Funatic

The Gamer Chapter 389 - Feast, bleed and what

John returned to their apartment on his own, something Rave immediately picked up on as she pushed her athletic body over the edge of the pool and onto the white deck. “Where did ya leave Aclysia?”

John just placed the food he had brought with him on the table and started unpacking. Aluminium foil was pulled out of the plastic bag and then unwrapped in turn. “Eat that,” he said and gestured at the bread, stuffed with meat, greens and sauce.

“The fuck is that,” Eliza came runn...

The Gamer Chapter 388 - Just imagine exploding heads

The grand summary of the things John learned from Metra while they stepped through the mall was as followed: Lorylim were of unknown nature, but their origins could be traced back to the sinking of the mythological continent of Lemuria. They appeared mostly as a corrupting force that infested beings that travelled between planes by stretching outside their own; only sometimes did they manifest as monsters of their own shape. There were five general stages to their attempts at corruption, being s...

Metra Commission Completed

There we go, buffer than I personally like but that's kinda the point. Outfit doesn't match what she is currently wearing in the story, but it will in the next arc. I don't think that qualifies as a spoiler. 

As my patrons, you are allowed to use the picture in any non-commercial  way you see fit and upload the downscaled version wherever you want.  Picture was made by MonoriRogue .

Putting the next commission poll later today.

The Gamer Chapter 387 - The bridge

The bridge of the ship was a triangular shaped room with flattened tips, technically making it a hexagon. The broad side looked ahead, to overview the sea and the decks below. John noted that his area was visible as well, but not to any great detail. Around them beeped unattended terminals with naval data and internal system checks scrolling over their large touchscreens.

The reason for the lack of attention given to steering the vehicle was rather obvious to John and everyone else when they s...

The Gamer Chapter 386 - Lazing around

“What is it with ya and jacuzzis anyway?” Rave asked while lying on a sunchair, Copernicus in her lap and the back angled as far down as possible.

“The jacuzzi is the ultimate culmination of relaxation designs,” John explained, arms around Aclysia and Metra with Eliza between his legs giving him a casual underwater blowjob. This was a repeated occurrence recently, and he would not complain about it anytime soon. “Not only does the bubbling of the water gently massage the muscles, but...

The Gamer Chapter 385 - Warmed up and ready to be lazy

Magic was a bit weird, and it was all thanks to humans being its origin, as they were even weirder. That was what John learned from asking, “So why do you fight by just pressing people to the ground?”

“What do you suggest I do instead?” Maximillian asked, stirring his drink with his straw so it stayed properly mixed.

“Reverse the course of gravity on them, have them fall upwards until they either hit outer space or you can let them fall to their death?” John suggested.

...

The Gamer Chapter 384 - Too much space

They waited for each other to answer, causing the Gamer and the vacationing king to share an awkward silence. Not that it was actually all that quiet. All the people that previously spent their time waving the city goodbye were now lingering about, waiting for the heat to kick up to levels that justified using the pool.

“I am highly unsatisfied with you being up there.” “HAH! Look at you being beneath me.” Both of them finally spoke out at the same time. Stirwin squeaked in amusement, ...

The Gamer Chapter 383 - Goodbye Europe

“I don’t know what about this place I love the most,” John announced as they snooped around their temporary home. The two, half-moon shaped buildings had two stories each and a roof/balcony on top. Each was easily large enough to fit a whole party but equipped to only house about a dozen people with utter comfort.

“There is so much fucking SPACE,” Eliza said as she went from room to room, “I would say literally too much.”

The layout was pretty simple. There was only one doo...

Sex Scene Poll Continuation 1

John carried Eliza over to the pool and jumped inside with her pressed against his body vertically, dick pressing against her ass. The redicilously warm water doesn't help either of them with their frankly heated state of mind.

How does John plan to use the extremely masochist sub?

[Reminder that she can actually create oxygen enriched blood inside herself, no Eliza will be harmed -in a way she doesn't like- during the making of this chapter]

The Gamer Chapter 382 - To a giant boat

The Rising Tide sat quietly in the water. Even from afar the cruise ship looked gargantuan, the highest points barely below the roof of the even more oversized building it came out of. While looking over the elegant curves of the ship and wondering what this sort of thing would cost him to own, John had to wonder what would make someone have a government that had a shipyard inside their main office. Then again, the governments of the Abyss varied wildly in nature, and the NTC was, mostly, a trad...

