Yanholic

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 61

Patrol duty turned out to be exactly as exciting as watching paint dry.

Which is to say, not exciting at all.

The eastern perimeter stretched out like someone had decided to draw a line in the dirt. Trees on one side, more trees on the other side, and occasionally some rocks just to break up the monotony. We moved through it all at what they called standard patrol speed. That's what they called it, anyway. What it actually meant was fast enough that civilians would be impressed, s...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 60

Down here, darkness wasn't empty space. It was something solid, something that touched skin and stayed there, damp and clingy. Madara had lived in it so long he'd stopped remembering what the sun looked like. Decades did that. Turned memories into blank spaces. Sunlight was just one of many things that had gone missing from his head.

The chamber smelled like stone and old blood and rot. Behind Madara, the tree grew from the floor, pale bark twisted into something that almost looked lik...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 59

I didn’t think Sakumo was the type to joke while an entire base burned, but he said, quiet and sure, “It hasn’t fallen,” and then he was already moving.

Tsunade moved with him. A flash of pale hair, a footfall that didn’t even bother the ash, and both of them blurred past the outer berm like the night had opened a side door just for them. By the time my eyes caught up, they were gone.

I sighed, spun off two clones that flickered out of sight, then sprinted after Tsunade ...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 58

I watched Tsunade's expression shift into full mission mode as she turned toward Aya. "How many shinobi are we looking at inside the outpost?"

Aya didn't hesitate. "Twenty-three."

Twenty-three. That's a decent chunk of people for what looks like a supply depot. I glanced back toward the cluster of buildings we'd been observing. From our current position, tucked behind some weathered rocks about two hundred meters out, the place looked quiet enough. But twenty-three bodies could ma...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 57

I didn’t plan for the wind to be mean about it. But the wind was mean about it, shoving the smell of wet river mud and pine sap into my nose, flipping my hair into my eyes like it had a grudge.

The river kept hissing like it wanted us to shut up, but nobody listens to rivers.

“Contact west-southwest,” Aya murmured. “They’re moving parallel.”

Nobody else said much. Tsunade’s chakra was already building, subtle as a thunderhead humming behind your teeth. Sakumo t...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 56

Land of Lightning

The first civilian he questioned was a farmer with dirt under his fingernails and the shaky hands that came from watching too much violence in one day.

"They came from nowhere," the man said, wringing his cloth cap like it owed him money. "Shouting for everyone to get out, get out now. Said the mountain was gonna... you know. Explode or something."

"Who was shouting?" the Kumo-nin asked. The farmer had that glassy look that meant his brain was still trying ...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 55

The clone boss lowered the spyglass. The Raikage and the bijuu were tearing the forest into noise and fire, but his eyes drifted to the town instead. Half-empty already. The smart ones had run the second a stranger in Kumo colors yelled “evacuate.” The stubborn ones—farmers, drunks, the elderly, finally got the message when the ground convulsed like the earth itself had indigestion. Nothing like a bijuu brawl to loosen stiff legs.

A shadow leaned close. “Boss… this might be to...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 54

Lotus House had a garden. Not a real garden, obviously. Real gardens don’t have drunken samurai sleeping under azalea bushes or courtesans smoking pipes by the koi pond. But it had gravel paths, lanterns, and koi that had probably seen more regrettable late-night confessions than any priest in Fire Country.

The sake was good. Too good. Which was a problem, because good sake made me honest, and honesty wasn’t part of the Kanzaki Ryouma package deal. I sat back on a cushioned chair at...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 53

Tsunade stood at the tree line, eyes fixed on the encampment spread out below us like a military infection. Four tents in a loose circle, cooking fires trickling smoke into the afternoon air, sentries wandering the perimeter looking bored.

My clone spam actually worked. I watched her study the layout for what had to be the third time in two minutes.

"Your clone spam wasn't half bad," she admitted, which from Tsunade was basically a standing ovation. "Produced results, even if it w...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 52

"Pour me another bowl," Tsunade said, holding out her empty dish. "That was disturbingly good."

I ladled more soup from the pot, watching steam curl up from the surface. "Disturbingly?"

"It feels... wrong."

"Wrong how?"

"Bad food builds character. Good food makes you soft."

"So you're saying I'm making you soft?"

