*New Link*
PATRON SAINTS.
I write to you on a dilapidated and defiled Netherrealm keyboard. Episode 6 is ready for you. Some audio was chewed up by our depraved compressor, and will be fixed for the wide release tomorrow...but not even MS-DOS and dial-up will keep this new episode from you.
Please. Enjoy.
xoxo,
The Oracle
PATRON SAINTS.
With no delay whatsoever, you will find winners of various cardboards below.
JUNE GIVEAWAY
Fallen Empires Booster: Evan G. Well done and thank you, Evan.
JULY GIVEAWAYS
Standard Booster: Matthew Everhart. Everhart, the Ever-Faithful. Enjoy your bounty!
Fallen Empires Booster: Majin Shinsa 2019-08-08 21:49:11 +0000 UTC View Post
As the Demon plots future torment for the dudes, it is eager to know what you might delight in watching a few episodes from now. Let us know what you think and the Demon will take it into consideration!
2019-07-18 17:49:00 +0000 UTC View PostDearest Janklords,
We hope you enjoyed the latest episode. We’re daring to say that you’ll enjoy August’s episode even more...
Today’s order of business: A Survey & Patreon Updates
Part I: The Survey
As the Demon plots future torment for the dudes, it is eager to know what you might delight in watching a few episodes from now. We'll be posting a survey along with this post--take a moment to let us know what...
2019-07-18 17:47:28 +0000 UTC View Post
This is a new and improved link (there was a hiccup in the one we sent yesterday).
Giveaways coming at you v soon.
Again, you're all the GREATEST.
xoxo
2019-07-08 22:54:13 +0000 UTC View PostBehold: https://youtu.be/QyxhVzh-zVg
Thanks for waiting, janklords. You’re truly amazing.
Janklords,
You've been most patient as we've bided our time these last 2 months. The Demon wanted us to assure you that your patience has not been in vain. Within a week, Episode 5 will be granted unto you...and Episode 6 will follow shortly thereafter. Prepare your bodies, for they are not ready.
Unending thanks to our very own Jankmaster, Emory, for creating this most flattering rendition of the Demon's visage. The Demon is quite pleased.
xoxo, 2019-06-26 16:48:49 +0000 UTC View Post
Janklords!
Our return is nigh. Exciting times are ahead of us on the Quest. Episode 5 will be revealed in the coming weeks, and we've got some absurd things planned for July.
You'll find the April & May giveaways below. Patrons at the INDULGENT JANKSTER level and above will also be getting a little bonus treat this week.
Sincerely,
Your biggest fans (Daniel, John, Joe, and Tim)<...
2019-06-03 17:27:25 +0000 UTC View Post
CHECK IT OUT, EVERYONE: https://youtu.be/IayZkoO11gc
2019-04-26 23:58:04 +0000 UTC View PostWhoa. YOU'RE MULTIPLYING!
We can't thank you enough, patrons new and old, for supporting us in this endeavour. It means so much that you believe in the Quest. We are thrilled to have you as fellow janklords.
It's time to announce our giveaways for March.
THE FALLEN EMPIRES BOOSTER GOES TO...
LAWRENCE WYNN!
Lawrence was the 15th patron to join the vanguard. A most glorious number indeed. Thank you, Lawrence. Enjoy the smell of that booster.....
2019-04-04 18:54:13 +0000 UTC View Post
It's here: https://youtu.be/JJ99R1TQtSU
Enjoy, dear Patrons.
P.S. Giveaways for March will be announced this week. Including the winner of the victor's deck from THIS episode. Which one could it be, I wonder...
2019-04-01 15:42:59 +0000 UTC View Post
Dearest Patrons,
Episode 4 releases TOMORROW. This link will take you to a super secret preview version for your and our eyes only. There are a few hiccups that will be fixed for tomorrow, but we wanted to get this monster out ASAP. We’ll update the post with the fresh version once the dungeon PC finishes rendering.
Enjoy the carnage that awaits you...
