Funatic

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 11

“Are we ready?” Aclysia asked the group. In response, Apexus checked all of its Growths one more time. Legs? Worked, all eight of them. Fangs? Wiggling and sharp. Nose? Perfectly acute. Ears? Picking up everything they needed to. Pheromone ducts? Deactivated to not give away its position in the fight. Wings? Sized up to use to fly short distances or as shields. Eyes? Staring ahead and blinking well. It would have killed for some arms, but this was what it could work with.

“Let’s...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 10

Their dungeon crawling continued for a long, long time. Easily several times as long as Apexus had been in there already, making it anywhere between one and three weeks. “Scout, I want one, now,” Reysha complained on one occasion.

They were weak fighters, at best giving mediocre ranged support, but they had an arrangement of skills that made them incredibly important for every party that wanted to explore. One of which was to tell the time without any need of outside influence. With...

Who a King must do - Chapter 13 – A dark blade

In the darkest depths of the dungeons, down countless elevators and through a cave that still bore the mark of demonic spiders, lay the second most secured gate within the Watcher’s hold. Only the entrance was more tightly knit in terms of spells and just like the one above it was a circular gate with the mural of an owl carved into its wood. This was where the corpse of Illidan had been kept not too long ago and where they had stored the only weapon that had survived the sacrifice of its p...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 9

Note: I have been thinking about whether or not I want to capitalize ‘classes’ like Priest, Rogue, Monk, etc for a while now. If the fact that I just did it wasn’t a give away, I will try to be consistently capitalizing them in the future. Will have some odd cases, like a priest who isn’t an adventurer, that I will try to avoid, but just so you know. Capitalized job names from here on out = Adventurer class.  

A second bath later, as both of the girls ...

Season 3 Arc 2 - Author’s Note

This arc’s finale did not pan out like initially intended. Halfway through the arc I hit the problem that the characters of Scarlett and John that I made got along too well…

See, the original idea was that Scarlett would put up a façade war which John was supposed to take seriously, then she would get herself captured by Bearings and John would bust her out at the last minute by attacking the facility.

As you have read, that isn’t greatly different from what happened. It wo...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 8

“This is not what I had in mind,” Aclysia stated as they entered a circular chamber. It was filled with steam, not awfully hot but rather nicely warm, originating from a large pool of water that filled all but the outer rim of the room. It was only half a metre deep at the outside and went no deeper than a full one at the centre, where a steady stream of water bubbled up and caused the pool to overflow into metal grates in the floor, where it vanished somewhere underground. “I am, howev...

The Gamer Chapter 470 - Epilogue – His queenly lover couldn’t possibly land this soon

“Master,” Aclysia’s urgent voice reached him together with a gentle nudge on his shoulder. “Master, you need to wake up!”

“But why though?” John wanted to know, his voice still drunk on sleep. He rolled around, a minor mistake as he was subjected to the unpleasant feeling of his bedsheets, sticking to his dick thanks to dried up sexual fluids, suddenly ripping off his semi-erect member. It wasn’t as bad as a bandage, but that still didn’t make it pleasant.

As for...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 7

The Spirit Fox had an interesting taste to it. It had that basic meat saltiness, blood and bones adding special notes as they dissolved. While the fur of this creature, like all others, was mildly disgusting, it was definitely worth getting through. Especially for the magic that dwelled within the meat.

Apexus had noted this while gorging on the lesser beasts of the dungeon, but magic infused life was delicious. It added a rich sweetness to the food the kind of which the sl...

The Gamer Chapter 469 - Victory Rush

“Get on the bed,” Scarlett demanded the moment they set foot into his bedroom, “now.” The drugs still hadn’t kicked in, but the Technomancer did not seem to care to wait for that.

“Yes, ma’am,” John followed. While he wasn’t sure if it was advisable to take drugs and wait for them to kick in during sex, it was Scarlett who had insisted that she knew what she was doing. Also, he had seen what those mushrooms did to a person’s libido. “Going to play the dominant part...

The Gamer Chapter 468 - The conquest of New York

John looked at the map of New York. The city was his, as was New Jersey. Every other minor power in the province was broken, meaning that John now only had to consolidate his power to take Collide to the rank of a regional power. From there, he could play with the big boys. Diplomatically, that was.

They had not managed to find Jackal. After finding the teleporter, it had already been smashed on the other side. With no clue where to search and the USA being everything but small, it was ...

