Capitalism Bits here to talk about the new adjustments to the Patreon offerings. As previously mentioned, I had to clean up a mess I made: Livestreams are no longer accessible through Patreon subscriptions. More info on that in the audio.
BAWdy Ratings- I completely forgot to touch on this in the audio; as I had them presented previously, they violated the Patreon Community Guidelines.
Look. I don't care if you liked them, and I liked them and everyone was...
2022-06-02 23:38:01 +0000 UTC
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Okay, so. I recorded this last year on June 1st, to celebrate the pride month.
I... honestly don't remember everything that I said. It's been a busy year.
But I'm pretty certain I don't say anything that I would disagree with. And I thought it would be fun to try it again and see how good I am at repeating myself by accident. I think my understanding of my own sexuality has gotten a bit better.
Anticipate that audio a little later today, perhaps. Wink.
H...
2022-06-01 23:34:25 +0000 UTC
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Just a quick unpackaging. I'm so excited to have more ropes to play with. My other set is a bit limiting due to the length and I had a person challenge me to do a pentagram tie on my own.
Challenge accepted, sir. Gimmie a sec.
2022-05-30 23:34:09 +0000 UTC
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Hello, my Favorites!
How are you doing!? I hope well.
So, there has been a bit of a shake up, regarding my ability to offer discord and streams as rewards. There is more information about that [HERE]. Long story short, I'm a bad girl and Patreon is for well behaved girls, only. Oops.
That's okay. My therapist says I'm resilient.
So, those rewards are discontinu...
2022-05-30 22:00:04 +0000 UTC
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The Final card brings us a final message, and completes the reading for the month ahead. It seems like a pretty clear message to me: The beginning of the summer is a great time to take stock of how you are feeling and take some small steps to improve your existence; It's okay to prioritize your own well being and take some time for yourself.
Anyway.... thats enough of all THAT.
Hope you have a great week.
2022-05-28 02:19:47 +0000 UTC
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Our third card brings warnings that should be headed. Dangers lie ahead, for those who do not rest.
2022-05-28 02:13:46 +0000 UTC
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A second card for your curious ears. More information. More clarity. More questions...
2022-05-28 02:11:46 +0000 UTC
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So, I'm super behind on Friday patreon releases and I just.... can't have that hahaha.
I figured with a new month coming, you probably wanted to know what's in the cards for your dick. And I can do that for you, baby! That's what I'm here for!
I really enjoyed the Tarot concept the other week. I want to work that concept into something more.... structured so, this is a second run on it.
I want to be able to break the reading up into parts... for reasons that will becom...
2022-05-28 02:08:11 +0000 UTC
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Trigger Warning: I use some spooky words and I touch briefly on the larger world events in this one. I mostly whine about my own shit though. Real good if you like an Irate Bits Rant.
I talk about what's going on here, on Patreon, and how I am trying to deal with that fallout. The internet is a weird place and it just gets weirder every day. I also talk about my opinions on what's happening on here, cause I have a couple.
I have a 2022-05-27 22:28:58 +0000 UTC
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Trigger Warning: I use some spooky words in here like the "R" word and the "S - A" words. I would love to tell you what the words are, but.... I can't. Isn't that funny? I am using the words in the context of words I am confused we are not allowed to say in polite youtube society. The discussion is..... kind of...... weird to be honest.... hahaha
I haven't really done an audio like this in a while, but.... I have been thinking about t...
2022-05-27 12:01:03 +0000 UTC
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I bought some things.
I got some things.
I unboxed them.
It's cute if you sing it right.
I had a Kudu Voodoo order come in and I wanted to open it with you. Hopefully I will have pictures soon.
Hope your day is going well!
2022-05-26 22:01:56 +0000 UTC
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So, it's been a hot minute since I gazed upon the beautiful offerings of your physical glory and, well, I miss it.....
How this works:
- I have my neat little google form. You have use that to send me your pics.
- I only look at Imgur links. Please, do not send me direct images. This is for your safety and for mine. I really want you to retain control over your photos. I do not save anything.
- I am the only one who sees the photo.
<...
2022-05-26 19:33:25 +0000 UTC
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This was requested and I painfully needed a distraction.
Hard reminder, all of my expertise comes from owning a butt ton of silicone to stick up my hootch and the info I have gleaned over the years. I don't have a background in chemistry or biology or anything.
Some day I'll make a list of all the shops I love.... Today is not that day.
Shop safely, my friends.
2022-05-26 00:29:22 +0000 UTC
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Hello my favorites!
So.... Long story short, I have to make some sudden changes to some stuff around here. I have had a few things brought to my attention that I need to remove or modify in order to keep my page within Patreon's community guidelines and I expect I will be a bit brutal with the repairs as I don't like doing things twice. I'll talk more about this in the Friday update.
Other changes include:
I will be immediately disassociating the Discord Server fr...
2022-05-25 20:29:43 +0000 UTC
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Eeeey, it's Friday! It's been a quiet week on my end. Well, I had one interesting thing happen. I talk about it in here; It's cool.
I'm live streaming on Discord tomorrow and Sunday. I'm going to bring my new toy to at least one of those. Maybe see you there?
Hope your week has been amazing!
2022-05-21 01:47:19 +0000 UTC
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SOUND WARNING: It gets loud and high pitched. I'm..... kind of sorry for that. But at the same time, I know you want to hear me scream, so... we will have to work on the production side of things to not blow out your eardrums.
Look, I'm going to claim this is like... a review or something? Its just a thinly veiled excuse to play with the new toy.
And it was a great time.
Enjoy?
