halrion

The Bernie Madoff of Botox

The article read by Gemma and Holly in The lady wot lunched a little too much - Part 5.

Too hot to trot?

My God! What's happening?! It's 28 degrees c... in the North of bally old England! 🌞

And with the sun scorching the grass, Gemma had Holly, beset by a niggling suspicion that they've left it a little late to start toning up for their summer holidays, have decided to brave the fury of Apollo and the soaring pollen count to embark on their customary annual jog. 

Trust our hefty heroines to pick the hottest day of the year for it! Still, there's hope they'll complete the...

Ladies wot brunch a little too much

🌴 🌴 

Ahhhh, a little digestive siesta in the Eastern heat. Much needed after that luxurious four-hour brunch at the Jumeirah Al Qasr, eh ladies? ...(Burrrp!)

Anyone who's experienced a Dubai brunch will surely envy and empathise with these heavily fed hotties in equal measure. For those who haven't... well, picture the most extravagant all-you-can-eat buffet imaginable, spread over multiple rooms and outdoor areas overlooking the sea, with endless...

Abby gets active

Here's a little preview image for a potential short episode which will be a sort of 'illustrated interlude' in the main Lady wot lunched storyline.

Abby and a couple of her curvy cronies have taken to the gym to work off the effects of all those boozy Epping Hill parties, not to mention their leader's fondness for illicit French cuisine. Not wanting to risk injury, Abby's exercise policy is to avoid the free weights and stick to the machines. Specifically her phone and (if she feels lik...

Too much Christmas, Gemma?

🎄🎄 

It's Christmas Day at the Patterson household. The crackers have all been pulled, the turkey has been reduced to bones, the stuffing has been stuffed down, and poor Gemma is starting to regret that forth helping of brandy-butter-soaked Christmas pud (burp!).

But her ordeal is far from over. With films to watch and an afternoon frost crackling softly around the windowpanes, Linda Patterson likes nothing more than cranking up the heating, bundling her brood into C...

The Holly bares a belly

A festive 🎁 featuring Holly from my Lady Wot Lunched series.  

I felt I hadn't quite done justice to Holly in my team pic, and wanted to spend a little more time on her pic here. I struck lucky with the lighting, and overall I'm pretty chuffed with how it turned out, even if I say so myself! 

The story was written over just a few days, which is pretty quick for me. I'd usually give myself a bit longer to polish and tweak, but hey ho, as they say at this time...

Miss Everett and the postprandial paunches

I'm not sure exactly where this one came from. Possibly it's because I've had quite a few exams recently (all finished and passed now!) and they reminded me of my sixth-form days. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to do an illustration to go along with the story.

I hope you enjoy

(And yes. I'm realise the 'whiteboard' mentioned in the story is, in the picture, green. Sorry about that!) 

Augmenta Aesthetics

A little teaser image for an upcoming part of the Lady Wot Lunched, introducing a new character: Dr Hayley Ward, owner and principal beautician at Augmenta Aesthetics Ltd, favoured beauty spot of the New Century Property girls.

Arriving one afternoon for her treatment, Gemma is thrilled when a photographer asks if she'd be willing to pose in the chair for a few pictures that will feature as promotional images on Augment's new website. Every day since, she's been eagerly checking to ...

The lady wot lunched a little too much ~ Part 4

Are Peter, Gemma and Holly about to get rumbled, or is that just the sound of Abby's belly digesting another unfortunate Ortolan?

The lady wot lunched a little too much ~ Part 3

Caught out as an impersonator and blackmailed into spying on his true love, things aren't going well for Peter.

Debbie does sports day - A Hill family fanfic

Hefty, high-maintenance Texan barbie Debbie Hill attends her daughter's school sports day, hoping for family glory and perhaps a slightly tastier buffet than last year. But with her other daughter causing havoc at home, and a hostile clique of local moms to contend with, Burnet's hottest young milf might be about to get more than she's bargained for. 

A brief story about my all-time favourite character in fat fiction, 2018-12-24 13:23:13 +0000 UTC View Post

Deep in conversation

A short piece of plump political fiction: involving SPADs, spin doctors and swelling Westminster waistlines. 

Inspired by Samster's splendid image of the same name (check it out here: Deep in Conversation).

The lady wot lunched a little too much ~ Chapter 2

Wherein there is a house viewing and a bit of a twist. Once again huge thanks to Samster, whose feedback and addition to an earlier draft greatly enlivened Abby's sales technique.

Hope you enjoy! Comments and thoughts (good or bad) are welcome as always. :)

The lady wot lunched a little too much ~ Chapter 1

A story inspired by the recent takeover of my town by a troupe of glossy lipped estate agents with a penchant for pasties and posteriors that are rapidly buying up real estate. This was originally meant to be a three part story, but it's becoming longer!

Comments and feedback very much appreciated!

And special thanks to Samster for the pug! :-)