civvie11

INTERSPECIES CONFLICT BOWL '99 (Sponsored by Weyland-Yutani)

YouTube, as a platform, would probably be very unhappy with this video if I had called it "Race War '99" like I was planning to and it also might have attracted the wrong kind of audience. And been demonetized. That's a title that might fly in 00's YouTube.

As a Disney's Alien and Predator nerd, this is one I played a lot of back in the day. That won't stop me from including footage of myself eating shit because that's way more entertaining. 

A...

ROUNDUP 5: THE REKINDLING

For months I have been looking through the detritus that comes down the Boom Shoot Toob™ and attempting to filter out worthwhile shooting games. I ignored Realms Deep and Next Fest (mostly) and now, in the midst of Steam's much less stacked FPS Fest, I bring you some recommendations and one shitpost game.

This particular roundup was originally going to happen in March. The problem was that the rapidly expanding script I'd written was mostly about 3D Realms circ...

PROFESSIONAL CEREAL NIGHTMARE

A palate cleanser if I've ever had one, Chex Quest, a title requested with mind-boggling frequency that I will never truly understand, is a pleasant trip to a simpler time when companies cared about the games they released.

Cereal companies. Cereal companies cared about the games they released.

This isn't Sneak King or Pepsi Man or some trashy thing cooked up by a marketing executive. This is a surprisingly well made thing cooked up...

3D REALMS VIBE CHECK

What began as a roundup exploded into this.

There's still a roundup coming next month with a bunch of demos and early access titles I want to highlight. I know I haven't done one in a while. I've kind of been saving up my time and energy until I thought I had a good batch of demos to talk about.

However, while I was writing the script, my rage, annoyance, and general confusion with Graven creeped in, and I was thinking "why am I surprised? This is a Slipgate Ironworks game." And t...

ERADICATOR IS WEIRD CRUNCHY DOS JANK

Somehow, Civvie made a video that was almost under 30 minutes while discussing a strange and confounding relic of the DOS era. Been sitting on this game for a while since people told me about it a long, long time ago, after which I immediately bought it on Steam, played it for an hour, got frustrated, and put it on the backburner until I felt like touching it again.

This episode is also very heavy on the idea that Civvie is slipping more and more into complete paranoid delusion which I ...

64 BITS OF STEEL

And when we least expected it, The King returned.

Fuck me sideways this video was fun to make. This game goes so fucking hard. 

I feel that I'm never really done with Duke. That there's always another adventure for him. He doesn't age! They'll never have to de-age him with CGI! I think they might want to de-emphasize his muscles a little bit. By the 2010's they were starting to look a little weird with the continued progress of graphical fidelity. But are they 64-bits? Most ...

THE WOLF THAT TIME FORGOT

After a nice little vacation, I'm kicking off 2024 with the most de-listed Wolfenstein game ever made. You can find the tiny file for the 42-year-old Apple II Castle Wolfenstein games in the same category of abandonware as this 14-year-old Raven title. Back when Raven was keeping id Software IPs alive while id was busy working on RAGE for a daunting 7 years. And now that I think about it RAGE and Wolfenstein 2009 have a lot in common - a somewhat truncated "open world" connected to l...

PATREON MASTER POST

WELCOME TO THE MASTER POST.

WELCOME TO THE MASTER POST.

I wanted to start the new year by creating this thing to catalog each update.

Here, all the Patreon posts are indexed and organized to make things easier to find. This doesn't go through the whole history of the channel, only the ad-free Patreon releases that have gone up for the past 3 years or so since those would be the important ones.

PATRON DISCORD LINK:

CHRISTMAS RUINS CIVVIE

Gather around, kids! This holiday season we're going to warm ourselves around a fire of burning trash!

Can I possibly convey the excitement I felt to do a truly terrible game again? It's been so long since I've been able to, as I've been exploring the good, perusing the so-so, mired in the mid. I never wanted to move away from trash entirely. Trash is a "sometimes food," one you can't have all the time on a YouTube channel,

Start to finish, from when I foun...

Sigil 2 - Not Too Rough

Just like last time, I've got a short video to talk about John Romero's new sadism machine/Doom episode. This is a quick look at an episode that is basically extra Sigil with a blue sky and more Cyberdemons. It didn't gel with me quite as much as the last one and I hope I do a decent job of explaining why. It's still fine, and I'd still really like to see what Romero does with a Doom 2 episode.

In this hectic holiday season, consider this an amuse bouche to the upcoming Christ...

