Funatic

The Gamer Chapter 1002 – Finding a calm place

The ferry stopped at one of the piers located in the channel between the main Guild Hall island and the southern Silicate Island. Going to the Harbour was, for purely civilian purposes, an extra mile that the ship could spare itself. John offered to carry Lee again, but she declined.

Her coat was already in his inventory and he soon put his jacket in there as well. There was a definitive increase in squishiness under his palm, with the thick layer of winter wear removed. Jo...

The Gamer Chapter 1001 – Two Talking

Lee had about as much class eating as she had in conversation. That this was a high class restaurant meant nothing to her. After cutting her pizza into eight slices, she then proceeded to stuff them into her face with her hands. The miracle of it was that she managed to do so without getting anything onto herself. When she was done, she wiped her face and fingers off, downed her water and waited for John to finish his steak.

“Sated?” John asked, taking his sweet time cu...

The Gamer Chapter 1000 – A date worthy of the occasion

The planning of things took a couple of hours, then John reached out to Lee via text and finally was in front of her house in the early afternoon. He heard activity within the house, before he even reached for the doorbell. Lee must have seen him through the window and hurried to come out. Patiently, John waited. Even when all movement conspicuously stopped after she had arrived behind the door. After, likely, gathering herself one more time, Lee opened the door.

“Y-yo!�...

The Long Way 8 – In the Ice

They spend another five days in the dungeon. Those were five more days to the three that they already wanted to spend elsewhere. After having his first experience with ice and snow, Apexus absolutely agreed with the decision of every other adventurer on the Leaf to avoid this dungeon. Why would anyone deal with an environment where not wearing clothes was more threatening than two-metre-tall bears that could themselves breathe ice?

In those five days, they only came about o...

The Gamer Chapter 999 – An Artificial Calm

John did not get to work immediately upon getting home. Instead, he went to bed. He fully desired to finish up Lee’s initiation that day and to do so he wanted himself and his girls to be at their absolute best. That started with them getting their rhythms properly sorted. Lydia left at that point, but only after John told her the hour at which he saw today’s date ending.

When he woke up for the second time that day, at the sensible time of 7 AM, the Gamer was exhilarat...

Lydia Emojis!

I love these - A lot.

As always, personal usage is permitted, public usage allowed with credit given and commercial usage forbidden.

The Gamer Chapter 998 – The Surface of Ohmior Finale – Done with the Surface



2021-05-10 09:20:09 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 997 – The Surface of Ohmior 6 – Tagging in and out

‘Aclysia, engage the boss. Metra, go left. Gnome, go right. Salamander, I want you to attack that seal,’ John gave specific mental orders while shouting out loud, “Scatter through the room. Be wary of area attacks.”

His commands were heeded. He stayed near the entrance, now closed by an energy wall, while the rest of the party took positions that worked well with their abilities. The three tanks remained close to the boss, ready to charge at it from different angles...

The Gamer Chapter 996 – The Surface of Ohmior 5 – A seal well-guarded


‘Ehhh… well, I guess the choice is pretty obvious,’ John analysed his choices. The goal of the Perks was still to allow him to teleport through walls. To that end, Detail Pe...

The Gamer Chapter 995 – The Surface of Ohmior 4 – Loot-check

They checked the loot of the Tower Knight the next morning, to start the day on a high note. Because of that same wait, it had been taken out of the usual boss chest and transported to the Loot Basin.

They had gotten a bow, gauntlet, sword and staff in the Common, an axe and a shield in the Uncommon, an AS crystal in the Rare, a Mithril ingot in the Epic and the Tower Knight blueprints in the Legendary category. John was more excited about the blueprints once he held them i...

The Long Way 7 – Expanding Survival Skills

As could be expected, they went through more activities than simple bathing. Along with the clothes, all bets were off and it only took ten minutes for Aclysia to have her darling inside her. Reysha felt challenged and things escalated from there. By the end, they were exhausted, clean and happy, the perfect combination of attributes for a long rest in a relatively safe environment.

“Meeeowwwwrrrr,” Reysha yawned, purred and stretched, all at the same time, her naked bo...

