Funatic

Chapter 265 - Catastrophe descends

A hand, or something like it, hammered from burning metal but not existent at all. It was reaching for his innermost, had already succeeded in ripping something from him. He was in pain, so much pain. It was one he knew, that was the pain of one of his elementals trying to rip mana from him against his will.

But it was much, much worse. It crippled his thoughts, thoroughly, all he could do was listen as he fought against the torment. “John?” Rave noticed his pain, his clenched teeth, chest...

Chapter 264 - Santa Claus is going to town

About an hour later, John was holed up on top of his fortress again. Once again he had gone for the three hour version. He had found an interesting tidbit about these dungeons though, being that they were always, no matter what he wanted to do, geared for his current level. Probably something Gaia did to prevent him from overly exploiting the system. If she didn’t, he could just relax in something like 20 levels under his for 10 hours and get insane sums of experience for pretty much fr...

Chapter 263 - And merry Christmas

“Let’s give out the rest then,” John said after Thana had calmed down again. The blood mage had dissolved the illusion again, feeling more comfortable in her own skin, but kept on the scarf. Increased regeneration luckily included getting rid of reddened eyes rather quickly, so soon nothing of the emotional breakdown remained.

Aside from the fact that Thana and Rave sat next to each other without any second thoughts. John took upon him the job of handing out the gifts. He grabbed a rando...

Thana Picture finished!

Standard Disclaimer, you dont get to reupload the full-rez version anywhere, you can use the low-rez version however you want from next Tuesday onward, have fun.

Next vote in April

Chapter 262 - Happy Birthday

“What is that?” John wanted to know, his mouth watering. The table was decked with so much food that it would almost bend under the weight. However, it actually was showing a slightly worrying curvation thanks to the giant thing that was in the middle of it all.

If John had to warrant a guess, the perfectly cooked meat, with its fried skin, crispy and covered in a multitude of spices, was probably some sort of dinosaur. “It’s a turkheir,” Nathalia answered; “I told you I would get ...

Chapter 261 - He who braids.

Thana caught the teddy just as it reached the reach of her arm and slammed it into the wall. “The fuck is this thing?” she asked. “Good question,” John said and used Observe.

“Quick, high fortitude, but otherwise it seems harmless,” the Gamer finally said. “Rude!” Kyonchi complained; “I am ...

Chapter 260 - A life of impiety

It was Christmas day, and John was level 91. It was warm and cosy underneath the blanket when he awoke, largely thanks to his girlfriend being snuggled up to him. No feet in his face, no one else in his bed, just his girlfriend, resting her pink-haired head on his shoulder in a way that neither caused her most curly strands to tickle him somewhere nor made his arm numb.

If that wasn’t a Christmas miracle, John didn’t know what was. A window popped up, a Christmas greeting from Gaia. He rea...

Chapter 259 - Imagine a twelve.

John was speechless. Not because of the number, well, partially of the number. He had been able to make t...

Chapter 258 - Behold Fortress Ocelot Alpha!

John stood atop the gate of his mighty forest, which sat at the heart of a sea of fire. The fortress was a hastily cobbled together structure. Fortress was actually a bit of a stretch, it was more of a ring formed from a tall, thick wall on which the group could stand. The gate in the front was guarded by Aclysia, with Momo and Sylph acting as air support.

Around this ring was a trench filled with lava. This trench was the lesser of two reasons why the forest of the Feral I.D. was currently on...

Chapter 257 - Peculiar

Nathalia sniffed at Nia with a thoughtful expression. “I dislike blanks,” she said, “smell like nothing,” then licking from the blonde’s shoulders to her chin she added, “taste like nothing.” Nia let that whole torture pass without moving, even as the dragoness circled her.

John glanced over to Thana, he half expected her to let loose another mean comment, but the blood mage kept sitting on her hands and being quiet. After having completed looking her up and down, Nathalia took h...

Chapter 256 - The start of a break

John watched the colour-killing wave expand with fascination. “So that is anti-magic?” John wondered as he followed the last few seconds of the short-lived fight. Her dagger simply cut through Maximillian, like John’s Mana Blade when it was infused with the water element. It was highly doubtful that her weapon worked similarly on a base level, but the end result was the same. The damage to his soul made the king collapse, and the fight was over.

