

That’s all, folks. It’s been a very strange 15 months since we filmed these episodes and it’s taken way too long to get them out. But I put my all into editing them and went the extra mile to make each episode special. You all have my sincerest thanks for your support and patience. 

The kickstarter for this was thrust upon me without much warning, not to mention the insane promises like future seasons and bonus episodes. Personally I feel I’ve said what I wanted to wi...

Drunken Peasants March

Here are the 3 dp shows i did this month. they still dont pay me for these but thats okay i just want someoen to rub my tummy and feed me my medicine. im gonna die now oh god. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NnhdaaYg5Go

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4B66YaiWYc

2018-03-31 23:23:58 +0000 UTC View Post

Not a Review Podcast

oh god i m fucking dying . im nauseuous im sick how did this happen. i feel terrible i am literally at deaths door oh god  i   cant stop puking. 

this is podcast of reviews on things i hope you like it holy shit

Calling The Classics - Hulk Vs. Sting

A long awaited return to something i actually enjoy, wrestling! Here's my good boi commentary on a classic old man brawl from 2011. I recorded a bunch of these before i left on my trip a couple weeks ago. So far I've uploaded 4 of them, and 3 of them immediately got blocked worldwide for copyright, so i don't know what the hell to do. But this one survived, so this is the one you get to see. Hurry and enjoy before it gets blocked too. 

If I can figure out a way to get these online and be ...

Another World W/Digi

A lost night-terror from the darkest depths of Endless Vaults. Here's the time Digi and I descended into true lovecraftian madness while lost on Another World. You've probably seen me play this game before with my Secretary, but this playthrough is at least 3 times as retarded as that one. 

Gaze in horror as we get stuck on the same part for like a full hour and devolve into Jeff Foxworthy demons from hell. 

After that we... well actually that continues for the rest of the game...

Endlett Je at Radcon 3!

Wowie! I actually showed up to this! Who saw that coming? Certainly not me. But how did this happen? What does it mean? Well gather round, my Endless Friends, to hear a wholesome tale. 

Let me tell you a story about a man, nay, not just a man but a hero. A self-sacrificing martyr whose kind and noble deeds constantly go unheard of and unrewarded. A man whose modesty and mercy has undone him countless times in a world where virtue-signaling and finger-pointing have become the only accepted...

Bastards Tale W/ Digi

This is a game about potions and knights. It's a true story. 

Altered Perspective??

This is a livestream, i'm doing it right now! Tonight! It'll be up later too, but if you see this in time you can see it live! Ha Ha i am shitting my pants!

Also my second appearance on the dp is right here, i came in at about 1:40:00. I was even more nervous the second time but everyone liked me again for some reason. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCBaNQiqpi0&t=1s

2018-03-01 02:20:40 +0000 UTC View Post

Lion King w/ Boozy

It's been called "impossible" on reddit threads since the dawn of the internet. But those people are pussies. If you haven't beaten the Lion king 3 times by the time you're 5 years old you're a little bitch and a little bitch and a little bitch. 

I am the master of this game, and while everyone else was whining and crying about level 2, i was tossin Scar off Pride Rock on the Sega, on the SNES, on all the systems every day of my life since i was born. 

Boozy Floozy returns, as ...

Abzu w/Digi

Like Rime, this is another lets play from the Legendary Lost Luigi Sessions where Digi and i made like 40 hours of lets plays in 3 days and lost our fucking minds last summer. Some of those turned out good, some of them are horrid abominations, but I'm pretty sure this is one of the good ones. 

Abzu is a game by the guys who made Journey and Flower, as if that wasn't clear from 2 seconds of looking at it. You know what to expect, a vaguely narrative stroll through a beautiful screensaver ...

Drunken Peasants/Buttchugger Blog

Up above is my first appearance on The Drunken Peasants Podcast, which to my knowledge is one of the biggest internet/youtube/dipshit podcasts there is. A bustling center of internet pop culture where 100k sub club big shots gather to fiddle their dicks on webcam or something. 

It was a nice opportunity and pretty cool but forget about that for now, i wanna take this moment to make some words for the only people on this rotten planet who've ever been kind to me and that's you, ...

Hello Kitty Sleepover (Patreon Exclusive)

This was recorded way back at Radcon 2 about 40,000 years ago back when people were still cool. We had a grand old time playing hELoo Kiaty Qbe Frnzy on the PLAYDtaion 1. A game i famously reviewed a lifetime ago. 

Once, i was a boi. I was a little boi, a good boi, a hamboi. I came to the world of shiiiiiiiiiit. There was so much shit and poop and grime and slime and bad bad times that i thought there would never be a day untainted by poopy smells again. But that was before i saw Hlloe Ka...

Summertime Rime (Patreon Exclusive)

This is one of many lets plays that Digi and I recorded together at my house sometime around June, a long ass time ago. 

They've been sitting on my hard drive not getting edited while i try to focus on everything else. But damn it enough is enough, you patrons deserve to see one of them at least, because i need you to survive.

These sessions were a lot of fun and at times very funny and i wish you had heard them sooner. There are so many videos like this on my hard drive, and it's b...

OLDSCHOOL FOOL (Patreon Exclusive)

Hey! It's a new series! One that i've been wanting to make forever. I'm still working on the Pleeb and The Weeb and I didn't really want to be posting other stuff in the meantime, so for now this is a Patreon secret that only you guys can see. 

I came up with the Oldschool Fool gimmick years ago, before even Endless Jess became official. It was meant to be a successor/tribute to my ascended brother in fuckery, Johnny Oldschool. Who is currently living the dream as a real boi far away from...

Highlander: Anime Vs. Real Life!

ooooohhh shiiiiiiit It's the penultimate episode of season 2, where is this clusterfuck going? What's gonna happen? Do you understand life? 

In this episode we take a look at the 1980-something classic film The Highlander. THEN we take a look at the much worse anime adaptation Highlander Something Something Vengeance. Which is the Pleeb? Which is the Weeb? The answer may surprise you, except it won't. The movie is obviously better than the anime. I guess I just spoiled the epis...

Tony Hawk Pro Sk8er

So here I am, doing everything I can
Holding on to what I am
Pretending I'm a superman

I'm trying to keep, the ground on my feet
Seems the world is falling down around me
The night's are long, I'm singing a song
To try and make the answers more than maybe
And I'm so confused, about what to do
Sometimes I want to throw it all away

So here I am, growing older all the time,
Looking older all the time,
Feeling younger in my mind
So here I am, doing every...

The Curse of The Eva - Pleeb Weeb S2E7

Take a moment to appreciate that thumbnail. What a masterpiece. I hope everyone had a good ass Christmas, Kwanza or fucked-up-everything-is-wrong-and-scary-Halloweentown-Christmas. Whatever it is your family celebrates. 

In this episode i finally decide to review something, the long anticipated Evangelion 3.33: Asuka is (not) a Dog. 

<3 <3 <3 <3

Kingsglaive - PleebabBWEEbo

The world is a sick and perverted place where liars always get away with it and there is no such thing as justice. Good people are forever at the mercy of those willing to harm others because restraint and forgiveness are a weakness. Selfishness, dishonesty, and malice will always be rewarded as long as it's in line with the warped values of the mob. When the mob comes for you, friends will abandon you at the drop of a hat to protect their own skin. Everything you've built can be torn down in an...