In the thrilling sequel to Ant-Man we find out Scott Lang has ant Syphillis from a one night stand he had down in the colony. Can Hope Van Dyne shrink down and clean his penis and save his life? Or will Scott die before the credits roll? Find out in this thrilling Episode.
2019-04-24 01:18:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Tim and Todd join me to talk about the culmination of 10 years of movie plots in the biggest movie event of its time. We explain the plots of previous movies to Todd and help him understand what the fuck is happening.
2019-04-18 17:39:57 +0000 UTC View Post
What up YouTube?! Welcome back to Here's What I Don't Get Reactions. Today we're listening to episode 125. Remember to like, comment and subscribe. And hit that bell button to get notified when we post a new video. Okay! Here we go. Alright alright. Good ad this week. Wow, that is so true. Okay, okay, first issue. Nice! #UncleBuckWasWrong! Alright, pause. This video is brought to you by...... Dollar Shave Club! Use offer code TABNTIM to get 5% off your first month. They got all kinds of razor...
2019-04-17 23:53:06 +0000 UTC View Post
Breaker Three Oh, Breaker Three Oh, This is the Madcuck out there on the highways haulin' a load of do gets to some degens upcountry. So buckle up your back door, grab a CB, get that manifest out because we're searching cabs for these important issues.
Pit Stops
Tailored Fit
Hotel Breakfasts
Truckers
Gas getting low, bladder getting full, stomach starting to growl, seeing smoke dogs? There is only one solution. A pit stop. Find the blue sign that will tell you how far off...
2019-04-15 05:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome friends to the penultimate film before Infinity War and the greatest film ever made, according to fucking morons on the internet. Black Panther is a competent movie, and a total bore. In a formulaic Marvel Origin story that devolves into a CGI shitfest, we are introduced to Black Panther, in case you missed him in Civil War. Also meet a cast of other people who matter, and a grand total of 21 white people. Yay diversity! More importantly this episode was recorded on my new Red Letter ...
2019-04-12 00:22:56 +0000 UTC View Post
Ah, hello! Welcome to the Here's What I Don't Get Inn! Rooms are $5 a night. What's the catch? Well, we have a constant playlist of our podcast playing in your room 24/7. Not loud, but just loud enough to not ignore. It's $15 to mute a single episode, or $50 per pair of earmuffs. The AC unit is $5 per degree change, and the hot water in the shower costs $5 a minute. Speaking of the shower, we do have extra handles for $10, and of course the whiskey is free, but we do offer an upgrade package ...
2019-04-11 02:10:54 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally a Thor movie that doesn't suck! Welcome friends to episode 17 of the fast approaching Road Through Infinity War. Tony couldn't join me because he never did get back with me for a time and with only 17 days, 23 hours, 43 minutes and 44 seconds until I see Endgame I need to get this shit done. This isn't the best Marvel Movie and it's not the worst, but it is the best Thor movie and that's saying something. This movie gets a lot right, and a lot wrong, but overall it's a good Hulk movie...
2019-04-08 03:26:14 +0000 UTC View Post
A mission deep into the unknown. Aboard the S.S. Hereswhatidontget, two men venture into that cold black of space in search of life beyond our own planetary system. What will they find? How will the claustrophobic ship warp their minds? But most importantly… what will they do with all that time? Seriously. Like, what is there to do? Read, I guess. You could probably load up a bunch of movies onto a hard drive and watch those on the tiny screens. Cards? You can only play cards with someone f...
2019-04-03 23:46:19 +0000 UTC View Post
John is a man of focus, commitment, sheer will... something you know very little about. I once saw him kill three men in a bar... with a pencil, with a fucking pencil.
And this, is one of the greatest movies ever made. Join Tab, Tim, and Todd in his first time watching this movie in a cinematic experience to rival no other. Witness Todd ask questions about the movie 4 seconds before they happen. Listen to Tab's 4K cross bearing because he isn't sitting in the right spot. Try to guess wh...
2019-04-01 17:01:04 +0000 UTC View Post
Step into the matrix, fellow HWIDGers! It's time bury dictators and fire up particle accelerators as we light speed collide the following issues:
- The Mandela Effect
- The Parenthood Penalty
It feels like I'm forgetting to remember something that happened early in the episode. Or remembering it wrong. When you have a memory that doesn't line up with reality, is it early onset Alzheimer's, or is it... the Mandela Effect? Joel has a solid case against the...
2019-04-01 05:01:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome back HWIDG fans to this month's Minisode dedicated to you the listener. This month we're back at the affected talking studios and mumbling about these issues.
