Funatic

[Thana Side Story] 5 Minutes to Midnight – Data

“Meet me on the first day of the pause at the hospital in room 243. I know something about Eliza.”

Alexej’s words, whispered to her when she had been helplessly pressed into the coarse sand of the arena, were burned into her memory.

Why? Why did he have to know something about that damned name? Why him of all people? How did he even know? Questions raced through Thana’s mind as she headed up to the counter. The fact that she was able to get away without anyone checking in where s...

The Gamer Chapter 292 - Scurry, you rodent!

“Are you being for real?” John asked. “You do that and I give you the information I have,” Richard answered. “…What would you gain from that?” the Gamer was immediately suspicious; whenever the Horned Rat gave him something for free there was some hidden baggage attached to it.

“I gain nothing, but I don’t lose anything either,” Richard shrugged; “My plan advances whether you get this information or not.” John opened his mouth to complain some more about the Rat’s con...

The Gamer Chapter 291 - Nia Nya Nyeh

 To find Nia, John first had to lay out the bait. In the name of getting the best bait, he therefore had to waste another 3 hours of his life doing an Assault. His personal EXP-gain aside, it was still the best way to fill up the potion.

“God, I love this skill,” John said as he unleashed a hail of Shardbound onto a cluster of Warhogs that tried to climb his tower. Two dozen sharp energy constructs rained down on the orcs, many of them only doing mild damage or missing. The few that d...

Commission for April 2018 - Aclysia

And here she is. 

As per usual: You are allowed to spread the downscaled version however you want and use the high-rez version for non-profit stuff.

The Gamer Chapter 290 - Lyly Lydia

“So, can you see that?” John asked Lydia, who was not in his group for the moment. He was pointing at a symbol at the ground, lines of softly glowing light purple that formed three different sized rings that interlocked, forming a triangular shape with a rune in the middle.

“Without any obstructions,” Lydia confirmed and then, as they discussed, stepped on it. The resulting explosion engulfed everyone, a wave of blue and pink energy that passed over John and his familiars harmlessly bu...

The Gamer Chapter 289 - Upgrades and unwanted Patches

It was the evening of Friday, around 23 o’clock, and John had just finished a day long grinding session and was j...

The Gamer Chapter 288 - Hella Wise

“Finally, I just hope my assumption is correct…” John said and, after weeks of grinding, dropped the last needed points into Wisdom, pushing it to 250.

‘First off: nice, actual numbers, and second off: geezu...

Chapter 287 - Well, the following day was Thursday.

“And he surrendered,” Jeff said in a defeated tone; “Yes, as expected this fight was over in a flash. Alexej just gave up, how boring.” John actually didn’t agree with the commentator there; Thana and the blonde Slav had exchanged a few words before the surrender came in. Which was slightly suspicious.

“What did you talk about?” Lydia asked therefore once Thana arrived back on the platform. “He is a fucking dick, and I will rip out his weaselly little tongue and replace it with...

Chapter 286 - The Road to 100 is paved with greenskins.

Out of his whole group, John was the one that needed the least amount of training (aside from Thana), but that didn’t mean that he needed none. Reaching level 100 was needed for several reasons.

The most important reasons where that he would get access to another class level, which he would most likely put into Elementalist again, and that he would fulfil a quest that would give him two SEP. Both Arcane Explosion and Mana Ray could use an upgrade, John found. The former because it started to...

Chapter 285 - Blank, Blood and Steel

John was keeping his head very low as everyone sat in the living room. The sound of cooking from the kitchen was one of the few sounds that echoed through the tension thicked air. However, even those were kept to a minimum, Aclysia doing her best not to give any of the three angry women sitting around the living room any reason to increase their animosity towards the world.

Only Nathalia, boringly masturbating on a chair while looking through a Playgirl, had no intent to keep silent and moaned...

Chapter 284 - Vs Maximillian, Mario and Alexej [Lydia POV]

“That’s pretty close to your choices there, Dra,” the obnoxious announcer screamed into his microphone. His ceaseless attempts to turn this already entertainment infested, highly unnecessary tradition into a hyped show were inexcusable to Lydia. The crowd was petering out in their applauses, stomping on the floor in a rhythmic fashion. Attempts, as the princess realized, was the wrong word here.

“They made the small but fairly important choice to only include one physical fighter, prob...