Who a King must do Chapter 12 - to a hidden place

It had now been three months since that fateful day on which Tyrande made her suggestion. In her wildest dreams, the High Priestess would not have imagined that her kinky wish would lead her to where she was today. Riding the humongous cock of Anduin Llane Wrynn, the greatest stud she ever cheated on her husband with.

Sometimes she woke up in her bed fully aware what a whore she was. Despite his sexual shortcomings, she had loved Malfurion. Then she started touching herself at the memor...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 6

Reysha had been through an awful couple of weeks. First, she was thrown out of her adventuring group for pissing off the priest, and the healer veto was the strongest one. Then, she was late on rent, as going into the dungeons alone didn’t allow her to tackle the harder, better paying challenges. Next she knew, she was unable to pay back the beginner’s loan for equipment the guild had given her and now she needed some serious money. When she failed to provide that, she was thrown out of h...

The Gamer Chapter 467 - A grim reminder

Metra held onto the shaft of Qiada, swinging her lower body around in an attempt to kick the nightmarish millipede. The guided hand of Zimmothy’s body caught her armoured foot. The spikes covering the shin guard ravaged the skin of the corpse, but of course the puppet master didn’t care for its short-term home’s well-being.

“Of all beings – Yes, I will tell her and all of them gathered. - you should be the most respectful to us, Metra,” Izha mockingly stated as it closed the...

The Gamer Chapter 466 - Engineered Chaos

‘Master Izha,’ those were the words that caused John to take this whole thing infinitely more seriously. Words that Jackal had muttered just as a side note, Scarlett didn’t know the meaning off, but he had only been too aware of through Siena’s ears. Words that caused, a most likely justified, change in procedure. “You stay outside, I just got info that Bearings decided to put his final lot in with the Lorylim,” John told the parts of his military he had brought out to Central Par...

Drip-Fed - Safe-Leaf 5

Shortly after the sun did rise, Aclysia finally ceased in her song, urging their journey to continue. As little as Apexus wanted to, it had to admit that it was out of excuses to prolong the existence of their moment. Bathing in the warmth of the sunlight, it soon felt liveliness return into its mass and at that point sitting on a rock all day was also fleeting in interest from its mind.

There was a whole different thing that caught its attention though. A translucent blob, crawling out...

The Gamer Chapter 465 - Trapping Finale – The last witness [Scarlett POV]

The haze was simultaneously exactly and way worse than what Scarlett had expected. It covered her senses in fog; everything seemed and felt like a layer of cotton was wrapped around her. The words of Bearings dully reverberated in her ears, the only sound that she was still supposed to hear. “That this is how you would fall into my hands after all,” he sounded tired. Good. That was how he was supposed to sound. “You were not nearly as smart as you thought you were.”

He looked he...

The Gamer Chapter 464 - Trapping 2 – Last stand of Thorne

“Ya know,” Rave greeted him in front of the entrance, “it’s kinda ironic that, after all we did the last few months, we are now just gonna waltz in there after all.”

“I didn’t even think of it that way,” John admitted and looked over the assembled forces. Aside from him and his girls, there were twenty other people around that were clad in different robes and sets of armour that had a uniform blue and black design to them. In the absence of any emblem, John had picked th...

The Gamer Chapter 463 - Trapping 1 – Smoking out

John checked his clock. 11:58, only 2 more minutes before the attack would start. He was once again on Magoi’s boat, just east of Thorne’s main barrier. With him were only his elementals and the High Fateweaver. Everyone else he had sent out to create a siege ring around the barrier. One with inherent structural weaknesses that made it very easy to break through at a certain point.

The plan for the transition from Phase 3 to 4 was simple. Collide, or whatever the greater collective ...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 4

Apexus was sitting in the grass in front of the house. Its wings had been grown back to a size where their green feathers could carry the slime’s whole weight into the sky. Its proverbial belly was filled to a satisfying degree, not that it would have a problem scavenging for food. Being able to eat and digest just about everything was a great trait to have, the slime realized after having observed Gizmo’s limited diet.

“I wish you a safe journey,” the old man said,...

The Gamer Chapter 462 - Scarlet Sexting

Scarlett: I am horny.

That message came rather unexpected. John was lying on his bed, taking a break after training that was an entire failure. Save for Siena skulking around in the shadows, he was alone.

John: Okay?

Scarlett: Don’t ‘okay’ me, dude.

Scarlett: I want to have phone sex. You and me, fingerbanging while exchanging nudes.