STRIFE - THE BIG SCORE

FINALLY, ANOTHER DOOM ENGINE GAME! The one I have the least experience with because believe it or not, I even played Hexen more than Strife. Strife was one of those games I heard about before playing and probably avoided until the early-to-mid 2000's when I was curious about it and probably played it in the worst way possible, my young brain not being able to comprehend the nuances of not shooting things in the face immediately. Who would design a game where you didn't shoot things in the fac...

WON'T GET BLUM'D AGAIN - BLIND S.T.A.L.K.E.R. #4

We've reached the end of our S.T.A.L.K.E.R. journey for now. I thought of extending the series but the real meat of the episode ended up being brain scorching and taking personal revenge on the game after getting my brain scorched.

I got a second wind after recording most of the gameplay for the next video (Strife) and went back to conquer The Zone, knowing it wouldn't be easy. Each quest ending up screwing me over in unexpected ways never once actually annoyed me. I would w...

geist - meat suit riot

This was one I was really excited about.

So the story in the intro of this video is correct in the sense that someone did once do me a kindness and asked for a video on this game and that was a long, long time ago. I never forgot. This game lived rent free in my head for years.

Every October, I thought "this is going to be the year" and something usually prevented it. I fought with a lot of technical issues at the time but never forgot about ...

NecroVision - Horror of the Trenchbloom

Ah, October, my favorite month of the year. Not just because it gives me an excuse to ignore every new release happening after Realms Deep, which I haven't watched yet so don't spoil it! I will absolutely get around to watching all four hours of it before the next one happens.

No, I love October because I get to do weird horror games. NecroVision was a rollercoaster. It's one of those games I started playing and couldn't put down because I needed to see where the hell it was going. Baff...

SIGNS OF ARMAGEDDON: BLIND S.T.A.L.K.E.R. #3

Before starting in earnest on the October videos, we have another S.T.A.L.K.E.R. episode to tide everyone over. Sometimes videos write themselves and that was the case here. In some of the more fun trips in Postal 2, the game would provide me with weird shit that would come seemingly out of nowhere, and S.T.A.L.K.E.R. decided to give me the same luxury this time too. I don't even have to go looking for trouble!

Another episode of this will drop in November after we're ...

TURBO OVERKILL - SAW OF THESEUS

Boomshoot season concludes with a massive, unrelenting assault on the senses. An Apogee throwback that melted my face off. A conscious disregard of the placement of any lines and a giddy excitement to cross them. 10-12 hours of shared madness in the glow of cyberpunk neon.

Had a lot of fun with this one and I hope it can, for about 45 minutes, distract everyone from Starfield, Bethesda's newest experiment in dragging my balls over broken glass for about 12 hours until the ga...

ZORTCH REPORT

Hey look it's the Zortch video I've been trying to get out for months that's been postponed by new releases and STALKER videos and that Soldier of Fortune video, hooray for ZORTCH!

To say that the last few months have been exhausting with the amount of releases is an incredible understatement and I'm sure there are people ready to comment "CIVVIE WHERE IS A QUAKE 2 REMASTER VIDEO/TURBO OVERKILL/AMID EVIL: THE BLACK LABYRINTH, SPRAWL, etc" and the best answer I can give is "I...

WHAT'S CIVVIE PLAYING? BLOOD: FLESHED OUT: EPISODE 3

CIVVIE NEVER FORGOT ABOUT THE PATREON EXCLUSIVE VIDEOS

I never forgot about this and I haven't stopped thinking about it for months. In the back of my mind, a voice whispers "More BLOOD, Civvie." The footage was captured in April, the script was written in July, and it is now nearly the middle of August. I must... BLOOD.

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An even newer Patreon discord invite link!

Patron discord link:

Copy and p...

CIVVIE SHILLS RISE OF THE TRIAD: LUDICROUS EDITION

You knew this was coming so let's get it out of the way now:

This remaster is awesome. If you love ROTT. If you hate ROTT, you probably shouldn't pick it up, and you'd think that goes without saying but this is the internet and ignoring the obvious in favor of being mad about something is the internet's favorite pastime.

I never expected ROTT to get this kind of love even from Nightdive and New Blood. It's an important game for the channel, I feel, since most videos have ROTT ...

BLIND STALKER #2

Hey kids,

Continuing with STALKER because I would like to have a somewhat consistent release schedule for the series. You know, until October, when I have to do spooky games. The end of this video might qualify as horror but in the way that's adorable because they're trying but it's also awkward and jank.

Also, I've attempted to use Patreon's new video hosting feature to make it so that you can see it here directly instead of YouTube. If this doesn't work, I have a YouTube uploa...

SOLDIER OF FORTUNE - MAXIMUM TACTIGHOUL

Ghouls?

