Funatic

WAKMD Chapter 15 – Suffer Pestilence

“Remember, men, women, you are not allowed to die,” Anduin told his gathered forces. His talk to the military personal was much more professional than the throwing of insults, inside jokes and innuendos over at the adventurer’s side. A slight bit of jealousy rushed through the High King as he saw Aclysia smile at the apparent leader of their group. It seemed purely platonic, so he shoves that aside and dealt with his own speech again.

“I will not be returning with slutless maste...

The Gamer Chapter 488 – A contract and a confrontation

John’s hand came to a stop on the table dominating his yacht’s conference room, after he put the pen down. Disapprovingly, he looked at his completely artless and scraggly signature. The pompous guy inside him wanted it to look better and that urge was quite strong. Something would need to be done about it in the future. “Okay, so here we have it in print,” he slid the piece of paper over to Magoi. It was a not long formulation about Magoi being the temporally highest authority of Fus...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 5

Apexus heard Reysha before he saw her. The sound of audible sniffing followed by a giggle was all the indication the slime needed to identify the redhead. A few moments later, her hand appeared over the edge of the cave entrance. The rest of her soon followed.

“I could smell slime semen halfway up the climb,” the tiger girl shouted out the reason for her amusement. “And my senses suck right now!”

“We…” Aclysia ashamedly cleared her throat, “were killing time.” Th...

The Gamer Chapter 487 – Training Day Finale – Some relaxing tea

“I love my life so much,” John mused in the shower, receiving a triple blowjob while having his hair shampooed for him. It was understandably stuffed in the shower, not that it was a bad thing to be smothered on all sides by soft female curves. As to who and how, a combination of Sylph flying and Undine curving her body in ways only things without bones could allowed the duo together with Aclysia to access his dick without getting in each other’s way.

“Understandable,” Beatric...

The Gamer Chapter 486 – Training Day 8 – Weather Predictions

Wings like the dried leaves of trees that fell in the months of fall but in the colour of the blue sky, seldomly seen in that dreary season, the butterflies flew around their creator. The middle segment of their body then looked like the stalk, tiny pieces of wood protruding from the otherwise featureless body like tiny legs.

The Gamer really wanted to ask how these things oriented themselves, but they were animated leaves flapping about the place, so the question was not going to get h...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 4

“That’s all?” Reysha asked looking at the fine she had just been given for her fleeing the payments on her debt. After her little brawl she had walked up to the counter and pretty much immediately been told to seek out a higher official in the building. Not the Guild Branch Master himself, her case wasn’t nearly important enough to bother that man, but pretty high up nevertheless.

The reason for her question was the number on the fine, much lower than what she expected. She had ...

The Gamer Chapter 485 – Training Day 7 – Masonry

The final boss of the Slime ID was a wonderful encounter. A nucleus the size of a house, attached to the ocean that surrounded the entire structure, hung under the ceiling of a beast of a room. It was surrounded by a shield that a bunch of the minibosses were keeping up and would periodically spawn enemies.

The way to beat it was to take care of the spawned enemies, take out as many minibosses as they could in the resulting breathing period and finally whack the boss once all of them ha...

The Gamer Chapter 484 – Training Day 6 – Unlocking and Solving

In front of John, the vault door looked less imposing. Sure, it was still a massive silver door, but the difference between how far away his head was to the ground compared to Sylph’s was impossible to ignore. ‘Come on – Secret Room!’ he prayed as he touched that door.

John smashed the ‘Yes�...

The Gamer Chapter 483 – Training Day 5 – Crawling and Unlocking

“I fucking love this place,” John blurted out while they fought. The large chamber they were inside had a central pillar of glass, turning the cylindrical shape into a doughnut with corners. Inside the resulting cut-out swam a large, black nucleus with a smooth surface, a tiny white dot swirling around like an eye.

John wasn’t even being sarcastic, he really liked this dungeon. The enemies spawned in a clearly telegraphed fashion. They all had two attacks, a basic tentacle lash an...

WAKMD - Chapter 14 – Travelling to rotten ground

No time was lost afterwards. As Aclysia had correctly guessed, Anduin began preparations to move out himself. An Old God was no challenge to be left to anyone but the strongest beings in Azeroth and he easily qualified as such a being, being the only person in the known creation to wield both Shadow and Light and both at a level of strength at historic levels. Despite this, he forbade his wives and slaves from coming with him.