“That wasn’t THAT fucking impressive,�...

Chapter 255 - Vs Maximillian Franz von Habsburg [Nia POV]

Nia stepped off the platform with the delicacy of a young noblewoman that was attending her first ball. The dense magic in the air, layers upon layers of different illusion barriers stacked on top of each other in a manner that wasn’t meant to last for too long. Without proper maintenance, this whole system would collapse like a card house in the decaying winds of time.

A deep breath, the magic entered her body and vanished. The air that left her was devoid of all power. She hadn’t consume...

A bit of News (13.03.2018)

HELLO!

So thats the current (read third) version of the Thana picture. As you can see its not finished, but currently the only major problems is that she is a bit too pale...just a tad tho. Artist is on that.

Anyway, I wanted to talk about Wednesday chapters, since those have returned recently. The logic behind that was that my buffer exceeded 5 (basically a weeks worth of content) so I went ahead and published another one.

Just so you know, they won't be one tomorrow. I am...

Chapter 254 - Pariah [Nia Fae POV]

If Nihilism was correct and the world had no meaning, then Nia Fae seriously wondered why the girl currently holding her hand was even making the effort. The streets they were hasting through were well-kept and of wondrous design. Above them islands floated, tethered to a giant obelisk with chains of mana.

Nia wouldn’t be allowed anywhere near those chains. Not because she would destroy them, just because she could. People usually didn’t trust her. The ones that could see her that was. Whi...

Chapter 253 - A wobbly plea

They were back at the mansion, and John had made sure that they were in private. It was just him and Undine in Rave’s and his room. The elementals made sure that nobody else was listening. When John had come back with a pretty pissed expression, that had raised a lot of eyebrows. Under the promise that he would explain in a bit, no one had stopped him though.

On a scale from 1 to 10, where 1 was not at all and 10 the anger he had felt when he found out that Thana was torturing Rave, he was c...

Chapter 252 - How to Grind

There were two ways to grind sensibly, in John’s opinion. One could either find trivial content, that was repeatable extremely quickly and that gave a moderate amount of experience and gear, or beat content of high difficulty, that rewarded the effort greatly, and just concentrate on getting that done without dying. The former was easier, but the latter was the usually intended experience by game developers and was, thusly, heavily encouraged or downright mandatory to get some of the better st...

Chapter 251 - Huh?

Well, he would have to check what the hell that was later. For the moment, however, there was a bigger question on his mind. “You are not even trying to fight me?!” John shouted out. He knew there was this whole thing about gift horses, but really, this was just too weird.

“Nah,” Alexej wa...

Chapter 250 - You are probably wondering how we got here

“I have been wondering,” Lydia said, looking at Thana, as each of them went to their usual position on the platform; “Why are we not all drinking your blood?” “The fuck did you just say?!” Thana growled and narrowed her eyes dangerously.

The princess raised her hand in a calming gesture, “I have merely been entertaining the thought, so please don’t feel attacked.” “I do, the suggestion has some...” Thana’s mouth opened and closed a few times. as she searched for the rig...

Chapter 249 - A fiery union

Whether the other girls were collectively not in the mood or saw that John wanted to enjoy some time with just one girl for once, he didn’t know. Fact was, he and Salamander fell into the bed in John’s room.

Her lips, a shade deeper than the rest of her red body, curved into a wild smile. Eyes of black coal looked at him as they both laid on their sides. “Are you going to fuck me, or are you just going to lay there and stare into my eyes?” Salamander asked. “What was that?” John as...

Chapter 248 - He who uses HP in reality

“This is highly annoying,” Lydia said and crossed her arms, visibly struggling to not readjust the patch over her right eye. They were on their way back home. “Well, now ya arrrrre a pirate princess, Lylytina,” Rave told her and earned half of the usual ireful glare in response.

“We be coming for your fucking booty!” Thana agreed and got a laugh out of Rave. Seeing that positive response, Thana dug a bit deeper; “And we be searching all through the cavernous depths of ...

Chapter 247 - Vs he who shanks ankles [Lydia POV]

“The barrier is in place,” Luna said, looking for a moment at the princess to her left. Many things lingered in her eyes: amusement, warning, a slight bit of worry. Lydia answered that glance with the same stoic expression she answered almost everything with. Before the crowd could think anything of it, Lydia turned and walked away.