The Gamer Chapter 994 – The Surface of Ohmior 3 – The Tower Knight

“Alright, strategy meeting,” John announced after the tenth attempt. “Also, lunch break, it’s been a couple of hours.” Even if the teleporter diminished the walking time, it did still exist and every attempt had taken its own chunk of their day.

From the centre of the Intermediary Barrier, where they always spawned when Fateweaving claimed them, they walked to their house. Aclysia and Beatrice went to the kitchen, one cooking the food and the other preparing the i...

The Gamer Chapter 993 – The Surface of Ohmior 2 – A traditional design

It took them almost the entire day to clear their way to the first boss. That they were over-levelled for the encounters sped things up considerably, as did the growing familiarity with the encounters. The main enemies, in terms of difficulty, were the packs of Ohmior Knights. Whether they patrolled or guarded certain spots in the city, the animated armours were tough as groups of five. The strategy the group employed had to be slightly altered depending on the exact make-up of t...

The Gamer Chapter 992 – The Surface of Ohmior 1 – Knight Encounter

They carefully approached the pack of Ohmior Knights. When there were only fifty metres more between them, the enemies brandished their weapons. The entire group stopped then. They were tense, waiting for John to go ahead and initiate the fight.

‘Got to get this right,’ John thought. If he placed the AoE wrong, it would make everything a tad more complicated than it had to be. “Three… two… one…” he counted down. “GO!”

The Unstable Arcana spawned at t...

The Gamer Chapter 991 – Pre-Raid Math

“Do you truly think it wise to approach a Raid immediately after you have been diminished in power?” Lydia asked, while they walked towards the light gate.

“De-facto, I haven’t been diminished in destructive power,” John pointed out. “I was given tighter constraints in terms of resource management, but my actual damage output is basically the same. My MP pool is more valuable now than before, given that it doesn’t replenish quickly. Not sure yet if that means ...

The Gamer Chapter 990 – Mechanical Adjustment


‘Man, I could be a level higher…’ John thought, lamenting that even Experience of Love was affected by the ongoing patch. ‘Which should be done any second now, really,’ ...

Chapter 47 – The Dream Life

Anduin was enjoying his personal paradise, lavishing in the Ruby Sanctum. It was one of several places in Dragonblight dedicated to one of the five flights. They had fallen into disrepair a while ago, first due to attacks from the traitorous Black Dragonflight, then by the attacks led by the maddened, previous Blue Dragon Aspect Malygos, then by the Scourge and finally by attacks of the Twilight’s Hammer. With the combined might of Anduin’s harem, cleansing the Ruby Sanctum h...

The Long Way 6 – Strength

Apexus had three good reasons to keep engaging in physical fights.

One was the obvious, he was the sturdiest of the lot. His bones, already respectably solid from their human origin, had been modified. The ribcage was practically melded together, other bones thickened, and all of it evolved to become stronger as the chimera evolved. His slime was easily healed. All his limbs were replaceable. He only had one internal organ that could be damaged by physical trauma. One could...

The Gamer Chapter 989 – Waiting for the date

John and Magoi headed back only after the beer was empty. They had caught a few fish, but always tossed them back into the water without care. Their main reason for staying was to sit there and talk. The two of them had always been friendly with each other. Being in a relationship with his daughter was a different thing than just having good business ties, however.

So, they had talked. About each other in more personal ways than before. About what Magoi demanded of their re...

The Gamer Chapter 988 – Fishing with the potential father-in-law

John only possessed a fishing rod to have something to store in one of the many side-rooms of his Palace. After throwing it into his inventory, he and the girls soon made their way up. Scarlett wasn’t amused about her usage time being cut short, but she accepted it given the situation at large. They all met with Magoi, Mabirl and Lee on top of the Palace’s fort foundation, at the agreed time.

The initial meeting was cordial and cold at the same time. Lee kept her distan...

The Gamer Chapter 987 – Vacation Week Finale – The Invitation

“Dude, just attack Japan already,” Lee berated her gaming companion.

“I won’t attack before my administration cored my lands,” John responded. “This isn’t a world conquest run.”

“Okay, but how are you going to save the world from anime if you don’t culture convert all of it?”

“I won’t.”

“…Really? You’re going to let the world suffer like that?”

