Dear strange, wonderful reader:
When I left you last, it was with a ear-splitting digital shriek of delight and triumph that could split pixels with its gusto: after years of work, BARBETTE –my aerial straps solo– will be on stage in Paris this January as part of the selection for the 44th edition of the prestigious Festival Mondial du Cirque de Demain.
I was unable to get much more articulate than the AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!
2024-12-01 04:59:18 +0000 UTC
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THAT'S IT
THAT'S THE NEWS
WE'RE GOING TO PARIS, BABY!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-
*deep inhale*
-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE DID IT WE FUCKIN' DID IT LET'S FUCKIN' GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS OF BUILDING THIS DREAM WITH YOU ALL, EVERY STEP OF THE WAY, AND IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
TH...
2024-11-14 18:37:02 +0000 UTC
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Dear reader,
When I left you last, September was cosplaying as August and I was in the belly of the beast with preparations for an updated performance of BARBETTE at a public showcase called SANS FILET at La TOHU. I’d decided I was going to shoot one last time for Cirque de Demain and I needed to re-film my act with all the higher level technique I’d been grinding towards this summer.
2024-10-29 03:22:21 +0000 UTC
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"September tries its best to have us forget summer." ~ Bernard Williams
Greetings, strange and wonderful reader. It's been a headlong sprint out of summer and into the first flush of autumn for me. I find myself , improbably, still in Montréal – for just a few more days.
First things first: if you also happen to find yourself in or around Montréal NEXT Saturday (September 28th) you can catch the latest version of LE NUMÉRO B...
2024-09-22 23:05:32 +0000 UTC
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hello there, you strange wonderful thing
I hope you enjoyed the audience-view peek at the latest update of BARBETTE. Thanks for the comments and feedback you left on the post or messaged me privately with; it's a beautiful feeling to share the continuing evolution of this work with you. Your excitement at some of the changes makes me even more excited!
Today I've got a little more background on the Le Monastère (where that previous post'...
2024-08-25 22:43:13 +0000 UTC
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My dear, strange, wonderful reader – it's been a hot second.
Quite literally: the humidity in Montréal has been unrelenting. You feel like a wrung-out, sweaty gym towel just walking a couple blocks, downhill, in the shade. It's been too hot to sleep.
I can see thunderstorm clouds gathering on the horizon, though. Big towers of grey-purple clouds are stacking themselves higher and higher, off to the right of the mountain. Once they sweep this way and break...
2024-08-07 20:01:59 +0000 UTC
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Hello, my strange and wonderful reader! Well – strange and wonderful viewer, today.
As promised, here is the recording of my performance of VACUUM from May in Toronto. Just got the footage from the event videographer a little while ago.
I had to get a whole new external hard drive for it – 8 GB, good glob. And then I had to sit my laptop on top of an ice pack as it finished exporting from my editing software because this m...
2024-06-17 01:07:17 +0000 UTC
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Happy Saturday, you strange, wonderful reader! SLOW CIRCUS: BARBETTE is officially re-stocked in Ye Olde Strange Wonderful Bookshop!
Use the code 7AC38Y7 at checkout for an extra $10 off any book orders until June 7th.
I've done some...
2024-06-01 20:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Hello, strange and wonderful reader – this evening's long offering starts a brief reflection on recent days, and then offers you some re-caps on what's been going on in film/TV world, book-world, circus-world, world-world ... you get the picture. (Speaking of which – there's pictures! wheeee)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Reporting to you today from Montréal!
The croissants are flaky (see: me stuffing my face, above); the air is mild and warm; thick t...
2024-06-01 03:49:05 +0000 UTC
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As promised! A cheeky first sneak-peek at the inside pages of this labour of love - Slow Circus: Barbette.
I’m hard at work chugging away through making all the shipping labels for you pre-orderers — and finishing up night-shoot-world on my stunt contract. It’s slow-going because I’m real tired and don’t want to make errors, but it’s going!
(Was the stunt job supposed to be done and over by now? You betcha.)
(Is it? Nope! )
(Has my body been whipl...
2024-04-19 16:09:00 +0000 UTC
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Good morning everyone! It’s 4:55am where I am, and I just wrapped on another long chilly night shoot BUT — I wanted to share this little teaser with you because THINGS ARE HAPPENING on the book front!
