Being a writer is hard. There’s a lot of self-doubts that can creep in. You start asking yourself, why am I doing this? Is what I’m writing actually any good? Which is why a book like Kung Fu For Girls: Self Defense With Style is so comforting. The author of this book clearly knows nothing abou...
2020-12-15 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostDuring 1900🌠survival training, we are taught to treat every assault on reality like a threat. The most dangerous lunacy is often hidden inside seemingly nice things like Christian joke books or pet massage manuals or the gentle affirmations of a self-appointed happiness coach.
2020-12-14 13:01:06 +0000 UTC
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Once, long ago, there was a comedy website that only wanted three simple things: to make people laugh, to teach them a few things, and to make enough money to build a robot that would be our friend, instead of yet another enemy. It succeeded in two of those goals, before getting piledriven into the dirt by ...
2020-12-11 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostHappy Reflecting Day, everyone! Since Brockway and I started the noble plan to make the Internet fun again, I've written 13 of our acclaimed Fucking Day articles. Today we're going to look back on what I've shared with you, erotically.
One of the keys to our success here at 1900🌠is finding strange...
2020-12-10 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostIt’s getting to look a lot like Christmas, probably. Somewhere. There’s a plague on, I haven’t checked. But I’m sure somebody’s still trying to put on a Christmas to cap off this horrible, insane year full of garbage and terror, so it’s only appropriate that our Christmas movie be The Rapsit...
2020-12-09 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostMaybe you've always known this in your heart, but Karate is magic. And I don't mean it has elements of ritualized mysticism-- I mean it will give you a Chinese accent and the power to teleport children into and out of your Karate lair. I'm very excited to show you 1996's The Magic of Martial Arts.<...
2020-12-08 13:01:05 +0000 UTC View PostGreetings, Hot Doggers! It is time once again to honor your contributions to the art of Hot Doggery. You saw our site jam-packed with jokes -- bursting with jokes, so stuffed with jokes it tried to slip one more joke in and wound up puking jokes all over the floor -- and you said “hey, how about some more...
2020-12-07 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostIn 1992, 179 pages of brave words conspired to escape the shackles of reality. Their plan did not work. As they were pulled back from the beyond, they were fused with a dog trainer's diary of the same size to occupy a single book in a maddening, impossible arrangement of phrases and ideas. I can think of no...
2020-12-04 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostTransformers were awesome. They took two bitchin’ things, cars and robots, and mashed them together into the ultimate toy. Then some poor intern had to come up with a reason for that toy to exist, and everything started falling apart. Oh, not immediately: At first it was just “robot cars fight other rob...
2020-12-03 13:01:03 +0000 UTC View PostDinosaurs are awesome, but get less awesome every day. And I don't mean we all age out of the magic and wonderment of giant lizards. I mean paleontologists, who ran out of cool names long ago, keep discovering new dino species and adding lame ass feathers to old ones. Have you seen a recent velociraptor pic...
2020-12-02 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
You know what the easiest thing in the world is to write? A film adaptation of a fighting game. We explore a bit of each character’s background, and then they fight. Because there’s a fighting contest. They have enlisted in this fighting contest, and that is why they want to fight: Because they have already agreed to do that by, remember, signing up for a fighting contest. That’s it! Stop fucki...
2020-12-01 13:01:03 +0000 UTC View PostOwning a cat is like saying, I want a pet, but also I want it to hate me. So, owning a cat that you heal entirely with holistic medicine is like saying I want a pet, but I also want it to hate me and be extremely ill.
The Japanese version of anything is a beartrap baited with pocky and used panties: It might hurt you, sure, but pocky is sweet and those panties look salty. It’s worth a shot! I would like you to carefully nurture that mindset as I take you through… Japanese Soul Train.
2020-11-27 13:01:05 +0000 UTC
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Seanbaby: Comic books take place in a universe where mad artists have been layering deranged ideas on top of each other for 80 years. An editor might say "yes" to your idea of Werewolf Captain America or "sure" to a summer-long event where every character becomes an ape. The point is, you d...
2020-11-26 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostGenshin Impact is a freemium Breath of The Wild clone made by a Chinese studio and riddled with gacha mechanics. With a pedigree like that, it should have stolen a small market share from the prime mobile gaming demographics -- confused children and desperate perverts -- and then imploded ...
