Gallus Rostromegalus

Hornworm Hound

I had a Texture Experience this morning :(

Pronouns And Honorifics

My apologies about the lack of updates to Patreon, I've been having a pretty serious mental health crisis for the last two years. There will be a detailed update on the book (yes, it's still going!) this week, and a discussion about reward teirs.  In the meantime, please enjoy this short I remembered and managed to type out!

(As usual, All names have been changed to protect people’s privacy)

*

So years ago, I worked at a garden center with an older man I'll call Sam,...

The Coffin

The Story of my Uncle Immigrating to America via Unconventional means.

My apologies for the Radio Silence the last few months, this year has been very rough on me mentally and physically.  This is the first story I've been able to finish in an acceptable manner in ages so this one is a freebie to all subscribers regardless of tier.  Some Updates:

-I have managed to choose and arrange all 101 stories for the book.  About 54 are complete and the other 47 in varying st...

Family Lore: Prom

This is the story of how I unintentionally acquired a bible.

Status Update

Well, we're rapidly appraoching a year working on the Family Lore book, and I wanted to thank you all for your patience and support becuase Boy Howdy this was not a great year for my mental or physical health, but it was a hell of a lot better with you.

That said, a great deal of progress has been made!

-a total of 101 stories have been written, which seems like a good odd number to stop at.

-25 of a planned 110 illustrations have been completed

-a publisher and editor...

Discord Server Link!

I've decided that I' just going to make the discord server open to all patrons- if you have to drop a level or unsubscribe altogether I won't boot you- I can't actually figure out how.  Play nice and say Hi!  (I'd love to see everyone's halloween costumes!)

Predator

A Scary story told to me by my babysitter twenty years after the fact.  

California Wolf

Hello!  I'm so, so sorry about the radio silence here and thank you all so much for your patience.  I had to have several small surgeries followed by a bad drug reation, but I am recovering now. I'll see what stories I can finish before the month is out, so stay tuned for more!

Update

Firstly I'd like to thank you all so much for your support.  You mean the world to me.

Secondly, I'd like to apologise for not updating more, and not putting out promised content.  That's on me, and I will do my best to make it right.

The short version of what happened is that in about mid-may, Patreon and my Bank got into some kind of security dispute which resulted in me being locked out of my account until the staff of each institution could investigate.  I don't...

April Benefits Part 1: Washing Machines, Bane of Humanity

My apologies to everyone for the delay in posting, for reasons relating to I'm a dumbass, I thought this week was last week and didn't realize that I had run out of April.  As promised, here's the meddly of Washing Machine related adventures.  William The Baa-stard will follow tomorrow.  Thank you for your patience and support!

Welcome! April Discord Link, Stories announcement and Schedule!

Hello friends, and welcome!

This month's Patreon-exclusive stories are going to be:

Washing Machine: Bane of Man, Woman and Undergrad , to be posted on 4/15

and 

William The Baa-Stard, which will be ILLUSTRATED and posted by 4/25

there will also be a Surprise Discord Stream on 4/21!

I'm working my way through last month's backlog of patreon benefits (pre-orders and Art comissions) and I apologise for the delay, so hope...

April Patreon Stories: Vote now!

I've got three stories drafted for April, so vote now in the comments on which two stories you'd like to see here and the loser goes onto Tumblr.  They're all about the same length and degree of Funny, but bear in mind: the one with the most votes ALSO gets illustrated:

- The Washing Machine: Bane of Man, Woman and Undergrad
- Elder John and Elder Mike Help Out
- William The Baa-stard

Voting Ends on midnight Mach 31st/April1st! (Any teir can vote but only pullet and hig...

Mach Patreon Family Lore Post: A Collection of Cats!

Hooray!  It's the first Illustrated Family Lore, featuring a collection of the weird and womderful cats and alleged cats that the family has had over the years.  This one is a bit long if you want to make a cup of tea first.

March Discord Link

Since I forgot to post it earlier, here's the link to the Discord for all the new March patrons!  Come in, read the rules and introduce yourself to either of the mods to join!

March Patreon Story

First Patreon Story for March!  Please mind the content warnings:  this story is a little Darker than the usual Family Lore.

Next Sotry:  A Colelction of Cats- With Illustrations!

Art Stream (ish) right now!

Hey if you needed a link to the discord or wanted something to do there I'm doing a WIP shots coloring pseudo-stream on the art-streaming channel!  I'm coloring the Meowl

Works in progress!

