Funatic

Drip-Fed - Pieced Together Finale

Apexus was recovering from the shock of his life as he fluttered away as quickly as he could. ‘Hope Aclysia got away,’ he thought, but didn’t dare go against the plan. Mainly not because of the nagging he would have to deal with if he did so, no, but because he wasn’t sure if he would even get away with flying over that village again.

Of course, he had noticed that hunter cowering on the rooftop, how couldn’t he have? With his good night vision and the heightened position of t...

The Gamer Chapter 542 - Sieg & Mund Finale – Hellfire

“Ifrit, is this not what you wanted to see?!” Sigmund asked with a stupendously joyful tone in his voice. “A fight to the death, blood and mayhem? I bring to you what you want, so give to me the means to face this challenge!” At the end of that monologue, an explosion of darkness forced everyone that was currently pinning down Sigmund back.

‘The hell does he mean, Ifrit?!’ John thought, knowing the name from Final Fantasy. It did dawn on the Gamer that he ha...

The Gamer Chapter 541 - Sieg & Mund 17 – No things being equal

“Who are you?!” Abraham shouted out and furrowed his eyebrows. All over, fighting slowly ceased as everyone realized that someone disgustingly powerful had just arrived on the scene, belonging to neither side.

‘How would you not know who he is… no, I shouldn’t assume that everyone has the amount of information Scarlett has,’ John thought and realized how every single puzzle piece fit together at that moment. “Did you kill Imerella, Sigmund?”

“Did you just say Sig...

Chapter 540 - Victory & Mouth 16 – Übersetzung

“And then… and then… I dieeeeed… waaaaahaaaaaaaa,” Sylph was finishing her recount of what had happened before she died. Since John had been preoccupied with Abraham at that point, he actually didn’t know. He was giving her lots of pats on the head since that kept the bawling thunderstorm elemental somewhat calm. As a reward, his hand was zapped every time he came in contact with her hair. Seemed like a crying storm conducted electricity accidentally.

“It’s okay, Sylph, ...

The Gamer Chapter 539 - Victory & Mouth 15 – Bridging

John kept his eyes on Terkal as Undine covered him in her healing goo. It had a healthy green tinge, different from her normal body, and recovered that which Gnome’s first aid couldn’t. It had been fortunate that the soil elemental had been the one to find him, otherwise they would have had to carry the guy to Undine while he was bleeding out, and without the ocean elemental around, John’s engagement with Abraham would have gone even worse.

Following Abraham’s flight, the Gamer ...

The Gamer Chapter 538 - Victory & Mouth 14 – The battle’s centre

John stepped out of the forest and onto a central plaza. The fact that there were no pathways leading up to it meant that this barrier predated the building of the real-life counterpart of it. ‘Does this put the barrier at over a hundred years of age then?’ John wondered. Given that DC was the capital and population centre of the Little Maryland, it wasn’t too surprising that a barrier on a tactical spot this close to the White House had been in place for this long.

Indeed, the fa...

Drip-Fed - Pieced Together 15

Gabrame was nodding off in his chair and waiting. Waiting for several things. For a start, for that perverted little wench of a barmaid to have her shift end. He had absolutely no idea how much money or sperm he had dumped inside that cunt, but he absolutely knew that the number didn’t matter as long as her tits hadn’t started sagging.

As long as her shift wasn’t ending, he was waiting for his next beer. They had a mean dark ale in these parts, pretty bitter and pretty high in per...

April 2019 Commission Completed - Lydia

Edit 17.06.2019: Updates added, makes her lips and buttons better.

HELLO!

I am very happy with this one in general. Bit of news attached to this one, though.

First, quick reminder: You may spread the downsized version in whatever way you like. You may use the original for non-commercial purposes, but not upload it to any hosting website nor spread it in any other ways.

That out of the way: There are still corrections to be done with this one (namely the l...

The Gamer Chapter 537 - Victory & Mouth 13 – The wrathful front [Gnome POV]

“Protect this guy, would you?” Metra requested from the earth spirit and rose from Terkal’s mangled form. It was a miracle that he was even alive; almost every inch of skin was flailed from his body, leaving only raw fat and muscles to the eye, with a whole bunch of blood covering that. Doubtlessly, it was the parts of beasts that had replaced the lanky guys usual body that made him this resilient despite the heavy blood loss.

Gnome had guided them to a place heavily shaken by exp...

The Gamer Chapter 536 - Victory & Mouth 12 – The zapping front [Sylph POV]

“Pew, pew, pew, pew!” Sylph audibly commented as she dodged the spells flying her way. Everyone was so tense up here, looking at her unappreciatingly as she flew by and made funny faces at them. “Relax, big nosey, I am just here to look around, look there and over there and over there and over there and… OH NOES!”