Due to the pace at which all of this set-up, the only one ar...

The Gamer Chapter 482 – Training Day 4 – Cuddle and Crawl

“Stop eating them you fucktard…” Eliza presented her complaint in the usual bloomy language, but her tone was one of misery. “Pleeeeeasssse?” She swatted towards his hand. Her immense powers suppressed, as to not stir the monster inside her unnecessarily, the movement was dull and John easily dodged.

A simply step to the side and he took a cookie out of a plastic box he was holding and an overemphasized bite out of said cookie. The light-coloured bakeware, spotted with dark br...

The Gamer Chapter 481 – Training Day 3 – Playtimes

2019-02-25 09:30:33 +0000 UTC View Post

Drip-Fed - White Wood 3

Reysha walked through the streets. Unlike a certain slime, she found them to be almost empty. Ctania was a small world and the narrow roads reflected that, every person there had more than enough space to walk. It was very much unlike her homeleaf Ragressa, which was large and heavily populated due to her people’s tendency to fuck at any given moment.

The lack of space had been one of many reasons she had left that world to find her luck elsewhere. If she had found it was up to debate...

The Gamer Chapter 480 – Training Day 2 – On with the grind

Beatrice dodged nimbly underneath the swipe of the paw. A second one soon came for her, oversized claws digging into the floor as she dodged with a backflip that had her skirt flutter in a most daring way. Left leg connecting to the ground long before the right one, her arm and the spear it was holding were dragged along the movement. The straightening of her posture doubled as a wide arcing, vertical strike that sliced open the belly of one of the many beasts surrounding her.

They were...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 2

The city of white wood, Haralry, laid on the western fringe of the leaf Ctania. The absolute fringe in this case. Behind a city fashioned from winding birches rose a funnel of lights diagonally into the sky. Woven from hundreds, if not thousands, of small strings, the display of solid energy combined into a single path.

This was the stem of the leaf, the place where people could enter or exit this world. Apexus spied, on the blueish white roads in the sky, tiny dots moving about like an...

The Gamer Chapter 479 – Training Day 1 – 1:10 Time Dilation Barrier

The rest of their Friday was spent in tranquillity. John felt like he had done an adequate amount of stuff, and Magoi answered positively to a text request for getting into a barrier with him the next day. As such, John took a little nap to be rested at midnight, when he would go to the I.D. Gate. To get the full ten days out of that single day, he’d best do it like that.

Not that Magoi was so stingy that they couldn’t just start at six in the morning and stop twenty-four hours late...

Chapter 478 – Stuffing the queen

“Why this position?” John asked, laying on the couch. The leather was unsurprisingly quite wet, but he was used to things getting steamy. “I really want to bend you over and spank your ass, you know?”

“Yes, I am aware that your penis jumps with excitement at the sight of buttocks,” Lydia retorted straddling over his hips. “Exactly why we are taking this position.” Her curved back was turned towards him, her braid perfectly resting in the depression of her spine. Both han...

Drip-Fed - White Wood 1

Apexus didn’t stop on his own volition. The legs he had grown were burning with exhaustion, but his mind was terrorized. Whatever abilities Apotho had displayed there, this life draining, it was a frightening display and as such the slime continued to run until it suddenly hit an uneven ditch of a Forester Dragon.

Tired hooves sinking into the upheaved soil, getting stuck in some remaining roots, Apexus was sent flying downwards as the fragile ankle broke. A few metres away, Reysha la...

January 2019 Commission Finished - Siena

My dick is... I mean, I am very happy with this one.

Standard disclaimer: You may spread the downsized version in whatever way you like. You may use the original for non-commercial purposes, but not upload it to any hosting website nor spread it in any other ways.

I also attached one where I used a dark-filter to change the look a bit, just cause I wanted to.

The Gamer Chapter 477 – Spreading the slime

John could already hear what was going on inside when he stepped into the hallway. Well known moaning echoed through the straight space, connecting living room, bridge and the outside. A bit of an odd construction that, he always found, but the yacht was very much designed with its owner operating as the captain, so it worked.

