It's pride month🏳️🌈🌈 so I decided to make the bookstore window picnic themed, it came out so lovely 💗
Since I won't be able to actively make any type of content soon, I'll just be doing public lifestyle updates through out the week~ for example I'll share ~my daily routines ~sketchbooks sketches ~my journals ~music recommendations ~art ~book recommendations ~My korean studies ~my personal meditations and whatever else i feel like sharing~ I want to open up more, and start using patreon as a personal blog this year, so I hope you all enjoyed the things I share 💗
It was honestly a very rainy humid Sunday for me, and the day went by so quickly too! Nothing much happened this Sunday~ so I'm going to end the night relaxing with some tea.
I hope yall had a very easy first Sunday of the month~
P.s what else would you like me to share from my daily life?
Hi everyone 2023 has been an... extremely overwhelming year for me so far. I don't even know where to start.....this year I finally had the courage to flee my toxic domestic relationship. I've been processing alot of deep complex emotions now that I'm finally free and have been going to therapy to help me... i was going through narcissistic abuse for 4 years... i didnt want to believe it, but thats exactly what was happening.... it was so debilitating that i developed narcissistic abuse syndrome....ive never opened up about the abuse I've went through, so I want to start now.
I met him fresh out of highschool.. i was 18...he was charming and even helped me move into my first apartment. But now I realized I was groomed and used.... he wouldn't help me with any bills or anything at my apartment and would get upset when I asked for the bare minimum. Being with him left me in debt and has literally traumatized me... he used me for my body and was feeding off of my emotional energy. I would feel hollow and empty all the time...
Despite all of the red flags, i still decided to moved in with him in 2019.... that's when I started really noticing the narcissistic abuse...everytime I would bring up something he would gaslight me, lie, or play the victim. I would be as open as possible about the love and care I needed to receive but he didn't care.. i would plead to be respected and loved. But after years of the same cycle..I found it difficult to speak up and stand up for myself, and hold boundaries with this particular person..
I feel sick sometimes.. when I think about the abuse I went through.. the relationship was not kind, caring, or sane....i didnt deserve all the pain and suffering ive went through. he used and took advantage of me. He's hurt me in so many ways and I still tried to be patient and understanding and loving. But this person continued to manipulate me and use me. He's hurt me and caused so much pain and shame in my life.. and its going to take a long time for me to process and heal from what I've went through.
The relationship made me feel hopeless stuck and physically sick at times. I was constantly afraid restless anxious and depressed. I questioned reality and self isolated myself out of shame. I felt disoriented and out of control, angry and lonely.. he made me compromise myself and my soul.... I should never have to do that for love..
My mania and PTSD was so bad because of the abuse i literally only felt safe if I left the state to get away from him.. I told myself living in the woods homeless in another state is better than another day experiencing this narcissistic abuse.... I needed to get away from him because he was quite literally driving me insane..
Now im back in my city, in a safe environment, getting the care and help I need to recover. I decided to abandon all of my things at my abusers place because I didn't feel safe going back there. I feel sick even thinking about the address, and honestly just want to move on and focus on healing...
Due to my living situation I won't be able to make content anytime soon, and honestly I truly want to focus on healing this year.
It feels.. like a weight had been lifted to finally tell my story. I must remember that i have so many people that love and care about me. I don't have to go through these things alone. I deserve to tell my story and to be heard. I'm so happy im finally free from that situation and getting the love and care that I need.
I want to say thank you again to every last person that has shown me continuous love and support. You have no idea how much it means to me.. thank you for believing me
It's monday and I had an eye appointment today. I'm getting new glasses. I felt really pretty today, I'm starting to really love the color green on me🍏💚
Also sorry for the delay on the new patreon Tier. I'm still waiting on supplies to be shipped and some packages got lost in the mail over the holidays, but here's a sneak peak of some of the things you'll be receiving from the new patron tier 🖤 -an assortment of bubblyzelda stickers -buttons -prints -bookmarks And so much more~
It's already a week into 2023 and I'm excited~ I have alot of surprises coming up in the future so just stay tuned~ and remember to take care of yourself. I know 2023 will be great 💞
Hi there companions~ I hope you enjoyed your holidays💞 I feel really good about 2023. I have some pretty exciting things coming up. I've been cleaning and getting organized this self care Sundayyyy✨️
But how have you been? What are some goals you have for 2023?
