Funatic

Drip-Fed - Requiem 11

Aclysia would have jumped back if she had the energy left to move in any meaningful ways. “Giz…mo…” she said, her charred lips unable to properly formulate a sentence.

“No, no,” the warlock shook his head, “the false one isn’t here, Aclysia, its only I, Apotho. The one who got locked away by his misplaced regret,” leaning on his stick, the old man slowly pushed himself up into a standing position. “How infinitely interesting that you too would so easily find your way...

The Gamer Chapter 604 – Charming people

John scraped some of the remaining food off the plate and onto his fork. He naturally sat upright, not too straight, so that he would have seemed stern, or slouching in any way, which may have made him appear lazy. No, he was at that perfect level where his suit could show off just how perfectly it was sitting.

Sitting next to him, Rave had already finished her much smaller meal. Her arms were on the table, one hand raised and supporting her head, as she watched him with a ...

The Gamer Chapter 603 – 2B welcomed

John made a disgruntled face as he moved the phone away from his ear. Reason for that motion was the nail-curling sound of bone and cartilage snapping under too much force, along with the gargled scream of someone choking on their own blood. When things became quiet, he put the phone back to his ear. “You could have just said ‘Please call me again later,’ Metra.”

“What’s the matter, John?” the berserker babe’s voice came from the other side, a tapping rhythm in the backg...

The Gamer Chapter 602 – School and go

They had breakfast in the garden. Not because John particularly wanted to leave the house, but because there was no room big enough to hold the formation of tables they had improvised to accommodate everyone. The Gamer had, after everyone had somewhat freshened up, insisted that they all have breakfast together.

Between then and now, he himself had taken a shower, made a deal about the distribution and profit share he would receive from the recordings of last night, had sex with Rave an...

The Gamer Chapter 601 – One thing done, rewards a-plenty

‘This is… actually an acceptable hangover,’ John thought when he awoke on the couch the next morning. He was missing some details here and there of how things had gone, but he remembered the vast majority of it. Which was rather pleasant. ‘I can deal with alcoholic experiences like that.’

His body felt a bit sluggish, like the ‘I don’t want to get out of bed’ laziness one could feel on winter mornings had seeped from his liver into his brain. Just raising hi...

The Gamer Chapter 600 – Small Lake Reforms Finale – A Serving of Maids

John shoved Melthy against the wall, as they wildly made out. With his dominance doubtlessly established over the Small Lake Pact, there was no more need to hold back. Finally, he could fuck all of those maids running around with a clear conscience. Well, those who wanted, anyway.

While he escalated the situation with Melthy, parting her legs, brushing up her inner thighs with his hand and eventually reaching her wet pussy, Aclysia addressed the gathering for him. “Everyone who doesn�...

Drip-Fed - Requiem 10

Aclysia hadn’t been peaceful.

She had been watching.

“Would you like to talk to the Cardinal today?” the servant that visited her every day at noon asked. There was a second one, presenting the same question at midnight. Each time, it came along with a simple, piteous, meal. Dark bread, a little bit of meat, fish, cheese to top it off, and some water.

Aclysia wordlessly began to eat, only as much as she needed to maintain an optimal level of mana. Without Apexus, or an...

The Gamer Chapter 599 – Small Lake Reforms 13 – The results

There were a few things that John’s ‘victory’ that day accomplished. First and foremost, it pacified the area for good. Between the capture of the remaining subversive elements, his pretty hard-fought victory in the tournament (the idea that Rave hadn’t been fighting seriously didn’t even surface) and his humiliation of the Lake Alliance, he got complete acknowledgement by everyone who still had been unhappy with his rule.

It helped that he didn’t punish a whole...

The Gamer Chapter 598 – Small Lake Reforms 12 – The first battle of the war

“I can walk by myseeeeelf,” Rave whined, slowly shaking her legs while John carried her out of the arena. “Ya don’t need to carry me- Ah!” The half panicked noise came when John threw her up a bit in order to reaffirm his grip on her.

“If you walk yourself, how am I going to carry you like the princess you are?” John asked, kissing his pouting girlfriend on the lips. He tasted a bit of blood; she was still hurt and clearly barely conscious. After having collapsed moments a...

A bit of news (15.09.2019)

Been a while since I properly did one of these.

Big topic of today: Commissions. Waifu images are super great. We're also about to run out of Gamer waifus to be drawn. To be completely exact, next month won't even have the vote, due to Beatrice being the last one that needs to be drawn.

Which opens the obvious question: What's next?