Chapter 283 - Eternally in charge

“Hello, folks, and welcome back to another rousing round of the tournament!” Jeff shouted into his microphone; “Today we are going for another game. It’s Mi-” “No! We are not,” Dra hastily interrupted his fellow commentator.

“By the correctness of the dictionary, did you forget to read the memo again?” the lizardman asked and pointed at the talking cards they were always holding. Dra actually looked at these notes on cardboard, but as John had seen numerous times, Jeff might ...

Chapter 282 - Baelementium

‘Woah, over 800’000 experience points for the next level?’ John thought as he looked at his status after the last Assault concluded. Truthfully, he could have easily churned out another level by going in there for another three hours. It was getting late, however, so he decided not to.

Anywa...

Chapter 281 - Not without trace...

John yawned as he watched over the edge of his fortress. Settings restored to normal, he was currently doing his usual grind. Everything was the same as ever, except that he had to do even less now. With Undine guarding the walls with her iron water bubbles, John literally could sit back and grind by letting his familiars do all the work.

“Is this literally all you are in need of doing to level up nowadays?” Lydia asked, hurling a dispensable piece of metal at a Bugpanther below. It pierce...

Chapter 280 - Catgirl Sex

John was barely out of his shoes when Rave pushed him further into the house. “Go, go!” she urged him, her battle suit retracting back into its bases in her shoes already, which she threw off a moment later. She was stark naked, in the middle of the hallway, and now dragging him towards the living room.

They passed Nia where the hallways crossed, she turned her head after them as she was chewing on dried meat. Nothing else came of that, she simply stood there as they moved on.

“Tha...

Chapter 279 - Move like a tiger.

“Stop wasting all your power from the start!” Copernicus yelled at his lightbearer from the side-line as Rave was currently busy going one on one with the first and only boss of the Steampunk Tier 18 arena.

It was a towering goliath, about three metres tall and shaped like a spider-centaur. A golem of bronze and silver, with four arms and eight legs. Its appendages didn’t end in feet or hands, but instead in incredibly sharp needles. When it scurried over the floor like an overgrown spid...

Chapter 278 - Parental Advisory

The inner workings of the building made John question why he even bothered making sure nobody followed them. A good 50 people were active in and around the base floor, making calls, sitting at computers, holding stacks of paper, losing half of them as they ran from point A to point B.

It was an almost comedic display of bureaucracy at its worst. Didn’t help that basically everyone seemed to work against each other; people tripping happened at least thrice while John passed. “S...

Chapter 277 - Will you listen?

 John’s first reaction to his girlfriend arriving back at the top of the platform was to awkwardly step in front of her with his arms open. Her eyes were hidden behind her bangs, a mess that looked even more dishevelled than usual. There was no other indication needed than her slumped down ears, her cat form persisting as she was still incredibly bad at turning it off.

She took a weak step off the platform, and two quick ones followed, then she pressed her head against his chest, and he...

Chapter 276 - Vs Nariko Hollmey [Rave POV]

‘Finally,’ Rave thought as the biome roulette came to a standstill, three pictures of an island in the middle of a sea. As the arena started transforming, the funky Lightbearer looked at Nariko, her mother. The two of them looked alike, even though the influx of European heritage made Rave different enough that they weren’t carbon copies with an age difference. They were, however, clearly mother and daughter.

Nariko’s dark blue hair was just as dishevelled as Rave’s, but the abyssal ...

Chapter 275 - Bonding over Bondage

They went to John’s and Rave’s room where he immediately went over to the bed and pulled something out from under it. It was a flat chest, about half a metre high and two wide, of simple wood. An accurate description of it would also have been an oversized, wooden briefcase. He put his hand on the lock, which reacted to his mana signature and opened itself with a click. He pulled up the lid.

The chest was bigger on the inside, seemingly continuing into the floor and beyond. It was a bit of...

Chapter 274 - The preparations of Jane Hollmey

Chapter 274

The preparations of Jane Hollmey

Rave did a backflip to gain distance from Nathalia. A big mistake, as John noted to himself. Being in the air against an opponent several times faster than you was just asking for trouble. Dodging was hard enough when you could actually do it.

Therefore, Nathalia slammed her leg into Rave’s side, and catapulting her a fair dozen metres away was pretty much expected. John sighed, he had grown worryingly apathetic to seeing ...