2019-03-31 22:15:04 +0000 UTC View Post
PATRON SAINTS. DEAREST BENEFACTORS.
It’s high time we give away our February booster. Patrons at the QUESTLING level and up are eligible for this reward.
The name randomly plucked from the roiling cauldron by the Wheelmaster himself is…
DANIEL ALDRICH.
Daniel holds the title of THE TENTH Patron in the halls of the Netherrealm. Today, we raise a chalice to you, Daniel. Congratulations. May you open something worth more than .79 cen...
2019-03-12 14:37:35 +0000 UTC View Post
Please enjoy an early viewing of this shuffling tutorial.
We <3 you all.
xoxo,
The Demon & Co.
2019-02-27 16:54:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Hi, janklords.
We’ve been busy—hanging out next to the toilet.
Fun stuff is on the horizon! See you soon.
xoxo
2019-02-18 01:38:30 +0000 UTC View PostGreetings, janksters!
Without any ado, it's time to announce our giveaways for the month of January.
The FALLEN EMPIRES booster goes to...RAYMOND B. Raymond entered the fold in January as our EIGHTH patron. Thank you! We hope you're psyched to open that sweet, sweet '94 cardboard, Raymond.
The winning Jank Deck from Episode 3 (we won't spoil it if you haven't watched it) goes to...LITTLE FX RADIO. 2019-02-02 18:26:23 +0000 UTC View Post
Episode 3 cannot be contained and must be released tomorrow...lest it destroy its cage.
ENJOY YOUR EARLY VIEW, MOST GLORIOUS PATRONS: https://youtu.be/-qam41NNHPY
We'll talk at you soon.
xoxo,
The Oracle, on behalf of the Demon
2019-01-14 22:06:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Happy Holidays, janklords!
We want to say THANK YOU for making merry with us these past few months. Your generosity and support are inspiring and we can't thank you enough. But we'll try!
It's also time to announce the winners of the November & December Fallen Empires giveaways. The winners are...
NOVEMBER: Matthew Spidle
DECEMBER: Ryan Walker
Congrats! Your boosters will be in the mail after Christm...
2018-12-24 17:16:45 +0000 UTC View Post
Dearest Patrons,
Our first short-form video releases tomorrow, but here it is for your early viewing pleasure.
The editors still have a few tweaks the Demon has demanded, but this is basically what the public will see tomorrow.
THE DEMON HOPES YOU ENJOY IT.
2018-11-29 16:39:09 +0000 UTC View PostJanklords. Patron Saints. Companions on The Quest.
It’s been a wild two months. Thank you for coming alongside us on this mad and beautiful quest. The response has been overwhelming and totally unexpected--most humbling of all has been the response from you, our band of fellow janksters.
Our goal from the start has been to have fun, get janked, and make people smile. Thank you for supporting that. It means the world to us.
We first sold our soul...
2018-11-07 22:10:27 +0000 UTC View Post
The demon thanks you for your patience waiting for the next episode. It took the lives of 3 editors and a blood mage to get it finished by October. So here it is.
The demon had hoped to let you see this a full day before the plebs, but technology in the dungeons being what it is…we barely janked it out in time. The episode will go live to the public shortly after this post (it might ...
2018-11-01 01:49:17 +0000 UTC View Post
The demon ordered us to put this here before it goes live tomorrow.
Soon, friends.
xoxo,
The Oracle
2018-10-09 17:57:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Patrons. The time has come to announce the (random) winner of the September FALLEN EMPIRES booster giveaway. Those at the QUESTLING tier or higher are eligible for this gift...which is all of you (you're amazing).
The winner is: DAWSON DEMARS.
Congratulations, Dawson. The pack will be on its way from the Netherrealm to you shortly. Let us know what you find inside...
If you didn't win, fear not. Another chance awaits at the end of this month.
P.S.<...
2018-10-05 23:44:48 +0000 UTC View Post
The Quest has begun. And the demon is most pleased to have you.
Stay tuned for more jankish delights...
You'll be the first to know.