If you frequent the Discord servers I hang around in, you know that my first idea to this is to just expand the vote to some other things, side...

Who a King must do Chapter 29 – Power and Longing

SLAP! SLAP! SLAP! Anduin’s cock hammered into Tyrande’s asshole repeatedly. The water of moonwell poured over them, an endless stream from a magical source, out of the bowl that the cock-riding statue of Elune held up. Despite the several-metre-height from which it feel, it felt as light as a feather as it parted on their shaking bodies.

There was a secondary stream, a constant trickle, from the perfect presentation of pussy lips, parted around a stone cock modelled after the High K...

The Gamer Chapter 597 – Small Lake Reforms 11 – Vs Lightbearer

“And there we go, wasn’t that hard, was it?” John asked, having finally gotten Jeremiah to admit his defeat. Namely by nailing him to the floor with Aclysia’s swords. Hadn’t been the easiest task. For a start, they needed to tire him out by having Gnome and Salamander press him down, being the strongest of the lot. Then John still didn’t want to risk Aclysia getting close, so he had to take the Eclys and the salver-dagger off her and use them himself.

At that po...

The Gamer Chapter 596 – Small Lake Reforms 10 – Vs Art Eater

Now, why did John want the tournament to happen at such a breakneck speed that all fighters would exhaust themselves in the process? The simple answer was: because he would not be affected by it.

Gamer’s Body’s many virtues included a much more thorough recovery from fatigue than was reasonable. It protected John from such long term effects as sore muscles, but it also solved most problems of exhaustion after just some resting. Provided he wasn’t suffering from any debuffs in the ...

The Gamer Chapter 595 – Small Lake Reforms 9 – Convoluted schemes in motion

Most of the tournament was pretty boring.

Of course, this was expected. Statistically speaking, chances of John encountering someone who was a proper challenge were very low. Adding the realism aspect, the Small Lake Pact couldn’t produce someone like that out of nowhere, since their strongest guy hadn’t even been that hard to defeat for Aclysia. Indeed, the most difficult enemies around were those sent by the Amacat and the Lake Alliance.

That the Amacat was even participatin...

Undine Chibi Slimes the Competition!

D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Drip-Fed - Requiem 9

“Has she talked yet?” the Cardinal asked, causing Mehily to shake her head wordlessly. All Remezan could do was sigh and scratch his bald head. “This is just one giant disaster,” he mumbled, not for the first time in the week, “The monster-tainted Rogue flees the night we captured her, killing several people on her way out, then the monster we aimed to catch somehow comes back to life a week later, eats another one of the guards, flees for everyone to see and the Hunter able to trac...

Rave Side Story – Fighting and the Girls 3 – Internal Ascendance

“So, was there a case like that?” Rave wondered, her conversation with Lydia having continued for a little while, even after John returned. Roles were now reversed, her boyfriend having first sat down next to her, then nudged ever closer until they ended up in their current position, with the Lightbearer sitting between his straddled legs, John’s arms around her waist.

“There have been several cases like that,” Lydia responded. “People have been attempting to force the meldi...

Rave Side Story – Fighting and the Girls 2 – Distant Problems

‘Ya really don’t need to do that,’ Rave commented telepathically as she watched from her vantage point. Sitting on top of a rock in the earth segment, she followed Copernicus’ movements as he jumped around their opponent. It was a pretty one-sided fight, almost exactly like a cat playing with a mouse.

They were still massively stronger than almost anyone attending the tournament. In fact, the only people Rave knew for sure were a challenge and likely to win against ...

Rave Side Story – Fighting and the Girls 1 – Nearby Problems

Rave ran as fast as her feet could carry her. Which was, admittedly, quite fast. So fast, in fact, that Copernicus had trouble keeping up with her. The suncat wasn’t hooked up to Rave in the same way John’s elementals were. Sure, they had their mental communication, but the equal distribution of power was just another aspect of her boyfriend’s bullshit overpowered abilities.

At the start, Copernicus had been vastly ahead of her. At level 76, he had outclassed her by several multit...

Drip-Fed - Requiem 8

‘And now?’ Apexus wondered once he had filled up on leaves. The new form had one drawback he had discovered, namely that melting his fingers together was practically impossible. That was something he had only done for the ease of walking on four limbs, however, and not even necessary for that. Walking on a clenched fist was, while less comfortable, just as possible.

He walked around, testing and thinking. There seemed to be no improvements or degradation of his movement from this ch...

