Bleap

CHP 57: Path to Salvation

Sitting in the central command room with her feet kicked up, Yu Mei-ren had had an epiphany.

You see, the way to save humanity wasn't tact and superb intellect.

It wasn't talent or potential.

Nor was it using the power of external forces like their former Director would have them believe.

No, the easiest way for man to solve his problems was bumrushing said problems with a bunch of his peeps and beating the ever living SHIT out of said problems.

Trauma?

Wha...

CHP 56: Master Plan

"Stupid Olga and her stupid..." Nicholas looked down on the ongoing battle from one of the castle battlements, picking up a rotten cabbage from the pile of random vegetables he'd put together, "Money."

He shamelessly threw it at the head of a random soldier, making the vegetable explode in the man's face and spread it's putrid contents all over his helmet.

"Hah... Good luck getting that out!" The teenager chortled to himself.

It was the only way to distract and keep himself ...

CHP 55: Orleans

"...How do you have the armour of Fafnir?"

Nicholas tilted his head in confusion, staring at the badass mofo looking down on him.

It was Siegfried, a legendary Dragon Slayer... as if he hadn't met nearly half a dozen of those by now.

He totally didn't want the pulsing green lines on the dude's body, he wanted the guy's big sword even less...

"Can you please return Balmung to me?"

"

"Eh...Do I have to?" Nicholas drawled, inspecting the weapon in his hands, "...

CHP 54: Tutorial Moment

"You've done well in coming this far! Let it be known that Vlad the IIIrd recognises you and those who follow as worthy foes! Allow me to praise thee! The way you've dealt with those under me is impeccable!"

Mordred regarded their newest enemy with a raised brow, utterly gobsmacked by the blonde man making a speech with open arms...

He was a monarch, she could see that much from the way he dressed and carried himself but not exactly a 'prim and proper' one... She could see THAT fr...

CHP 53: The Common Man

The innkeep nervously wiped his cups with a cloth, occasionally glancing at the strange assortment of folks that had walked into his inn some moments ago and managed to drive off the few customers this tiring war had left him.

A blonde man and a grey haired young lady were merrily talking to one another.

...An ashen haired woman was shouting at a blonde, the latter calmly answering each of her seething questions with a homely and gentle grace to her that looked suspiciously simila...

CHP 52: Funny Story

"Ahn~! Don't be so rough~."

"Piss off, hoe." Nicholas deadpanned and chucked a boulder at Kiyohime, with no hesitation whatsoever... No, it seemed as though he was trying to crush that bug you throw your shoes at from a distance, "If you think every mook that comes along is Anchinchin or whatever, you a hoe according to the Bible. The grind compels you, begone."

"Hm! Hm!" Martha nodded furiously, holding up both her hands with a proud smile plastered on her face, "I thought he did...

CHP 51: Dragons Galore

"Senpai, we should be nearing the area Saint Georgios was last seen in... as well as the other Dragon Slayer." Mash reported like the dutiful kouhai she was, trying to be as serious as possible but still unable to stop her gaze from occasionally moving to their surroundings, taking in sights that someone who'd spent her life in labs had never been privy to, "I'm sure I don't need to say this but... we should be careful."

Because the major enemy this time was a dragon of legend, Romani h...

CHP 50: G-Good Luck

Nicholas groaned and rubbed his eyes, turning his head around to see foliage and old trees with a destroyed chunk of land beyond them that looked like it'd been bombarded by artillery... though he figured there wasn't much of a difference considering this was the aftermath of his 'humane' neutralisation of a rogue Martha.

He would never admit it had hurt him to the point he didn't want to think about it.

"G-Good morning." Jeanne greeted him from the campfire, sitting with her hand...

CHP 49: The Final Solution

Nicholas stared at the setting Sun before lightly tapping the tip of his shoe against the ground under him... backing away for the first time in his whole life to avoid a punch aimed for his chin only to throw such a massive character development right down the drain by lunging forward and slamming his fist down on the woman that was about to smash a staff against his face.

"...What?" 'Martha' staggered backwards, holding her bruised arms with eyes wide in surprise, "You're human, are y...

CHP 48: Jeanne D'Arc

The Sun stood proudly in a clear blue sky with occasional dots here and there because of birds and the occasional wyverns... which was something normal at this point if Mordred went by how many of those damned lizards she'd run into by now.

"Man... Mother, don't you think you're getting way too carried away?" The Knight of Betrayal sat on an empty barrel, "We been heading in the wrong goddamn direction! Not even wrong, the literal fucking opposite! And what the fuck are we even doing at...

