Funatic

WAKMD Chapter 17 – Old God needs new servants

Anduin’s third marriage was a tad different than the previous ones. The differences started with the surroundings. In the months since his marriage to Valeera, almost all buildings in the whole cathedral district had begun to be torn down. Those that still stood unchallenged either had historic value or were used as houses while the massive renovation took place. Many changes were already visible, such as the large church that gave the district its name having two massive, halfway completed...

The Gamer Chapter 503 – Daily Abyss, Nightly Son 1 – Blinds

On the second day of the Washington trip, John walked around in the empty house conveniently across and then just a few houses over from his parents’ place. It was in a bad state, although only compared to the otherwise rich neighbourhood. In detail that meant some missing tiles on the roof, a bit of dirt on the outside walls, a wild lawn and a busted lock on the backdoor. There was nothing really wrong with it aside from the fact it was settling dust.

A sign on the outside told John ...

Pieced Together 1

“Huurgh!” Reysha cried out, as did her back. Although her body, naturally trained and pushed beyond its physical limitations through her feats of adventuring, was strong, her back very much agreed with her tone of voice. A jolt of pain let her know that she had just made a severe mistake, “Ow- ow- ow-!” the tiger girl made a series of pained noises as she moved along, despite the pulled muscle.

“My deepest apologies,” Aclysia flew over to her back and began gathering energy ...

Chapter 502 – Chocolate cake

The side of the fork cut through the fluffy, dark brown foam like a sharp knife through tender meat. In the abrasive surface, caused by the many small pockets of air inside the crème being exposed, the light of the lamps over the table was caught. Underneath that was a layer of white, simple sugary stuff, adding extra sweetness to the lightly bitter note of proper chocolate. Then another layer of brown. At the bottom, a layer of cake dough, rolled into a delicious layer of thinness.

Th...

The Gamer Chapter 501 – The smell of gunpowder

John hid himself awfully inside a pair of jogging pants, a slouching shirt with long sleeves, pair of glasses and a cap. ‘Interesting that glasses don’t count against the cap in the head slot,’ he thought as he walked on, his girlfriend holding onto his arm. Rave herself was disguised as her brunette self with less conspicuous clothes: a dark green, frilly pair of yoga pants under a wide, white t-shirt. ‘Guess Gaia is letting me get away with it because neither of the items are enchan...

Pieced Together - Prologue – Inquisition

The temple of the thirty-three was quiet. It was a peculiar building, north of the city of Heralry, roughly as far distanced from it as the Birshia dungeon was, and sat isolated on the edge of the world. Literally, the semi-circle shaped build partially stretched over the end of the leaf. It was an immensely sturdy building, thousands of stones melted together as a dam against the invisible barrier that surrounded the world, preventing people from just falling off. Other flat worlds weren’t...

Drip-Fed - White Wood Finale

The crown of the massive birch was surrounded by a dense net of branches. Although made out of relatively thin pieces, they were woven so tightly together that walking on them wasn’t much different from walking on normal ground. If one could ignore the fact that they were several hundred metres above the ground.

From up there, Apexus felt like he could look over the entire leaf in its flat entirety. The coral continent, the ocean separating it, the vast forest that filled the middle o...

The Gamer Chapter 500 – A dom’s dreamworld

“Both of you, stand against that wall, ass out,” John commanded, and they followed moments thereafter. “Arms behind your backs,” he detailed further, their spines curving as they had to relay on their chests for stability. While Rave fetched the device, John wrapped the goods.

Blindfolds and mufflers covered their eyes and ears, extra thick in the case of Eliza as her sense of hearing was frankly stupid. John’s favourite gag held their mouths open with a metal ring, just large...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 13

The usual coordination of the group was currently dysfunctional. Between Reysha and Aclysia, the atmosphere could charitably be described as frosty. Now, Apexus actually had no idea what frost felt like, but he was pretty certain that it fit, since it made him shiver whenever the two began another fight. It was like they were trying to eat each other’s arguments by throwing copious amounts of word-acid at each other.

Worse enough, their fights pretty quickly spiralled away from the in...

The Gamer Chapter 499 – Subby Differences

Only Eliza and Rave immediately followed the call to action and John into the aptly called sex room, where Scarlett was already awaiting them. Now the position she chose for that endeavour was one the Gamer approved of immensely. On all fours, cowered down, forehead resting on the back of her fingers, ass up. While just the beginner’s idea of what a sub was supposed to do, it was a crawl in the right direction.

