💸🚽🐖🍯PATRONS!!!🍯🐖🚽💸
⛹🏾🏀🎆🏀GET READY TO RRRUUUUUMMMBBBBBLE!!!!!🏀🎆🏀⛹🏾
That’s right! In honor or March ☘️ Madness ☘️ we here at Rude Tales of Magic 🐉🔮 have decided to bring the MADNESS of COLLEGE BASKETBALL to you!! 🍹🌴 That’s right, our team of bracket scientists 💉have put together a ONCE IN A LIFETIME 🕴🏻March Madness bracket full of 🏴☠️ALL🏴☠️YOUR🏴☠️ 🏴☠️FAVORITE...
2021-03-22 19:01:11 +0000 UTC View Post
Well it happened. We played “Ah Dang! Mothman Won’t Move Out (He Said It Was Only For The Weekend)”, a one page RPG by Paul Matijevic based on an idea by William Carpenter of Long Beach Comics.
Mothman is crashing on the couch of gorgeous roommates Gavin Lavin (Joe Lepore), Buster Humbles (Christopher Hastings), and Tom Plott (Taylor Moore). Everything is normal until it turns out that he’s A-N-N-O-Y-I-N-G! What on (planet) earth will these gorgeous roommates do...
2021-03-18 14:14:26 +0000 UTC View PostContent warning for this episode: cults, castration, compliments
2021-03-17 00:48:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello dear listener, Ruderino, Piss Pig, whichever your preference,
Chris Hastings, voice of de Bonesby here! Freddy-baby's been through some looks recently, and I thought I'd illustrate some documentation to share with you.
We of course have de Bonesby prime, as he was introduced in our first episode, and kept to for quite a while. Nice clothes. Wig. You know this guy.
And just because I understand Patreon absolutely RUNS on p*rnography (lol Patreon flagged this witho...
2021-03-04 23:30:37 +0000 UTC View PostDear Patrons,
Turns out there was a small audio issue on the version of Rude Talks we published earlier today. It's all better now and we've got a beautifully new and fixed cut of this Rude Talks. Enjoy this episode now the *way it was meant to be heard*. If you already listened to the old one, we thank you for your service.
Love,
Nanny <3
2021-03-03 04:26:39 +0000 UTC View Post
Cry Out Loud, Cry Out Proud! You're Only Crying for Freedom is just a few hours away!! What are you waiting for? THIS IS YOUR FIGHT TOO!
https://www.eventbrite.com/e/rtom-live-cry-out-loud-cry-out-proud-youre-only-crying-for-freedom-tickets-140877762179
Ok, Elf Lords, we hope we see you at the live show tonight but this is for a totally different thing! This is just between us- don't go telling your black grail friends!
The Rude Tales crew are developing some roleplaying content and we'd like some feedback from our precious Lords before we share it with the wider world. Please use the link below to ...
My lords, my lords, PLEASE attend our next Live Stream, tomorrow night!!
You can view it on Vimeo: https://vimeo.com/event/736263
Or at rudetalesofmagic.com/live (bottom of page)
Your password is (and pleeeease don't spread it around):
concarnage
And hey, thanks again for your support. You make everything we do poss...
2021-02-25 19:39:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Ali and Tim each live near different incredible parks. Both parks have Red Tailed Hawks.
Ali and Tim break down why seeing that Red Tailed Hawk gives them such pleasure. Using birds (profoundly) as an anchor, these two trained conversationalists talk about walks, neighborhoods, animals, memories, books, feelings, and the things on which we rely to bring us contentment. Like the very birds that inspired the dialogue, this conversation is ungrounded.
2021-02-25 14:06:38 +0000 UTC View Post
You read that right! The whole Rude Crew will be hosting a watch party on the Discord tonight at 8PM Eastern, and it's just for our beloved and virtuous Elf Lords! We'll be watching the 'cult classic' 2013 film Fateful Findings (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2332623/). So grab your popcorn or soup and sit down for night at the ol' virtual cinema!
And if you can't make this one- hey, that's life, bab...
Maybe you heard the bugle call at dawn. Maybe you got the draft card in the mail. Maybe you saw the leaked show poster (https://twitter.com/of_rude/status/1362070559073464329?s=20) on Twitter.
Either way, it's time to grow up and buy your tickets, soldier! Our next live streaming show is one week from TODAY (February 26th at 7:30 PM est).
Years from now, your grandkids will ...
The Cast assembles to prank the living shit out of each other. Buckets of water left over doorways, rubber pillows that make poot-poot sound, hand buzzers, foot buzzers, back of knee buzzers, NOTHING is sacred and no one is safe in this hall of mirrors we call Rude Talks of Chatting for ep025 "Infinite Jests"!! So sit back and grab a snack, might I suggest this can of peanut brittle?
Below you will find the "Pile of Same Color" piles as described in the episode.
2021-02-17 00:20:00 +0000 UTC
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It's been one year, one month, and fourteen days since the New Years Eve Disaster at Flammable Rock Holdings... which means we are overdue to check in with the Level 10 Corporate Dwarves.
Listen in as Cardboard Junior, Bold Henry, and Surfboard try to craft an unforgettable Valentines date for some lovesick friends with the help of their new intern. It's only the fate of the planet at stake.
The DMs are Ali Fisher and Chris Hastings. Starring Carly Monardo, Joe Lepore, Tim...
Bonus Content- ENGAGE!
Because you demanded it: Joe gathers together the crew of the Starship Raptor, for another voyage through the stars. With old friends, new faces, and old friends with new faces, episode 2 will send you on a comet ride of adventure and fun.