“My girlfriend would kill me if I prevented anime from existing.” 2021-04-24 17:28:32 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 986 – Vacation Week Interlewd 2 – Magic Hands

“Lie down,” John told his newest love interest, gesturing at the massage table he had placed in the living room. It was a simple, white, leather-clad thing with three segments and a specific place for the head. Two of those were always stored in one of the closets around since Aclysia and Beatrice offered massages as part of the daily routine.

“…I was actually just asking for some shoulder rubs,” Lee said, looking at both the table and the bottle of oil John place...

The Gamer Chapter 985 – Vacation Week 14 – Dangerous is the overly honest woman

John woke up in the midst of his harem.

His nostrils were a bit offended by what they found. Because they were all so diligent in their personal hygiene, the only smell in the bedroom was usually that of their shampoos or perfumes. That was before the morning orgies set in, admittedly.

This morning it reeked of cold smoke and sweat, creating a mixture that John could tolerate but would rather have banished from his private quarters. Since the penetrative smoke smell c...

The Long Way 5 – Energy Consumption

Aclysia was walking along, Reysha was hungry and Apexus was famished. The metal fairy was largely resistant to the cold and therefore operated like normal. Reysha, because of her desert upbringing, was somewhat used to extreme cold and otherwise functioned as a normal person would. Her hunger was solely thanks to the lack of prey in the snowy landscape. Apexus famishment was sustained for the same reason, but the origin was slightly different. The way he heated his body, greater ...

The Gamer Chapter 984 – Vacation Week 13 – Going Home Guys

The evening was petering out.

Whisky and the passage of time made the three of them drowsy. Magnus, most of all, was incredibly drunk. His usual discipline had been compromised by the earlier talk about his sister and he had been downing whisky like cheap beer since. The result was that John and Maximillian had to help him out of his seat, when they did decide to leave.

“This should be enough,” John said to Hera, placing several Tokens on the counter. The bartende...

Vacation Week 12 – Horny on Main Girls [Lee POV]

Lee was very tipsy.

She had tried her best to stick to the mix beers and, to her credit, she hadn’t actually held anything else besides such low alcohol drinks in her hands. The problem was that there was a literal harem of attractive women doting on her. Offers to take sips from their favourite drinks were plenty and Lee found herself unable to deny all of them. Fewer and fewer, as a matter of fact, the more the evening progressed and the more sips she took.

“Thi...

The Gamer Chapter 982 – Vacation Week 11 – Straight Talk Guys

“My lungs feel as if I am running a road roller through them,” John wheezed, trying his darndest to keep his lungs from being rejected by the rest of his body.

“Stop smoking then, weakling,” Magnus mocked him. His stern tone made it sound harsher than it was likely meant to be. “And don’t draw it into your lungs. That isn’t a cigarette, that’s an 1842 Geralson.”

Over the past two hours of engaged discussion and whisky-sipping, John had ended up order...

The Gamer Chapter 981 – Vacation Week 10 – Happy Harem Girls [Lee POV]

From one moment to the other, the tenseness that had suddenly gripped several of John’s girls vanished again. Lee wasn’t quite sure what had happened. She got a rough idea when Rave asked, “Everything going well with John?”

“Master was approached by an unsavoury character,” Aclysia responded, “it appears to be solved.”

‘Ahhh, the mental connection,’ Lee unravelled the mystery. ‘That explains who tensed up and who didn’t.’

“Alrighty, j...

The Long Way 4 – Fate Tracking

Turlesh was a Deathhound.

It had taken him a long time to rise to this form. Hatching as a lowly Rootcrawler, an Impreh class demon, devouring the smallest Parasystes in the Hellroots and being occasionally summoned by apprentice warlocks. He remembered the first time he had been called to the upper Leaves. How he had, despite his limited mind, immediately understood that they did not deserve what they had. The safety, even in the icy landscape that he had been presented wi...

The Gamer Chapter 980 – Vacation Week 9 – Classy Guys’ Side

John waved away some of the cigar smoke that wafted his way. A fruitless gesture, as the majority of the air in the room was already pregnant with the heavy smell. The ventilation in the ceiling ensured that there always was air to breathe, but it seemed adjusted in such a fashion that some smoke always stuck around. Presumably, they kept it as part of the whisky club’s aesthetic.

Noticing his gesture, Maximillian gave him an amused look. ‘That’s what you should have ...