joodlez

Commissions for Raising Hell

I need to get better about cross posting out of my Discord server LOL u_u Here are some drawings (and the simplest comic sequence) I made for my friend's work Raising Hell.

October rewards sent!

Hello! I tried scanning some of the ink sketches and they turned out pretty good! I will be staggering them since I'm not sure how well I'll do this month. I inlcuded two of my favourite pages though (as seen above) :3

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend!

honkai commission

Apparently I retain rights to this piece so I'm going to provide this as 72 DPI PSD file (with layers).  I did a lot of drawing last month haha wow...

Just some Halloween themed fanart

These are my friends' OCs! They were drawn on a 10x15cm paper that I found out didn't take to watercolours very well LOL...

Lots of Jo, and a Teo

I love October, I end up drawing so much somehow despite being so busy. I've been on a Jo high lately 

(the Teo drawing was for a daily prompt. It was "Lust" haha :D)

ink washes

playing around some more with inks. I don't know if i can ever get a finished look with them but I like being able to open my sketchbook to some colour even if it looks rough

Jaime and Lilith :3

I drew this for Nina, who stayed at my place for nearly 2 weeks. It's Jaime with her OC Lilith from her comic Lilith's Word.

I have been accumulating a lot of colourful sparkly inks (for dip/fountain pens) and I decided they're too pretty just for writing. I also got this sparkly highlighter and used that for the background. This drawing is neat in person cos of how sparkly it is. :3

September rewards sent

Hello! Sorry for my tardiness. I've been busy hosting some overseas friends and the second set of sketches proved much more time-consuming to colour than I expected lol.  Please enjoy, nonetheless!!

WIPs for the coming package :3

Hello! Here's what you can expect for the first week of October! The second one is a revamp of an older piece I have no recollection of sending out haha... The third is based on an old dream I had of a battle of the bands against Satan (who is now Jo apparently??) LMAO

Jo is the literal devil

I found out last week that Jo was actually Lucifer and I was like coolcoolcolcoolcolcoooloclol

I've been low-key scared to include him in my story even though he's been in my dreams a few times (because I'm superstitious and there are things I don't want to invoke) but yknow I guess, I guess I got played LMAOO

But really though, I guess if I'm searching for the God inside me I guess it makes sense that Satan would also show up as a package deal hahah! I still love Jo, I've made my peace with it. If anything this turn of events has made him hotter. u_u

I drew the second one while blasting a metal cover of Megalovania 

Aluna (gift)

Just something I drew last month for my friend! I brushed some actual eyeshadow over it because I like when things glitter :D

Rewards will go out tonight is what I'm hoping!! Thank you kindly for your patience and support. 

Sanctuary (Lore)

Jaime is a place as well as a person, but as the (w)hole in her chest grows, she is due to forfeit her soul and leave behind a place of pure love, where others can find healing and nurturing. So in the end, Jaime will no longer exist and Teo will become her light in the sky, and Bernard will be her night, watching over the lands she leaves behind. In retrospect, the two boys were always unusual as far as guardian spirits went; they felt especially ethereal, untouchable, and extremely loyal to Jaime. I realized later that they were soulmates to her love, and they were helping her along the path to Transcendence.

Although I didn't create Jaime with this intention, she became my vessel for exploring the idea of love at its purest. She commits herself to becoming this embodiment of love, which is unfortunately the antithesis of self-preservation. The closer we approach perfect love (ie "God"), the less we retain of our individuality -- and I think that's why we can never be "God." We would no longer be ourselves. Also, I don't think we could physically survive if we gave so much of ourselves away, which is why Jaime needs literal life support from Teo and other resourceful spirits. Carrying a Whole into completion cannot be achieved by mortal means alone. 

I was a bit surprised at how the story kind of wrote its own ending and I'm also a bit morose about how bittersweet it is. The soul usually gets reincarnated into its next life but she wouldn't be able to do that either. She'd just be gone, never to meet or experience another soul.