Someone tried to throw an air sickle at her and she did an electric jump to the side. That she found immensely rude. All she was doing here was chatting...

The Gamer Chapter 535 - Victory & Mouth 11 – The passive front [Beatrice POV]

The truth of the matter was that Beatrice had no strong feelings about the current situation. She felt like it was required of her to do so. Someone important had lost her life and that was sad, apparently. Now people were cornered and that was worrying, apparently. They could die and that would be terrible, apparently. Fundamentally, Beatrice got all of that, but she really couldn’t muster any of the same emotional intensity that she felt flare up from her master. Ever since the news of Im...

The Gamer Chapter 534 - Victory & Mouth 10 – The serving front [Aclysia POV]

Aclysia kept up with her cat-eared mistress. Although the white-haired maid was over two dozen levels higher, the different weighing of their Stats turned the Lightbearer into the faster of the two of them. To her side sprinted a small golden cat with copper stripes in his fur, Copernicus having manifested sometime on the way.

“Not like ya to come out on your own, Cappy,” Rave let her elemental know.

“I won’t fight unless you really need me,” the sun cat answered, while ...

The Gamer Chapter 533 – Victory & Mouth 9 – Battle at Roosevelt Island

Daylight was still shining on DC when John entered the barrier. It was a nice day, with a temperature neither too warm nor too cold. A terribly nice day for what had conspired and continued to rip its fangs into anything related. Weather had very little care for the affairs of humans, it seemed.

A singular cloud drifted past the sun and put the world into a thin shadow. John looked at the scenery, realizing quickly why this particular place had been chosen by the generals. ...

Drip-Fed - Pieced Together 14

One week passed before Reysha finally had something to report. “I think it might be the well,” she stated while forcing down her mixture of raw meat and water. With glassy eyes, she chewed every bit as little as necessary and gulped quickly. It felt like a veil of darkness was creeping in from the edge of her vision, right up until Apexus pulled her dulled senses back by speaking up.

“You really don’t look well,” the slime spoke in a concerned fashion.

The sides of Reysh...

The Gamer Chapter 532 – Victory & Mouth 8 – Steamy

John was barely through the check-out when there was an attempt to pull him into a barrier. Doubtlessly people camping the position and now trying to delay him. It wasn’t too hard to figure out which plane from NYC landed next in this airport, after all. Sucked to be them though. Just like the paparazzi barrier he had been asked to enter last time he was here, he was simply too strong to be forced into barriers by even low-tier Fateweavers.

2019-05-07 11:28:53 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 531 – Victory & Mouth 7 – The fuse is lit

“…Forever, the Little Maryland shall resist such foreign cowardice!” Abraham’s voice echoed out of the speakers of John’s office computer.  None but the owner of this space were there to hear it. “John Newman himself could have or had the opportunity to rain down this level of destruction! This is an attack on us and it can only ever be understood as a declaration of war!”

Everything on the table jumped when the mentioned man punched his table in a fit of useless rage...

The Gamer Chapter 530 – Victor & Mouth 6 – Ave…

The rest of his day back, John spent genuinely relaxing. He took a five-minute stroll across the beach, remembered that he was a perverted nerd and went back to his new palace. It was nice finally exploring that building, although he knew the layout already, given that he was the one who made it.

The base floor, in all of its expanse, was easily defined. The square layout was divided into four evenly sized areas, separated by a cross shaped hallway that ran from the large doors to a cen...

Drip-Fed - Pieced Together 13

Reysha kept her head low and her presence lower as she swayed through the village like a drunk. A not too uncommon sight at this time of the day. Theatrically, she put one foot across the other, stumbled (predictably) and fell into a dark alley between two houses. A quick exit from the line of sight belonging to a party of adventurers who were coming her way, now only laughing about the (presumed) woman barely able to catch herself by the frame of a backdoor.

“Maybe we should help?”...

The Gamer Chapter 529 – Victor & Mouth 5 – A moment downtime

John held a little speech over webcam and then took the next flight home, as Imerella had asked. By the time he got off the plane, the video of his assailant had already begun spreading. As was usual with news, the amount of people that knew about it rose exponentially, and once the snowball started rolling, there was no stopping it.

‘Well, at least I get why governments censor now,’ John couldn’t help but think somewhat dark things as he walked through the New York City airport. ...

The Gamer Chapter 528 – Victor & Mouth 4 – Go – Home – Newman!