Featuring:
Chris as Threadcount 900
Taylor as Legs Loveless
Tim as Gelmer Lysander
Branson as Klaus Kitski
GM'ed and produced by Joe with additional Sound Design by Michael Ghelfi.
2021-02-11 23:31:13 +0000 UTC View PostThe cast gathers to discuss the ins and outs of Afterbirth and that time Joey Ramone tripped Chris!
2021-02-02 21:20:36 +0000 UTC View Post
This started as a joke, but now it's real. We give you: the reverse shot of our logo! This is canon.
2021-01-30 19:38:41 +0000 UTC View Post
The two castmates who live their lives one quarter mile at a time (Ali and Joe) get together to discuss their favorite film franchise about street racing: The Fast and the Furious! We talk our favorite movies in this two decade saga, our mutual love of Han, the importance of hitting the NOS button, and so much more!
UPDATE: We mention in the episode that there's a 20 minute short film written and directed by Vin Diesel taking place immediately before Fast & Furious (F&F #4) tha...
Get ready for the cast of the nastiest podcast in town to play their wicked new game, Respect/Honor/Exalt!!!
2021-01-19 20:45:53 +0000 UTC View Post
We're ending the holiday season with some special bonus commentary for you, our beloved patrons. Chris, Tim, and Joe talk a bit of Trek, then dive into a viewing of Deep Space 9's season 4, episode 7: Little Green Men. Watch along with the boys and hear their deep and incisive commentary on this landmark Ferengi episode.
Hope y'all had a good New Year- we'll be back to our regular schedule next week with another edition of RUUUUDE TAALES OF MAAAGIC....
Thank you for your support in this, the year of two twenties. We've enjoyed making stuff for you, and we look forward to concocting new thrills and delights for 2021! We like to imagine the group here is saying "CHEESE!"; just a little flight of fancy on our part.
xo
Rude Tales of Magic
2020-12-31 17:53:04 +0000 UTC View PostAn extra something for our Lords: bloopers/deleted scenes from Beans and Revelry! Happy New Year!
2020-12-31 17:41:45 +0000 UTC View PostSeasons Greetings, fine Piss Pigs!
We at Rude Tales are proud to present the Patreon Cut of our soon to come Jane Austen-inspired episode, "Beans & Revelry", which includes a bonus 40+ minutes of behind the scenes gameplay as the cast creates their characters and the world they inhabit!
A tip of the top hat to Storybrewers Roleplay, whose excellent RPG "Good Society" provided the basis for our adventure. We highly recommend 2020-12-28 16:11:10 +0000 UTC View Post
Thank you to our beloved patrons! Whether you celebrate The Hondadays or Toyotathon or even if you don't celebrate any of them and just like the Camry Carols, we hope you're having a wonderful late December. Thanks for a great year and here's to many more!
Use the code RUDEMAGIC at checkout to get an extra $47 dollars added to the price of your purchase of at all participating honda dot coms.
2020-12-25 19:28:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Will you accept this...podcast?????
Joe and Tim talk about their history with the Bachelor franchise, their thoughts on the current season, and their hopes for the future. A perfect primer for those who have never touched the series while still giving the "caught up" plenty of hot takes on Clare, Tayshia, and the most heartfelt Noah vs. Bennett take in audio.
2020-12-19 15:30:00 +0000 UTC View PostSure, you've heard deleted scenes from the main show before, but now, for the first time EVER, we're sharing a little lost nugget from Rude Talks! And it's just for you, our Lords and Masters! You might call this a "Cut" Gem! Or you might call it "a waste of a minute." Either way, keep it to yourself!
2020-12-09 18:28:16 +0000 UTC View PostWe talk Riddles, Guys, the amazing performance of Thunderlingus, and what everyone's personal sacrifice would be. Fun ep!
2020-12-08 19:01:12 +0000 UTC View PostOur first Riddle Guy episode was a big ol JUMBO boy, so overflowing with INCREDIBLE CONTENT that our arbitrary and self imposed time limit could not hold it all. BUT THE BLACK GRAIL HOLDS ALL.
And so behold: An extra "riddle" for Albee! FINALLY the Cool Zone and what happened there is REVEALED! Ice Golems! Gnomes! Relationships! All this and more, in Riddle Guy Deleted Scene Theater!
2020-11-30 17:57:27 +0000 UTC View PostIf your ears were mouths, get your mouths ready to suck down this chocolate milkshake of a Rude Talks! We discuss the closest possible analogue to Burning Man, Bona--Warped Tour, Carly weighs in on *That Crush* and Chris makes a declaration about Rotini. Your headphones are the straw!
2020-11-25 00:42:11 +0000 UTC View PostIn honor of the anniversary of the first full day of the Lyndon Johnson administration, we've decided to open up fifty (yes fifty!) new Elf Lord spots- and we're letting you, our lovely, current subscribers know first!
These will go fast- some of you have already upgraded, and we'll be announcing this on twitter shortly too, so act fast if you'd like to join the august ranks of the Elf Lords!
Curious about the Elf Lord perks? Check this out:
We swore it would never happen again, but the unthinkable has occurred. Taylor surprised Carly, Chris, and Joe with a fresh bundle of P.A.R.S.E.L.Y. (they had no idea what game we were going to be playing until it started).
Parsely is a collection of text adventure-based games you can play with any number of people (as long as it's more than 1), and you can buy Parsely (highly recommended) right here. Perfect for...
2020-11-19 15:18:10 +0000 UTC View Post