The Gamer Chapter 381 - Sinking stone

“Ahhhh, yes,” John exclaimed as he relaxed in the bubbling water of the warmed up jacuzzi. That wasn’t the only reason he was this ecstatic about the bath though, rather the two girls that were inside there with him caused him to be that fervently in favour of his current situation.

The door opened behind him, and in stepped a third one; he turned his head to see his girlfriend. “Back already?” he asked and then let out a moan that made it pretty clear that he was currently receiving...

The Gamer Chapter 380 - Waffles

“What smells like sugar and more sugar and fuck me that is a lot of sugar?!” Eliza wanted to know, her nose raised and sniffing. Following whatever it was she was smelling, her steps carried her by one of the many, many cheese stores that were around, and everyone went after her. It didn’t take too long for John to also smell what she was talking about and just a few more seconds for them to reach the store.

They had waffles and other sweet pastries stacked up like shoe stores had boxes....

The Gamer Chapter 379 - Sex museums and cosplay talks

“Well, this is thoroughly disappointing,” John said out loud as they walked through the sex museum. It was all static, boring, and even the room that warned that it had photos of heavy SM kinky stuff must have been working by Christian standards because John looked at those things and just shrugged it off as someone that had already done or was going to do them.

Granted, he had done a lot of things, but when someone warned that it was about to get dirty and then the worst he saw was a girl...

The Gamer Chapter 378 - On the streets of Amsterdam

“What did we even do all that for if you are going out instead of down with me?” Rave asked as she put on her leggings. The question how she managed to move freely in pants that were so tight that she visibly struggled to get them over her supermodel legs and, the way greater hindrance, spectacular butt was answered by magical cloth, but one John still didn’t exactly was able to wrap his brain around.

It was like some glorious genius had combined yoga-pants and leggings. Praise be upon h...

The Gamer Chapter 377 - So?

“What the fuck are we even going to be talking about?” Eliza wanted to know. “Obviously we are taking the boat, you cocksuckers. Planes suck and it’s not like we are in any hurry.”

“I agree to that,” Metra said. “Flying was nice, now I want to experience what this oversized ship is up to. I did not know the Europeans made them out of metal and this gigantic by now.”

“You are all thinking this is going to be way better than it is just because it is a big boat. Do I hav...

The Gamer Chapter 376 - Air or Sea, what will it be?

“I am so glad that you could make it!” said the elector of the Netherlands, Amalia, as she jumped out of her seat behind her desk, her big breasts jiggling in a way that immediately drew attention to the fact that she wasn’t wearing a bra. She took leaping steps around the table and…

John raised his hand. “Okay, that enthusiasm is so obviously fake I won’t fall for it,” he announced and looked at the way she was dressed today, which was a usual suit with a tight, but not overly s...

The Gamer Chapter 375 - Always with the questions

“Huh, this is pretty impressive,” John said out loud as he stood in front of the local government building. It wasn’t exactly the design that stood out; sure, it looked good, but it was yet another palace-like building of huge proportions. Build in the style of the baroque era, it had a circular main building with two arms stretching outwards and then angling sharpy inwards to form a rectangular shaped court.

The impressive part was that this court wasn’t a wide garden or anything even...

The Gamer Chapter 374 - Second Best Breakfast Ever

“I am bringing my own girls, thank you,” John said as he paid the fee and then pointed at Aclysia, Metra, Salamander and lastly Sylph. Those four, when asked, had said they would do the stand in for what John wanted to do.

The waiter at the entrance looked over those four and then nodded, “A fine selection, if I may say so. Do you want a public or private room?”

“Private,” he said, causing Metra to cross her arms and roll her eyes as she went along with someone who guided the...

The Gamer Chapter 373 - Just a piece of meat.

John entered their room, and he was very much surprised about how good it looked. Like, exactly how he left it. Even the sheets of the bed were clean. John watched over the remaining crowd. Copernicus was still sleeping in his basket, Stirwin was still soaking in the bathtub, where he was together with Gnome according to John’s mental connection.

The three people still around where Siena, Undine and an orange aroma radiating Aclysia. All three of them were naked and watched with interest as ...

Sex Scene Poll Part 2

Okay, so Lydia has been called, by accident, on the laptop. She has 15 minutes to spend on the whole endavour and wants to watch because she is horny. Of course she is horny because there is the naked guy she is in love with on the screen, but that's another thing entirely.

So she wants to watch, but what attitude does she take towards watching/what will John do to please the now seldomly encountered lover?