“Hey, Master,” she greeted him in a mixture of nonchalance and erotic ...

The Gamer Chapter 498 – Deep Breaths

“When and why?” John wanted to know, his growl anything but that of friends that met recently.

His mother jumped into there, giving her son a scolding glance, “John Newman, you will behave when addressing my guest.” She gestured for Maximillian to come inside, the gravity king stepping in without any further hesitation. Having recovered from the initial shock, it seemed like he knew very well that the situation was to his advantage today. “So, I hear you two are friends?” 2019-03-21 12:38:15 +0000 UTC View Post

Random Chibi Commissions

I may or may not have had these for a while and may or may not have forgotten to upload them here.

Gnome and Sylph Chibi. I wanted to get one for every elemental, but the artist stopped taking commissions after the second one.

Drip-Fed - White Wood 12

If an Archwood Maggot was left to its own devices for long enough, it eventually transformed into a bigger, slightly more dangerous creature. Stalking on four, extremely thin legs, the Archwood Walker covered its previously revealed segments under thick chitin of a dark green, metallic colour.  The mandibles in front of the face grew more massive, just as the entire body became thicker and the plate previously used to emit the luring sounds elongated into a horn, completely losing its fo...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 11

“Hello! Hello! Help me! Hello! Hello! Help me! Hello! Hello!” an oddly high-pitched, immensely annoying version of the Archwood Maggot’s voice distracted Reysha and stayed her hand. Then a streak of white hair entered her vision.

Stemming her hands into her hips, the metal fairy shook her head in a disapproving manner. The moth-like wings behind her back reduced to a grey blur, as the black pattern melded with the white base from the sheer speed of the flaps. “You ignored my adv...

The Gamer Chapter 497 – And you get a Cuzzi!

“Thank you, Miss Newman,” Eliza said, once she had finished the cake. It had been a thick slice of the dark chocolate cream variety, with a strawberry on top. Although a bit quivering in their execution, the blood mage had kept her table manners for once.

The addressed woman rolled her eyes in amusement. “I insist that you call me Brenda,” she stated, gently wrestling the fork from Eliza’s still tense hand. Forcing herself to relax, the little bundle of character defects let i...

The Gamer Chapter 496 – Of Hearth and Hidden

“Don’t I know you?” John asked, trying to recognize the man in front of him. Entirely non-descript, he looked like the personification of a background character. He was part of a certain company responsible for movement and installation of water-based relaxation wear. The answer didn’t come before the Gamer had put his signature under the document he was presented with.

The dude adjusted his cap a bit and smiled, “Yes,” before turning around leaving John standing there in be...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 10

Despite her somewhat desperate situation, Reysha was having the time of her life. The insides of the tree may as well have been lit by the midday sun, all her senses were awake again. Like the mold around a freshly cast sword, the dullness had broken away and left her sharp and glowing with remaining heat. They felt more accurate than ever before, although that may have been the simple high following the long period of monotony.

The light of her blessed hunters came closer, basking the ...

The Gamer Chapter 495 – A corrupt climate

The final pieces of mist drifted away at the hands of a group of air elementals. “Togeeetheeeeeer!” Sylph, the elected leader on the basis of being both the strongest and the chirpiest, instructed the efforts. “Sha-sha-sha-sha!” then they waved their hands at the mist without using any magic whatsoever. The tiny palms did very little, but it still worked. “Good job, gals and boys! You are the best, like, really, really, the best, like, super, super great!”

“Nah, you are th...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 9

Mehily despised Reysha. This was a simple truth. The Priestess had never liked the tiger girl. From the moment they had been paired together by the Adventurers Guild, the two of them had clashed. What kind of strategy should they use, how they were supposed to have their meetings after dungeon runs, even mundane questions such as which bread was better eventually turned into fights, with one party dickishly laughing and the other grinding her teeth in frustration.

It was partly her own ...