Their relationship was fairly close these days. It hadn’t been when they first met in front of a freshly sealed grave, it had been when they met again in fro...

Chapter 246 - What came first, the colosseum or the egg?

“Congratulations,” John said to Thana as they sat in their corner of the arena the following day, “you split the fanbase.” He was talking about the reddit response that yesterday’s fight brought about. Generally, the group was trying their hardest not to look at the forum too much.

Lydia found it a waste of time, John did not like the hate threads he got, Rave did not want to stumble over another fanfic about her and her mother boning it out (the theories about what their dispute was...

Chapter 245 - The steaks of victory!

The smell of perfectly cooked steak kissed John’s nose with such wondrous allure that it could only be surpassed by the beauty it stemmed from. A thick piece of meat, sitting inside a small puddle of its own juices, that could have only been surpassed by itself if it had been made on a charcoal grill instead of a pan. Accompanied by two small mountains of green beans and mashed potatoes, both covered in a brown sauce, it made John’s mouth water with anticipation. A plate like this was in fro...

Chapter 244 - Vs Mario de Medici [Thana POV]

“I am now going to put the barriers in place,” Luna told the two contestants. Silver light bounced from her hands to both of them. Thana could feel it pushing through her. Like how tiny particles of dust tumble through the air and eventually settle on surfaces, the silver energy eventually formed protective layers around her vital organs and areas.

If she wanted, she could have tried to resist, and a big part of her wanted to. The memory of having foreign magic in her body was still fresh,...

Chapter 243 - The Prelude to an ass-whooping.

“Well then,” John said as he sat down between Rave and Lydia on the table. They were an hour early, again, and sitting on the platform. He pulled his laptop from his inventory to check a few things out. “Okay, they have Wireless,” he announced.

“Awesome!” Rave brought her chair over until their armrests were touching. In response, John pushed the laptop slightly into her direction so that she had an easier time reading. “Now then…” he opened another website they had found yes...

Chapter 242 - Evening talks over the smell of sewage

“This is dull,” Nathalia groaned as she watched John and the rest of the group fight some oversized slime monsters. The dragoness had told them that she actually had gotten tired of just fucking around. Apparently, the devil lived in the fridge and gravity aimed at the sky nowadays.

Anyhow, she was now at the backline of the group, told to not do anything unless it was to save someone, together with Thana and Undine, the latter of which they were protecting as she was on healing duty.

Chapter 241 - She shouldn’t have.

John opened the PDF of the rules for Warhammer 40k (technically it was 30k; they were playing with the Horus Heresy rules today) he had on his laptop. This was 45 minutes after they had collapsed on the bed. Nathalia had come to see what the ruckus was about and then needed to be appeased in the usual way.

‘Shower sex with a dragon is exactly like normal shower sex…’ John thought. Shower sex was still in his top 5 of favourite ways to have sex, but he had still expected something… more...

Chapter 240 - Dispersing the storm

“Hey, Lydia, can we talk for a moment?” John asked after knocking on the door to her room. It had been about an hour since they had gotten home, and he had not seen the princess since she had departed from the group back in the arena. The melody of her piano assured him that she was home, at the very least.

At first, he had hoped that this thing would blow over on its own. Either Thana or Lydia would surely be wise enough to just apologize to the other. Thana, somewhat predictab...

Chapter 239 - In Jeopardy 2

The scene unpaused, the beige filter disappeared along the arrow in John’s field of view, and the drop pod crashed right on top of Jeff. There were gasps all around when the sides of the drop pod fell open and two figures stepped out onto the open field.

The first thing the camera focused on was Jeff, who preceded the other figure and waved, completely unharmed. Apparently, this was some kind of act? Not that John greatly cared, he looked at the figure behind Jeff.

Almost three-metre t...

Chapter 238 - In Jeopardy

“That is right, folks,” Jeff spoke as the announcer desk landed on the floor; “We are kicking this off with a game of Jeopardy!”

The moment the desk connected to the floor, a game stage rose from the ground in front of it. The stage was made from sandstone, or at least an abyssal material that looked just like it, and of Roman design. The main part of it was a giant wall with six rows and five columns, making for a total of 25 rectangular fields, on it. These fields had numbers on them...