2022-05-20 12:00:06 +0000 UTC
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Sound Warning for Uncontained Glee
Look. I'm pretty sure I misrepresented ALL the stats on this machine, here. Like, doubling the weight. Oops...
In my defense... I was excited and my mind was somewhere else and I literally JUST took it out of the box and I have ...
2022-05-19 12:01:01 +0000 UTC
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TRIGGER WARNING: I touch on suicide very quickly. It is just a couple lines, but I make a comment that could be upsetting if you don't expect it. The comments are made in the context of how sometimes people will threaten bodily harm to draw attention and how that upsets me.
So, I had a really upsetting interaction this week that just drained me of a lot of my energy. I kind of... accidently went on a rant about it.
Long story short, growing is hard when you did...
2022-05-13 20:16:25 +0000 UTC
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Short update this week as I put the majority of my thoughts into the extended rant version that is.... far too long and emotional to feed you as a weekly update.
I have a livestream this Sunday at Sun May 15 2022 20:00:00 GMT+0000 (Unix Timestamp1652644800). The Sunday streams are going to be a permanent feature and they are open to all patreon tiers with Discord access (Noms and up).
I'm not sure if I said Im tired enough hahahaha.
I hope your week is...
2022-05-13 19:54:35 +0000 UTC
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I figured I would give you a little taster of this project, as I have been working on it and I would like to show off what I have so far.
So, some context: this is super early in the editing process. I recorded a run of the script. Cut it all together. The narration is pretty hot. I debated just releasing it as a narrative, but then I remembered I was looking forward to doing the SFX of moving around the house. And the wet sounds and background desperation will really make this whole ...
2022-05-13 12:01:02 +0000 UTC
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Synopsis: I'm going to read your dick's fortune. Great news, the universe has great things in store for it.
Tags: [RambleFap] [FortuneFap] [Sexy Tarot Reading] [Oral] [Blow Job] [Cock Sucking] [Vibrator Torture] [Toy Play] [Sloppy Blow Job] [ Sloppy Pussy] [Clean Up] [Clean Up Blow Job] [Female Orgasm] [Whines] [Whimpers] [Moans] [Screams]
Production Notes: My week took a hard nosedive so I decided to do what I do b...
2022-05-13 01:04:50 +0000 UTC
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It's been another week, apparently. I've been busy and not busy at the same time. I think the "Friday" Patreon release will be late tonight/ early tomorrow...
Something exciting, this way, comes....
Hopefully a couple things.
Like... the projects I have hyped.... where's that genetically questionable coitus, Bits?!? Soon.....
2022-05-06 22:47:51 +0000 UTC
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Okay! I'm back with filler. But fun filler!
So, we are into the humanoid-ish races. I think.... we may as well get into it, going from shortest to tallest.
I know what I said. I know I might be wrong.
A thing I didn't consider: My week of sickness was also a week off for my pussy... Girl is tight and comfortable existing that way... so, it get's a bit weird when I shove the toy in anyway.
2022-05-06 12:01:03 +0000 UTC
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This week I'm taking a look at the Vibrating Wand from PlusOne.
I have talked about the PlusOne product line before and I was pretty impressed with the quality. And when I found myself in BIG BOX STORE again, I figured I would pick up the wand to c...
2022-05-05 12:00:06 +0000 UTC
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I'm legitimately physically ill this week and I am really struggling with how it threw off my recoding mojo. I was really feeling myself for a minute there.
I'm spiraling on organization on the back end this week while I wait for this thing to clear up. If you want to hear the behind the scenes progress on the Genetically Questionable Coitus Trilogy, it can be found [HERE] for the Nom ...
2022-04-29 21:58:20 +0000 UTC
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So this is one of those peeks into how I do things, because, sometimes people are like, "Oh Bits, what is your process?" and the honest answer is..... I dunno, I feel possessed by smut sometimes.
In an attempt to show how I do things Im going to break down some of my process on Part Two of the Genetically Questionable Coitus storyline; Man, I love how that name rolls off the tongue.
I have a basic idea of where it is all going and I wanted to talk it out with you while my s...
2022-04-29 12:01:03 +0000 UTC
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Heeeeeey. So. I went a bit hard last week, and this week I'm sick. I hope you can forgive me for picking some low hanging content and putting a low effort piece together. This one is more talking and less getting off, this time around.
I'm reading some really horrible things people have said to me, just like that segment on that late night TV show, but with more sick Bits and less real celebrities. This was fun to put together and I only cried a few times... so that was nice.
2022-04-27 12:01:02 +0000 UTC
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HAAAAAAY. Honestly, I'm so tired. BUT! I have a few things on the go/ on the way so.... We will keep working!
Also, Sunday is my one year anniversary of making smut and thats kind of neat I guess.
2022-04-22 22:42:59 +0000 UTC
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This poll is regarding THIS AUDIO. I humbly request your thoughts on how you would like this to go down.
Okay, so, I see this plotline in my mind, and it's a basic but classic story arc: We've had the blow job. Then we have the fucking. Then we add a third party.
Insert that one Lady Gaga soundbite here, I'm a literary smut genius, sometimes its so hard to contain, please hold your applause, we ...
2022-04-21 20:51:40 +0000 UTC
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Note: So, the 'I' word is flagged by Patreon as unacceptable and we aren't going to argue with our hosting company, cause, they own the servers. I think "Genetically Questionable Coitus" is tongue in cheek enough and not necessarily a boner killer. GQC for short and confusion?
Synopsis: I just wanted to gather up the dishes from my son's room. He's home from college, and it's been so nice to have him home, you know? Anyway, you will never...
2022-04-21 17:48:01 +0000 UTC
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