Funatic

Drip-Fed – Fists and Fortune 21 – The Adventurer’s Assembly

Apexus was familiar with many faces he saw that day. Various teachers whom he had encountered when he had done his sweep of all the Classes were in attendance. Adventurers of all ages streamed into the temple, influential members of the community, notable upstarts, and weak administrators all had followed the summon from the Teacher’s Isles oldest member.

The buzzing of voices was constant, filling the room with an excitement that bothered Apexus. This sacred hall was not...

The Gamer Chapter 1332 – Care and Research

“Morning, my tired songbird,” John greeted the birthday bird. Well, her birthday had passed now. After their fun out in the forest, Nightingale had spent a solid thirteen hours asleep, a single bathroom and rehydration trance put aside. Her slumber had been so deep that she had remained passed out even as the majority of the harem woke up that morning around her.

In an attempt to be a good man, John brought breakfast to the bedside. The bedroom in the bus was more compa...

The Gamer Chapter 1331 – Getting dirty in the woods

One could think that it was John’s birthday, Christmas, and Steak and Blowjob day all rolled into one, considering what Nightingale did to him on that couch. In the bathroom too. Not to mention on the stairs, at the side of the bus, by the road, in his camping chair, and when he went to inspect the state of the cement.

The harpy was latched onto his groin. For several hours, her upper and lower lip had more contact with his shaft than with each other. Up and down, up and ...

The Gamer Chapter 1330 – The Birthday Bird

“”Happy Birthday, dear Gale – Happy Birthday to youuuuu.”

Nightingale, her pale skin a shade of bright red, inhaled deeply and blew out the candles on the tightly packed collection of muffins. Everyone inside the bus cheered. Aclysia waited until the applause ebbed away, then she began the work of pulling the candles out of the muffins. The first one, she placed in Nightingale’s talon. The piece of bakeware was firm and appropriately sized for harpy consumption. 2022-11-19 15:20:15 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 1329 – The Country Gal Clarifications

John shook out his wrist.

The impact from the punch still sat deep in the joint. With mundane Strength and Endurance, having a fistfight was so much more intense. Every swing was a clear step towards exhaustion, every grapple could be the last, and falling the wrong way could unluckily lead to a deadly concussion. Simultaneously, the human body was incredibly durable and fragile.

That being said, the Gamer hadn’t gotten hit at all. Even though he had done his best t...

The Gamer Chapter 1328 – The Country Gal Decisions

John waited nervously on his bench. There were ways for him to know whether or not Hailey was currently climbing out of the bathroom window. He could have tracked her with an enchantment on his contact lenses, positioned a double by the back of the building, or used his elemental senses to check for movements in the restroom. Much like Observe, he skipped on these possibilities out of respect for her agency. The Gamer had not gathered his harem through stalking and deceit. To sta...

Drip-Fed – Fists and Fortune 20 – The Flow of the World

Apexus and Maltos passed a ball back and forth between them. It was a steady ritual. The ball was caught with the left hand, passed to the right, then tossed across the gap with increasing ferocity. What could have been a mere game was turned into a dangerous test by the razor blades that covered the surface of the sphere. The sheen of light metallic grey that covered their arms protected them.

Twenty times they tossed it back and forth, before Maltos put it aside. “You h...

The Gamer Chapter 1327 – The Country Gal Fire

Really though, how fortunate could a man be to stumble over a catch like her on a Friday?


“You really love starin’,...

The Gamer Chapter 1326 – The Country Gal Saving

American infrastructure was a blessing and a curse. There were roads everywhere, but why only a fraction of those roads were equipped with walkways was a very interesting question. Even more interesting was why some of them had attached paths that were only for bikes to use.

John was amused. He was frustrated. He was amustrated. Frustused – that one sounded wrong. It wasn’t every day he got to be annoyed with an object as mundane as a traffic light. Inside his head also...

The Gamer Chapter 1325 – The Country Gal Question

“Alrighty, everyone present?” Rave asked and looked around. It took almost three hours to gather every last haremette. They had been spread out not only over the property but also the surrounding landscape. Siena, especially, had made it a point of habit of venturing further out than anyone else. With invisibility, she could travel the mundane faster and easier than the rest of them.

Thankfully, the Harem Comms did not care about range or the number of recipients. Once ...

