“Weedgardium Leviosa!”
Wearing a wizard’s hat, Vainqueur unleashed his hoard-shattering magic, to bring back life to a barren land with a swipe of the hand.
And nothing happened.
The dragon let out a frustrated snarl, punching the fields with his fists. The golem farmer laboring them with a plow stopped to complain, “Yer Majesty, you’re damaging Rolo’s cultures!”
“Then tell magic to be less difficult!” Vainqueur replied, throwing away the wizard...
2020-01-31 16:33:44 +0000 UTC
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- “The Moon Disaster,” by Pink Ranger, opening crawl.
This is a tempestuous time for the V&V Empire. The good Emperor Vainqueur, wealthy may he grow, triumphed over the Legions of Thieves who would threaten his hoard. The path to the stars is open!
Among the scraps of destroyed arrows of metal, the courageous Buzz Jelly prepares to board a ship to the Mooooon! Its mission: to claim the new planet in the name of the empire an...
2020-01-28 19:41:37 +0000 UTC
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In the safety of his vault, Vainqueur Knightsbane took a handful of coins from his hoard and showered his niece with them.
He had allowed his niece to rest on his hoard for the week until the warmth of his gold helped her forget her captivity at the hands of these bat-beasts. Yet, in spite of his best efforts, she remained quiet and slightly scared of the outside.
“Uncle,” Jolie finally asked him. “Do I have a birth defect?”
“Of course not!” Vainqueur reass...
2020-01-28 15:34:27 +0000 UTC
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Vainqueur was absolutely livid.
First of all, the bats had struck at his second-most prized possession: his one and only friend. They had trashed his house, leaving only a pile of rubble before which the dragon and his minions stood. They had caught the souls of his prized lackeys—thankfully none of whom Vainqueur knew the names of—and wounded Sweet Chocolatine.
Second, these savages didn’t appreciate the taste of dragon blood. A half-dragon, but dragon blo...
2020-01-24 16:39:33 +0000 UTC
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Victor thought they would just have to wait for dawn, protected by Kia’s shield. He was wrong.
Emile whistled, giving the signal for his group to attack. A cowled figure with a scythe, a vampiric grim reaper, walked through the shield as if it wasn’t even there.
Reaper Deathscythe used [Skeleton Key] to bypass [Shield of Light]!
Of course vampires assassins would have a...
2020-01-21 17:06:41 +0000 UTC
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Choose the last special chapter of volume II!
1) Buzz's Jellylike Adventures
The time has finally come for the first inhabited space flight in the history of Outremonde, and Buzz Jelly is at its helm! Now, our favorite slime must survive it! Facing engineering problems, explosions, and eldritch horrors from the grim darkness of space, can Buzz Jelly fly all the way to the Mooooooon?
2) Junior's Little Angels
Junior not...
2020-01-21 17:06:34 +0000 UTC
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“Hit?” Junior asked him, its blue jelly protegee resting on its sword lure.
“With one of your natural Perks,” Victor explained, resting on an armchair in his manor’s hall, next to the fireplace. He kept his new scythe, and the bazooka, on each side. “Nothing too painful, after I prepare myself mentally—”
The blue jelly nodded at each of his words.
Then it jumped and hit him in the eye through his helmet’s chinks!
Victor let out a scream of surprise an...
2020-01-17 15:28:34 +0000 UTC
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“They fled.”
Vainqueur glared at his chief of staff. “What do you mean by ‘they fled’?” Food did not flee!
Manling Victor sighed sheepishly, as more than a dozen monstrous priests imitated Vainqueur. All of them stood outside the temple of Murmurin, which had been taken over by ghoul soldiers. “She no longer shows up on the map. She must have teleported away when we moved in.”
“You interrupted our morning rituals for nothing?!” a priestess of Shesha compl...
2020-01-14 18:58:00 +0000 UTC
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Far, far east of Gardemagne sprawled the lands of Serica, the Eastern Continent. Among the countries fighting to control it, few could rival the Jade Empire.
This enormous, fertile landmass was famous for its culture, military power, riches… and the wise dragon philosopher advising the imperial family. Sometimes, it even granted audiences to outsiders looking for answers and wisdom.
Waiting in front of the golden gates of the dragon’s temple, the sorcerer mused at the ir...
2020-01-12 07:34:29 +0000 UTC
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“This is the Nightblades’ warehouse,” Manling Victor told his master from the back of his flaming horse, as a troop of minions encircled a stone house in broad daylight. “Where they stashed the stuff they smuggled into the country.”
“To think that I spared them the evil of taxes, and they repaid me by killing my food,” Vainqueur complained.