"I'm saying you're making me question everything I know about field cooking." She took a long sip and sighed contentedly. "And I hate how much I ...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 51

The morning sun baked the training ground into a furnace, sweat already gathering at the base of Shohei's neck despite the early hour. Packed dirt stretched between him and the fresh meat they'd dragged out for his entertainment—some Academy graduate who'd apparently kissed the right asses to skip the usual years of grunt work. The kid stood there like he owned the place, twenty meters of yellow earth separating them, while the Third Hokage droned on about responsibilities and advancement.<...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 50

The building looked about as threatening as a tax office on a Tuesday afternoon. Three stories of weathered stone and mismatched windows, squeezed between a dumpling shop that smelled like heaven and what had to be a pharmacy based on the medicinal herb scents wafting from its doorway. If someone had told me this was where they processed merchant permits or handled civilian complaints, I would've nodded and asked where to take a number.

It was a smart choice of venue. You can’t exactl...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 49

Consciousness came back in fragments—antiseptic smell, hushed voices, and a bone-deep ache that felt like someone had used my ribs for batting practice. The taste of blood lingered in my mouth, metallic and wrong, while something sharp dug into my ribs every time I tried to breathe properly.

I cracked my eyes open to familiar walls and the fuzzy shapes of medical equipment. Kitaura medical facility, I recognized the layout from previous visits. The trip back was mostly a haze of stumb...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 48

The road to the capital was dusty and boring. Hours into the escort mission, and Mikoto was starting to zone out from the repetitive sound of wagon wheels and footsteps.

She walked alongside Shinji, half-listening to one of the older chunin spin tales about missions that should have killed him. The man's left hand was missing two fingers—old injury, by the look of the scarred stumps.

“…so there I was, right?” the older chunin was saying, gesturing with his mangled hand. �...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 47

The afternoon sun cast long shadows across the small clearing near the Kitaura forest. Mikoto wiped sweat from her forehead, already breathing harder than she'd like to admit.

She watched Shinji reset his stance—casual, like they were about to practice forms instead of trying to overwhelm him two-on-one. Again.

'He makes this look so easy,' she thought, noting how Shinji barely seemed to be trying. He could probably fight them while doing his taxes.

"You know," Tsume pante...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 46

The smell of fresh bread and roasted chestnuts drifted through Kitaura's morning market as Nawaki and I made our way back toward the base, arms loaded with enough ingredients to keep the cooks happy for the next few days. The kid was practically bouncing on his feet, chattering about some jutsu Orochimaru had shown him yesterday while balancing three bags that looked ready to split at the seams.

"—so I've been trying to get it right, but something's off," he was saying, waving his fre...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 45

Danzo stood perfectly still across from the Hokage's desk, hands clasped behind his back. From this angle, he could read the subtle tension in Hiruzen's shoulders—the way his old friend's pipe remained unlit between his fingers, forgotten. The war reports scattered across the desk told the story clearly enough: Konoha was winning, but winning slowly. Too slowly.

"The reinforcements are already in motion," Hiruzen said without looking up. "Additional forces left for the western front a...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 44

The late afternoon sun stretched long shadows across the Tsuchikage's office, but the golden light couldn't do much to warm the stone chamber that had been home to Iwagakure's leaders for generations. Onoki sat behind his heavy oak desk, his fingers tapping against the wood as he studied the intelligence reports scattered in front of him like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

"The casualty reports are confirmed?" he asked without looking up.

The weathered elder near the window gave a sho...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 43

The Kumo jonin stood beside the rough bark of an old oak, his eyes tracking the movements of the clone tending to the injured genin’s wounds. Behind them, the Uchiha girl had taken up a defensive stance, her eyes scanning him and the treeline for threats. Shohei had served Kumogakure for twelve long years, rising through the ranks on skill and experience alone, but what he was seeing now went against everything he thought he knew about combat.

Two shadow clones. That was it. Just a pa...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 42

The Intelligence Division Archives smelled like old paper and dying ink. Three floors below ground level in the Administrative Building, the air never quite moved right—thick and stale, like breathing through wet cloth. Most shinobi avoided the place unless they absolutely had to be there.

Masao Nara didn't mind it. The quiet helped him think.