Chapter 273 - The Fluff Strikes Back Finale – In the Clear

Lydia Augusta the Fourth of House Hohenzollern, Princess of Steel and Princess-Regent of the greater Brandenburg state, Protector of Prussia, Sworn-Lady of the Knights of Teuton, Granddaughter of Frederik the Great and many other titles that only nobles with way too much time could come up with, was not happy with John.

He couldn’t exactly blame her. She had been back for about 20 minutes, and the only words she had spoken thus far had been “black tea” and “John, to my room”. The cho...

Retconning Outsiders

So, for those of you not having read it on CHYOA, Outsiders have been replaced by the word Lorylim for creative freedom reasons.

Sadly, the editting process on Patreon is a bitch for everything that is older than 5 days (It needs to load everything up in steps of 5 posts), so I won't go back to edit all of the Patreon archive. I did, however, fix it on CHYOA and plan to change it whenever I do the PDF's.

So, just to let you know, Outsiders are now called something else (Lorylim)
2018-04-08 07:42:49 +0000 UTC View Post

Chapter 272 The Fluff Strikes Back 4 – Admitting

Momo, at a decent speed, rammed right into his side as he was busy creating a shield several metres away from him. The two of them rolled over the ground, a bundle of limbs and confusion, for a few moments before coming to a halt at the edge of the training grounds.

The support shook her head, sitting up. Panicked, she made sure that her most precious thing was still intact. That wasn’t John, of course, but the book she was reading right now. “Sorry, thought I was higher,” Momo apologize...

Chapter 271 - The Fluff Strikes Back 3 – Ebb and Flow

“So, for a start, how does your unleashing work?” John wanted to know and as an answer received the information straight into his brain. Undine may have vowed to communicate more, but it seemed that she was closing in on her communication threshold for the day.

As a fellow introvert, he understood. Although recent weeks may have given a random onlooker the idea that John was quite talkative, if they actually looked a bit closer, they would have found that he spent most of his time with his...

Chapter 270 - The Fluff Strikes Back 2 – Content Drought

“So, I have decided to not grind today, what happened this morning was enough action for a day,” John informed his gathered elementals, Aclysia still under his arm. The artificial guardian wasn’t just snuggled up to him, she was hugging him with the intent loving that only a weaponized housemaid could provide.

This was about an hour (and a threesome with Aclysia and Gnome) later. Lydia and Undine had returned, the former quickly on her way again to issue a formal apology to the owner of ...

Chapter 269 - The Fluff Strikes Back 1 – No matter what may come

“So, this is the best we could do, huh?” John monologued as he looked at the garden. In the daylight, the true extent of the damage became visible. About a quarter of the island lay in ruin. The majority of the damage affected the garden, large parts of which was now a mostly dried field of upturned dirt. The destroyed plants had been up-rooted and piled elsewhere to be removed later today.

The rest of the damage affected the numerous grass areas, which had turned into even more swamps. Th...

Chapter 268 - Reintegration

“Stop squirming!” Lydia demanded as she closed in on Undine. The newly shaped water elemental was currently busy reflexively avoiding a multitude of flying blades with a slightly panicked face. Lydia, the controller of said blades, was standing there with a rather large container. John just watched the whole scene unfold, with his arms crossed.

“You messed up, so now you get cut,” Salamander shouted at her sister. “…Yes, I know,” Undine mumbled and forced herself to stand still. ...

Chapter 267 - Undine’s Salvation

The formerly pristine garden was a field of mud, splintered plants and broken pavement. Without any care, John swathed through the swampy ground, his pompous shoes sinking deep into the ground. His socks were drenched after two steps, splatters of dirty water sprinkled over his suit trousers.

None of that mattered, what mattered was Undine. Before John even got there, the water spirit had become something new again. This time, however, it was not cause for concern. Undine had become a blob, a ...

Chapter 266 - Silent waters run deep.

In the darkness of the night, it was hard to make out details about Undine’s bloated form. She was shapeless, that much was clear, just a thrashing mass of water and slime. There was neither sense nor direction to her attacks. Just a blind unleashing of powers new and foreign.

The cracking of wood was only drowned out by her terrible song. Notes played on the rim of broken glass echoed through the night like a disharmony of sirens, awakening a terrible desire to just step into wha...