Hey all! I hope the beginning of 2023 has been well for you~ I had alot of fun hanging out with friends and family over the holiday season. I have a lot fun things planned for this year.
There will be alot of updates this month so keep your eyes open for my post! For now enjoy the rest of your Wednesday~
Hope you are enjoying the holiday season~ just wanted to let you know that things will be a bit slow, I'll be mostly spending time with friends and family these upcoming weeks so there won't be any new content at the moment.
Also, Good news! I have custom dark elf merch on the way for the new patron tier that im working on. the stickers, buttons and prints came out so cute! I might even start a shop~ as soon as I get them in I'll make sure to show you all! You'll be the first to see~
I have some exciting things for 2023, I hope you continue to venture with me into the new year~
Happy self care sunday~ I'm so happy I got this gorgeous twilight princess harness in before the holidays! I already have so many things planned with it~ Here's a lil sneak peak of me having some fun in it, I hope I made your self care sunday a lil better💞
Happy hump day yall! I have exciting news, a new elven companion tier The Friendly Elf Companion~
This tier is only $1 and for companions that simply want to help support my adventures behind the scenes~ a little bit goes a long way and I'm always grateful for any type of support💞
Friendly companions will have access to my patreon-only feed, weekly updates, and Patreon only elven content~
I will be releasing another Tier next week! I'm currently still waiting for supplies and items to arrive in the mail, but I will need your address for this tier so I can send you some magical presents as a thank-you for your support! Thanks to your support, now I can send out some fun things to you all!
Here are just a few items you'll receive in the new Tier
handwritten thank you note
some lovely themed sketches!
Dark elf stickers and buttons
Fantasy cosplay prints
fantasy bookmarks
And more~
I'll be posting a poll asking you all for gift suggestions you'd like, because I am still thinking about adding more~
It's self care sunday~ it's the last day of throwback week so here's a throwback to my favorite drow look~ I should bring this look back I only wore this once !
Happy Sunday Companions! It's almost the end of another year, and I'm so glad you continued on this wonderful journey with me. Whether you've been with me since the beginning or just joined in on my adventures, thank you for supporting me.
With the holidays just around the corner, I understand if you cannot support your favorite black elf. As the year is coming to a close, content will be a lil slow this holiday season. I will be editing and updating my Patreon and other social medias, but as always, I will continue to post behind-the-scenes content on Patreon.
As a valued companion, I would love your honest input. As an amateur creator, I take your suggestions to heart. It would be a dream to create content full-time, so I would love to hear your input!
SO! what type of content would you like to see more of in the future? Here is a poll with just a few ideas, but please feel free to comment or privately message me with your suggestions!
there will be another poll specifically for my favort consort companions as well asking for input on my NSFW content, so look out for that!
hiya, companions~ I hope your Monday treated you well. I started my week reorganizing my bookshelves.
Here are some extra galaxy elf pictures I never showed you all! I hope they brighten up the start of your week.
I've noticed I never seem to repost content. Occasionally, I forget to post certain cosplays. Maybe I should make this week a throwback week, and show more of my favorite looks. After all, we're at the end of the year, and I experimented a lot in 2022! Let's take a walk down memory lane and take a look at some of my favorite looks~
Look out for throwback pictures this week!
so, Which fantasy cosplay of mine is your favorite?
Another Sundayyyyyy~ I hope you all enjoyed your Sunday. I spent the day relaxing and simply resting today~ fun fact, today is national black consciousness day! So I decided to do a natural elven look, honoring my natural black features~
✏️Sketchbook dump !