I picked up my special, extra-fast early shipment of 200 of the limited edition hardcover Slow Circus: Barbette books a couple days ago from my printer. I’ve been marshalling my shipping materials in my spare, zombified waking moments to get ready to prepare these shipments to go ou...
2024-04-17 08:54:27 +0000 UTC
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[1900 words, or roughly a 8–10 minute read]
Hey patrons,
What's working well in your life? What's not serving you so well anymore? What needs to change? What needs to stay the same? What needs more time before you can see that clearly, or take a step in a decisive direction?
All things I've been asking myself, too.
A few months ago, I wrapped up the final report to the Canada Council for the Arts about the BARBETTE project and sent off my final proof approva...
2024-04-05 01:53:05 +0000 UTC
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Hello patrons! After a lovely rainy morning visit with my old pal Maui here, I’ve cooked up this overdue update post for us. Here we go!
Thank you guys so much for your kind words last week about Tournelle du Soleil– it brightened my day each time a new one popped into existence and makes me feel motivated about taking that whirlwind first draft into a polished direction later this year.
I'm in the homestretch of my stunt contract on Frankenstein. I'm in...
2024-04-03 17:33:06 +0000 UTC
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Good morning, lovely patrons! My sleepy thumb swooped down and posted this before pasting a short morsel of text back into the body of this post for you —!!!
The last instalment of Tournelle du Soleil hit your inboxes mid-last week and I wanted to offer a visual collection to add on to whatever the cinema in your mind played as you read through those pieces of the story. I wanted to do a full, non-edited photodump of my camera reel from the period of time that this story to...
2024-03-25 11:00:02 +0000 UTC
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The space is packed full of bodies singing, dancing, screaming, grooving, slurring, flirting, falling, tipping, beaming, swearing, meeting, being. Local drag queens periodically take a battered microphone from the DJ, snaking through the crowd as their chosen tracks blast out a decibel louder than the music that preceded. Between sips of a light beer that’s going straight to my head I thrust singles into the long-nailed fingers of the queens, scream-sing along with my castm...
2024-03-19 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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“You were magnificent!” the businessman exclaims, arms spread wide as he cuts in amidst the other artists to stand next to me. He slides his arm around my waist, flashing watch and one well-manicured hand resting on the seam of the dress where the lower spikes meet the upper ones. It’s appropriate–but there’s a familiarity that I’m missing the context of. Okay. I lock eyes with the handler again. She looks excited.
He tips his lightly stubbled chi...
2024-03-18 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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The quick change– We didn’t tease the D-rings of the fly harness through–!
They should've been fed through the layer of the shorts and out the keyholes carefully cut and waiting in the starburst dress. Now there’s only moments left in the trampwall act. Shit shit shit shit-
I feel the rigger shift into fuck it mode: he begins trying to tear through the fabric of the silver shorts covering the harness. Cirque d...
2024-03-15 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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The bottom edge of the LED screen, aligned with the lowest step on the staircase up to the stage, drops down to around 4’10” high. The 8” heels have made me 6’3” tall. And the crown atop this wig adds another 6", easily.
The dress is architectural – stiff enough that I can’t actually bend at the waist or hips in any direction more than a couple of inches. There’s only a few bars left until it’s my cue to be getting up those stairs into the crucial fin...
2024-03-14 11:00:02 +0000 UTC
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No one can hear me, the music is at its loudest and I’m right next to a speaker.
My mind shudder-snaps through a rapid series of bad options. Staccatos over and over on SOMEONE IS COMING TO OPEN THE DOOR to the first edge of doubt, of WHAT IF NO ONE UNLOCKS THE DOOR– What if you literally cannot get out. It’s quite literally out of your control.
Nowhere in my mind did I think I could bend or break that big and thick a piece of plexiglas...
2024-03-13 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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Sam and I are crouched halfway up the stairs, hunkered down out of sight, whisper-counting furiously. We can’t peek above the stairline to see where Fiona is at in her act. There’s no clear audio mark to go by. We have to count out 32 bars. Each bar is punctuated with a jabbing finger raising or lowering. I can just make out Sam’s hands, the fan, the lower half of her face through the mesh blinders of my headpiece.
Our count marches on. Twenty-eight… Twenty...
2024-03-12 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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The day passes in parched gulps: I’m in the makeup chair again; and then photos are needed for wardrobe; and then makeup needs to do touches, and then, and then, and then–
It’s time.