CHP 47: Dragon Bi-... Witch

"You've struck down Fafnir... How?! I'll bur-..."

Boom.

Nicholas kicked hard at the Dragon's... Fafnir's head, like he'd kicked his cousin as a kid, lopping the humongous beast through the air until it went crashing into a distant cliff, ripping apart the Earth with it's weight and size as it howled in pain, scattering man and beast alike with sheer presence.

A mighty hero was clashing with the evil dragon that brought death and destruction and gave way to a tyrant that burn...

CHP 46: Actions have Consequences

"Er... I was pondering over what little Mordred said before their departure..." Martha spoke out calmly, with grace that wouldn't exist if Nicholas was around, as she walked behind her Chaldea's 48th Master, "I think that happening is a possibility too great to ignore."

Gudako flatly glanced back at her before returning her gaze to their surroundings, "So you're back to that persona?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"Miss Martha..." Mash ignored the sudden change in demeanour entire...

CHP 45: Idol Monarch

Marie Antoinette was a Queen of France, born to play her role, born to be loved by the people and in turn love them even when they rose against her and took her head in the name of revolution...

She was a person that would love her people regardless of all, never wish tragedy upon them and always hope for their betterment.

But right now, all of that was a fleeting memory.

She'd arrived in this distant time, where her people were in turmoil so it was only right that as one bo...

CHP 44: Liberator

"The fuck is this place?"

Nicholas pointed at the wet dirt road under him.

"The fuck is that?"

He pointed at the giant flaming cock ring in the sky.

"The fuck is there?"

He pointed around at the grassy plains stretching out as far as the eye could see.

"The fuck am I breath-"

"It's just land! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Gudako finally got fed up of his shit, veins popping out on her forehead, "It's like you've never been outside! Stop swearing!...

CHP 43: Whole Ass Platoon

Romani nervously stood on a podium, beads of sweat rolling down his forehead as his gaze passed over several high class heroic spirits, his temperamental boss and three equally eccentric Masters that just so happened to be humanity's last hope against genuine extinction.

"Well, I doubt I could outdo Nicholas's speech just now... even though I still don't get why he would give one." He decided to start off on a lighthearted tone in consideration of the potential damage the main topic was...

CHP 42: Haha, Get Bent

Nicholas looked at Olga in silent apprehension, tuning out the other two people in the room completely... He narrowed his eyes, making the already nervous woman fidget in her place even more than she already was, "Did you have Da Vinci make your chest bigger?"

Olga paused, clearly expecting something else, "W-Wha?"

"And he calls me a pervert."

"...Senpai."

The pale haired teenager shamelessly put his hands near his own chest, moving them up and down, "I think it was a ...

CHP 41: Pervert Inventor

Nicholas shot awake and looked around, letting out a small sigh when he realised he was in his room at Chaldea. He moved his hands to his face, "Two eyes, one mouth..." Then he moved his hands down to his more private areas and tilted his head, "One nut?! No no... two nuts."

"...Wait."

He felt around a bit more.

"THREE?!"

Chaldea's as-of-yet strongest Master shouted to himself, violet eyes dilating in shock before they relaxed again, "No wait, nevermind. It's two."

CHP 40: Therapy?

Nicholas eyeballed the dark haired woman sitting across from him strangely, "Now I ain't one to catcall or even look but hot damn woman, what the fuck did they feed you over there, petroleum? Oil? Did you eat your twin in yo mama's womb or sum? Jesus fucking christ."

As evident by his rant, the pale haired teenager was well and truly shocked by the appearance of the new 'doctor' assigned to him. She had long dark that reached her knees, golden eyes and by the big man himself, the most.....

CHP 39: An Immortal's Life At Chaldea

"Hm~ Hm~..."

Yu Mei-ren was casually going about her day, she'd made her bed after a good night's rest, taken a well-deserved hot shower after Chaldea's new acting Director had decided to put her ass in cryofreeze in a stroke of unprecedented genius that she'd make him pay for soon enough. She'd also indulged herself a bit and had breakfast in bed...

That last one was really enjoyable cause the usual cooks had been replaced by figures of legend with equally legendary skill in the ...

CHP 38: The Incident

"Why am I here?" Emiya asked flatly, looking around at a gathering of perhaps the dumbe- *ehem*... 'gifted' people he'd ever met and he had met a LOT of people over the course of being humanity's designated hitman for maybe every single fuck up in existence.

There was also the fact that he'd arrived here yesterday.

"Hey Master, can't I just leave?"

Nicholas deadpanned at him, "You're probably gonna hole up in the kitchen again. I know more than a few dudes with a buncha stuf...