Here's today's sketches, I love drawing textured hair~ I've been having alot of fun drawing different types of hairstyles~ so for national black consciousness day, here are some old and new drawings I have featuring different black characters with different hairstyles~
Good morning companions! I can't believe I haven't posted my zelda cosplay with my braids. I seriously love cosplaying as my favorite princess. The goal is to cosplay every version of princess zelda💙
Hey all! It's been a while Hu? so sorry about that... I've been settling into my new job and setting up a content schedule to stay on top of things. I've been getting things together behind the scenes. I feel great this week! I feel energized and inspired! It's me time Monday so here's an update~
New patreon content schedule:
Ive finally set up a weekly content schedule that works for me! So I will be posting content 3 times a week on Mondays Thursdays and Sundays! This will help me stay organized with my content rather that posting sporadically or not at all. (This will also help me not overwhelm myself~)
New patreon tier(s)
I'll be FINALLY posting the new patron tiers on November 30th, just in time for the holidays~ again thank yall for being patient with me.
Weekly sketch book dumps!!
I've been sketching and drawing alot more so I'll be posting some pages in my sketchbooks throughout the week, and I'll even ask you all what I should draw next. Well, that's all for this Monday! I've been really just organizing things for the holidays and the new year. I hope you all enjoy your week~
Im so excited for next year, Are you all ready for 2023??
It's November, a new month! I can't believe it's only two months until 2023 already. I never thought I'd say this but I was not in the mood for October ( I know shocking right???) so much was going on that I couldn't even really concentrate on projects, upcoming content, or anything Halloween-related :(
This year really taught me how unorganized I am at managing my time, but as an amateur creator, this is a learning process. So I must be patient with myself. I'm doing my best! After all, I am human, not just content. So thank you all again for being patient with me as I try to become a better creator.
Now that October is over, I feel like I can breathe again. I'm so excited about November! I start my new job this month and will have a lot more time and energy to focus on content. (I loved being a bookseller but it takes A LOT and I mean A LOT of energy out of a person. Especially a highly sensitive person like myself. I would feel so depleted after every shift...)
It still breaks my heart to leave my beloved local bookstore, so I'll be posting some of my favorite bookseller outfits and bookstore window displays all month long! For Halloween, there was a parade on our street, so I decided to dress up as a celestial elf princess! It was a pleasure handing out candy and free books to children. Everyone's eyes seemed to light up when they saw my costume. It was a lot of fun!
Aside from that, I am currently on hiatus (yeah,,,, another one,,) so I will not be active online until 2023. Don't worry my companions, I will continue to be active here. This is like my home, so I will continue to post life updates, upcoming cosplays, and BTS projects. ~
i can't wait to show you all what I have planned for the rest of the year. 2023 is going to be good~
Happy new moon my beloveds~ October has been full of exciting, unexpected surprises. Thank you for being patient with me while I'm not as active here as I would like. I wanted to do so much more this October, but life had other plans. so here's a life update
no more bookselling for this elf :(
I've recently put in my two weeks at my bookstore. I'm still really sensitive about quitting my job as a bookseller...I truly enjoyed selling books! It was so satisfying to find a customer's perfect book, and It's always exciting when customers recommend books to me. I met some amazing people while working as a bookseller. It was always a pleasure to meet first-published local authors and to meet well-known authors as well. This Little elf will miss handing out books to happy customers. The good news is I will be working at a better job with more benefits and opportunities. So please be patient with me as I am currently transitioning between jobs.
TW// devastating school shooting in my city.
Yesterday, there was an active shooter at the high school where I graduated. the news devastated me. it's traumatizing enough to witness school shootings everyday, but knowing someone walked down the same halls you did... shooting at the same staff that has helped you, at students you've grown up with in the same neighborhood,,, and at I just couldn't take it. it breaks my heart. I will be on a short hiatus until November. my community is shattered right now, and I need some time to grieve and sit with my emotions. I'm still in denial. And need time to rest.... I can't thank you all enough for being so patient with me. Please keep the victims in your hearts.
signing my class mural on graduation day.