Gas Cans
The Revenge of 2019
My Gum Not Being Here
Guitar Hands
Another victim in the slow march towards obsolescence in the name of safety, Gas Cans. These new pieces of shit require a PHD in cucked engineering to understand how they work. I've been taking some extension courses and the answer is, they don'...
2019-03-30 05:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
This was an April Fool's prank, we actually watched into the SpiderVerse, the black spider man movie
2019-03-30 02:20:56 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome to the American Podcast Museum! Now if you follow me I can show you our newest entry in the Historically Relevant wing, this is the Here's What I Don't Get Podcast. Mostly a comedy show, this show featured a slew of hosts talking about what things in life bothered them. But one crucial episode, number 121, was a turning point for the show. It featured then host Tim the Handlebreaker opening the show, acting as if his co-host Tab Birt had left the show for a comedic bit. Now what we on...
2019-03-28 00:35:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Do svidaniya, comrade! Welcome to glorious H.W.I.D.G Podcast. You will be liking to hear General Birtov and Podpolkovnik Timor discussion on all glorious presents gifted by Supreme Leader. All talkings are approved by NKVD, so no having worryings about treason! This week, comrades discussing having much healthy food to eat, Supreme Leader's glorious givings of long winter, joys of joining in public punishments of traitorous peoples, and favorite color red. Please write letter to comrades to h...
2019-03-20 23:29:17 +0000 UTC View Post
Life is filled with every day misfortunes but this time we're not talking about that, we're talking about what's best in life, and following Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women, are these big do gets.
Trailers
Trying New Things
My Jam
Comeuppances
Coming soon to theaters, a trailer is a story it's not the story of the movie, it's a story about why you should dump $10 for a ticket to see the real story. Tra...
2019-03-18 02:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome back a legend into the fold, Spider-Man in the third reboot of the character in 20 years someone finally gets it right and it is so good. Meet Peter Parker, a mild mannered high schooler with great power, but we can't say great responsibility. His nemesis, the OG Batman Michael Keaton who just wants to do right by his family. Along the way meet a huge cast of memorable characters like, Fat Kid, Not Tom Hardy, DJ Douchebag, Technology Nerd, and finally Black MJ who isn't actually MJ. 2019-03-18 00:18:24 +0000 UTC View Post
This time on Road Through Infinity War we discuss the masterpiece that is Guardians of the Galaxy 2. A masterpiece of shit. This movie cannot let a single moment pass without under cutting it with a sarcastic comment or mean spirited quip. The first film was great, and I am 100% sure it was because James Gunn wasn't left to his own devices. Now on #2 he's all alone with nobody to dilute his cynicism and daddy issues to tell a good story. Enter at your own risk.
2019-03-18 00:14:51 +0000 UTC View Post
THIS IS NOT A DRILL OR TEST. THIS IS A CRIME ALERT. TAB BIRT AGE 27 WAS LAST SEEN IN TULSA ON SATURDAY MARCH 9TH. HE WAS LAST SEEN WEARING A MULTICOLORED PROPELLER HAT, A PINK CROP TOP, AND JNCO BRAND JEANS. HE IS PRESUMED ARMED AND DANGEROUS AFTER COMTTING A SERIES OF LIME SCOOTER-RELATED ASSAULTS. DO NOT APPROACH THIS MAN. IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION ABOUT HIS WHEREABOUTS PLEASE CALL CRIMESTOPPERS AT 704-750-9434. BIRT IS ALSO KNOWN BY THESE STREET ALIASES:
* Product Lines
* Restau...
MAYDAY! MAYDAY! THIS BIRD'S COMING IN HOT! I GOTTA PUT HER DOWN SOMEWHERE! THERE! IT'S A STUDIO OF SOME SORT! IT SAYS HWIDG! TELL MY LITTLE GIRL I LOVE HER!
* Digital Survivalists
* The Cone of Shame
* Cultural Touchstones
* Law & Order: SVU
There are those that can survive in the woods for 21 days naked but in the 21st century they are nothing compared to those hardened souls who can survive 22 days without facebook. That's right, Digital Survivalists. They're writin...
2019-03-07 06:38:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome patrons to this month's movie commentary, it's a shorty this month. 2018's Joe Goodall directed Breakdown. Join a desperate couple tricked into kidnapping a poor girl and forced to be shot like a comedy in places that don't require a permit to film. Will they do the right thing and go to the police, or will it end on the worst twist in film history? Watch to find out!
Don't forget to submit your movie for...