Our pack of artists and creatives and technicians has been condensed to just the front room; the secondary room –the one with the couches, the bank vault– has been commandeered by the equally numerous and equally tense team of ...
2024-03-11 11:00:01 +0000 UTC
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I wake up to a new message from Matthew:
“Just wanted to say a BIG congratulations on last night's run. I don’t know how you felt, but you looked seriously strong. The act was gorgeous. Congrats friend. Very impressed by your work ethic and your aura when you perform. It was really something incredible to see. See you a little later! Again great job :)”
How did I feel? my brain repeats.
How did I feel?
Awful.
How did I...
2024-03-08 12:00:01 +0000 UTC
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All my muscles are clenched. I try to slow my heart rate with breathing exercises. Gotta relax, buddy. This ain’t gonna help.
I try to manage the rush of adrenaline that wants to dump out into my veins. Pace yourself.
Like so many other times I’ve found myself in a moment that feels as big as this, I’m reminded of my fighting days. Now, like then, I’m convinced that success doesn’t just come down to being physically pre...
2024-03-07 12:00:02 +0000 UTC
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I wake before my alarm.
Pain.
My left knee has resumed functioning like a normal knee. Right hip is seized up completely.
Even a lunge is challenging. How am I going to get through the day?
I leave the hotel early, waving at the others enjoying their morning coffees in the lobby from a distance and gritting my teeth until I’m past the wide front windows so that I can hobble and limp the rest of the way to the venue.
First ...
2024-03-06 12:00:01 +0000 UTC
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Technical validations for the day are wrapped by 5pm for most of the artists.
The tramp wall team is waiting around to see if they’ll be able to jump before the end of the night; it keeps getting pushed. As for me, the Tower is finally built: I’m going upstairs to warm up and run the act a couple times.
Ideal timing? No. Happy to get into the Tower before dress rehearsal tomorrow? Absolutely.
I march slowly back up the spiral stai...
2024-03-05 12:00:02 +0000 UTC
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Whether it was the standing on concrete floors for 8 hours yesterday, or the dancers’ jumping-based warmups, or something else entirely, it feels like someone is randomly slamming a letter opener up under my left patella at random moments during the morning’s final basement rehearsals.
LEFT patella. As in, not the kneecap on the side that I dislocated last week. That one, the right side, is feeling shockingly...fine.
It’s not just the knee, though. That same...
2024-03-04 12:00:02 +0000 UTC
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It’s time to run the choreo with the 8” heels on. I’m nervous.
Will my knee hold? Will it feel fine at first and swell up after? Argh…
I take a few tentative steps, hyper-aware that all the other artists, all the other directors, coordinators, creatives, can (and might be) watching me. Seems okay.
And it is. I make it through the choreography largely okay. Even with the brace on, a dull hot pain starts to radiate up my thigh from my...
2024-03-01 12:00:02 +0000 UTC
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I sneak upstairs with the tramp wall team and Fiona before the day’s rehearsals start. The technicians haven’t arrived yet. Soon the upstairs space will be packed full of shipping crates, metal truss, scissor lifts. We want to take a peek while the space is somewhat empty still.
Our little group scurries up a spiralling staircase and pops out through a square marble archway. All of us stand there silently. Awestruck. If the basement area is impressive, upstairs can ...
2024-02-29 12:00:06 +0000 UTC
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My anxiety and me walk out the front door of the hotel and turn left. It’s an absolutely gorgeous morning. The sidewalks are quiet. They’re also cleaner than I thought they’d be.
I shuffle through my Spotify songs, trying to find the right song to help calm me down as I cross the street and make my way under the Williamsburg bridge towards Broadway Ave. The train rattles overhead with a ferocious clatter, echoing off the dim, damp concrete around me.
A few...
2024-02-28 12:00:02 +0000 UTC
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My alarm is set for 7am. My body wakes me up at 6am. Groan. Perfect.
I slip into the clothes I laid out the night before. Carefully strap the knee brace on. Slide a pair of looser pants over top. Head for the door. I’ll enjoy a slow coffee before the day gets going.
The brass doors of the elevator slide open to the high-ceilinged, hip lobby. I was so distracted by my conversation with Matthew yesterday that I didn’t really n...
2024-02-27 12:00:03 +0000 UTC
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