CHP 37: Ritsuka Fujimaru Gets It

Nicholas tapped his fingers on a metal table, resting his head in his other hand as he idly stared into the kitchen behind the cafeteria where a certain Saint was busy with her cooking, "How long?"

"Are you a damn kid?! I said it'll be ready soon so just be patient!" Martha shouted back for the umpteenth time and Nicholas chortled like he'd been doing every single time she shouted at him.

It was kinda adorable to see the 'graceful' saint kick being prim and proper in the balls and...

CHP 36 - Yu the Dumb One

Nicholas held up a can of coke, glancing at the plate of chicken nuggets in his lap, and closed his eyes to take in a deep breath.

"How could a man be depressed when these is a thing?"

He looked at the six 'coffins' holding the rest of A-Team except for him and let out a sigh, "Told y'all coffins was a straight up death flag."

They could've literally made them any other shap-... Nicholas shook his head, probably wouldn't have matter considering Willy Wonka planted bombs righ...

CHP 35: The Return of the King

"Welcome back everyone!" Romani enthusiastically greeted the 'field team', a wide smile on his tired face as he held his arms open and maintained a lax image if only for the sake improving the atmosphere having the fate of humanity shoved on your shoulders brought with it, "I've got Chaldea up running as best I could with what was left so I'm sorry if something is out of place, it'll take a bit to iron out everything..."

The doctor paused for a moment, running his gaze over the returnin...

CHP 34: Put Em Up, Fool

Olga Marie Animusphere looked at the three servants, one demi servant and two masters huddled together some distance away from her and then down at her own hands, empty hands, "Me and my mouth..."

"Ooh, I got a four in blue."

"I WILL END YOUR BLOODLINE!!!"

"Haha, fuck y'all. Take a plus four and I'm switching it back to yellow."

"Gah!! Damn you!"

Olga regretted shouting at them earlier now that she'd been left out and they were playing... Which was kinda strange ...

CHP 33: Father vs Son

Martha sat on the cave floor with her legs tucked under her, one hand atop the other and eyes closed serenely, casting a saintly image that would knock most others right out the park. She'd laid down her cloak earlier so the bits and pieces of Earth here and there didn't bother her much.

"Shouldn't we help her?" Mash asked worriedly, still on guard because... well, unlike certain dumbasses she recognised their situation for it was.

A battle against a legend the likes of which all ...

CHP 32: King Arthur is a Chi-

"Sooo..."

Nicholas looked the alleged source of the deviation in this timeline (officially called 'Singularity') up and down before slightly tilting his head in thought and nodding to himself, "Can we just have a drink or something instead of beating each other up?"

"...Hoh?" Martha chimed in curiously, "My Master doesn't make such offers often... Actually, I've never seen him with an aversion to hitting people."

Shrugging, Nicholas continued, "I ain't never seen someone s-....

CHP 31: Kill Yourself, Now

Nicholas grabbed a skeleton by the face and shoved his lightsaber through it, watching as the creature fell apart, "Is it just me or are these things getting stronger?"

"They are, senpai. Their skulls are more draconic and their weapons aren't rusty like the usual skeletons. The parameters seem to be much higher too... though I doubt they would be much trouble for Miss Martha or Mordred, or anyone. The Director might have some trouble if left alone with a significant number and... ah, w...

CHP 30: Ganking a Demigod

"Why's he look like someone just punched him in the gut?" Gudako asked with a deadpan, making Mash glance at Nicholas who was being consoled by Martha, the Master-servant du-... now trio, walking behind them.

It was strange seeing two heroes of legend, one who felt a little too familiar for comfort, consoling a teenager but Mash wouldn't really know, she'd never been outside... which was why she was looking curiously at the ruined city as they walked to the cavern hosting the Holy Grail...

CHP 29: Your Father Was A Two Sta-

"Oi Master!" Mordred called out to the pale haired teenager curiously taking in the burning city all around them and said something she never thought she would, "Ain't we supposed to have like... a plan or something? You know, a proper one?"

Weren't magi supposed to be smart as hell and more meticulous than anybody else? The kind of assholes who'd use anything and everything, scheme and plot, and do what they wanted without morality? Like her mother?

Well, there was Merlin but... ...

CHP 28: Likeable Master

Martha watched over her Master dutifully, as she had always done ever since she'd been summoned, something she knew he knew. She didn't want to accept that the reason her grip around her staff tightened as a burst of light exploded from Mash's shield was jealousy, it was unsaintly!

But... he was about the first person who liked Martha from the village more than Martha the sister of Lazarus, liberator of Tarascon and vanquisher of Leviathan's offspring and was so verbal and adamant about...