Anyway, I still have a lot more to say on AWC (and more to draw), but this is the endgame trajectory for Jaime and her pals.

some deck box proofs

Hello! I don't think I ever posted on here the final photoshoots of these deck boxes I designed for Mana Moon a few months back. It's always so cool to see your art on something tangible like this. ;-; 

Here are my original blog posts previewing the art:

Little Butterfly box 

Avatar-Charmer box 

Sanctuary

Hello! Sorry for the radio silence, it's been a Struggle. I managed to get something going though, I didn't think I would make it this far. It is a little unfinished on the right cos I extended the canvas after the fact and I ran out of steam LOL. It will be tidied up before I send out the files next month though!

The second one will likely be coloured later on too. I have been painting a lot of Jaimes in recent months. She is my vessel for what love feels like to me so I like to try and illustrate that through her.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Bloom (with progress shots)

It's a very different vibe but it's the partner piece to "Rooted" from last month.

Rewards are going out shortly! :D

PSA: Patreon glitch + RCG2 stuff I forgot about lol

Hello! Something Was Happening with Patreon's payment servers and I think a few patrons were booted off when the August payment cycle started and the banks rejected Patreon as fraudulent LOL. It seems they've sorted out the problem(?) but I don't think they know how to correct the pledges that got lost, so the patrons themselves might have to resub? I'm sorry for the inconvenience ><

I also realized I never posted about the box art I helped make for River City Girls 2 (I did the box art for the first game too). I also did a bunch of the in-game character portraits. (I wasn't responsible for any of the bg art shown here though.) Sometimes I realize my resumé is pretty cool lol.

Jo doodles again

I was like "why don't I have any drawings this month" and remembered spending hours on this page of drawings asdfasd

Also please have this page out of my sketchbook from *looks at the date* la-last year, apparently,

The third  is a WIP preview of the colour illustration for this month. I want to keep having at least one of these per month since I haven't been making CT pages in a while ><;; aghh my soul has other needs I must fulfill...

"Rikka Strenna"

This is quite possibly the most kawaii deck box ever lol. The left is a mock-up of the exterior designed by Amanda (Mana Moon) and I was to use the palettes provided to complete the interior art. The character is from a Yu-Gi-Oh card called "Rikka Strenna." 

This harkens back to the kind of stuff I loved to draw 20 years ago, haha. When I was a wee middle schooler I loved drawing cute little girls with snowflake motifs. It made me feel very nostalgic drawing this.

Also rewards were sent out! Thank you kindly for your patience and support.

Love taken root

Thank you kindly for your patience! I didn't want to rush this one because it felt so delicate. It was one of the drawings I made in pencil about two months ago. I'll be packing this with the pencils to send out for the June rewards. :D

another deckbox completed, onto more haha

Hello! I've been busy pumping out these freelance commissions for Mana Moon. This was really difficult but also very fun, just going ham on shiny transparent rainbows haha.

Rewards will hopefully go out this weekend!! Sorry about the delay, I want to paint something nice for you guys since I can't share this as a high res reward. ;-;

CCS x YGO deck box

Hello! The first half of last month was just me being crippled by covid but I'm okay now and this is what I've been working on recently. It called me back to my shoujo roots hahaha. CCS is one of my biggest influences as an artist and I think it still shows.

I designed the outfits to reflect the various characters in the "magistus" archetype in the yu-gi-oh card game. These pieces are to be produced as a deckbox just like the Demon Slayer piece I made (see last two images). I'm pretty excited to get this one done!

Rewards might be going out a bit late I think, because I will be trying to get a colour piece done as part of the PSD rewards. (As this is client work, I can't provide this one)

I hope everyone's been well!

Jo again

Jo worries when Jaime sleeps, the way some cats worry about their humans. Jaime would sometimes wake up to his head on her chest, cos he wants to make sure that she didn't stay unconscious the way she did when he first met (and assaulted) her.