Yes, ghouls, and don't worry, only the first minute or so has rainbow replacing this game's ridiculous gore effects. We'll see what YouTube thinks about it when I try to monetize for the public release. I'm not optimistic but damn this game was fun. I actually hadn't played it and found myself so engrossed that I couldn't pull myself away for the entire six hours it took to beat. Just a solid Raven classic that is kind of weird. If I sound like I'm having an awesome time it's ...

BLIND S.T.A.L.K.E.R. #1

It's time.

A while back when I started doing Thief 2 as a series, I was planning something else. I wanted to get through Thief 2 because it is wonderful, classic, and one of the finest PC games ever made, with a rich tapestry of a story and a villain that sounds ridiculous.

However, at that time, I decided that as soon as Thief 2 was done, there was another game, one that you've all been asking for forever, and one that I didn't have any experience with. The king of slavjank as ...

BOLTGUN

BOLTGUN

Look! It's the highly anticipated boomer shooter Warhammer 40,000: Boltgun, the tale of an angry religious fanatic shooting things with giant space guns! I'd never heard of this game until a couple weeks ago when it came out. I can't believe no one told me about it! Did you guys know?

As hinted at the end of this video (and the pile at the end of the Blake Stone video) HROT should come next unless I play through episode 3 ...

SLAYERS X: MANCHILD REVIEW: DAWN OF THE X-SLAYER

Greetings, patrons! Hot off the presses for once in my life, this video comes out for you guys the day the game releases because I got access to it like a month ago. Thanks, Zane!

If you ever wanted the YouTube equivalent of Attention Deficit Disorder, have I got a video for you! We've got X-Slaying, we've got existential freakouts, we've got a rundown on the career of Jonny Lee Miller, references to Uncle Frank, and so much more!

This video was a blast to make. Fun from start...

BLAKE STONE - THE SPY WHO FRAGGED ME

Blake Stone is a game I never played back in the day. I didn't even play through Aliens of Gold until last year despite having the game on Steam since 2013 when it came free in the Apogee Throwback Pack after I pre-ordered ROTT 2013.  

When I said "What the fuck is a Blake Stone," I meant it.

This is all before diving into... uh... Slayers X, I think? The new release schedule is funky and my minimal attempts to get an early review code for Boltgun (which I've pre-o...

PETTY THIEF: THE METAL AGE FINALE

After much fanfare... after some fanfare, I have completed the Thief 2 saga. I wish it hadn't taken so long but certain other things get in the way, like not wanting my only other video during a month of YouTube shorts about TNT to be an even lower-performing Thief video.

This one felt special because the first two maps are trash and the last is unique among Thief levels in that it's a ball-buster. A steel ball-buster. A destroyer of Newtons Cradles. I'd never done it on expe...

HEXEN II - THE GREAT HECATOMB

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming where I don't have to edit in a 9x16 aspect ratio or not say the word "fuck" a lot. You never realize how much you use a word until you're forced to censor it for a bit that's gone on way too long.

An extra long and special video about Hexen 2, a game I do not hate, despite how angry it makes me sometimes. If you've never played it I hope that you aren't totally lost during this video because I was. Fun edit, though, really felt nice...

THE APRIL FOOL'S PROJECT

Welcome to my nightmare. 

The absolute end of all sane decisions as a Content Creator™.

What I have provided is the finished half of the April Fool's Project, which I have dubbed TIKTOK N' TORMENT. In a misguided attempt to maximize algorithmic potential, we seek the apex of profitability. One of these is going to be released every day for the month of April.

WHY DON'T I UPLOAD THIS ON TIKTOK? BECAUSE EVERYONE SUBSCRIBED TO ME IS ON YOUTUBE.

If you think it ...

PRO DOOM: NO REST FOR THE LIVING

I'm back from a short vacation where I picked up some kind of bug so if I'm not 100% around for the comments it's because I'm injecting Vitamin C between my toes.

You'd think being sick would throw off my schedule but nah I'm still on track for April Fool's and patrons will get to see some of that early. (It's complicated.)

I've been meaning to do a No Rest For The Living video for quite a while but it has been slipping through the cracks. You may have even seen it mentioned in p...

PETTY THIEF: THE METAL AGE #5

Sometimes I forget how fun it is to put together a nice, simple, straightforward part of a series. They go fast, and sometimes hard, and then also sometimes soft, like Thief, and I've honestly forgotten whatever metaphor I was reaching for with this. 

Not much to say here because I think this is one of the more joke-heavy Thief videos and it is all the better for it. Im-sim (and, arguable im-sim Postal 2) videos are always greatly helped by the game doing weird things to put an une...