The Gamer Chapter 494 – Washing on Washington shore

John was humming as he stepped out of the shower, staring at his Classes. “What’cha thinking about?” his girlfriend asked, right behind him. Well, she was behind him for the one step outside the slippery wet floor, then she took three dancing struts around him, booping him on the nose in the process. At the end of that movement, she stopped in front of the sink or, rather, the immense construction consisting of a sink, closets and large mirrors. “One second we have a shower quickie, t...

February 2019 Commission Completed - Eliza

Standard disclaimer: You may spread the downsized version in  whatever way you like. You may use the original for non-commercial  purposes, but not upload it to any hosting website nor spread it in any  other ways.  

Infinitely more satisfied with this one than the previous iteration. That is just my personal opinion though and I want to remind you all that these pictures are NOT the 100% "You need to think about this" representations of the characters. Whether you t...

The Gamer Chapter 493 – Merry Breakfast

“This makes the whole affair almost acceptable,” John spoke up after taking his first bite of breakfast. They had gathered up some of the eels and what remained of the fish for Aclysia to prepare overnight. After using the Abyss Auction to buy the information about how to prepare them and whether or not there were any toxins she had to be aware of, the weaponized maid had done her magic while they all were sleeping.

Chewing through a dark bread covered in the eel, John enjoyed the t...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 8

Reysha went up to the entrance of the dungeon on her lonesome. The smell of Apexus stuck somewhat freshly in her nose, a different smell of grey in a world the colour of lead. Being in this downphase was really depressing and she couldn’t wait to finally snap out of it and feel that burning inside her again.

Pulling her hood deeper over her face, she simple walked onwards. The outpost was a building with two halves, a walkable space between them. In the walls left and right of her wer...

WAKMD Chapter 16 – The Pact

“Are you certain of this?” Anduin asked, picking up the empty Blade of the Black Empire. Though still organic in appearance, the eye was staring dully and moving only in accordance to gravity. It wasn’t dead, the flesh pulsating with Shadow infested liquids, but there was no will sealed inside. Now that the High King knew that it was a prison for Xal’atath, an immensely weakened Old God, rather than the entity itself, he looked at the dagger differently.

Nevertheless, Xal’atat...

The Gamer Chapter 492 – Eel fishing

‘This whole thing is hopefully going to net me SOMETHING,’ John thought. They had been stuck for an hour now and he was definitely not feeling that this was a worthwhile way to spend his time. The one they had killed so far had given him a whopping 2500 experience. He needed about three million. It wasn’t even worth it in that sense.

Theoretically, he should have been proud about the fact that he was removing something that could have either spelled the end for a less elite-packed...

The Gamer Chapter 491 – Fog

They got together in the conference room, the place everyone naturally went to once they noticed that something was wrong. Aclysia was currently handing John a damp, heated towel with which he wiped his face off. A few chairs over, Beatrice was handing Eliza her robes. Rave looked very annoyed with the world, as she had been woken up by this commotion. “Who and why?” the techno lover wanted to know.

“Well, I have no idea,” John looked over to Lydia, who shook her head to signal ...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 7

Birshia was, somewhat as the name indicated, a large birch tree. Although large didn’t really do it justice. Giant was close, but something beyond that would have been even better. Perhaps gargantuan. Whatever the word of one’s choosing, they all had to admit that this was one hell of a tree.

A hundred metres wide and growing tall into the sky, Birshia was a tree of the same variety that gifted the people of Heralry housing. The fine difference being that not one to eight people wer...

The Gamer Chapter 490 – Progress and Surprise

2019-03-08 22:42:09 +0000 UTC View Post

Drip-Fed - White Wood 6

The choice of the metal fairy was an odd one. Not only was the Birshia dungeon the geographically closest to the city, it was also under the supervision of the Guild. Dungeons on safe leaves were easy and Birshia was no different in that regard. It was simply the designated tutorial dungeon, meaning that instructors were often found accompanying the groups of beginners inside.

With that in mind, Reysha asked, “So why there specifically?” It wasn’t a question of doubt, they were al...

The Gamer Chapter 489 – And off they went

“…then I would muddle up the system you have set-up over a ten-year interim, by the end of which it would be so easy to corrupt that I can control the whole thing through bribery and extortion,” Scarlett finished up detailing one of her failed plots to John, speaking nonchalantly while reading news on her phone in the flashy technomancer way, dozens of articles flashing by each minute. “Problem with that is that you don’t seem to be interested in prostitutes.”

“It’s very...