Unmasking the leader didn’t help John in many ways. A face he didn’t know, an unknown name, Level 56, mercenary, no reason why he and his allies attacked John, but one very vital information. He and all his allies were part of the Little Maryland. Meaning that there was some sort of track they could follow with the name given.

There was every reason to track them as well. Two people had died in the initial barrage of spells. Lives snuffed out at a moment’s notice. Simply because t...

Drip-Fed - Pieced Together 12

Mehily glanced nervously over the table. Certainly, being put in a leading position of this Inquisition, as small is it might be, had bolstered her resolve in the divine, but that didn’t mean she was comfortable with the actual Inquisitor sitting at the table with her. A woman of slender curves wearing an armour that smelled of burning coal, painted metal reinforcing leather that looked like it had been ripped from scorched animals, decorated with the icy blue of Jersoja. A strip of cloth h...

Chapter 527 – Victory & Mouth 3 – Go Home

The result of Imerella’s efforts was a speech by Abraham with somewhat reduced anti-outsider rhetoric. John wasn’t convinced that was really enough, but it was what they got. ‘This whole affair is eroding my respect for the guy,’ the Gamer thought on his way to the airport. The current president of the Little Maryland was a much better peacetime diplomat than he was a unifying figure. ‘He should have stopped at leading the foreign affairs or something.’

Aclysia, with black h...

The Gamer Chapter 526 – Victory & Mouth 2 – The neutral force

‘If only I could get my hands on a SEP,’ John thought. With how things were going, an evolved Siena would be quite useful. However, no luck had been had in that department. It didn’t help that he had no time to grind at all currently. Not even a single gap in his schedule was bigger than ha...

Who a King must do Chapter 20 – Sluts and Vaults

As much as Anduin was curious what this new and obviously improved gnome was capable off, her and her sized-up tits had to wait. This was despite him being immensely horny thanks to one of his guards fucking her slave relentlessly for the past twenty minutes. For complete safety, they also had to test the gas’ effects on humans and elves. No rejuvenating effects or permanent changes by the looks of it, but it raised the libido of people that took it in something fierce.

“I did not e...

Pieced Together 11

This last piece of Aclysia was all that kept the trio interested in this leaf. Reysha had wanted to go somewhere else from the start, Apexus just wanted to be somewhere safe and the metal fairy was to follow him. Well, there was actually a slight difficulty in that plan, one that the white-haired woman was not aware off.

To the best of Aclysia’s knowledge, once they got the last piece, she would return to the realm of her creator. Her purposes on this leaf fulfilled, she would have to...

The Gamer Chapter 525 – Victory & Mouth 1 – Spiral

John Newman had imagined himself in numerous situations when he decided to run for a democratically elected position. Down in the streets, showing people he was just a normal human, for example. Behind a podium, delivering a speech as best he could. Flexing his muscles a bit by using the elementals to help clean the streets or something.

Sitting in a late night talk show and speaking about his first campaign ad wasn’t one of them. Although there was a nice and calm smile on his face, ...

The Gamer Chapter 524 – The Final Election of the Little Maryland

It was the silence that told John that Abraham knew. The complete silence of any word where there had been friendly calls initiated by both sides before. One day, two days, five days, a week, two weeks, the nomination, all the time passed without a single word between them. Like a friend scorned and a friend guilty, they no longer initiated a modicum of their starting niceness.

Although John knew that this whole thing had been fake from the start, a lie told to the other and themselves ...

Pieced Together 10

“You know, this thing tastes pretty good,” Reysha stated as she happily put the monster’s meat into her stomach, confirming the obvious that this was, indeed, some sort of dungeon spawn. “This leaf has existed for thousands of years, yet nobody ever found this place,” she continued on as she ripped some more of the scales off to access more of the meat underneath. “Guess that goes to show that gods are crafty bastards.”

“In absence of reason, discoveries are seldom made,...

The Gamer Chapter 523 – Tier 2 Guild Hall Upgrade

The generals took their leave in a diligent but nevertheless quick fashion. Everything had been said, agreements had been struck. They were in this together now. At least, as far as John’s quest was concerned.

All he had to do now was to wait on the nomination to happen and pray everyone kept their ...

The Gamer Chapter 522 – Events to Nomination Finale – The wanted discussion

Upon seeing their longest serving general again, the three soldiers that had gone up to John relaxed visibly. The Gamer had to commend the valour of these people, even if their assumption had been wrong. Going up to him and demanding answers, when they had been convinced he was murdering them all, was a lot harder than aiming the cannons at the yacht and Harbour gate and fire away. That would have been an even worse awakening. John didn’t have the hull repainted only to have a hole blasted ...