The Gamer Chapter 1324 – The Slab was Poured

“Why the fuck are you doing that shit?” Eliana asked. The curse words thrown into the question were a mere addition to what was all around a calmly toned sentence. Sometimes John wondered if he should have tried to wash out her potty mouth. He knew he could. She was perfectly capable of not cursing when she was engaged in the submissive mindset.

But telling her not to curse would have diminished a little bit of what made Eliana his pretty little psycho, so he elected no...

The Gamer Chapter 1323 – Digging a Hole

On the second day, John made considerably more progress on his building project. The secondary reason was that he had more time. After waking up and having a nice shower on the bus, he went straight to work. The primary reason was that he had a lot more hands on deck.

Over a talk at breakfast, John and the other human haremettes elected to limit their powers in a similar fashion. The superhuman power of an Abyssal was created by the magic flowing through their bodies, so if...

Drip-Fed – Fists and Fortune 19 – The Baton made the Round

Korith sat next to Aclysia outside the house. Their behinds were nicely seated on the bench that Apexus had carved out of a tree log. Slime acid made for a remarkably good surface smoothening medium.

Said slime was currently engaged in his semi-ritualistic wrestling match with Reysha. Rapidly, the redhead moved around Apexus, who calmly turned to keep facing her. He had two open hands raised in her general direction, ready for any kind of offensive.

Reysha went for a ...

The Gamer Chapter 1322 – Campfire

The girls had settled in during the hours he had spent with Eliana. With Eliana, Aclysia, and Claire, to be more accurate, as the two maids had steadily brought him refreshments while they fixed up the house.

Scarlett had been holed up in the bus most of the time, doing her business work. Momo, similarly, had needed to return to the government for a quick meeting. In administrative time, two hours was quick. Those two mostly did the same as usual. Which was fine, as far as ...

The Gamer Chapter 1321 – Straight into the Work

The building materials dropped off at their place were extensive. There were various raw materials, wood and stone, among other things. More important were the various tools used to work that wood and stone, to mix cement and spread plaster. All of that was stored in the large, semi-decrepit barn. It had survived so far, so perhaps it would survive until John had the time to replace it.

Once everything was dropped off, the Abyssal construction supplier tipped his hat and hi...

The Gamer Chapter 1320 – The Preparations

It was a fantastically mundane week.

John pursued his work with all the vigour he could muster. That was initially quite close to his usual productivity. With each passing day, he felt his motivation drop a little bit. All of these scenes where office workers eventually got stuck in a deep grey world without escape began to make sense to him – which meant the vacation was certainly well timed.

There were a few highlights between the suffocating weight of federal adm...

The Gamer Chapter 1319 – Servants and Properties

John walked through the door of his apartment. Stopping in the hallway, he held it open for the two nude maids to crawl in after him. Obediently, they followed him to the Couch, stopped in front of him, and remained still until he sent the order to suck his cock to their subconscious. The glassy-eyed, willingly controlled submissives did not know why they felt like they were allowed to move, but they did and did so with the sole purpose he had given them.

A pair of tongues ...

The Gamer Chapter 1318 – Hypno Maids

John spawned a leather couch in the centre of the Sex Dungeon, placing both maids on it. The two were still completely relaxed. Two gorgeous, white haired women, all his for the manipulating. A chair appeared at the press of a button and John sat down opposite of them, rubbing his chin.

The possibilities were vast. To remind himself just how vast, he snapped his fingers and said, “Your Master’s hands all over you.” Near immediately, the inertia of the two women was br...

Drip-Fed – Fists and Fortune 18 – Implementation

“REPOSITION!” Vulk roared.

The circle of shield bearers around him and Korith scrambled to move to another part of the wooden arena. They trampled on planks, climbed staircases, and ran on the stone floor of the courtyard most of the Warrior training happened in. Once they had found their new standing spots, they dug their heels in and waited for the inevitable.

Korith was in a state of exertion where her body felt lighter than it truly was. Her lungs were pumping...

The Gamer Chapter 1317 – He be Gaming

It felt like a topsy-turvy world, for him and Sylph to return back to the summoning room and for her to be the one who had to leave. Like him, she had a lot of things to get in order so the vacation could happen without any hurdles.