____

The second piece is a bit more personal. I realized I'd been forgetting to let go of the painful parts of my life that I got to know over the course of my healing journey. Sitting with my own grief and sadness became a necessity in learning to explore and love myself, but I think I've fixated on that part enough and I'm ready to move on.

I drew this because I was struck by this bittersweet feeling, as if I were saying goodbye to a dear friend I'd made over the past 7 years. Neither of us had to put up a fight though, because this friend wanted the best for me.

May rewards sent (have some dance sketches)

Hello! Thank you kindly for your patience. 

I've been picking away at these for a little while, I just wanted to draw them dancing gracefully together.

pencils and revamping old art

Hello! I've been busy with a convention and other things, but uhh... if anyone wants to read an AU fanfic of my OCs (lol??) you can find it pinned in the server under #awc-discussion LOL. I realize these guys' stories are vague and nebulous and it actually helped me to recontextualize them in a "real world" setting to learn more about them. It's got a couple of sexy scenes in it too but it's mostly just sad LOL.

In exploring their relationships in prose, I've been learning more about the canon too. Both Bernard and Teo pledge fealty to Jaime earlier on in their story, and I wanted to draw Bernard's scene since I already drew Teo's years ago. I didn't know what it was for at the time. It's so weird how I realize the meanings behind what I draw years after the fact. Serves me right for drawing from my subconscious I guess.

Also I just found out today that Bernard/Astrel is actually a God, which I never paid attention to for some reason?? He was just a randomly massive and overpowered spirit that knew too much... I thought it was unusual, but nothing to dwell on LOL I'm so dumb about my own characters.

Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well!

The Anatomy of Love

I like to think this is what it looks like when a person really loves someone, in the truest sense of the word. The love grows and takes root, straight through the heart to the other side, and blooms. When it's allowed to bloom, the person is so much more radiant, and when it takes root, it's hard to un-love the person in question because it reaches so deep into your whole being.

Real, lasting love
only grows deeper
and more beautiful with time.

I think every relationship would open into a different flower, of varying sizes. Or maybe some bear fruit? I'm not sure. This is Jaime's love for Teo, which reflects the flower on his back (in his original buggy form), which I think is a peony. Her love for him naturally takes root and grows, as he stays by her side and cares for her for many many years. I really love that quiet, steady, devoted kind of love.

No charge this month (again)

Hello! I am back to say April's been a bit rough for me, so there are no charges for this month. Thank you for all those who upgraded/joined in the past month, it was bolstering to be honest ;-;

I'll be resuming my routine this month though! I'm already drawing more! Meanwhile, here is a pencil from April. :3

Weave

The hole in Jaime's chest is called a "Whole," and in short it's the idea of carrying God inside of you: a centre that feels everything from everyone by virtue of being connected as One.

I believe everyone has this God inside them to some degree because everyone has the capacity to love; but in order to truly make room for that Presence, one must give themselves away, and surrender their heart to the world. Jaime acquires this Whole over time when the connections she loves dearly have to be pulled out, taking pieces of her heart with them. When all's said and done, her heart is replaced with not an empty void of a hole, but a perfect Whole that emits a warm light.

Shinobu deck box commission

Hello! this is a design for a deck box for Manamoon. I know it's kinda hard to visualize so I included a photo of a prototype too. I am pretty excited to see this come out!

Caim and Basileus

These are again, my friend's OCs. There are two characters named Caim (crow/old man) and Basi (pretty twink) who have bad history together and I just want them to make up lol. I sent Jaime to give Basi a hug when we realized nobody would give him any sympathy for his own tragic backstory o(-(

Dancing in fancy outfits

My friend has been giving me a lot of outfit designs in exchange for my chaos doodles for her haha. I really liked these two for my boys and I sketched out a matching Jaime look for each so that they could dance together. Please enjoy the doodles.