He sat at a scarred wooden table in one of the smaller rooms, surrounded by enough documents to paper a small house. Patrol logs, communi...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 41

AN: btw if anyone was confused, the demon thing is actually the main antagonist from naruto shippuden the movie. figured i should mention it in case not everyone’s seen it lol.

The forest clearing smelled like blood and piss. A young man in a black jacket was crouched next to his patient, humming some random tune while he poked around at the guy's body.

The sensor was still breathing, though he definitely wasn't having a good time. Shinji had been careful about ...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 40

The tabby had been sitting on the Academy's clay roof tiles for almost two hours now, and his ass was starting to go numb. Well, technically it was a cat's ass, but Clone #15 still felt every cramped muscle and hot tile pressing against fur that was getting way too warm in the climbing sun.

He flicked his tail in annoyance and kept watching the training yard below, where a bunch of second and third-years were beating the crap out of each other in what their instructors generously called...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 39

The rain had finally let up, but everything was still soaked. Water dripped from every branch, and the bark was slippery as hell under my feet. Mikoto and I were making decent time through the trees, keeping maybe half a mile between us and the caravan below.

But something was off.

She was keeping pace, sure. Still sharp. Still fast. But her face was set tighter than usual, her eyes just a little too far away.

"You doing okay?" I asked as we landed on a thick, mossy branch. ...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 38

I walked back toward my apartment, mentally running through the checklist of things that needed doing before tomorrow's mission. Joint operation with Team 4, escort duty, potential foreign shinobi encounters—the usual cheerful prospects that made up my career as a leaf shinobi.

Should probably let my team know about the delay, I mused, stepping around a puddle from the morning rain. 'They're expecting to meet up this afternoon, and finding out their mission got pushed back a day might...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 37

The moon hung outside my window like a drunk trying to find his keys, casting pale silver light across the kitchen table where I'd spread ou

The moon hung outside my window like a drunk trying to find his keys, casting pale silver light across the kitchen table where I'd spread out the Kage Bunshin scroll. A single candle flickered beside me, adding just enough warm glow to read the cramped handwriting without squinting myself blind.

Kushina had passed out about an hour ago, her h...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 36

The smell hit me before we even made it through the door—that perfect combination of charcoal smoke, sizzling beef fat, and the kind of hunger-inducing aromas that could probably end wars if deployed strategically.

"Table for three," I told the hostess, who looked like she'd been working here since the village was founded and had probably seen every type of shinobi drama play out over grilled meat.

She led us to a low table with tatami seating, the built-in grill already glowing...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 35

The moment Goro’s men charged, I made a tactical decision that would’ve gotten me court-martialed in any respectable army.

I stayed exactly where I was—thirty feet up in the trees.

Not out of laziness, mind you. I just wasn’t about to interrupt what was shaping up to be a front-row seat to a masterclass in synchronized violence. Mikoto and Tsume had been training together for over a week now, and it showed.

From up here, it was like watching a ballet—if ballet incl...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 34

The morning market was already in full swing by the time I arrived, vendors shouting prices over each other while customers poked through everything from hand-thrown pottery to questionably fresh fish. The whole square smelled like a mix of grilled meat, fresh bread, and that sulfur tang from the hot springs that seemed to follow you everywhere in this village.

I'd henged myself into a middle-aged man with graying hair and the kind of soft build that screamed "desk job." The transformat...

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 33

The morning sun slanted through Yugakure's steam-kissed streets as I walked arm-in-arm with my "wife," discussing the absolutely earth-shattering topic of whether we should buy the expensive rice or stick with the cheaper stuff.

"I'm telling you, Hiroshi," Mikoto said in a voice that wasn't quite her own—older, with the worn edges of someone who'd been married long enough to have the same argument about groceries every week. "The premium rice is worth it. Your mother always said—" 2025-06-20 03:57:04 +0000 UTC View Post

Hidden Leaf, Hidden Talents 32

Looking back, I think Tsume handled the situation about as well as anyone could expect from someone who'd just watched death miss her by inches.

Which is to say, she completely froze.

Her face went chalk white, eyes wide as dinner plates, staring at the three assassins I'd just intercepted like her brain was still trying to process what the hell had almost happened.

Mikoto wasn't much better. She'd gone rigid, one hand halfway to her weapon pouch, the other clutching her yuk...