Not that it mattered, the only thing John really cared about was the question whether or not the space was large enough to allow all his harem members to sleep in...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf Finale

The way back was, aside from Reysha’s ongoing condition, uneventful. Learning to work with her new sense of taste, the tiger girl soon managed to find things she could eat without feeling absolutely disgusted. Typically, that came in the shape of things that normally bordered on tasteless.

As such, she could drink water without a problem, so the most essential thing was already covered. For the solid food, she went for things like potatoes, bread or very long boiled and very watery so...

The Gamer Chapter 476 – The Hudson Barrier Finale - Upgrades a-plenty

“Those are all very bad and or boring,” John mumbled, simply going ahead and picking Weapon Specialization followed by picking spears, since that was Beatrice’s expressed choice of equipment.

Beatrice blinked slowly at the unfamiliar sensation of sudden knowledge about how to improve ...

Safe Leaf 14

A fireplace was crackling with heat, the dry wood that had been lit with magic slowly transforming into ash. It was a simple construction, a thin stone slab laid across two stunted boulders, a gap for a fireplace in between. The blackened sides on the otherwise reddish grey stones indicated that this wasn’t the first time they had been used for this.

The fact that it was located right next to one of the few sources of wood, not to mention the way it looked, made it an easy assumption ...

The Gamer Chapter 475 – The Hudson Barrier 3 – Further announcements

John let the moment settle in for his listeners. Of course, he wasn’t just dropping this change on the residence of this new type three city, vague warnings had been given in advance. Not that there was any real damage that could be caused by this rather sudden expansion in living space.

“Over the next few weeks, we will start building projects and get our internal affairs in order,” John told the camera. “If there are people out there that want to live under the rule of law, bo...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 13

Reysha stashed all of her unused equipment inside the adventurer’s bag. It was odd to see a large spear simply disappear into a piece of velvet the size of a grapefruit, but Apexus got used to such shenanigans rather quickly. Once exposed to magic, the question of ‘how does that work?’ got rather old very quickly. Those who didn’t share that opinion and kept asking usually became mages.

All Apexus knew was that they had to step into the waterrise to get the chunk of Aclysia-meta...

The Gamer Chapter 474 - The Hudson Barrier 2 – Type Three

John had found a nice position to be frozen in place in. Legs scissoring with Eliza’s, he was standing above her, using the one that was reaching up in front of him as handle. The blood mage was underneath him, upper body curved against the surface of the table. It was an awkward way to have sex; thrusting felt more like he was repeatedly dunking his dick into the honeypot. Nevertheless, it worked and he could even properly step on her face in the process.

Which was exactly what he di...

Chapter 473 - The Hudson Barrier 1 – Prelude

John was sitting in a leathery armchair in his living room. His back leaned comfortably against the rest, his butt was firmly on the cushion, his feet were laid up and rested on a casually self-degrading Eliza’s naked back. The blood mage was grinning madly and clothed only in her leathery garments, as per usual, having seen him come and prostrated herself casually. Apparently, she was slowly getting into a thing called ‘casual BDSM’. It was something John greatly appreciated as well, s...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 12

“Brbrreeaaahhhhrrrrrrr,” Reysha made a series of indiscernible noises as she shook her body head to toe, a small number of droplets flying off her. It was a pretty futile gesture, as she lacked both the loose skin and fur of a normal mammal for it to achieve the desired drying effect. Young and smooth as her skin was, the only thing that somewhat flapped around were her breasts.

She did it anyway, out of the remaining cat instincts that her race had, on behalf of their dirty minded ...

The Gamer Chapter 472 - Publicity

“Okay, how about this: martial law can be enacted either by the head of state, being me, or, in case the head of state is absent for a prolonged period, can be voted into effect by a majority in Congress. That good enough?” John asked.

“Don’t forget to give yourself the power to lift martial law as well,” Richard warned. “Trust me, there will be all kinds of political pencil pushers who would love to get there. I have been both on the receiving and abusing end of such clause...

Chapter 471 - Upsizing

“I like this place,” Richard spoke, walking around the conference room. He soon shed the corporate suit and changed into his original shape, that of a grey-furred humanoid with a rat’s skull for a head, decorated with the four name-giving horns. The only, and very sensible, change the god of future calamities made to himself was his size. At two metres he was still quite the giant, but he fit under the ceiling.

After passing by Magoi and Magnus, the former calmly reading his newsp...