Their wizards and priests finished examining the house from the outside, in case the occupants had set a trap. The dragon smelle...
2020-01-08 12:10:18 +0000 UTC
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Every dragon had to face a minion war at one point.
These events, where minions envying one another escalated into fighting, usually happened over breeding matters; or at least it did, the last time Vainqueur employed goblins. Two of his lackeys had dueled over a female while he was on a hunt, and he came back to his lair to find the dispute had spiraled into a full-blown civil war.
Worse, they had left his hoard unattended while killing one another!
The survivo...
2020-01-06 10:58:01 +0000 UTC
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Choose the chapter you want written! And as asked by patrons, you can find a (terrible) map of Outremonde's Mistral Continent attached to this Poll.
1) A Lich's Tale
Freshly released from his prison, Furibon is a lich with an illness: the mysterious disease known as [Stockholm Syndrome], capable of affecting even the undead. Determined to cure this new Status Ailment, Furibon embarks on a journey of self-discovery, artifact hunting, and lead hoarding. <...
2020-01-06 10:57:30 +0000 UTC
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With his head held fashionably high, so all could see his crown shine under the sun, Vainqueur paraded through the streets of his capital like a lion among sheep. His kobold minions formed two columns at his sides, driving a wedge through the thousands of monsters singing his name.
“Vainqueur! Vainqueur! Vainqueur!”
As a good emperor, Vainqueur smugly pretended not to hear them.
Secretly though, he relished the attention. After spending so long holed up in his vault, hun...
2020-01-04 18:01:26 +0000 UTC
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As asked by Patrons during the consultation, here is a list of the Vainqueur-verse recurring characters; since most of them have classes in flux, and to avoid spoilers, most of them don't have their current classes revealed (with a few exceptions).
Also, Patreon has now been updated; the minion tier has been lowered to 1 dollar to allow more people to participate in polls, while Dracolich patrons can now access a drive full of exclusive content.
-----------------------...
2020-01-02 17:31:17 +0000 UTC
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Hi there,
As part of the Patreon upgrade, you now receive access to a drive containing behind the scenes documents about the worlds of Vainqueur (and to a lesser degree, Magik Online).
Most of these documents were formatted like a tabletop RPG, including information about classes, the various gods etc... there are enough information within to perhaps create your own characters/protagonists for the Vainqueur universe, if you want to roleplay them.
If there is popular d...
2020-01-02 17:29:06 +0000 UTC
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Congratulations! For repeatedly surviving a werewolf’s bite, you earned the [Silverfang] Personal Perk!
[Silverfang]: When biting a mono-type Humanoid, you can infect them with the Curse of Lycanthropy if they fail a moderate Vitality check. On the next full moon, unless the curse is dispelled, their species permanently change to werewolf (Humanoid/Beast).
2020-01-01 21:48:00 +0000 UTC
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Hi there, dear patrons,
First, I want to tell you something.
THANK YOU!
Thank you for supporting me through the year 2019! It's been a wild ride, and an amazing experience. Patreon has gone from an experiment to a game changer in my life, and I am truly grateful for your support.
You're awesome.
You're marvelous.
You're the best.
So now that 2019 is reaching its end and a new year begins, I would lik...
2019-12-30 16:40:56 +0000 UTC
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Vainqueur had never understood the appeal of agriculture.
How could anyone spend their life wading through dung, manhandling cows, or laboring in the fields, when they could look for gold instead? Peasantry was the very definition of minion work.
But as he opened his coin seed bag, imagining them growing into shining piles which he could then harvest, the dragon realized that he had been wrong. Watching his gold grow from the earth would make for honest dragon work.
2019-12-28 19:43:59 +0000 UTC
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“What do you mean, my Karma Credit Score is in the red?!”
“Due to ‘chaotic behavior,’ ‘dishonorable combat maneuvers’ and ‘remorseless killing of thine own kind,’ your karma has moved towards a weak shade of chaotic evil,” Miel read him a report with a frown on her face. “Your new classes also do not inspire confidence.”
“That's ridiculous! I earned them saving baby dragons from raiders!”
“Adventurers whose job loss is indirectly your d...
2019-12-24 09:39:16 +0000 UTC
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The fomor Hamelin loved human weapons.
“This is the legendary weapon [Magnum],” he told the manling while presenting him the silver-plated gun. “It was used by Knight Lee Oswald to kill King Lincoln at the battle of Pearl Harbor. It is like a bow that can pierce even the toughest hide.”
The manling, some self-righteous bounty hunter, looked at the weapon with fascination. “King Lincoln?”
“The King of America, the world beyond the sea,” Hameli...