2020-11-25 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostMixing two concepts together has been a part of our life since an industrious australopithecus invented Murder Stick Murder Rock, but the terrible power of one-thing-plus-a-different-thing was never fully felt until 1985 when Joe Corley, karate champion and world famous instructor, created Self-Defense ...
2020-11-24 13:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostIt’s time once again for some Hot Dog Appreciation, which sounds like a dick-gazing contest, and it is! But only metaphorically. On this day we honor you, the readers, and your hilarious contributions to this site dedicated to interdimensional psychic garbage. It sounds weird when we put it like that, but...
2020-11-23 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostAs fans of the site know, in 1991, a talentless hack named Gregory Godek published 1001 Ways To Be Romantic. It was a poorly edited list of song titles and saccharine cliches useless to anyone except prison guards trying to de-escalate active sex crimes. But it was also a huge hit, so two years lat...
2020-11-20 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View PostIt is the mission of this site to bring you Wrong Media: bizarre pieces of pop culture that simply do not belong to our dimension. Things that fit our reality like Magnum condoms fit everyone who buys Magnum condoms. But not everything that penetrates the veil and stains the sheets of our zeitgeist is bad. ...
2020-11-19 13:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostNerds! Others! Come listen to EpiSSoDDe FiVVe of The Dogg Zzone 9000, the official podcast of the popular jokes n' fun browser-page, 1900hotdog.com. Seanbaby and Bro...
2020-11-18 13:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostBack before comic books and video games were taken seriously, the lowest form of either was the video game comic book. Absolutely nobody looked forward to reading all 17 pages of the gripping origin story of Bonk: Headbutting Cavebaby. But if there was a dollar to trick out of a sad nerd-child, Mal...
2020-11-17 13:01:01 +0000 UTC View PostThey cured obesity in 1987 and you fools missed it. I'm, of course, talking about Lose Weight Now: VIDEO HYPNOSIS WITH SUBLIMINALS, a VHS tape from the series Dick Sutphen's Life-Changing VIDEO HYPNOSIS. For $19.95, viewers could allow Dick into their brain to reprogram them to be ...
2020-11-16 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostIt’s our first Hot Dog Appreciation Day! This is your day, our dear and noble fans. The day we honor the sacrifices you make (several dollars a month) in honor of a noble cause (keeping us in karate mats; we go through so many!). The day we showcase the contributions you make to ...
2020-11-13 13:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostThere's a whole genre of erotica based around humans shapeshifting into animals and having sex with each other at Christmas time. Seriously, it includes such classic novels as A Mate For The Christmas Dragon, Prancer Claws, The Twelve Mates Of Christmas Book 3, and Bear Humbug! If you can ...
2020-11-12 13:00:02 +0000 UTC View Post
Welcome to Reflecting Day! The one day a month we’re free to drop the punchline shield and just be earnest and honest with you. Free to wax philosophical about the state of the Hot Dog (strong), and occasionally dive off into tangents (long and weird) that confuse and alienate our readers (sexy; you). I’ve got one prepared about how the Internet should have never moved on from the GIF stage, and ...
2020-11-11 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostYou already know this from all the times you've accidentally killed someone by misunderstanding tango instructions, but the body is lined with "pressure points," or invisible buttons that control organs with magic. It isn't much more complicated than that, but George Dillman still makes it easy in PRESS...
2020-11-10 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostLet’s learn about other cultures through the only medium we have the attention span for: Cartoons! I don’t know what to expect from Russian cartoons. I guess I expect them to be pretty much like any other cartoon, except with sadder eyes and more track pants. 1984’s Wow, A Talking Fish! does ...
2020-11-09 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostVery few things about Elvis in 1961's Blue Hawaii aren't upsetting, from the way he holds his dog:
To th...
2020-11-06 13:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostAlien changed the horror movie game so much that it was the only movie anybody made for years. Alien... but it’s a robot. Alien but underwater. Alien but multiple aliens (that one was pretty good). Alien but Canadian. The problem is that Alien was inte...
2020-11-05 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View PostIn 1982, Pac-Man was so popular one genre of book was "something, fucking anything, about Pac-Man." This perfectly describes THE PAC-MAN RIDDLE AND JOKE BOOK. It's a deconstruction of the entire concept of "something." This is Plato's Cave if the shadows on your wall were Pac-Man and everything beh...
2020-11-04 13:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