In case you were wondering what your money was going towards- this is my new much more spine-friendly desk and chair and eye-friendly lamp so I can work without developing terrible migraines!

Also on the desk, you can see 3/10 illustration projects I have due to various patrons, so those are underway! It's terrific to be drawing again, and especially to be doing so without pain.

...

Lore Coming This Week!

I've posted on tumblr and the Discord (https://discord.gg/r32RPv if you haven't joined yet) but I've been dealing with a fairly serious lung infection and carpal tunnel flare-up, so I apologise for getting jack done in January.

However! I'm on the mend and have managed to write again, so sometimes this week after I figure out how to mix illustrations in with a text in a way that doesn't completely screw up the formatting,...

Discord Again! Pledge Reminder! Publishing Process update!

https://discord.gg/HDQ8hz  Here's the discord link for those of you who missed it last time (i'll do my best to remember to post a new link tomorrow, this one expires in 24 hours)  

This is also your reminder to change your pledge level if you need to before the next billing cycle begins!

Also, Publising Update: I've downloaded the Blurb software onto my computer and it looks like there's a relatively eas...

Come Get Your Art and Acknowledgments!

OK, I've sent a message to everyone that's given me a shipping address, so if you haven't replied yet, please do!

If you Ordered an art comission, please tell me what you'd like me to draw ASAP so I can schdule your drawing slot and get the art you paid for to you soon!

If you pre-ordered a book, I'd like to know what name you'd like to be listed under in the dedication/acknowledgements and to make sure I've got the correct number of copies you want so I can budget for the printe...

DIIIIIIIISCORD!! (expires in 24 hours)

Aight, I've gotten through all the book pre-orders and art pledges and my carpal tunnel is giving me hell for it, so I'll be getting to all the other necessary thank yous and other messages tomorrow, hopefully.

In the meantime, come say Hi and make some new friends.

Discord Server & Reward Messages

Alright guys I'm in the process of setting up the discord server, but tbh I only kind of know what I'm doing so it may take a bit to get this functional.

Also, you should start reccieving messages from me today re: your patreon rewards! I'll be asking to confirm number and type of book ordered/what you'd like me to draw for you!  I get your contacts as your payments go through, so if you don't get a message from me today or tomorrow, contact me or your card/paypal to make sure ever...

Last Call for editing pledges!

Ok everyone! I'm super excited for this project (and uh, having enough money to schedule some needed dental work, I cannot thank you enough) but I wanted to give everyone a heads up-

Your card will be billed on midnight of Jan 1, 2019, so if money got unexpectedly tight or if you want to spend some of that Xmas money, tomorrow and Monday are your last chances to edit your pledge level.

So if you all could double check your pledge and to make sure your payment method is all squa...

Attn: Art Comissions

Ok, so apparently Patreon won't let me contact people in specific benefit teirs until 1/1/19 (which, honestly?  Good fraud prevention measure) so if you've comissioned Art, I will be contacting you ASAP in January to consult on what you'd like.  In the meantime please consider the following:

• What you would like me to Draw
• What Kind of Color Pallette/style/other artistic considerations you'd like
• If you're OK with me posting pics of your comission here (and pos...
  2018-12-10 21:06:47 +0000 UTC View Post

January Story Anouncement!

Ok, I decided on the stories that will be published this January, because they both take place mostly in January!

Grandpa Vs Christmas Tree

and

Seven Weddings And An Escaped Bull

Grandpa Vs. Christmas Tree will be published in the first week of January and Weddings will be published around the 15th!  Both will include illustrations and be downloadable as PDFs!  These stroies will be available to everyone in the Pullet Tier or who ha...

WOW! Scheduling Update:

Im extrememley relived that you guys are willing to follow me across platorms and are willing to help me make this a success! 

Right now, between the Tumblr Meltdown and The Holidays going on, things are more than a little crazy so here's how I'm scheduling things:

• If you have Pre-ordered a book I will be contacting you to confirm your shipping address and if there are additional details I need (like which poster you want) starting Tomorrow 12/6/18
• 2018-12-05 20:42:45 +0000 UTC View Post

Hello Everyone!

Thank you all who have come here and decided to support me, and I'm so happy to announce that Pre-Orders for "Family Lore" are now Available!  

In addition, I'm setting up a Regular Art schedule and will be taking traditonal Media comissions!

Edited Stories will be posted on the 1st and 15th of every month, starting January 1st of 2019, and the Discord Server will be up on Dec 15th 2018.