Prom during my senior year.
New tiers update
I was planning to add two more tiers to my Patreon but due to personal reasons, I will have to publish the added tiers next month. Keep an eye out for posts with updates on the new tiers.
Halloween(?!?!)
even though I'm not in the spooky Halloween spirit, I'm happy I got my Halloween costume in just before Halloween~ Here's a sneak peek at my raven cosplay. I haven't had time to make content with this cosplay yet, but I have some really fun (and sexy) shoots coming up in the future~
Thank you all again for continuing to support me. You'll never know how much it means to me💜
Hi you all! It's me time Monday♡ and guess what? I got brand-new glasses! It's been a lonnnggggg month. So I decided to take myself out on a fancy breakfast date and spend some time at the library~
I had a three-day booksellers conference last week, and it took a LOT of energy out of me, so sorry for being inactive. I had the opportunity to represent my bookstore at a fashion show competition and won third place! It was so much fun and I got so many compliments. It was amazing meeting other booksellers, and conversing with such talented authors.
Now that the conference is over, I have more time to focus on spooky Halloween content, so this week's theme will be celestial! I've been feeling very ethereal all month. I even plan on dressing up as a celestial witch at work for Halloween~
I also plan on releasing 2 brand-new tiers on Halloween! So be sure to keep a lookout for that~
what have you been reading anything this month? here are my current reads for this month
Mnidoo Bemaasing Bemaadiziwin
reclaiming reconnecting and demystifying 'Resiliency' as life force energy for residential school survivors. by Dr. Theresa Turmel
house of hunger by Alexis Henderson
a little book of spells by Jacqueline towers
thanks for continuing to support this bookish elf~ I love sharing my lil adventures with you all🖤
It's me time mondays! I spent the day Journaling at the park, it was definitely needed. Last week was hectic, and stressful, so I'm happy I spent some time in the sun today~
It's also the last day of world space week! So you know I just had to wear my celestial skirt and try out a galaxy elf look! I had alot of fun🌙🌌🌙🌌
I hope you enjoy your week ahead. You got this !🌿💞
sometimes I don't feel fully refreshed after my self-care Sundays, or I just need a little extra time to myself before the week begins. So on Mondays, I do a solitude ritual where I spend some time alone with myself to prepare for the week
It's Me time Monday yall and It's the first Monday of October! I feel really good about this month~ so here's what I've been up to, and what I got planned for this spooky season.
now that I'm fully recovered from Covid I'm so ready for the spooky season! I haven't been cosplaying any characters as much because of finances, but thanks to your support I'm able to cosplay my favorite characters this Halloween season! so I can't wait to surprise you all with some fun cosplays I have in store. for Halloween, I'll be cosplaying raven from teen titans! will you be dressing up this Halloween? what cosplays would you like to see me do this month?
also! another new Patreon tier? you got that right! dark elven blessings will be available later this month! this tier will ask for your shipping information so that I can send fun goodies out to companions~ some fun goodies I'm planning to ship out to you all are.
dark elf stickers
bookstore stickers, bookmarks, and other fun gifts in my bookstore
dark elf and cosplay prints
personally written affirmations to help you start your month
pins and buttons!
and more! what fun merch would you like sent to you? (feel free to comment or direct message me, I'm still getting this tier together and would love your input~)
weekly rituals!
for this Halloween season, I'll also be sharing my own personal rituals! such as
lunar rituals
food rituals
indulgence rituals
meditation rituals
self-care rituals
and more~
this is just a Lil taste of what I have going on this October! so be sure to keep up with my Patreon post to keep up with updates~
enjoy your week, I have to do the bookstore window this week for Halloween.
what do you have planned for this first week of October?
signing my class mural on graduation day.
Prom during my senior year.