(Added brackets to make it clear what the theme with each choice would be) 2018-09-08 17:06:53 +0000 UTC View Post

The Gamer Chapter 372 - She is going on a trip

John eventually returned to his drink, a glass of now cola flavoured water thanks to the ice cubes melting. “Are you the Gamer?!” a slurred voice said^, and of course there was another angry drunk guy who had bet money on Lydia losing. No, judging by the pupils the size of plates peeking out of his ridiculously long, dark blonde pony, this one wasn’t drunk but drugged. While being drunk was, of course, also a state of being drugged, John lacked a specific word for whatever this one was on....

The Gamer Chapter 371 - Flickering

Everything was made from dancing colours. They danced over the walls and ground, as the floor’s slime covering caused luminescence across the whole colour spectrum on its flat, slightly bouncy surface, perfect to dance on. Flying disco balls scattered dots of light everywhere, occasionally blinding John when he made the mistake of looking up to the high ceiling.

The writhing lights were two-layered; the underlying structure was ordered to the sounds of the extremely loud music. Each hit of b...

The Gamer Chapter 370 - So much in the way

They arrived at the quickie rooms. What they saw was a row of doors, some of which showed a couple of words translated into multiple languages saying ‘currently being cleaned’. John guessed that there was some slime in there doing the world a favour and scrubbing off whatever sexual juices stuck to the walls. Otherwise this whole thing would have been rather sticky, slippery and disgusting, actually.

Rave just opened a stall, and all three went inside. That turned out to be a bit of a cram...

Commission August 2018 Finished

And there she is, all done. 

As my patrons, you are allowed to use the picture in any non-commercial way you see fit and upload the downscaled version wherever you want. Picture was made by MonoriRogue (I should mention that more often, guy does good stuff).

Do I love this one, not quite as much as the Aclysia or Momo ones, but not far behind. Anyway, thanks to having...quite a bit of capital to spend now, the next commission begins with the poll concluding TOMORROW. Current poll r...

The Gamer Chapter 369 - Bantering doesn’t care about the place

The ride down in the elevator started nice and quiet. It was pretty big and came with none of the mechanical noises elevators usually did, as it hovered between magically pulling plates rather than being on a winding mechanism. However, once they passed the base floor and began their descend into the underground, the bass finally arrived.

They had passed an invisible barrier, and now the elevator trembled under the repeated, electronic drum-kicks and heavy beats. The rest of whatever song was ...

The Gamer Chapter 368 - Neon Lights

John looked at the sign with disbelief. “Isn’t that the username you always use?” he wanted know. “And if ‘Ja’, coincidence or not?”

“Ja and not a coincidence,” Rave said and looked at the line in front of the entrance. Aside from the giant sign spelling out the name in neon letters, the building looked rather boring, just a brick building with black tinted windows. Judging by the people vanishing down some stairs, John deduced that the actual club was underground. “I alway...

The Gamer Chapter 367 - Patching interruption.

“Just so we're clear: I am not getting drunk tonight,” John announced as he looked at the city map. It was a bit annoying that it wasn’t quite the same as actual Amsterdam, thus creating the need to buy one from the Abyss Auction.

Also, why did these things have to appear at times like these?

“...

The Gamer Chapter 366 - An afternoon in Amsterdam

Under the confounded gaze of everyone, Nia slowly munched on the marshmallow. The white body of sugar dissolved as she moved it deeper into her mouth without using her hands. Basically, Nia took three eternities eating a damn marshmallow, but she did so with that cutely tilted head that John just couldn’t help himself and stare in fascination.

“In the name of a pussy-eating slime-gargling-man-whore,” this stream of Eliza’s verbal abuse of the spoken language hurt John personally this t...

The Gamer Chapter 365 - Going separate ways

“Are you strong though?” Metra asked as she circled around the newly recruited members of the Knights of Teuton. The order had been reduced to just four members by the end of the Roman-Blood war and was thus heavily recruiting right now.

“We will give it our all!” the man in the anonymising armour said. There were about 6 of the templar looking people around. The plates they were in looked immensely shinier than the ones John was used to; they were also very much not invisible.

A...

The Gamer Chapter 364 - After intense negotiations.

“Fuck no, I am comfortable,” Metra declared in an angry tone; “You can get bent later; I am riding this master right here until he dies or I get tired!”

“Metra, calm down, we can continue this afterwards,” John said and got the dirty blonde to rear her head. 

“Tsk,” she clicked her tongue as their contract compelled her to obey the request. She could have struggled for quite a while, but she noticed from where the wind was blowing. “Fine! Momo, Aclysia, you, me, ne...