2019-12-20 12:10:48 +0000 UTC
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“I’m surprised Your Majesty wanted to join me on this one,” Manling Victor said, guiding his master to a valley near Murmurin. “I thought you considered ruling minion work.”
“The vile Furibon has returned, Friend Victor,” Vainqueur reminded his trusty sidekick. “My empire is no longer safe. We must remain vigilant, and prepare for the dark times ahead.”
There was still one of those conmanlings to deal with, but with Furibon’s escape, Vainqueur had decided to pu...
2019-12-18 17:53:05 +0000 UTC
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A corpse tower.
That was the best way Shroud could describe the Black Neurotower. Unlike the intimidating, yet colorful structure in the Midnight Market, this nightmarish location seemed straight out of a horror movie. The structure seemed made of accumulated bones and corpses made of black metal, screaming faces of dragons, humans, and serpents frozen in time. The walls leaked a thick oil mixing with the ice, while a ring of energy surrounded the summit, spilling darkness across ...
2019-12-18 17:52:06 +0000 UTC
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For the first time since forever, Vainqueur found himself on the defensive.
Nothing worked!
The golem brushed off his claws, fangs, spells, and dragonfire! Dragonfire! The mightiest, warmest gift of dragonkind didn’t work on a, a… a farming machine!
The golem kept fighting him at close range, and every stab of its sword stung. When Vainqueur attempted to put distance between them, the creature pointed its shield at him and ...
2019-12-15 10:02:40 +0000 UTC
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The forest smelled of dung and paupers.
Vainqueur always knew this day would come; when an army of pitchfork-wielding peasants, fairies, and minion strikers, envious of his well-deserved wealth, would gather in a great rabble host and try to bring him down. The emperor of all knew that in this time of need, he would be called to serve as the final bulwark of dragon civilization against those who would try to tear it down.
“Do you see him?” the vile pauper leading a small group...
2019-12-13 20:47:06 +0000 UTC
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The problem of evil.
‘Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.’
‘Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.’
‘Is he both able and willing? Then from whence comes evil?’
That question had divided priests and philosophers for centuries, and Shroud had stumbled upon the terrible answer. The answer Manus, his mother, anyone who ever glimpsed the truth could never accept.
Dis had a God, and it was ...
2019-12-11 08:05:29 +0000 UTC
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Vainqueur hated frost.
He had taken residence in the southern Albain Mountains because he thought that it would deter thieves, but the chilly air of his beloved mountains couldn’t compare to that of the so-called Winter Kingdoms. Located north of the Nightlands, this vast expanse seemed entirely covered in snow; even now, in the middle of the day, a weak hail kept bothering his flight.
“It’s cold…” Manling Victor shook like a tree while flying at his master’s sid...
2019-12-08 19:20:35 +0000 UTC
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The Nightlands were just as Victor had imagined them to be: dark.
Ever since the powerful vampire Orlock had cast a dark ritual over the land, the entire country had been trapped under a veil of eternal twilight. While it was noon, dark clouds obscured the skies and dimmed the sunlight. The flora on the ground looked twisted enough to survive in this kind of environment, from forests of black thorns to roses with eyes.
They had noticed a lot of giant bats and wolves on...
2019-12-06 18:28:59 +0000 UTC
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Choose the chapter you want written this month!
1) the Price War
The angels have developed a new strategy to corner Murmurin's soul market: the White Friday. Happyland is not happy; and they have watched Game of Thrones. Time for a tale of bloody corporate intrigue, cold-blooded price cutting, and market cornering.
2) the Mooooon Race!
The Moon Man has spoken; his true prophet will ...
2019-12-04 12:54:54 +0000 UTC
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As Mars had warned, California had been turned into a warzone.
Instead of a ground assault led by shock troops, the Malebranche had elected to take a note from Concordia’s own book. Massive frigates bombarded the Arc City of San Francisco with beams of crimson light, with hundreds of smaller, Reaver ships descended to finish off the survivors. The flames consuming Palo Alto could be seen for miles.
While Concordia had slowly moved away from anything related to the Internet and A...
2019-12-04 12:13:54 +0000 UTC
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As usual, both dragons opened their duel with their elemental breaths, Icefang unleashing ice, and Vainqueur a torrent of flames.
Of course, fire won.
Vainqueur’s flames pushed Icefang’s breath back, but the frost dragon skillfully dodged. The red dragon pursued him across the skies, knowing his rival wouldn’t stand a direct hit; he did notice that Icefang had grown faster and sleeker since their last duel, centuries ago.
“You may have become an [Emperor]...
2019-12-01 20:15:27 +0000 UTC
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