‘Man, the administration must be annoyed with me at the moment,’ John thought. For the head of the executive and the entirety of the Collide Guild to switch in and out of the protocols about who they had to get signatures for was a chore. It...

The Gamer Chapter 1316 – The Artificial Spirit Patch and the Wind Quest

John stared at the window. Usually, the first thing in the morning he saw was nothing. This was an expected subversion. The implementation date of the patch had been an approximate time scale. For it to occur first thing in the morning was pleasant.


2022-10-31 13:05:43 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 1315 – Fusion Festival Finale – To the Future

John stood on the stage.

Before him was a vast sea of faces. Technically there were torsos and legs too, but he didn’t get much of a view of either. They were densely packed. Either exactly as or even more densely than they had been for his opening speech. Tourists, renters, inhabitants of the Hudson Barrier, business partners, foreign dignitaries, gods, humans, dwarves, gnomes, elves, demons, and whatever else were watching. They watched from the open space in front of t...

The Gamer Chapter 1314 – Fusion Festival 21 – Club Creating

“Should we truly place it here?” Nightingale asked.

“There’s little value to it if we don’t have it somewhere of symbolic relevance,” John responded, while working with the Guild Hall console. “Plus, we have an incredible amount of space. This is as good a use for it as any.”

With the tap of a button, a rectangle of white stone vanished. Behind it was a new room, adjacent to the few corridors that went through the inside of the sizable star fort upon w...

The Gamer Chapter 1313 – Fusion Festival 20 – Getting Shown Around

John barely knew which part of the Hudson Barrier they were in now. He was following Nia with swift steps. The penultimate date of the day, and of the Fusion anniversary, saw him being the participant rather than the planner for once. All he had done was issue a request: for this date, he had wanted Nia to show him what exactly she got up to when she vanished for hours, sometimes days, on end.

Without much rhyme or reason, they were currently jumping over rooftops. The path...

Drip-Fed – Fists and Fortune 17 – Improvisation

“Yo, Korith, you stay!”

The kobold let out a loud ‘eeep’, when she stopped in her tracks. The other Warrior trainees were continuing towards the changing rooms, to get out of their armours and leave behind their test equipment. Robotically, she turned around and faced Vulk.

The goliath towered over her. Bigger even than Apexus by two heads, he forced Korith to tilt her head all the way back to look at his face. His naked torso was muscular and covered in tatto...

The Gamer Chapter 1312 – Fusion Festival 19 – Hunting, Salivation, Ear Scratches

“I used to do this in the early hundredths.” Metra grinned while she and John stalked through the forest. Every tree around them was a girthy, incredibly healthy member of its species. Their roots created a network that was difficult to traverse and their leaves a roof through which the light of the day was filtered.

This was the Velonora, the elf forest in the Hudson Barrier’s east. Originally the area granted to them had been limited to a cemetery and a park next to...

The Gamer Chapter 1311 – Fusion Festival 18 – Crane Game

What was most outstanding about the two-story building in front of them was the sheer number of lights plastered all over its surface. Although shut off at this time of day, the many-coloured bulbs still communicated the intent of the building: there was fun to be had here. Stingy people would beg to differ though.

They were standing in front of an arcade. A sizable one at that, leaning more onto the design of modern Japanese arcades. When they entered, the machines on disp...

Sylph Emotes Done

Look at her, all with upcoming bunny ears and all.

The Gamer Chapter 1310 – Fusion Festival 17 – Lying in the Grass

Despite having a direct, mental connection to her, enjoying the silence with Beatrice was hard. The passive maid was exactly that: passive. Her facial expression barely shifted, her mood was static, her voice monotone, and so the Gamer lacked all of the physical tells that would normally let him know that his date was enjoying herself.

Luckily, he and Beatrice went as far back as him and Scarlett. He had made her a year ago and not only had she manifested a lot of her own p...

The Gamer Chapter 1309 – Fusion Festival 16 – Prophesized Romance

Lorelei had changed the least for their date. Clad in a dress that resembled her usual ashen grey, highly ornamented garb quite closely, she walked alongside him. The only real difference was that this dress was white at the base. Golden, silver, and red, the iconography of the Golden Rose was scattered all over it. Her white-blonde hair, however, had been given considerably more care.

On normal days, the blind seer produced quite the messy braid. That was not an issue to J...