2019-03-01 18:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Nintendo's newest smash hit announced today-Pokemon: Tab and Pokemon: Tim! Join Pokemon Trainer Tab on his quest to gather all the Pokemon in the Merca region and wait... what is he doing to them?! OH GOD! TURN THE CAMERA OFF! TURN IT OFF! KIDS ARE WATCHIN-. Or join Pokemon Trainer Tim on his journey to find the strongest Pokemon! See how he trains his Machamp here in the Pokemon Gym! Electrolytes and vitamins? Well I hope those are visiting! And booster shots I guess? Need to stay healt...
2019-02-28 02:15:27 +0000 UTC View Post
This...is one small step for a podcast, one giant step for podcasting-kind. Welcome to Here's What I Don't Get, the only currently interstellar podcast to tackle all of space's toughest issues. I'm your host Tim the Capsulebreaker and with me today, the man disappointed that the moon actually is made of cheese, the space rage machine, Tab Birt. Coming to you live from the Moon comes with its own problems, for instance, we've had to weigh our cables down because they almost strangled us earlie...
2019-02-21 03:45:38 +0000 UTC View Post
Hello Patrons and welcome to this bonus Episode. This Month we're talking about these pleasures!
Winning
Fog
Loot
Cruising
What's best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women! Winning, it's what we are biologically driven to do, be a winner. All those people that say they don't care about winning... they are liars.
Better than winning, the Haze all around you that obscures distant objects and makes light s...
2019-02-19 01:30:23 +0000 UTC View Post
So, I just bought this storage locker for 600 smackeroos. Bill was being a jackass and bidding me up, probably cause he's jealous of my store doing more business than his, but anyways let's get this bad boy open. Okay. At first, this locker doesn't look great. A lot of used clothes in bags, that's $20 a bag. Some golf clubs, that's half a Benjamin. Some jewelry, some old DVDs, not looking real great. But, back here is what I spotted, and I hope it's what I'm thinking it is....Yes! It is! Now ...
2019-02-14 01:57:06 +0000 UTC View Post
It's that time of year again, Valentine's Day, and what better way to say I love you than to take you sweetheart home, put on Starship Troopers and show her the perils of Facism in Spaaaaace!
This month our second commentary asks, "Do you want to live forever?" We definitely do, but only if Tim is allowed to take a nap in the middle of every film, and I can not run out of something to drink halfway through recording. So it's time to do your part, get your pocket nuke, and get to the dr...
Inmate: HWIDG2-1a
Crime: Supporting a wrong think podcast
Sentence: Life without the possibility of parole in New York.
New York, New York is it everything they say? And no place that I'd rather be. Except during the distant future year of 1997 when things went way fuckin south for a bit. Join Tab and Tim as they sit down to power through another Carpenter/Russel team up. Does escape from LA measure up? Is Mr. Miyagi in this film? Can you tell the moment that Tim falls aslee...
2019-02-07 03:43:47 +0000 UTC View Post
Breaker breaker, this is Big Daddy HWIDG, I'm haulin' a load of go-juice to Spud Town and I got me a bit of trouble. Seems like there's an expired lot lizard in my cabin. Picked it up at a pickle park bout 50 miles back and I think it got into my West Coast turnarounds. Any good buddies willing to help me out at the next choke and puke, I'd appreciate it. I've got some spicy contraband for anybody if you help me out. Let's see, I got a bunch of primo hoochie flicks he...
2019-02-07 00:27:40 +0000 UTC View Post
Previously on HWIDG the Next Generation. Tab was promoted to Admiral, Tim was distressed by the sudden usurpation of his command, and only two of the first eleven episodes of the season didn't make it on Tab's must watch list. And now... the conclusion.
2019-01-31 18:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Fuck you it's January! and what's fucking us this month are these meager issues.
Poorly Designed Specialty Hardware
Birth in Media
Reverse Apology Lookup
Pull Quotes
Why is it when you make something to fill a very very specific need instead of making the best version of that thing you fuck it up and make some piece of shit instead? We've all seen it, a niche problem with a niche solution, and the solution somehow makes the problem worse. I'm looking at you GaffGun, fucki...
2019-01-31 06:02:00 +0000 UTC View Post
After 10,000 years he has returned! The alien menace from the outskirts of Omega IV, The Handlebreaker returns to exact his revenge on the doors of Earth! Can we fight him off? It's up to one man, Colonel Tab Birt! The man with a tragic past, haunted by a handle that wasn't there when he needed it most, his crusade against the alien menace will drive him to the brink! Terror! Adventure! Groundbreaking effects! HWIDG pictures present: Return of Handlebreaker! Now available on home video along ...
2019-01-31 01:53:12 +0000 UTC View Post