Who a King must do Chapter 28 – Fate in Twilight

“Anduin… is all of this true?” Velen asked, the shock plain in his purple eyes. The High King had returned to Stormwind ahead a literal army of draenei slaves yesterday and immediately sent for the prophet. As the leader of the draenei on Azeroth, his alter-ego on Draenor having sacrificed himself to cleanse K’ara, the same Naaru who was now linked and enslaved to Anduin, the High King felt it necessary to have him there to help decide on the fate of these people.

“Yes,” And...

The Gamer Chapter 594 – Small Lake Reforms 8 – Predictable and Unpredictable Contestants

“And there he is,” John grinned, tapping against the window, causing Rave to strut close and look over his shoulder.

“John, that’s just the garden.”

“Oh, sorry, am looking through the sphere, in the same direction.” In his satisfaction, he had gestured without thinking. He was looking at an attractive, early twenties guy with dark hair, a stubby beard and a masculine face. Jeremiah Arter, the same guy that had met John to make the declaration of war from...

The Gamer Chapter 593 – Small Lake Reforms 7 – Details

“…That would be the exact order I currently have in mind,” John finished the ranking of the islands, a list that was scribbled down and hung on a well-visible space so he didn’t have to answer that question over and over again. People were interested to see how high in the list their current living space was. Not really to see how well they had to perform, or who they had to attach to, to maintain that position, but to gauge how much higher up they could go.

He look...

Drip-Fed - Requiem 7

The new form turned out to have a new problem. One that only really crystallized as Apexus continued to eat and get back up to his former size and then a bit beyond that. Having devoured a member of the human species had given Apexus a boost in his potential, unsurprisingly. Although that boost was only a difference of a few centimetres. Growth had been slowing for a while. Apexus himself didn’t know if there was some point at which he would top out.

All of that were expected things, ...

Drip-Fed - Requiem 6

‘Aclysia,’ that was Apexus first thought when he broke out of the confines of the city. ‘Where could you be? Reysha, where did they take you?’ Those thoughts were delayed by the immediate need for more food. He was still a good bit away from his former size, quite hungry and could go for more water.

Obviously, he couldn’t land anywhere close to the city. For all he knew, the Hunter was still around. Not that the normal city guard wouldn’t be able to end him, if given the opp...

The Gamer Chapter 592 – Small Lake Reforms 6 – Competition for Development

The unintended consequence of their pretty public lovemaking was that the amount of respect these ruthless people had skyrocketed. They still laughed when John lost his balance and tumbled about the place like a drunk bumblebee, but in general they became nicer towards them after having seen or heard about that. Unintended, but not unexpected, John could easily understand that the people who were all about ruthless competition would like a leader who had the balls to nail his gir...

The Gamer Chapter 591 – Small Lake Reforms 5 – Outdoor with the Girlfriend

Rave didn’t have to fight with either buckle or zipper for long. Not only was she pretty skilled at opening those by now, John’s immediate erection, in response to her dropping to her knees, strained both physical seals. “I wanted to do this all day,” his half-Asian girlfriend confessed when she pulled down his pants and his massive cock fell towards her.

It rested on her face for a few moments, a few more heartbeats pumping it to complete hardness. Already a drop of precum ooze...

The Gamer Chapter 590 – Small Lake Reforms 4 – Running the circle

 John and Rave were just walking along with one of the groups getting shown around. The initial mass had been separated into batches of ten, which were each now being shown around by one of the maids. For this day, there wasn’t anything else to do, so they decided to follow one of the tours, just to look at everything they had built in completion once.

If that made the maid heading this particular tour, a girl with smooth, black hair, pale skin, red lips, and of a short stature t...

The Gamer Chapter 589 - Small Lake Reforms 3 – Infuriation

“It wasn’t worth it,” John suddenly blurted out, causing Rave to look at him like he was taking crazy pills. “The edging, it really wasn’t worth it,” he explained further, yawning a moment later. He had stayed up way too late yesterday, having sex and playing Stardew Valley, sometimes at the same time.

“You’re an odd one, tiger,” Rave said and poked his right cheek with repeated stabs of her index finger. She hit a number of different spots and would have ...

The Gamer Chapter 588 – Small Lake Reforms 2 – Rude ways to say no

John, sitting inside the luxurious living room of his new residence, pulled a certain coin out of his inventory and began flicking it. It turned in the air with the satisfying song of metal. He caught it on the back of his hand, threw it back into the air with a quick motion, had it land on the tugged thumb of the left and flicked it back up. The coin took a temporary resting place on John’s extended index finger.

Someone walked up the stairs. He was listening very intently to the rhy...