Scarlett: That clear?

That was abo...

The Gamer Chapter 461 - Martial Arts

The quest he had gotten randomly was pretty straightforward.

He wasn’t quite sure how he was supposed to learn a punch and kick technique, he had the inkling that just getting a Skillbook wouldn’t work this time around, but if he just listened to his instructor, he was sure he would get it.

...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 3

“My creator wishes for you to gather the rest of my body,” Aclysia stated after a moment of thinking. “Now that I have been awoken, the fountains of divine metals all over Ctania have opened. Though I know not their location in detail, I can roughly locate them.”

“A gathering quest, pretty tame for a divine one,” Gizmo commented. In the meanwhile, Apexus grabbed some paper and wrote a single word on it in the usual scraggly fashion.

‘Reward?’ It was a simple questi...

The Gamer Chapter 460 - A royal announcement

An annoyed piano medley hit John’s ears over the phone. It was disharmonious, perfectly representing the mood of the person on the other end of the line. “You are aware that causing your lover, who sits and governs on the other side of the globe, worry because reports indicate that you are getting effortlessly crushed by a coalition of anarcho-capitalists and then not answering the phone for that whole duration is not the fine way to treat a lady, particularly a noble one?”

“I a...

The Gamer Chapter 459 - A little break between dishonest battles

“I know you guys don’t understand what I am saying,” John opened up to the monster currently trying to put out the fire covering it by rolling around, “but I really missed you guys.” The enemy was then put out of its misery by Aclysia stabbing through the little gap between the eight eyes, set on the front of the carapace.

It was refreshing to kill something that actually just existed for the purpose of giving him a way to level-up, rather than people with friends and families...

Siena Commission is a go

As you can see, monori is hard at work as always. It seems the image he sent me was slightly corrupted, as you can see around the neck area there is some sort of break. Below you can see the list of change requests I made.

 

 - She has normal figners here when she should have claws
- Eyes should be cat-like
- I would like the heart-shaped cut-out under her breasts to be just a normal part of her "clothes"

- The unruly strand over her left shoulder go. The ...

Magoi Side Story Chapter 3 – Just your friendly neighbourhood dinosaur

Magoi Magus rose from his bed and held his head with a groan. Looking over to his still sleeping wife, the wildness of how yesterday had ended stuck in her hair, he firmly decided that they had at least one glass too much. Carefully, he got out of the satin bed sheets and wobbled his way to the bathroom.

He really liked his new apartment, specifically the jacuzzi John had insisted on installing. At the time, he hadn’t been all that convinced, but Magoi was soon forced to admit that it...

Who a King must do Chapter 11 – The Greatest King!

With Anduin’s fingers hooked into the tight space between her collar and throat, a breathless Maiev was dragged through the middle of the hallway like an unruly dog. No resistance to her fate was left in her mind, only a downtrodden acceptance on the surface and a sea of perversion underneath. Thus, it wasn’t a sense of shame that caused her to become so slow that the High King felt the need to pull her along.

No, although she had been able to more easily come along on the soft carp...

Fateweaver Stuff Chapter 2 – Attempts with the capital A

“DIE!” a man screamed, jumping at the married couple, only to disappear into thin air a moment later.

“You know, honey,” Mabirl sighed, “these things are tiresome. No matter how often we get through them.”

“Quite,” Magoi agreed as they stepped out of the barrier and right into the next one.

They were trying to reach the restaurant they had booked for today. Having to juggle Scarlett’s and John’s war and the resulting short-term confinement to t...

Magoi Side Story - Fateweaver Stuff Chapter 1 – A family Raptor

“Father, do you truly feel I should be the one in charge for this?” Magnus asked. ‘This’ being the returning of the four ferries Bearings had so brazenly stolen.

Personally, Magoi had a lot of grumbling to do. To see Fateweavers disrespected like that a mere few months after the dissolution was absolutely disgraceful. If the monolithic structure of the original guild had still been standing, they would have made a public announcement that working with Bearings was now unsanction...

Drip-Fed - Safe Leaf 2

“You are a very peculiar creature,” Gizmo mumbled, somewhat impressed, as he watched Apexus work on a number of problems it had presented it with in text form. Many of them were simple mathematical questions. It solved the basic ones at a moments notice, not even stopping to think for an answer no matter the numbers involved.

Normally, that would have indicated at least some natural skill with math, but the second the slime hit something more complex it slowed down to a crawl. Then,...